J.A. Redmerski Quotes & Sayings

I'm starting to get used to this feeling of not caring about anything. — J.A. Redmerski

You two were meant to be together. It's like some wicked fucking fairytale love story that you just can't make up, y'know? — J.A. Redmerski

You were the missing piece of my soul, the breath in my lungs, and the blood in my veins. — J.A. Redmerski

I want you, godammit!" I scream at him. "The thought of you leaving and never seeing you again tears-me-up-Inside!" My throat burns like fire. "I can't fucking breathe withough you!"
"SAY IT! Son-of-a-bitch," he says, exasperated, "just say it!"
"I want you to own me!" I can hardly stand on my own anymore. Sobs rock my entire body. My eyes sting and my heart hurts like i never has before. — J.A. Redmerski

Never thought I'd intentionally sleep on a bathromm floor next to a toilet while sober, but I meant it when I said I would sleep anywhere with her. — J.A. Redmerski

He's gawking at me when I open the door.
"Damn girl," he says, looking me over, "what the hell are you trying to do to me?"
I look down at myself, still trying to wake up the rest of the way and realize I'm in those tiny cotton white shorts and varsity tee with no bra on underneath. Oh my God, my nipples are like beacons shining through my shirt! I cross my arms over my chest and try not to look at him i the eyes when he helps himself the rest of the way inside.
"I was going to tell you to get dressed," he goes on, grinning as he walks into the room carrying his bags and the guitar, "but really, you can go just like that if you want."
I shake my head, hiding the smile creeping up on my face. — J.A. Redmerski

She stops chewing and brings the chains on her wrist up to her nose and sniffs. She pulls away with a mild disgusted expression. Definitely smells like a skank ... — J.A. Redmerski

Well, guilt is a bitch, but don't you think if you're thinking it in the first place that it just might be true? — J.A. Redmerski

I think that if past lives are real then we have been lovers in every single one of them. I've known you for a short time, but I feel like I've known you forever. — J.A. Redmerski

Because we only have one life. We get one shot at making it worth living. We took our shot and ran like hell with it. — J.A. Redmerski

[ ... ]after spending so long with someone [ ... ] they eventually begin to see through all of the things you think you're hiding from them so well. — J.A. Redmerski

Coincidence is just a safe conformist for fate. — J.A. Redmerski

When you're with someone for so long you get used to them, y'know? It's a comfort-zone thing. When we get settled in our comfort zone, trying to pull us out of it even if everything about it is hell and unhealthy, is like trying to pull a fat ass couch potato out of his living room long enough to get a life. — J.A. Redmerski

To love someone so deeply means also that it will hurt a thousand times more when he disappoints or leaves you — J.A. Redmerski

You're the world to me," I whisper onto
her lips. "I hope you never forget that."
"I'll never forget," she whispers back.. "But if I ever do, for
whatever reason, I hope you'll always find a way to remind me."
... "Always. — J.A. Redmerski

If neither of us ever speaks again, I can live with that as long as we stay just like this. — J.A. Redmerski

Can't tell twelve from twenty these days, son. It must be something the government has been puttin' in the water - be damn careful when you need to knock some boots. — J.A. Redmerski

What you wear doesn't really matter much. All that matters is where you're going what you're doing while you're wearing it. — J.A. Redmerski

It's my future and my life and I can't make myself live the way someone else wants me to. — J.A. Redmerski

I am discipline. Sarai is rage. — J.A. Redmerski

Depression is pain in its purest form. — J.A. Redmerski

The moment you tell someone else is the moment you become a whiner and the world's smallest violin starts to play. The truth is, we all have problems; we all go through hardships and pain, and my pain is paradise compared to a lot of people's and I really have no right to whine at all. — J.A. Redmerski

I'm not a follower. I never have been. But I'll definitely become someone I'm not for a few hours if it'll make me blend in rather than make me a blatant eye sore and draw attention. — J.A. Redmerski

If anyone's delusional about how love works, what real love feels like, it's the majority of the adult population. — J.A. Redmerski

There was no logic or any sense of purpose except that I knew I had to do something other than what I was doing, or I might not make it through this. — J.A. Redmerski

the key to surviving change: embracing it, however cumbersomely, or gracefully, one can. — J.A. Redmerski

Then why would you buy it?" I ask, and then answer for him sarcastically, "Oh it's a collectible. I get it. You could mount it somewehere in the backseat of the car." I smirk at him. "Or, I could put you in the backseat and mount it in the front." My mouth falls open slightly. Andrew grins and slides the record back in the box. — J.A. Redmerski

If your dad doesn't make it," I begin and his expression falls, "let yourself cry, OK? One of the worst feelings in the world is being unable to cry and eventually it ... starts to make things darker. — J.A. Redmerski

Promise me that if I ever get Alzheimer's or dementia, and I don't remember anyone that you'll visit me every day and read to me like Noah read to Allie. — J.A. Redmerski

Coincidence is just the conformist term for fate. — J.A. Redmerski

You're like a philosopher with tattoos. — J.A. Redmerski

She sticks her tongue out at me and crosses her eyes. Not sure why that made me want to do her in the backseat, but to each his own, I guess. — J.A. Redmerski

- and since nothing lasts forever, in the end everything that once was good, always hurts like hell. — J.A. Redmerski

Why does everybody have to be with somebody? It's a stupid delusion and a really pathetic way of thinking. — J.A. Redmerski

But as I stood there dressed in a cute black pants suit and white button-up shirt and heels, I felt completely out of place. Not necessarily because of the clothes, but ... I just don't belong there. I can't put my finger on it, but that Monday and the rest of that week when I woke up, got dressed and walked into that store, something was itching the back part of my consciousness. I couldn't hear the actual words, but it felt like: This is your life, Camryn Bennett. This is your life. — J.A. Redmerski

I never like to see someone hurting, but I admit whenever I heard someone play the depression card, I'd roll my eyes and go about my business. — J.A. Redmerski

Our story is over, yes, but our journey isn't, because we'll always live on the edge until the day we die. — J.A. Redmerski

All I want to do is pull her against me and hold her until we both die. — J.A. Redmerski

A woman who knows what she wants sexually, and isn't afraid to express it is so fucking hot, Camryn- Tell. Me. What. You. Want. Or, I won't give it to you. — J.A. Redmerski

Just remember to always be yourself and don't be afraid to speak your mind or to dream out loud — J.A. Redmerski

The moment you betray your heart is the moment you lose everything. — J.A. Redmerski

One more thing: don't feel bad for not telling me that you loved me. You didn't need to say it. I knew all along that you did. — J.A. Redmerski

What's Psycho Bitch Barbie doing here?" Nora — J.A. Redmerski

Victor Faust did much more than help me escape a life of abuse and servitude. He changed me.
He changed the landscape of my dreams, the dreams I had every day about living ordinarily and free
and on my own. He changed the colors on the palette from primary to rainbow - as dark as the colors
of that rainbow may be. — J.A. Redmerski

I hate to say it, but shit really does happen. You just have to get over it. Beat the hell out of it by doing things that make you happy. — J.A. Redmerski

The pain of being near her and knowing that I can't give in to my feelings for her, is the worst kind of pain I've ever felt. — J.A. Redmerski

I was wrong about you, Izabel," I whisper near her ear; the pain engulfing my insides. "I am the ticking time bomb. I am more unstable than I ever could have imagined. You are discipline, and I am rage. And the only way I know to control the chaos inside, is to eradicate the things that control me. — J.A. Redmerski

Everybody starts out as strangers. — J.A. Redmerski

I guess when you just don't care it kind of makes fear your bitch. — J.A. Redmerski

And when I get mad, I always cry. It's how I've been for as long as I can remember. And I hate it. — J.A. Redmerski

I wonder if the ocean smells different on the other side of the world. — J.A. Redmerski

I'm not sure what it is that I want, but I feel it deep in the pit of my stomach. It's there sitting dormant. I'll know it when I see it. — J.A. Redmerski

What I want is to be with you. That's what I want. It's all I've ever wanted. — J.A. Redmerski

I guess by default we're all the ones shaking our heads at the stupidity of others until we're forced into traumatic experiences ourselves. — J.A. Redmerski

She and I went to school with Shay Mitchell and Hayden Panettiere, Megan Fox was prom queen, Chris Hemsworth was prom king."
I make a clicking noise with my tongue.
"And there was Natalie's worst enemy, a cheerleader who tried to steal Damon away from her in tenth grade; Natalie said she was the slutty version of Nina Dobrev - none of these people really looked like them, not really anyway. Natalie is just ... odd — J.A. Redmerski

I turn toward the window beside me because unlike Victor, I have absolutely no control over the smile on my face, and I can't risk letting him see it. ~~~~ — J.A. Redmerski

But the heart has a mind of its own and it always gets what it wants, especially when it's dying. — J.A. Redmerski

I think it's safe to say that I'll have a hard time even being in the same room as you ... I'm not enjoying it right now. Honestly, I'd rather not have to see you much. I think you're a dick, and a crazy psychopath who belongs in a prison mental institution. I'll never fucking like you and I doubt I'll ever have any respect for you. — J.A. Redmerski

Maybe you should get rid of me," I whisper onto his lips.
"Never," he says, kissing me once softly. "You're mine for as long as you breathe. — J.A. Redmerski

Because love is the greatest scam of all time. And because as much as I fucking love you, I hate you for inflicting it upon me! — J.A. Redmerski

He loves me without having to say it. He cherishes me without having to prove it. When he touches me I know what he's thinking, how he truly feels beneath that mask he wears in the face of others. I'm the only soul he's ever let into his life completely. And the only one he'll never let go. — J.A. Redmerski

I believe that no matter what happens, or where we go, or if there's an afterlife, that we'll always be connected. Not even death can make me forget you, or forget that I love you. — J.A. Redmerski

Loyalty is not so unlike love: you do things for it that you would not otherwise do; you feel a terrible, all-consuming sense of responsibility to uphold it; you go the extra mile to prove it; and most of all, you accept the pain it creates because to deny it would be to deny the loyalty itself. The only difference between loyalty and love is that for love you do all of these things because you want to, and you would do them again, and again, and again. Loyalty is learned; love is organic. — J.A. Redmerski

I say that I'm not into you like that, Camryn, because..," he pauses, searching my face, looking at my lips for a moment as if deciding whether or not he should kiss them again, " ... because you're not the girl I could only sleep with once. — J.A. Redmerski

The twins hobbled forward. "Freaks and dames and boys and things, drinks and bones and shiny rings," said the twin on the left.
"Ashes and earth will imprison the frail, blood of love will lift the veil," said the other. — J.A. Redmerski

I love you so much, Bray. So fucking much! Sobs rattled my chest briefly until I managed to calm myself.
Bray finally gave in and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around me. I scooped her up into them, squeezing the life out of her and into me. We shared that life. We always had. And from this day forth, we both knew that we always would.
Even if it killed us. — J.A. Redmerski

The open road is gone. The spontaneous stops and sometimes not knowing where we are but not giving a damn, is gone. — J.A. Redmerski

I have to live and make my own choices, my own mistakes. You have to let me be me, even if i suck at it sometimes. - Adria — J.A. Redmerski

For the first time in my life, I've felt whole, alive, free. You were the missing piece of my soul, the breath in my lungs, the blood in my veins. — J.A. Redmerski

I'm not just sleeping with an assassin. I've grown very attached to one. — J.A. Redmerski

I run behind her, letting her stay a few steps ahead of me so if she happens to fall I'll be there to laugh at her first and then help her up afterwards. — J.A. Redmerski

Who needs psychiatrists? Who needs grief counsellors and life coaches and motivational speakers? Fuck all that! Just stare at the night sky and let yourself get lost in it every now and then. — J.A. Redmerski

... dwelling and planning is bullshit," he says. "You dwell on the past, you can't move forward. Spend too much time planning for the future and you just push yourself backwards, or you say stagnant in the same place all your life." His eyes lock on mine. "Live in the moment. — J.A. Redmerski

And either this will be my first night as a killer, or my last night alive. — J.A. Redmerski

I know I'm not your first anything, but I hope that I'll be your last everything. — J.A. Redmerski

Truthfully, he lives right next to the Sexy Tree and I think that's the only thing that bothers me about this whole situation. — J.A. Redmerski

I want you, goddammit! ... The thought of you leaving at never seeing you again tears-me-up-inside! ... I can't fucking breathe without you! — J.A. Redmerski

You're more important to me than anything or anyone ... I want to wake up every morning with you next to me. I need you in my life more than I have ever needed or wanted anything. — J.A. Redmerski

I watch her so much that I forget it's raining at all. — J.A. Redmerski

I guess my parents really screwed me up somewhere along the line because as good as they are to me, as much as they do for me and as much as I love them, I still managed to grow up terrified I would end up just like them. Unhappy and only pretending to live out this wonderful life with two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. But in reality, I knew they sleep with their backs facing each other. — J.A. Redmerski

Love always comes first. — J.A. Redmerski

I can do whatever I want, yet I find it eternally difficult to choose where to begin. Or if to begin at all. — J.A. Redmerski

I kiss her long and deep and hard until I feel like I'm running on the fringes of my emotions; they're tearing away at me like hands in Hell reaching out for me as I leap over the flames, trying to pull me down with them into sin, and as hard as I try to get away, a part of me wants them to take me. I want to sin. I want to kiss her.
And so I do.
And I don't stop. — J.A. Redmerski

This goes against everything that I am, Sarai," he says and then kisses me. "No, it doesn't," I whisper and kiss him back. "It's you becoming more of who you really are. — J.A. Redmerski

Best friends, no matter what they do or how much they hurt you, it only hurts as much as it does because they are your best friend. And none of us are perfect. Mistakes were made for best friends to forgive; it's what makes being a best friend official. — J.A. Redmerski

I had no idea what I was getting into with Brayelle Bates. I didn't know about such things when I was nine. I didn't know. But I would never regret a moment with her. Never. — J.A. Redmerski

Because this is our life. We met on the road; we grew to know and to love each other on the road. It's where we were meant to be for however long, and it's what we're going to do until it becomes clear that we're meant to do something else. — J.A. Redmerski

You're still human and the moment you see someone attractive, you can't help but make note of it. It's human nature. Acting on it is a whole other story and that's where I draw the line. — J.A. Redmerski

Whether it was about sleeping next to a pile of cow shit or under a bridge overpass next to a homeless drunk-I would sleep anywhere with her. — J.A. Redmerski

She refuses to take the easy way out by accepting the get-out-of-jail-free card that I offered her. She refuses to be allowed mistakes and though I know she will still make them because she is human, she will learn faster from them than someone who chooses to accept the excuses. — J.A. Redmerski

It's not only about sadness. In truth, sadness really has little to do with it. Depression is pain in its purest form and I would do anything to be able to feel an emotion again. Any emotion at all. Pain hurts, but pain that's so powerful that you can't feel anything anymore, that's when you start to feel like you're going crazy. — J.A. Redmerski

I'm not helping any of you freaks!" she shouts. "I'm not the Witch of Wayland, you hear me? I'm sick of all you mutants pounding on my door for love spells and all the like! I told you, I don't do that backwoods modern-day, wannabe Wiccafuck stuff! You hear me? — J.A. Redmerski

I can't sit through this thing with you next to me flashing your man cave the whole time. — J.A. Redmerski

Well, everybody needs help feeling alive again every once in a while." "No," she says seriously, and my gaze falls back on hers, "I didn't say again, Andrew; for making me feel alive for the first time. — J.A. Redmerski

Oh, you are the cutest thing I've ever seen," her voice rises a little higher the more excited she gets. Then she looks up straight at Camryn and says with a serious face, "Oh my God, I want one. — J.A. Redmerski

I look at those hands. I look at them, long and hard and symbolically, because in my heart I know they're the hands that will end my life before this night is over. — J.A. Redmerski

You're sleeping with an assassin, running for your life every single day from men who want to kill you and you're convinced you're going to die of discomfort. — J.A. Redmerski

I just became Camryn Parrish. — J.A. Redmerski

My plant is probably dead."
Camryn looks slightly surprised. "You have a plant?"
I smile. "Yeah, her name's Georgia. — J.A. Redmerski

I know what you must be thinking: What a bitch. And you'll get no argument from me on that one. I was pretty messed up back then. I loved Elias with all my head, and that scared the hell out of me.
But I should get something out of the way before I dive into the excuses of why I was the way I was. I'm sure Elias sugarcoated me with his bias and all, but if this story is going to be told, then it needs to be told in its truth and entirety, without Band-Aids and training wheels.
I was fucked up. — J.A. Redmerski