Graham Parke Quotes & Sayings

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn't even check for traffic. There wasn't any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker. — Graham Parke

I'm not sure my belly button is exactly in the middle. I wonder what that means.. — Graham Parke

My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave.
Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped lips) — Graham Parke

Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me.
I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hopes of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed. — Graham Parke

I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences. — Graham Parke

It's finally happened; scientists claim to have discovered the very first person in history who doesn't like french fries.
Just imagine the implications! — Graham Parke

We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I'd thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over. — Graham Parke

Do you ever feel that everything would be okay, if only you had an Irish accent? — Graham Parke

I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg.
I felt dirty and stupid. — Graham Parke

Every once in a while you come across a novel that reminds you why you think you enjoy reading in the first place. — Graham Parke

Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike. — Graham Parke

I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me.
Survival strategies for the 21st century. — Graham Parke

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money. — Graham Parke

I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually. — Graham Parke

Sometimes I'm so smart, I almost feel like a real person. — Graham Parke

Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors. — Graham Parke

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening. — Graham Parke

Factor 40. It's like rubber cement. It'll take me a good twenty-five minutes to grind this stuff into her skin. I shudder at the thought. Skin should never get old, there's no point to it. Or perhaps it's just an evolutionary deterrent. You've served your biological purpose. You're not supposed to reproduce anymore, so now you get to look like dried fruit until you die. Mom — Graham Parke

Read an article about a group of mathematicians who developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. I was stunned. Never thought I'd see the day. Preliminary indications are that the model allows any two kinds of fruit to be compared, although guava still causes minor rounding errors. Further testing is ongoing.
Gomez Porter, blogspace entry — Graham Parke