George Meyer Quotes & Sayings

You can't keep bitch-slapping your creativity, or it'll run away and find a new pimp. — George Meyer

I don't like that The Simpsons are spokespeople for Burger King and MasterCard and Butterfinger. In the first Gulf War, I was really upset that the Simpsons characters were being drawn on tanks and bombs. But those are things that I don't control. — George Meyer

I was brought up Catholic and, of course, I strayed and repudiated it. That's a painful thing to go through, because you have to look back and realize that you wasted a gigantic chunk of your life. — George Meyer

I find that the creative side of my brain and the archival side of my brain don't work well together. When I've done my best work, I've been in a trance-like state. — George Meyer

Advertising is a conscienceless industry, populated by cowards and idiots, that warps and drains everyone. It eggs on the worst in all of us. If I could eliminate either advertising or nuclear weapons, I would choose advertising. — George Meyer

Life is challenging for everyone. If someone can believe that he's a sovereign in his tiny domain, it's just an adaptation to life. — George Meyer

Experience as much as you can and absorb a lot of reality. Otherwise, your writing will have the force of a Wiffle ball. — George Meyer

I don't know what the universe is all about, but to me, nothing is gained by slapping a God sticker on it. It has never been a comfort to me to believe there's an all-seeing eye in the sky. — George Meyer

To me, a mark of maturity is realizing that nobody runs the world. Fat cat politicians and secret conspiracies don't control our lives. In reality, the world is much more complex than that. — George Meyer

Clever is the eunuch version of funny. — George Meyer

As a child, I tried to play by the rules. I got very good grades in school; I was an Eagle Scout; and I believed in all of it. — George Meyer

There's a built-up tension in religion, and if you can release it, you'll get a huge and satisfying laugh. — George Meyer

I guess I'm drawn to religion because I can be provocative without harming something people really care about, like their cars. — George Meyer

Men often struggle with their attraction to other women. They don't quite understand why they have to be with the same woman forever. — George Meyer

I prefer to linger on the periphery before making a commitment. — George Meyer

As a writer you sometimes feel the need to shake things up. — George Meyer

When people have no interest in a subject, it's very hard to get them to laugh about it. — George Meyer

There's absolutely no way that something I do on my own is going to be seen in Malaysia. — George Meyer

You have to respect people's suffering. To deny that the world is unfair and painful for most of the people living in it would be false and judgmental. — George Meyer

I'm a pessimist, but I have many painstakingly applied coats of optimism. — George Meyer

It was peculiar to be standing so close to him. He's just a man, but still, what a thing to be Neil Armstrong! — George Meyer

I tend to look at the world more from Voltaire's perspective. Incidentally, if you haven't read Candide lately, it's a fabulous book. It's riotously, laugh-out-loud funny in a way that no Shakespeare comedy will ever be. — George Meyer

I resisted parenthood for a long, long time. But having a daughter has given me a sense of hopefulness that I didn't have before. — George Meyer

Launching a new TV show is probably one of the most difficult things that a writer can do. — George Meyer

I had a bumper sticker on my car for a long time that said, "Kill your television." People helpfully pointed out that I was a total fraud because I was a television writer. — George Meyer

I'm not religious. I do have a baby - a four-month old girl - and that's a religion in itself. — George Meyer

Every joke can't be dazzling. And if you think you spotted an inconsistency, you did! — George Meyer

I have no idea how it got so big. I was just trying to find something to do while I was living in Boulder, Colorado, which isn't really a funny town. There are a lot of smart people there, but comedy isn't at the forefront of their minds. — George Meyer

I don't remember a lot of what I write. I try to release it after it's out there so that I can be fresh again. — George Meyer

I guess I started to realize that being an agnostic was such a wimpy position. — George Meyer

I'm enthralled by the national yearning that the Russians had during the 50s and 60s. The whole century was pretty rough for them. They suffered genocide, war, poverty, and half the population was sent to labor camps. But they were determined to get into space first. — George Meyer

For me, marriage is a grotesque, unforgiving, clunky contrivance. Yet society pushes it as a shimmering ideal. — George Meyer

The most oblivious people are often the happiest. — George Meyer

The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: 'They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?' It's a horrifying idea juxtaposed with something really banal-and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: Life's a big jumble, but somehow it leads to something I can consume. I love that. — George Meyer

As a John Kerry supporter, I wanted to send him a check. But then it occurred to me that most of that money would end up in the hands of advertising agencies and television networks. And the money would be used to create deceptive commercials that flatter our point of view and shade the facts our way. And I wasn't comfortable with that. But on the other hand, that's how the game is played. You're always grappling. — George Meyer

I have a deep suspicion of social institutions and tradition in general. — George Meyer

I love that Voltaire was so willing to shock his readers with arbitrary cruelty. And I can completely relate to it. — George Meyer

I want to be tolerant of other people's beliefs. I have wonderful friends who are religious, and I don't want to say that they're dimwits. They should certainly be able to pursue what works for them. I'm just saying that it doesn't work for me and I don't want to pretend that it does. — George Meyer

Instead of three networks you have three hundred or three thousand. Audiences are inundated with programming, and that sometimes gives them a sense of petulant entitlement. — George Meyer

I have nothing but respect for the purist who won't work for the pharaoh. But I'm not that strong. — George Meyer

If there's reason for hope, it lies in man's occasional binges of cooperation. To save our planet, we'll need that kind of heroic effort, in which all types of people join forces for the common good — George Meyer

I don't like the antagonism that most religions have for science, and freedom and, frankly, individuality. I do like the Dalai Lama. — George Meyer