Gary Chapman Quotes & Sayings

For your love for me is very great. You have rescued me from the depths of death. - Psalm 86:13 — Gary Chapman

Respect begins with this attitude: "I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience." Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual. — Gary Chapman

God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God. — Gary Chapman

Finding out how your loved one feels love is an important step to expressing love effectively. — Gary Chapman

A soft answer turns away anger. — Gary Chapman

Love hugging and kissing my wife after we've been apart for a while. — Gary Chapman

The one who looks at me is seeing the one who sent me. - John 12:45 niv — Gary Chapman

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is sweet as perfume and incense. - Proverbs 27:9 — Gary Chapman

Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what you have. Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both. Position and money can be squandered or abused, but they can also be used to help others. — Gary Chapman

Sometimes it is hard to accept God's provision, but He is unchanging and always lovingly cares for us. — Gary Chapman

Those who love God can't help but reflect His love to others. - Tammy L. Hensel — Gary Chapman

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. - 1 John 4:16 — Gary Chapman

The author stipulates that while television lately background noise for a child, it tends to shift to the foreground for the adult. The adult pays enough attention to the media attention is paid to the child. — Gary Chapman

A true friend cares more about what is right than about pleasing you. — Gary Chapman

A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse. — Gary Chapman

God gave us all gifts to serve, love, and give. What ones do you have? - Clay Taylor - — Gary Chapman

The deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of — Gary Chapman

Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. — Gary Chapman

Unfortunately, the eternality of the "in-love" experience is fiction, not fact. The late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. Her endearing "quirks" are now merely annoying. His sharp sense of humor now wounds. Those little bumps we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains. — Gary Chapman

Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all! - Romans 12:16 — Gary Chapman

Women like to be affirmed verbally, just as men like to be affirmed verbally. They tend to pull away from dating partners who do not give affirmation. Lack of verbal affirmation is interpreted as lack of love. — Gary Chapman

You can simply remember that behavioral expressions of love can be divided into physical touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation. — Gary Chapman

When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn't have to go to school or work. — Gary Chapman

Discovering your own love language helps you understand why you feel more loved and appreciated by certain people than you do. — Gary Chapman

Helping others see why they are special is a great way to remind them of how the heavenly Father loves them and has made them unique. - Jeanette Gardner Littleton — Gary Chapman

The one thing I ask of the Lord - the thing I seek most - is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections. - Psalm 27:4 — Gary Chapman

Sometimes the best use of resources is a gift or event that says, "I care." - Jeanette Gardner Littleton — Gary Chapman

Such immaturity will manifest itself in a lack of integrity. This lack will critically affect the child's spiritual development; the less able a child is to deal with anger well, the more antagonistic will be his attitude toward authority, including the authority of God. A child's immature handling of anger is a primary reason the child will reject the parent's spiritual values. — Gary Chapman

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. - Romans 5:8 — Gary Chapman

We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic. — Gary Chapman

Love is the most important word in the English language
and the most confusing. — Gary Chapman

It takes time and the conscious choice to listen. — Gary Chapman

I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry. — Gary Chapman

Love others even when they're not nice; they might be the next ones God draws to himself. - Mark Littleton — Gary Chapman

Often we feel that love results from others caring or providing for us, but our deepest emotional ties usually result from our investment in others. When someone says they've quit loving another, I often sense that the lack of love results from failing to invest in the life of that individual. When we invest patience and kindness and dispel our anger and judgments in relationships, we then find an emotional bond springs forth. Like most business transactions, love has to be invested in before we will discover a payoff.
Steven Thompson — Gary Chapman

A gentle answer turns away wrath. — Gary Chapman

Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person. — Gary Chapman

They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. - Matthew 2:11 — Gary Chapman

Love helps us hold each other up. - Kathleen Brown — Gary Chapman

You are the gatekeeper of your child's mental diet. — Gary Chapman

We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. We will always have the wonderful feelings that we have at this moment. Nothing could ever come between us. Nothing will ever overcome our love for each other. [..] Unfortunately, the eternality of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact. The late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. — Gary Chapman

The purpose of life is to know God and to bring glory and honor to his name. For most people, marriage enhances the possibility of achieving this objective. — Gary Chapman

One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, "The tongue has the power of life and death."2 Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Solomon further noted, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. — Gary Chapman

Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality. — Gary Chapman

Loving others sometimes requires a love far greater and purer than our own. - Dawn Lilly — Gary Chapman

When your spouse's emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life. — Gary Chapman

But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God. - Romans 4:5 — Gary Chapman

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise. — Gary Chapman

Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you. - 3 John 1:5 — Gary Chapman

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage. — Gary Chapman

Love makes requests, not demands. — Gary Chapman

Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake. — Gary Chapman

The man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father. - Proverbs 29:3 — Gary Chapman

Negativism in two-year-olds is a normal step of development, one way the child begins to separate psychologically from his mother or father. — Gary Chapman

Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. - 1 Corinthians 8:2 — Gary Chapman

At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love. — Gary Chapman

Whenever you enter a season of change, remember to look to the God of Creation who loves you in and out of season. - Alyssa Santos - — Gary Chapman

Jesus repeated the question: "Simon son of John, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord," Peter said, "you know I love you." "Then take care of my sheep," Jesus said. - John 21:16 — Gary Chapman

Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives. — Gary Chapman

God meets us in the tough places and grants us hope and peace. - Loretta Boyett - — Gary Chapman

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. - Matthew 20:28 — Gary Chapman

Quality conversation is quite different from the love language words of affirmation. Affirming words focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses fully as much on what we are hearing. If I am sharing my love for you by means of quality time and we are going to spend that time in conversation, it will be with a genuine desire to understand your thoughts, feelings and desires. — Gary Chapman

Since you are a temple of God, you should love like one too. - Mark Littleton — Gary Chapman

I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness. — Gary Chapman

He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. - Ephesians 1:8 — Gary Chapman

Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love. — Gary Chapman

If God doesn't discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. - Hebrews 12:8 — Gary Chapman

Mark Twain once said, I can live for two months on a good compliment. — Gary Chapman

May we serve as God's messengers through love in action. - Nora Peacock - — Gary Chapman

God has a Comforter available to be our Advocate whenever we need someone to warm us and be on our side. - Sheila Embry — Gary Chapman

Your example is a witness - of God's love and yours. - James Hopkins - — Gary Chapman

The Lord who created you says: "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine." - Isaiah 43:1 — Gary Chapman

A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them. - Proverbs 15:18 — Gary Chapman

God knows just when we need a friend. - Dawn Lilly - — Gary Chapman

Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. — Gary Chapman

They'll know we are transformed when our behavior truly changes. - James Stuart Bell — Gary Chapman

Quality time does not mean we must spend our moments gazing into each other's eyes. It may mean doing something together that we both enjoy. The particular activity is secondary, only a means to creating the sense of togetherness. The important thing is not the activity itself but the emotions that are created between both. — Gary Chapman

When we love the Lord and seek Him in the stillness of our hearts, He hears us and answers. - Susan E. Ramsden — Gary Chapman

In recent years, many research studies have come to the same conclusion: Babies who are held, caressed, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. — Gary Chapman

So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. - 2 Corinthians 3:18 — Gary Chapman

Who can you surprise with your service this week? - Janet Graham — Gary Chapman

What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives. — Gary Chapman

Physician Albert Scheweitzer said. " We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idiocy and die. — Gary Chapman

Love prays for others - as long as the prayers are needed. - Jeanette Gardner Littleton — Gary Chapman

We all need support, in the workplace and beyond it. When we both give and receive, we stand a much better chance of survival. — Gary Chapman

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. - Psalm 16:8 — Gary Chapman

Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in close proximity. They are in the same house at the same time, but they are not together. A wife who is texting while her husband tries to talk to her is not giving him quality time, because he does not have her full attention. — Gary Chapman

But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. . . And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren. - Deuteronomy 4:9 — Gary Chapman

Sometimes when we mine a person's life, we find a heart of gold beyond the crusty exterior. - Janet Graham - — Gary Chapman

Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love. — Gary Chapman

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship. — Gary Chapman

6 If I love them only when they meet my requirements or expectations, they will feel incompetent and will believe it is pointless to do their best, since it is never enough. They will always be plagued by insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, and anger. To guard against this, I need to often remind myself of my responsibility for their total growth. (For more on this, you will want to read How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell.) — Gary Chapman

Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does. No matter what he does (or does not do), the parent still loves him. Sadly, some parents display a love that is conditional; it depends on something other than their children just being. Conditional love is based on performance and is often associated with training techniques that offer gifts, rewards, and privileges to children who behave or perform in desired ways. — Gary Chapman

Even the smallest actions of a friend can make a big difference. - Zeta Davidson - — Gary Chapman

Love won't allow you to bear burdens alone. - Tina Givens - — Gary Chapman

Battles come, but God is there. Accept His love, even if you can't feel it at the moment. — Gary Chapman

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. — Gary Chapman

Discipline is not a negative word. It comes from the Greek word to train. — Gary Chapman

A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking of me," or, "She remembered me." You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn't matter whether it costs money. — Gary Chapman

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve. — Gary Chapman