E.V. Iverson Quotes & Sayings

If it ain't fast or sexy, it damn well better taste good. — E.V. Iverson

Sure, I'll just run out to the Piggly Wiggly and ask the butcher for a properly aged finger bone. — E.V. Iverson

What's that supposed to mean, 'a passin' hunger?' I ATE my fuckin' girlfriend! An' we ain't talkin' little fuckin' love bites or a bit of a chew - I went wild kingdom on her ass! It was like a pig pickin' after fuckin' Lent-FUCK! — E.V. Iverson

As it turns out, if you freeze improperly packed human remains (i.e. balling them up willy-nilly and jamming them under a couple frozen turkeys and a max pack of Hot Pockets,) just like with animal remains... — E.V. Iverson

you'd think being turn into a monster would have some perks - some monstrous super powers like super spidey senses or cool fangs - at least something more than a skin condition and eating disorder. — E.V. Iverson

In comparison to cannibalism and grave robbing, he reckoned lying to the dead was pretty mild on his growing list of sins. — E.V. Iverson

Shit, a hillbilly ho' MMA reality show? It could've aired right after Buckwild. All you'd need is an above ground swimming pool - one of those fancy ones from Sears with the wrap around decking - and you'd have the perfect cracker coliseum. Who wouldn't pay to see a couple spitting-mad, big-haired Daisy-Dukes kick the shit out of each other while some good-old-boys drank themselves stupid cheering them on? — E.V. Iverson

Were faulty embalming and premature decay a dead hypochondriac's worst fears? — E.V. Iverson