Drew Hayes Quotes & Sayings

one dream had him chased by a giant pumpkin wielding knives, while a later dream had him chased by a giant knife wielding pumpkins. The first had been scarier, yet curiously it was the second that jerked him from his slumber. — Drew Hayes

The training area was set up where the tournament would actually be held, since putting together two structures to serve the same purpose would be at the level of idiotic redundancy reserved for the highest halls of government. — Drew Hayes

Grumph let out a harrumph, which indicated either that he was unharmed and waiting patiently for a new opportunity to arise, or that a sparrow had shit in his porridge. — Drew Hayes

For once, the only one she had to please with her decision was herself, and the truth was, Gabrielle had been far happier as a pretend goblin, than a pretend proper lady. — Drew Hayes

The truth had its place, and it was called a deathbed. — Drew Hayes

Bandit or demon, human or beast, none of it made any difference. The bandits had made this a situation of predators and prey. Only living mattered. Everything else was nothing more than an afterthought. — Drew Hayes

Glitter is a form of anti-depressant, because it is impossible to be sad when you twinkle. — Drew Hayes

This book is dedicated to the uncool, uncoordinated, unexceptional, uncharming, uninteresting, and especially the unashamed. To everyone from the Awkwards to the Zeroes, living as the proud oddballs they are. This book is dedicated to my people. — Drew Hayes

I'm sweating like a whore in church out there. Thank the heavens I'm sexy enough to pull it off. — Drew Hayes

Albert died in an unfortunate accident sometime ago and was raised as a zombie by his amateur necromancer friend, Neil. Bubba was a new friend we had acquired in Vegas when helping him gain back the freedom he had previously gambled away. The fourth member of our group, a government agent and my girlfriend named Krystal, was out of town for work this week, thus I was conducting my first weekly scrabble tournament with just the three of us. Which leaves only me to be accounted for in the explanation. My name. which I hope you know by now. is Frederick Frankford Fletcher and I am a vampire, though still not the type that inspires swooning or terror. — Drew Hayes

I am still a god, after all. There's a certain way these things are done. — Drew Hayes

Still, I find lying to be more dangerous than expertly telling the truth, so I avoid it whenever possible. — Drew Hayes

Instinct was well and good in the right situations, but I refused to let it dictate how I treated or reacted to the people around me. What they were was not the same as who they were, and I knew that better than anyone. — Drew Hayes

Happiness is a temporary chemical imbalance of the true state of mind. — Drew Hayes

You're a good man who happens to be a vampire. We aren't human, but that doesn't make us monsters. — Drew Hayes

It's curious that children can either be expert liars or utterly incapable of hiding their emotions, and the classification changes from minute to minute. — Drew Hayes

Krystal snorted out a laugh. "Hit on me? Freddy, Bubba is gay. Like really gay. Gayer than a unicorn butt-fucking a rainbow. You're the one he has a little crush on. — Drew Hayes

Death was a one-shot deal - it happened, and then you were free. Sally was an old-school southern woman, and Hank knew first-hand that they weren't nearly as kind as death when they got cross. — Drew Hayes

I got into magic because I got into alchemy. Which I got into because I was into chemistry, which I was learning about because I wanted to get better with botany, which I had taken up studying in an effort to grow some killer weed — Drew Hayes

Sometimes, attaining the impossible was simply a matter of continuously putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what. — Drew Hayes

We'll loot the bodies and be on our way." "The words that start every great adventure," Gabrielle quipped sarcastically. She might have been surprised to discover how accurate that statement truly was. — Drew Hayes

it was that single factor that seemed to most determine how content they were with life: the willingness to act. Taking chances, even when they rarely paid off, still generated more joy — Drew Hayes

Not every situation has a perfect solution; often, you just have to take your pick from the array of poor choices spread out before you. — Drew Hayes

Humans can only toil endlessly for so long. Every now and then we need to taste the sweeter things in life, to remember why we do the work in the first place. — Drew Hayes

Along the way, he followed his own advice and snagged a pair of mismatched daggers from the corpses of fallen archers. They weren't as well-made as the ones he'd taken from the dead rogue, but they had pointy ends he could stab into people and that was really all that mattered in a dagger. — Drew Hayes

Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?," I asked, dumbfounded. — Drew Hayes

This is less of a 'the king needs a reason' thing and more of a 'the king loves burning shit and killing people' thing," Eric corrected. — Drew Hayes

You know, you're a pretty terrible person." "You're not the first to accuse me of such." "I didn't imagine I would be. Still, in spite of that, or maybe because of it, you're also a really good friend. — Drew Hayes

Grumble is the god of henchmen and minions. Once a former lackey himself, after his deification he chose to look over his own people rather than putting on airs. — Drew Hayes

The reason I told you this was pointless is because it is," Vince said, staring down at Michael as his defense slid away in jagged, icy chunks. "You can't freeze me. You can't hit me. You can't even defend against me. You're so far below me that beating you isn't even a challenge. You're nothing to me, Michael. — Drew Hayes

Newsflash: every relationship a person has ends in failure, save for one. Maybe two if you count getting remarried after they kick off, but the point is, we all go in with a ninety-whatever percent failure rate. — Drew Hayes

And these invitations, these are already sent out?" Rich asked from the front row. "Indeed. Ever since the year a student attempted to hijack the mail truck, we've made it policy to only remind the students of Parents' Weekend after all the invitations are delivered, — Drew Hayes

Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long. — Drew Hayes

I missed the days when I would silently judge seemingly crazy people in a park, instead of being one of them. — Drew Hayes

In Seattle there is a constant hope for a period called "two days in a row when it doesn't fucking rain. — Drew Hayes

but I'd advise that we all brace for the worst rather than allow ourselves to succumb to optimism's siren song." "Why — Drew Hayes

Oh sure, everyone else charges monsters and it's brave, I do it once and I'm a madman. — Drew Hayes

Friday has always been the blessed child of Time. It's admired, looked forward to, and savored with each occurrence. — Drew Hayes