Drew Carey Quotes & Sayings

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going. — Drew Carey

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine. — Drew Carey

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have. — Drew Carey

I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me. — Drew Carey

I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet. — Drew Carey

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it! — Drew Carey

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. — Drew Carey

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do. — Drew Carey

I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box ... Why should someone put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish? — Drew Carey

I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them. — Drew Carey

The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible. — Drew Carey

I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it. — Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. — Drew Carey

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can. — Drew Carey

Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label. — Drew Carey

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV! — Drew Carey

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried. — Drew Carey

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are. — Drew Carey

I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites. — Drew Carey

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself. — Drew Carey

I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed. — Drew Carey

If frogs could fly - well, we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat? — Drew Carey

If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator. — Drew Carey

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me. — Drew Carey

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career. — Drew Carey

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them. — Drew Carey

I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs. — Drew Carey

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off. — Drew Carey

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer. — Drew Carey

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it. — Drew Carey

I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet. — Drew Carey

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now. — Drew Carey

I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up. — Drew Carey

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. — Drew Carey

Every election I have to hold my nose to vote. — Drew Carey

The less government, the better — Drew Carey

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. — Drew Carey

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment. — Drew Carey

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck. — Drew Carey

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio. — Drew Carey

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night. — Drew Carey

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie? — Drew Carey

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them. — Drew Carey

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything. — Drew Carey

I'm competitive at everything. — Drew Carey

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes. — Drew Carey

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there. — Drew Carey

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it. — Drew Carey

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again. — Drew Carey

I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody. — Drew Carey

Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane. — Drew Carey

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done. — Drew Carey

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure. — Drew Carey

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun. — Drew Carey

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better. — Drew Carey

I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across. — Drew Carey

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with. — Drew Carey

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know? — Drew Carey

Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight. — Drew Carey

I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day. — Drew Carey

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. — Drew Carey

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are. — Drew Carey

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke. — Drew Carey

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do. — Drew Carey

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot. — Drew Carey

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event. — Drew Carey

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time. — Drew Carey

Libertarians are conservatives who still get high. — Drew Carey

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you. — Drew Carey

The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time. — Drew Carey

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make. — Drew Carey

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face. — Drew Carey

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian. — Drew Carey

Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one. — Drew Carey

I remember when I took a temp job ... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah ... till I die! — Drew Carey

Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer ... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit! — Drew Carey

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. — Drew Carey

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything? — Drew Carey

On other shows when they get to the end of the scene, they yell 'Cut!' On Whose Line, we yell 'That's Enough!' — Drew Carey

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated. — Drew Carey

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get. — Drew Carey

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. — Drew Carey

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. — Drew Carey

I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped. — Drew Carey

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours. — Drew Carey

It sucks being fat, you know. — Drew Carey

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test. — Drew Carey

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job. — Drew Carey

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there. — Drew Carey

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment. — Drew Carey

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60. — Drew Carey

But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do. — Drew Carey

The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours. — Drew Carey

As far as exercising goes ... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging. — Drew Carey

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head. — Drew Carey

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge. — Drew Carey

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.. — Drew Carey

Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible. — Drew Carey

I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better. — Drew Carey

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. — Drew Carey