Devon Monk Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 100 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Devon Monk.
Famous Quotes By Devon Monk
Oh, I was so not a wilting flower. I'd let a man pick me up and carry me because I couldn't handle the price of using magic when I was dead. Again. — Devon Monk
If you are to survive, you need to put your stubbornness aside and listen to me."
"Oh, I just love that idea. — Devon Monk
I wouldn't want you to get in the shower and then pass out or some such. How about if I help you get out of your clothes? I'm an expert in platonic undressings." He gave me that wicked smile. "Give it a rest. I'm not going to strip naked in front of you, and I'd rather pee in private." "Half the injuries in a home happen in the bathroom. What kind of friend would I be to let you face that kind of danger alone? I mean, sure, you walked out of death, but this is a shower." "Shame. Get out of my bathroom. — Devon Monk
Shamus ordered half a cup of house brew. Then he proceeded to fill the cup up the rest of the way with milk and sugar. Lots of sugar.
"Sure you got enough milk in your sugar?" I asked as we strolled out of the shop and headed south.
He flipped me off. "You drink your coffee your way, and I'll drink my coffee the right way. — Devon Monk
Fucking hell." He sighed dramatically. "I hate you, Beckstrom."
"Hold on to that," I said. "You know, because anger will get you there. — Devon Monk
Then Shame raised his voice, obviously talking to me. "Aren't you going to ask why I came by?" I shrugged the shoulder that didn't hurt. "You need a reason to harass Zay?" "Hell no. But I'm not here to talk to Zay. I'm here for you." He strolled across the room toward me. — Devon Monk
We didn't like each other when you were alive," I muttered to my father. "You think living in my head is going to change that? — Devon Monk
My dad told me he knew where to find Zay. Which meant I had to cooperate with him.
...
"Do you see what we have accomplished together? The healing of souls with the magic you carry. We have healed souls in death. With light and dark magic."
"We? No, you stuck your hands in my chest and stole my magic and threw it at them. If you try that again, you won't have hands. Where's Zayvion?"
Okay, maybe I was a little rusty on the whole cooperation thing. — Devon Monk
Trace of Magic caught me up fast and pulled me in tight for a fun, action-and-sass adventure full of deadly magic and dangerous romance. Diana Pharaoh Francis delivers a downright terrific read. — Devon Monk
I promise I'll stay as safe as I can. And since Zay refuses to leave me alone, I figure if things get bad, I can always shove him into the line of fire while I run like hell. — Devon Monk
... Keep your magic to yourself, missy."
"Like I'd want my magic mixing with yours anyway. — Devon Monk
Aspirin? I asked. It came out sounding a lot like ass spoon, but Zayvion seemed fluent in mumbleze. — Devon Monk
Greyson is gone."
A high-pitched ringing started in my ears.
"Dead?" I asked, not at all ashamed at the tiny bit of hope that leaked into my voice.
"No. Escaped. He'll be hunting you."
With that as the option, I liked dead better. — Devon Monk
You owe me money."
"No, I'm pretty sure I won that square."
"You stole it."
"You were drinking maybe a little," Robert suggested.
"You were stealing maybe a little," Abraham said.
"Wasn't I just?" Robert grinned. — Devon Monk
Your friend split you open and nearly bled you out."
"True. But he didn't behead me, which I appreciate."
"That is the lowest bar for friendship I've ever heard of. — Devon Monk
You're a good kid. If you'd work on your pain-in-the-ass tendencies, you'd be real nice."
"Too bad that isn't going to happen anytime soon," he muttered. "Real nice doesn't get you very far."
"Real nice can keep you from getting beat up," I said.
He smiled. "Right. Maybe we should both work on it, then. — Devon Monk
I did win, you know," I said.
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did. I knocked you out."
"Stunned me. I wasn't unconscious."
"Oh, please, save it for the preacher. You were out cold. — Devon Monk
If this was what Mikhail called opening the gate close to Zayvion's body, I was going to kill a compass and a slide rule and send them through the gates of death to him. — Devon Monk
Apparently loved did weird things to a girl's practical decision-making skills - Matilda — Devon Monk
I'd never seen a place so well appointed.
"This is too much," I said. "Much too much. I'd be more comfortable with something less fussy. Like a broom closet."
"All the broom closets are full," he said. "Of brooms. — Devon Monk
Trust the word of a man who thinks beheading is a flesh wound?"
"I didn't say it wouldn't have been inconvenient."
"Death is inconvenient?"
"Being dismembered is inconvenient. I don't know about death. — Devon Monk
I doubted vampire stuff would work on my disembodied father. He might have been a soulless bastard, but he was not an actual vampire. — Devon Monk
Horseshit," Shame said cheerfully. "He can dispossess you and die. Pretty easy, really. Most people die the right way the first time. You'd think a genius like him wouldn't screw it up so badly. — Devon Monk
You told Detective Stotts you think a wild storm is coming." "I thought you were puking." "Not with my ears," he said. — Devon Monk
Are you carrying gold?" I asked sweetly.
He frowned.
"No? Silver? Lead? Copper?" I made big, innocent eyes at him. "A girl out in the brush doesn't need credit chits, Mr. House Gray. What do you have in your pockets that's worth my hospitality?"
One of the Neds coughed, and I realised that could have been taken in a very different manner.
Abraham flashed me a wicked smile.
"Don't flatter yourself," I said before he opened his mouth. — Devon Monk
So, the date was on. I'd tell Zayvion I had a chaperone. Maybe he could help me figure it out. — Devon Monk
Stone and blocks, like butter and bread. — Devon Monk
My mum told me to work hard. Insisted that if I did, I'd make a good life for myself. But all my hard work had gotten me dead, tortured, re-dead, kicked out of heaven, re-alived, and now squatting in the bushes behind a morgue. — Devon Monk
He shoved at me, tried to take control, but I was nothing if not made of stubborn. — Devon Monk
I resisted the urge to pour mouthwash in my brain. — Devon Monk
I glanced up at the trees too.
Dead. Every one of them gray and white, needles rusted, leaves shriveled at the tips of branches. All the life sucked out of them. Not just the trees. All the plants, ferns, grasses and brush were shriveled, brown, barren.
As if a month of winter had set down right here in my driveway and gone on a killing spree.
...
"Love what you've done with the landscape," Cody said. "You could open your own business, you know."
...
"The hell you talking about, Miller?" I asked Cody.
"Yard care. You're poison and weed whacker all in one. You can call it Death to All Shrubbery. — Devon Monk
Shame scowled. "How about I just make you angry again? That coat makes you look fat."
"Even more reason to take the stairs. — Devon Monk
But it was getting pretty hard to grieve someone who wouldn't just get on with the dying. — Devon Monk
Did you see me carrying a shovel? Of course not physically."
"So what did you do, Allie?"
"I touched him. With Magic. Because, you know, grave robbing is so last season. — Devon Monk
My voice rose up and up with each question, even though I didn't want it to. It's called panic. I'm good at it. — Devon Monk
I thought you people had a manual for this kind of thing."
He laughed. "We have a manual. Magic doesn't. — Devon Monk
I think you're possessed."
"Old news."
"Huh. Anyone I know?"
"My dad. It's a family issue I'm working on. — Devon Monk
Shamus shrugged. "It's all about energy exchange. It could always go the other way, me feeding a plant instead of drawing the life out of it."
"Do that often?"
Shamus looked at me over his shoulder. "No."
"Why not? Have something against plants?"
"No, but I haven't met a vegetable good enough to sacrifice a year of my life for. — Devon Monk
But there was something about Nola that negated my bullshit ability. — Devon Monk
Gotta say you Portland people take weird to a new level. — Devon Monk
Don't tell me there are more things like that on the streets."
"Okay," he said. — Devon Monk
Stone growled and stepped toward Dad, fangs bared. That's a good gargoyle. Take a bite out of Daddy for me. — Devon Monk
Don't know about my knives, but my gun's made of pain. — Devon Monk
He trotted down the hallway on all fours and started in on his second favorite pastime, conversations with plumbing. Just what I needed: Stone, the Toilet Whisperer. — Devon Monk
That's crazy-rare."
"And now it's extinct. — Devon Monk
Wow. Why don't you start with authority? Authority of what?' 'Magic.' 'Really. Magic experts? Are there magic lectures? Magic bake sales? Magic bingo night? — Devon Monk
Zayvion and I had an agreement that we were going to give this relationship everything we could. And that included trust, faith, and honesty. Not a single one of which was among my strong points. — Devon Monk
I relaxed my grip. "Say I win."
"I win," he managed. — Devon Monk
Did you refuse to be tested to see if you and he were Soul Complements because you were afraid you might want sex with him?
Yes, I am tactful that way. — Devon Monk
... I noticed you don't have any self-defense training ... "
" ... I can handle myself just fine."
She stared at me for a long, uncomfortable moment. Finally, "In the very short time I've known you, you have been chased, shot, robbed, stabbed, drugged, and attacked by magic."
"I'm still breathing, aren't I? — Devon Monk
Hold up. I'm bait? — Devon Monk
He'd been working for my father and following me around for I didn't know how long. He probably knew a lot of things about me. Probably even knew what kind of underwear I wore.
Which begged the question. Was he a boxer or brief kind of guy? — Devon Monk
And wonders of wonders, they both shut up and did as I said.
If I'd had time I would have pulled out my journal and made a note: Shame and Terric actually listened to me for once. Warn Hell. There's a freeze coming. — Devon Monk
What the hell?" I muttered. Then I realized it was Jack Quinn's car. Jack was a Hound and Bea's boyfriend. The left blinker flashed on for just a second, and then Jack drove at speed again.
"Zayvion, I'm sorry to tell you I think I have a crush on another man."
"Who is this unfortunate and soon-to-be-dead fool?" he asked.
"Jack. That's his car. He must have been waiting for us, or maybe he followed us."
"Jack Quinn has been following us?" Shame said.
"And now he's taking us to Collins, I think."
"Or a trap," Shame said.
"He's a Hound, Shame."
"My statement stands."
"You still don't get it, do you?" I turned left, following the car. "Hounds are loyal. Jack and Bea told me they'd help me if they could. They're not going to turn against me while I'm in trouble."
"What happens when you're not in trouble?" Shame asked.
"Don't know. It's never happened. — Devon Monk
And it's just a hunt?" Bea asked. "Just tracking the guy down, or are we going to have to do a little covering up of our own?"
Had she just told me she was willing to kill someone and cover it up? She gave me a happy smile, but that glint in her eyes told me that, yes, she'd just offered to off someone. — Devon Monk
The Mum has the temper of a demon with a diaper rash. (Shamus) — Devon Monk
Let go of the past, of the things I wanted, of the people I loved, and move forward. — Devon Monk
I was about to meditate like no one had ever meditated before. — Devon Monk
Fucking fuck fuck of a fuck." Shame dug in his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. His hands shook as he lit up.
"Eloquence, thy name is Flynn," Terric said — Devon Monk
Looks like it's game time," Shame said. "Beautiful day for some ass kicking, don't you think? — Devon Monk
He was like an undead boomerang. A zomberang. — Devon Monk
The Focal must hold magic, light and dark, together long enough for it to mend."
"How long does it take to mend?"
"No one's survived long enough for us to know."
I could see why people weren't rushing to volunteer. — Devon Monk
She had that motherly no-bullshit way of using her hands as a second communication device and I always fell for it. — Devon Monk
Listen," I said, cool as a 911 operator talking someone down from a ledge, "you're dead. I'm sorry about that, but I am not going to let you possess me. So follow the light, or go to the other side, or hang around your own house and haunt your accounting ledgers or something. You do not get to stay in my head. — Devon Monk
I felt like I should be wearing a sign that said "damaged" or "failure" or, at least, "injured." But some wounds only scar on the inside. Ryder — Devon Monk
Violet, Kevin, the crowd, and my annoying father would all just have to wait while I ate half that torte and drank half that coffee.
Violet, however, was a multitasker. — Devon Monk
Sometimes it is good to know your limits. Good to know you still have limits. It makes you human. And I wanted to stay that way. Zayvion — Devon Monk
How does the Authority usually handle storms like this?"
"Not well. — Devon Monk
Then they both smiled the exact same smile. Narcissism times two. Oh, get a room already. — Devon Monk
A corner of his mouth quirked up. "I play pool. Shoot hoops sometimes too. Any other sport you're curious about?"
"Hockey? Polo?"
"Simultaneously. Trick is to keep the horses on their skates. — Devon Monk
I cupped my hands over my ears. No, no, no. Get out. Get dead. — Devon Monk
But it is clear to me that our survival - both yours and mine - will be dictated by how well you and I can work together."
"So we're screwed? — Devon Monk
Shamus Flynn stood at the door halfway across the room, a bucket of ice tucked between his arm and chest, and a grin on his face.
"Thank God I got here in time." He tossed another volley our way. "You might have gone up in sex at any minute. — Devon Monk
Is there an option C? Take a vacation somewhere sunny, and drink a lot of rum until the world unfucks itself? — Devon Monk
There was a Dad-shaped emptiness in all of our lives, and I didn't think any of us knew how to fill it yet. — Devon Monk
Do you know the Guardians?" I asked Zay. "Is there some kind of club or yearly get-together where Guardians get drunk, wear funny hats, and compare war stories? — Devon Monk
Hey, rock dude, are you destroying the house? Causing mayhem? Who's a ferocious gargoyle? Stoney's a ferocious gargoyle. — Devon Monk
Abraham had almost kissed me.
And I'd kicked him in the crotch.
That was a promising beginning to a ten-year work relationship. — Devon Monk
Especially those of us who use magic on a regular basis, have to work the wards." "So hes basically blocking members of the Authority?" "Hounds use magic every day. Doctors, teachers." "Point taken. Good to know she's safe from evil magic-using teachers. — Devon Monk
I opened the door as quickly as I could - speedy as a snail in glue. My fine-motor coordination was set on suck mode. — Devon Monk
Since I didn't have a spork handy, I leaned over the sink and scooped up a palmful of cold water and pressed it against my face. There had to be a better option than a violent sporking. There had to be a way to get rid of my dad. — Devon Monk
Okay, that was so far down Creepy Lane that it had intersected with Scaring the Hell Out of Me Avenue. I hated that avenue. — Devon Monk
How many do you see?" Zayvion asked.
"What's more than a swarm?" Shame said.
"A mob?" Terric suggested.
"No, like if a girl mob met a boy mob and then they decided to repopulate the earth with billions of baby mobs, how many is that?"
"Too many." Zay said, "Are we talking thousands?"
There was a pause, then from Shame,"Yes." And that was in his serious voice. — Devon Monk
Don't I know? Not like I haven't done this." He picked up the plant and lugged it with him, muttering, "Stand there, Shamus. Don't bother the new girl, Shamus. Don't back-talk me when I'm teaching, Shamus." Maeve raised her eyebrows. "Don't back-talk me even when I'm not teaching, Shamus," she said. — Devon Monk
Shame wasn't breathing hard, didn't even seem like he'd broken a sweat. He did, however, shove his hands in the pockets of his coat and hunch up his shoulders like he was enduring a hailstorm. I gave him a questioning look. "It's just ... babies." He said it like most people say snakes or spiders or tax collectors. I had no idea what his problem was. "You're afraid of babies?" "Shut up. — Devon Monk
The pillow was heaven feathers in six-hundred-count cotton joy. — Devon Monk
Sunny, whose demeanor was the exact opposite of her name; — Devon Monk
What part of you is dead, my daughter?
I didn't know - my sense of humor maybe? — Devon Monk
The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users. — Devon Monk
It isn't just training that makes a person good with magic." "True. Blind stupidity and a high pain tolerance helps. Still don't think I'm going to be all that useful. — Devon Monk
Matilda?" he said softly as he lowered his head to mine, his eyes shifting to gaze at my lips, then back to my eyes.
He was going to kiss me.
( ... ) "Y-yes?" I breathed.
His lips were almost on mine. His body bent over me, closer, closer. I thought I'd burst for want.
I held my breath and closed my eyes.
His fingers squeezed the back of my neck, gentle and possessive.
"If you make me late," he murmured, his breath warm across my mouth, "I will throttle you."
Wait. What?
My eyes snapped open.
( ... ) By the time I pulled my thoughts together, he was already out the door. His voice floated back to me. "Move, Matilda. We're late."
That was it? No kiss? What was wrong with that man? He was sending off more mixed signals than a three-armed traffic cop. — Devon Monk
My feet hurt, my back hurt, and I really needed to pee. Yeah, I was feeling really powerful. — Devon Monk
Or, if you don't like the buildings, you can head to FOrest Park. That place is so big, they'd never find you in there. Just think of it: you could start up some big foot sightings. — Devon Monk
If you need us, for anything, never forget we are here for you. All of us. You have done amazing things to make this world a better place."
That was really sweet. And sincere. And if I didn't look away from his kind expression, I was just going to cry like a little girl.
"Wait until you see my encore," I said. — Devon Monk
You prefer the bed on the opposite wall?"
"I prefer the bookshelf in the lower left corner of the room, and the ceiling fan not to be hanging over my head while I sleep."
"OCD?"
"Feng shui."
"Is it contagious?"
"Hardly anyone gets it. — Devon Monk