David Feherty Quotes & Sayings

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then? — David Feherty

Hurling looks a bit like a cross between lacrosse and second degree murder. — David Feherty

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice. — David Feherty

Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago. — David Feherty

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy. — David Feherty

I don't want anybody to understand what my depression feels like because in order to understand it you have to have been there, and I don't want anybody else to go. — David Feherty

Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face. — David Feherty

Being bipolar and an addict and an alcoholic I have to keep myself very busy. I don't sleep. I am lucky if I get three hours of sleep a night, and so I get up, and my head is full of slamming doors. — David Feherty

When I was a wee lad, Uncle Dickie sat me on his knee, and regaled me with stories about the genesis of a game that involved trying to jam a ball into a hole in the ground with a stick, — David Feherty

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife. — David Feherty

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted. — David Feherty

Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad
ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear. — David Feherty

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them. — David Feherty

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable. — David Feherty

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it. — David Feherty

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration. — David Feherty

I have got to do something that makes me focus on one thing, and so I will sit and listen to music, or I will read, or I will go and make ammunition in my workshop. I have just got to keep myself busy. — David Feherty

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers. — David Feherty

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more. — David Feherty

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff. — David Feherty

I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you. — David Feherty

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler. — David Feherty

That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet. — David Feherty