Dav Pilkey Quotes & Sayings

Being an author is fun. It's a great job, because I can stay up as late as I want, and if I feel like taking the day off, I do it. Plus, I get to make up silly stories and draw pictures all day. — Dav Pilkey

What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network. — Dav Pilkey

Encourage kids to be creative without worrying about being perfect. — Dav Pilkey

two wrongs dont make a right — Dav Pilkey

God bless the rain, and the storm clouds that bring it.
God bless the music, and the voices that sing it.
God bless the ones who sing everything wrong.
God bless the creatures who do not belong.
God bless the hearts and the souls who are grieving
For those who have left, and for those who are leaving.
God bless each perishing body and mind,
God bless all creatures remaining behind.
God bless the dreamers whose dreams have awoken.
God bless the lovers whose hearts have been broken.
God bless each soul that is tortured and taunted,
God bless all creatures alone and unwanted. — Dav Pilkey

Try to remember that being unsuccessful in school doesn't automatically mean you'll be unsuccessful in life. Lots of people who didn't excel in school still went on to have successful lives. — Dav Pilkey

Once I have the story in my head, I write it down. The illustrations usually come last. — Dav Pilkey

It used to take me forever to read and comprehend stuff, so I decided not to make the 'Captain Underpants' books too challenging. Don't get me wrong - the humor and ideas are often sophisticated - but the books aren't hard to read. I wanted kids who hate reading to find these books irresistible. — Dav Pilkey

Another piece of Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 ended up landing in a grape vineyard on planet Pinot. The Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 was quickly absorbed into the soil and was subsequently soaked up into the grapes. These grapes, which had until recently been harvested almost to extinction, suddenly became self-aware and super intelligent. They banded together in bunches and rose up to defeat their oppressors. The battle lasted one whole night, but sadly, it ended the next morning when the sun came up. The rebellion shriveled when the poor grapes ran out of juice. Apparently there's a raisin for everything. — Dav Pilkey

George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible. — Dav Pilkey

You may have even commented on the surprising inappropriateness of such a murderous and bloody scene appearing in a children's book. It's fun to feel offended, isn't it? — Dav Pilkey

Most kids are smarter than most grown-ups. Kids see the world in black and white ... They look through all the garbage and see a world run by fools and dullards and lazy people. And there's nothing they can do about it because they have no power. — Dav Pilkey

Twas the day before Thanksgiving
And all through the trees,
The fall leaves were spinning
Aloft in the breeze.

Eight children had boarded
Their school bus with grins
In hopes that a field trip
Soon would begin.

They sang as they rode
Through autumn terrains,
While visions of drumsticks
Danced in their brains. — Dav Pilkey

Nothing prevents boredom like a good book. — Dav Pilkey

Grown-ups do a lot of complaining! — Dav Pilkey

Gee, that worked out pretty good," said Harold. "...I guess everything worked out perfectly!"
"Yeah, nice going," said George, looking a bit annoyed. "Why do you have to say things like that?"
"Things like what?" asked Harold.
"Haven't you been paying attention in these stories?" asked George. "Every time somebody says something like that, it always means that a buncha bad stuff is just about to happen."
"But what could possibly go wrong now?" asked Harold.
"FREEZE!" shouted the Chief of Police. "You guys are under arrest! — Dav Pilkey

I had a lot of reading problems growing up. — Dav Pilkey

I created 'Captain Underpants' when I was in the second grade. I was constantly getting in trouble for being the class clown, so my teacher sent me out into the hallway to punish me. It was there in the hall that I began drawing 'Captain Underpants'. Soon I was making my own comic books about him. — Dav Pilkey

I read a lot this week but my favorite character that does not appears very much but has a nig part is mr.krupp he is a mad and old principal that treats bad george and harold if he would not had appeard in the book it wouldn't had too much fun the book but with him it is a good book and cool to read.my favorite part when mr.krupp appeared was when george and harold made a joke on the cafeteria ladies and all the school turned green and sticky.
my book is captain underpants
By dav pilkey — Dav Pilkey

I think every character I've ever come up with has been based on someone or something I've known. — Dav Pilkey

My freshman English professor at Kent State University in 1984 told me I was a good writer, and she loved all the silly pictures I drew in my notebook. She said I should try writing children's books, and so I did. — Dav Pilkey

I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. — Dav Pilkey

My books are just pure escapism for kids. — Dav Pilkey

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk, and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up.
It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do.
But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immeadiately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are now considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes.
One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). — Dav Pilkey

O'er rivers, through woods,
With winding and weaves,
Their school bus sailed on
Through the new-fallen leaves.

When out on the road
There arose such a clatter,
They threw down their windows
To see what was the matter.

When what with their wondering eyes
Should they see,
But a miniature farm
And eight tiny turkey.

And a little old man
So lively and rugged,
They knew in a moment
It was Farmer Mack Nuggett.

He was dressed all in denim
From his head to his toe,
With a pinch of polyester
And a dash of Velcro.

And then in a twinkling
They heard in the straw
The prancing and pawing
Of each little claw.

More rapid than chickens
His cockerels they came.
He whistled and shouted
And called them by name:

"Now Ollie, now Stanley, now Larry and Moe,
On Wally, on Beaver, on Shemp and Groucho! — Dav Pilkey

These 'mistakes' occur in my books for a reason. I have an agenda: I'm secretly trying to inspire kids to create their own stories and comics, and I don't want them to feel stifled by 'perfectionism.' — Dav Pilkey

Have you read your UNDERPANTS today? — Dav Pilkey

A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you kinda get the feeling that something is missing. — Dav Pilkey

My goal with The Adventures of Captain Underpants was to invent a style which was almost identical to that of a picture book - in a novel format. So I wrote incredibly short chapters and tried to fill each page with more pictures than words. I wanted to create a book that kids who don't like to read would want to read. — Dav Pilkey