Dan Gutman Quotes & Sayings

A lot of people seem nice when you first meet them. Then later you find out that they are evil villains who plan to take over the world. — Dan Gutman

When the blood rushes to my head, it helps me think. Well, I know that blood rushing to your head doesn't help you grow hair, because Mr. Klutz had no hair on his head at all. He was bald as a balloon. — Dan Gutman

Baseball freely admits that the sport
like civilized society
is crawling with bums. — Dan Gutman

Alan Shepard was the first and only interplanetary golfer," Coke told his sister. "He was also the first and only interplanetary litterbug," Moe said. "What he did was disgraceful. — Dan Gutman

In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat. — Dan Gutman

Fizz Ed is gym class, — Dan Gutman

The way your life plays out depends on which dominoes you chose to push over and which ones you leave alone. — Dan Gutman

Footnote:
"With all due respect" is grown-up talk for "I think you're stupid. — Dan Gutman

They say there is no 'free lunch' in life. But there are free books! I still can't believe I can go to my local library and get just abut any book in the world - and I don't have to pay a dime!! It's amazing! The library is truly the greatest invention of our civilization. — Dan Gutman

No matter what ya do to help somebody, it'll hurt somebody else. — Dan Gutman

If you're going to break the rules, you might as well break them correctly. — Dan Gutman

Every bad thing that happens in the world is good for somebody. — Dan Gutman

I don't want to be a chicken. I don't want to be a duck. So I shake my butt. — Dan Gutman

Do stupid stuff and even stupider suff will happen to you. — Dan Gutman

Sometimes we spend so much time and energy thinking about where we want to go that we don't notice where we happen to be. — Dan Gutman

If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager — Dan Gutman

Thats the first rule of being a kid — Dan Gutman

Feel the flowing life energy." "Yesssssssssssssss ... " "Can you see the universe unfolding in your mind?" Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz — Dan Gutman

Hey soda girl. You're flat. — Dan Gutman

ASSUME is to make an ASS of U and ME. — Dan Gutman

Naaaaaaayyyyy," said Pootie. "Milk comes out of goats?" I asked. "I thought milk came out of cows." "It comes out of goats, too, Arlo," said Andrea. Little Miss Know-It-All was proud of herself because she knew something I didn't know. I hate her. "See, we learned something already," said Mrs. Lizzy. "Goats — Dan Gutman

You wanna grow up to be a trivia question?" she asked, challenging me. "Or do you wanna make a difference in the world? — Dan Gutman