D. L. Hughley Quotes & Sayings

There is always one person in the office that you want to whip their ass! If you don't know who it is, it is probably you. — D. L. Hughley

Everybody wants to be great at something. — D. L. Hughley

Black folks never bungie jump. That's too much like lynching for us. I'm gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind. — D. L. Hughley

I think politics in general are just like a popularity contest but McCain is just ... old. — D. L. Hughley

I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me. — D. L. Hughley

I'd pick a young white guy over an old white guy for president anytime because the younger guy is more likely to have been influenced by the great social changes of the '60s and '70s. — D. L. Hughley

With a cigar like in life, you got to have some length, and some girth. — D. L. Hughley

The one thing women love more than money is power. — D. L. Hughley

There's something about having a great bottle of wine and a great cigar. Nothing compares to it. — D. L. Hughley

I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it. — D. L. Hughley

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? Maybe I did kill them people. — D. L. Hughley

They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain't black folk, I don't know what is. — D. L. Hughley

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh. — D. L. Hughley

They had this movie called Juno about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and it's nominated for an Oscar. That's an unusual experience for me, 'cause when a black girl gets pregnant it ain't no Oscar. It's social work and a box of condoms is what that is. — D. L. Hughley

Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human. — D. L. Hughley