Craig Schaefer Quotes & Sayings

My guys saw you on Fremont last week, Dan. You know what they saw you doing?" "Their mothers?" I replied. "Funny," he said and turned back to Juliette. — Craig Schaefer

My first escape attempt had been a disaster and this one was likely to land me in an unmarked grave, but the situation wasn't all bad. At least I was able to cross one thing off my bucket list. You know all those movies where the bad guy gets captured, but it turns out that was the key to his master plan all along? Not gonna lie. I'd always wanted to do that. — Craig Schaefer

I realize you're a politician, so this is a new concept for you. 'Cooperating' means actually doing what you're supposed to, not just saying you will and then weaseling out. — Craig Schaefer

A couple strolled by behind my chair. For a moment, they got between us and the closest light, casting Freddie in a patch of shadow. As the light peeled away, so did the facade. A desiccated corpse reclined on the divan, with skin turned blue and chapped by arctic windburn. The corpse grinned at me from a lipless mouth, showing sharp yellowed teeth. Her nose and most of one cheek had rotted away, the ragged wounds black with frostbite, and iron talons three inches long curled around the stem of her martini glass. Then the light flooded back and the moment was gone. Freddie must have caught the look on my face. She smiled and gave me a wink. — Craig Schaefer

Everyone," Caitlin said, cradling her wine glass, "is the hero of his own story. That goes double for fanatics. Some of the greatest horrors in history were perpetrated by people who insisted, all the way to damnation's door, that they fought on the side of the angels. — Craig Schaefer

The key to walking around places where you're not supposed to be is to look like you're too important to be interrupted. Most people are non-confrontational by nature, and if you give them a good reason not to challenge you, they won't. I — Craig Schaefer

I glanced over at them. "Clark? That's your name? I was calling you the Missionary all this time." He flashed his perfect white teeth. "Gosh, thanks, buddy! That's quite the bold moniker, and don't think I don't appreciate - " "Now shut the fuck up," I said. "Both of you. Grown-ups are talking." "Who are you?" Angus said. — Craig Schaefer

I chuckled. "Yeah, okay." He relaxed, sinking back in his chair, mirroring my smile. "But you know the old saying," I told him. His brow furrowed. "What old saying?" "Two people can keep a secret," I said, "if one of them is dead." He barely had time for the shock to register on his face as I grabbed his wrist and yanked up his right hand. I pressed the muzzle to his temple and his hand to the barrel. "No," he gasped, just before I pulled the trigger and painted his desk cherry red. — Craig Schaefer

I explained Crime 101 to the kid. "Guns escalate things. They're only good for crowd control. We're going in after closing hours, so we don't need crowd control." "Yeah," Augie said, "but what about security? What if they start bustin' caps?" Bustin' caps. I wondered how many hip-hop posters he had on his bedroom wall. "Site's handled by Gold Star Security Northwest," I explained. "They don't carry guns, just Tasers and pepper spray. They also make thirteen bucks an hour, and heroics are highly discouraged in their training manual. Their standing orders in case of a burglary are to retreat to safe ground and call the real cops. That gives us plenty of time to bug out if we get spotted and blow it." "Cool," Augie said. — Craig Schaefer

it's about doing what you can, whenever you can, to stand up for what you believe. You fight and you never, ever give up. That's what makes a man. — Craig Schaefer

Honor," she said, "is the coin that stays in your pocket when all your silver has been spent. — Craig Schaefer

Shape-shifter?" he snorted. "No such thing." I leaned back on his couch and tilted my head at him. "Gary?" I said. "You've got demon blood. You know I'm a sorcerer and that magic is real. Are you really gonna take the 'no such thing' angle with me?" He glanced down, biting his lip. "Yeah, okay," he said. "Fair point. — Craig Schaefer

In my experience, the handoff was the most dangerous part of a deal. If your client decided to pay you in bullets instead of cash, this was where it would go down. — Craig Schaefer

Only problem with the whole scheme, really, is that Lauren's about to blow up the planet. See, that's the part you aren't in on. The thing in the Box? It's an angel. And it's really old and really pissed off." "You're bluffing," Nicky said. "Are we?" Caitlin shrugged. "We're keeping things under wraps to avoid a panic, but a full report's been delivered to the prince and his inner council. A council which, last time I checked, includes your father. Why don't you get in touch with him? Ask him who Belephaia is." He looked from her to me and back again, resting his hand on his desk phone. His brow furrowed as he worked out the implications. — Craig Schaefer

Joining Vigilant was a one-way door, an express elevator with only one button: down. — Craig Schaefer

She called herself Mater Tantibus." I scraped the rust off my Latin. "Mother of Nightmares?" "Pretentious, right?" Said the Grand Matriarch of the House of Dead Roses, I thought, but I was smart enough not to say that out loud. — Craig Schaefer

If the world is full of monsters, someone has to be keeping us safe. Someone has to be fighting for us out there. — Craig Schaefer

Most confidence games depend on the mark not knowing they're being conned. The Kansas City Shuffle depends on the mark knowing it. Not only do they have to see you coming, they have to figure out your entire plan before it happens." "Problem being," Corman said, "they're working to stop the wrong con. You get 'em looking left, while you rob 'em blind on the right." "We can't take the coin out of the building," I said, "but Royce can. So let's give him a reason to do it. — Craig Schaefer

The C-4 really did look like a stick of butter, neatly wrapped in brown paper. So did the next brick she took from her trunk. And the next. "How much did you get?" I asked. She shrugged with a smile. "I called in some favors. Figured we might as well go all out on the shock and awe. — Craig Schaefer

All right," I said. "Let's show these Seattle assholes how we do things in Vegas. Jennifer?" She held up the detonator. I nodded. "Light 'em up!" 41. One click of the detonator, so fast her fingers blurred, and the alley erupted in a blast of crumpled metal and flame. — Craig Schaefer

The original games were gladiatorial fights to the death. We had to revise that after a few years because, well, people stopped signing up. — Craig Schaefer

I will try to contact Caine," he said, "but I can't guarantee - " "That's it, hanging up. See ya in hell, Alton." "Wait! Wait, wait, wait! I'll do it. I'll call Caine right now and give the order." He fell silent for a moment, and I listened to his ragged breath. "You son of a bitch. If those soldiers die because of this, it's on your head. — Craig Schaefer

Can't you get flowers from the evil flower shop?" "Yes," I whispered, "but then they'd be evil flowers. C'mon, Bentley, try to keep up." "You know that charming tic, Daniel, where you start making jokes in a dangerous situation, and we all pretend we don't know you're doing it in order to cover up how nervous you are?" "What about it?" I asked. "I was just asking if you were aware of it." "Nope," I said. — Craig Schaefer

Adrenaline after a gunfight's like a coked-up rock star in an expensive hotel room. It doesn't leave until it trashes the place. — Craig Schaefer

Well hello," Caitlin said, eyeing the shepherd. "The last time I saw you, you were wearing your heart on your sleeve. Because I ripped it out and put it there. — Craig Schaefer

Cait," I called over, "how much is this going to cost?" Sudden silence. Every eye in the room fell upon me, cold as winter ice. "Right," I said, holding up a hand. "I'm just gonna maybe shut up now. — Craig Schaefer

Seems to me you've got two choices: one, you can get in a gunfight with the United States government - because that always ends well - or you can run downstairs, get as many of your boys out through the emergency exits as you can, and order the rest to surrender. Your call, but bail money's a lot cheaper than a tombstone. — Craig Schaefer

I am a patriot. That means I owe my loyalty to the armies I swore to lead and the citizens I swore to protect. I am loyal to the crown and what it means. Not to the fool wearing it. — Craig Schaefer

I've always felt that the mark of a man is his willingness to fight for his principles. It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It doesn't matter if you ever had a chance to win in the first place. Even if the deck is rigged and the game's against you, you keep fighting until the bitter end. — Craig Schaefer

You're playing solitaire with no aces in the deck, and you can't figure out why you never win. — Craig Schaefer

Cook yourself some bacon or something." "Pfft. Rather have the beer." "Not while I'm standing here," I said. "You're underage." She puffed air up against her fallen bangs, making them flutter. "Aren't you, like, a thief or something?" "Or something, sometimes." "But you won't let me have a beer," she said. "Nope. A man's got to have standards." Melanie pulled a sealed package of turkey bacon out of the fridge and reached for a frying pan. "Ooh," she said sarcastically, "the code of the criminal underworld, just like in the movies. Like you won't shoot women or kids, right?" I shrugged. "I try not to shoot anybody if I can help it. If I'm put in a position where I have to, though, their gender or their age doesn't have a whole lot to do with it." "And let me guess, you never steal from your boss?" "Depends." "Depends?" she said. "On how much of an asshole he is." "That happen a lot?" "Working for assholes?" I said. "You have no idea." She laughed. — Craig Schaefer

Unfortunately," Jessie said, "he caught a terminal case of death. — Craig Schaefer

It's like a Charles Dickens orphanage collided with a furniture-store showroom. — Craig Schaefer

And, uh, could I borrow somebody's car? Mine's impounded and I can't reclaim it because I'm kinda legally dead right now. — Craig Schaefer

Have you ever considered, for even a moment, the list of things I'm not allowed to do because some bitter old men say so? I can't lead a mass, can't earn the greens of a priest, let alone claim my birthright. My entire life, from the cradle to the grave, is dictated by 'traditions' and rules that you aren't subject to. My power was taken away from me the moment I was born a woman. So no, you do not get to give me permission to cry!" "I'm — Craig Schaefer

A fresh bottle of Jack waited on the end table, but for the first time in weeks I didn't feel the need to pour a nightcap. The music was better. — Craig Schaefer

The machinery joining the vats was a nightmare jumble of pipes and flanges. Since you couldn't really hire a professional plumber to set up your deathtraps, some clever techie on Angus Caine's payroll must have done it himself with whatever parts he had on hand. — Craig Schaefer

When you're part of an illegal government conspiracy, your actual job description gets hazy. [...] If you're working off the books, but the books don't officially exist in the first place, have you really gone rogue, or are you just putting in unpaid overtime? — Craig Schaefer

It's never good to owe money to a guy with a cellar full of military hardware. Especially not when he rides with an outlaw biker gang. — Craig Schaefer

You can tell someone to stop saying nasty things about your best friend a hundred times," she mused over a forkful of pasta. "But you only have to rip their tongue out once. — Craig Schaefer

The pink sun tumbled from the sky like a shooting star, turning day to night in the space of a trembling breath. What rose in its place was a moon made of rotting meat, its vast surface pitted with crawling black mold, glowing in a starless sky. — Craig Schaefer

She arched an eyebrow. "You already know?" "I stole his soul, lost his soul, exorcised his soul from another person's body, stuffed him in a bottle, pulled a short con, and now the Choir thinks I'm Gilles de Rais." Pixie just stared at me. She rested her palms on the tabletop. "You have got," she said, "to do a better job of keeping me in the loop." "It's been a really busy couple of days. — Craig Schaefer

At a distance, they looked just boring enough to be important. — Craig Schaefer

Besides, as a patriotic citizen, I have serious issues with shadowy government conspiracies." "Jess, we are a shadowy govern - " "Ones that aren't mine," she said. "God, do I really need to qualify that? Some things should be obvious. — Craig Schaefer

You killed a buddy of mine, back at the shelter." "Yeah? What about the other three guys I killed? You didn't like them as much?" That shut him up, at least. The elevator door whispered open. Jennifer and I stepped into the cage, bathed in cherry light. The merc leaned in, swiped his keycard, and hit the button for the penthouse floor. "Bon voyage, asshole," he said — Craig Schaefer

Whatever the Garden had once been, now it was seething with corruption. Abundant life. It makes me laugh, in retrospect. Mr. Faust, did you know that there's a medical term for abundant life? For cellular life bursting out of control and running wild. — Craig Schaefer

All the danger, none of the reward. — Craig Schaefer

Whatever you did, man, you laid her to rest." I didn't lay Stacy's soul to rest. I sent her to hell. It wasn't my finest hour. — Craig Schaefer

I could see the sorrow in her eyes as she gently brushed his hair aside and kissed his brow. Then she snapped his neck. Ben's corpse tumbled to the floor. Emma sank to her knees beside him, mute. She brushed her fingertips along his lifeless arm. If this was an action movie, that would have been her cue to say something badass. But this wasn't a movie. It was just a stupid dead man and a grieving widow and a gulf of pain I couldn't imagine. — Craig Schaefer

She has a habit of downplaying trouble. I don't suppose she told you about Tony Vance or Sheldon Kaufman? They were a couple of sorcerers in her last crew." Angus shook his head. "Not a word. What happened to 'em?" "I did. — Craig Schaefer

It looked like a cutoff valve. Assuming I had any idea what I was looking at. Assuming it would work. Assuming the whole rig wasn't an elaborate fail-safe, a trap that would start the killing rain as soon as I turned the wheel. That was a hell of a lot of maybes. — Craig Schaefer

She had personal details about my relationships that only my close friends should have known. "So you've got a stalker," I said to my reflection in the rearview mirror. "And she eats people. Great. — Craig Schaefer

Good. I need to arm up. All I've got is a gun with four bullets, and it's a really embarrassing gun. — Craig Schaefer

shot or worse. I needed a plan. So nobody had ever successfully escaped from Eisenberg Correctional. I was willing to bet they'd never had a prisoner like me, but then again, that was probably what every other would-be escapee thought before he ate a bullet. — Craig Schaefer

The cellar itself? Not shown. Probably wanna check that out." "The cellar," I said. "Great. Because nothing bad ever happens in the cellars of creepy old houses. — Craig Schaefer

I promised Coop two things before he died," I said. "One, I'd get his cut of the score to his wife. Two, I'd send Stanwyck to hell where he belongs. I'm keeping those promises." "The latter," Caitlin said dryly, running a sharp red fingernail down her menu as she read it over, "can be arranged, with pleasure." "I'm in," Pixie said. "Let's kill him." The table fell quiet. — Craig Schaefer

Monsters always prey on the people who've already been beaten down. — Craig Schaefer