Courtney C. Stevens Quotes & Sayings

I know your story.
Got one of my own.
Yeah, I know lonely and alone.
Happen in a crowd, happen in a kiss.
But I know how to change all this. — Courtney C. Stevens

Vibrant eyes, chocolate brown, kind. The mosaic of Bodee Lennox. — Courtney C. Stevens

Happiness was getting stuck with someone and never feeling stuck. — Courtney C. Stevens

He's opening a door, but he already knows I won't walk through. The power of Bodee is in the way he reads me, sees through me, and then understands the truth behind the facade. He's the guy who can walk straight through the House of Mirrors on the first try. It's almost annoying. No one should ride tragedy like a pro surfer while I drown. — Courtney C. Stevens

We wrecked more than the car. — Courtney C. Stevens

Alone.
Before this crowd.
Alone, in this terrible dream.
Who am I in this visible silence?
Can they hear me scream? — Courtney C. Stevens

Black funeral dress. Black heels. Black headband in my hair. Death has a style all it's own. I'm glad I don't have to wear it very often. — Courtney C. Stevens

Bravery comes one day at a time. — Courtney C. Stevens

It's been a year. It's been a really hard year without you. Losing you felt like jumping off the bridge and forgetting which way was up. I don't think I'll ever be over it, but I'm starting to find my way through it. Mom said when a person dies, you don't get over it by forgetting; you get through it by remembering. I've been remembering everything lately. — Courtney C. Stevens

Because Bodee pulls back when other guys his age rush forward. Because his two fingers on my hips while we're dancing and swaying to slow songs don't threaten me. — Courtney C. Stevens

He doesn't talk. Except to me. Doesn't smile. Except for me. Doesn't go to dances. Except for me. This is the refrain of our song. He's different with me, and yet I know this is the real Bodee. He's not pretending anymore. — Courtney C. Stevens

Love in pencil is safer than love in life. — Courtney C. Stevens

It started with the crash. I held on to all these emotions and truths that I should have expressed, but I didn't know how to say what I needed to say. I thought that would ruin us. Well, silence ruined us too. — Courtney C. Stevens

Posse ad ease --from possibility to actuality — Courtney C. Stevens

Sometimes a hand is an anchor. His held me to the world. — Courtney C. Stevens

Imagination was a gift I kept in my front pocket. — Courtney C. Stevens

I'd like to hold you in the mountains, like to kiss you by the sea. Take you far, far from here to a place where you feel free. Cause we are safe, we are true, we are going to make it through. Crashing worlds, falling stars, breaking all of who we are- I want infinity with you. — Courtney C. Stevens

I love this about her. That she is like me. Emotional, and embarrassed about being emotional. I — Courtney C. Stevens

All in all. You have been. Redeemer. Pain Steeler. My best friend. Please hold my hand. — Courtney C. Stevens

Forgiveness (n.) releasing the toxins of bitterness. — Courtney C. Stevens

Right now we're both yard sales of emotions. A penny for pain. A dime for bitterness. A quarter for grief. A dollar for silence. It binds us together, but I don't want him to pay the price for the parts of me that are used and broken. — Courtney C. Stevens

Lex, this'll sound weird, but when I was a kid I believed in monsters. You know, like vampires. Werewolves. Ghosts. And I believed in them because I knew at least one other monster existed. He wore a shirt with his name stitched across the pocket. And carried a fifth for a weapon. — Courtney C. Stevens

Dance to forget yourself.
Dance to forgive
Let your body and your mind agree
If only for this breathe right now
Dance like you're free — Courtney C. Stevens

Sometimes the journey to let someone love you is the journey to loving yourself. — Courtney C. Stevens

I'll make you a promise, Bodee. Long as you're with my family, you won't run out of Kool-Aid." "And I promise you, I'll stop whoever's hurting you ... even if it's you. — Courtney C. Stevens

Every song deserves lyrics. Deserves a story to tell. — Courtney C. Stevens

No one talked about the questions, because talking ruined plausible deniability. Talking burst the bubble of innocence. Talking ended the happily ever after. These were the truths they believed. And they were lies. They should have talked while there was still something to say. — Courtney C. Stevens

But today is better than yesterday. And this hurt is still a hole in me, but it's a shrinking hole. — Courtney C. Stevens

So Bodee is a friend, I say firmly, a best friend. My honesty with the girl surprises me. But Bodee is right where I love him, in the room down the hall up the stairs from mine. Dinner instead of a dinner date. A hand to hold instead of lips to kiss. He's my fort, my sanctuary. And I won't do anything to jeopardize this. — Courtney C. Stevens

Don't you ever touch her again," Bodee says. There must be muscles in his arms where before I thought there was only T-shirt. But it's not those muscles that pin Hayden against the ground: it's the white-hot fury that's as visible as Hayden's grimace. — Courtney C. Stevens

Your hurt is not an excuse to take.
Your loneliness is not an excuse to cheat.
Your desire is not a reason to rape.
You raped me, and now, I'm going to rape you. — Courtney C. Stevens

And more than that, Bodee left me with hope. For love. For wanting someone to touch me again and to lie with me without fear as my first response. Because Bodee slept in his sneakers, because Bodee asked for a kiss instead of just taking it, and because he kept space between us. He danced with two fingers until I asked for three or four ... and his hand on my hip.
I know we're both still broken. Both of us. But Bodee's got the glue to make us whole.
He is love. — Courtney C. Stevens

What are the stars telling you?" I asked.
Max pushed up on his elbows and pretended to strain his ear toward the sky. "They say...They say...you're allowed to forgive yourself."
I rolled sideways...and he did the same.
"For what?" I asked.
"Living."
"I'm not very good at that," I admitted.
"Well, you kissed someone without flinching. Maybe you're getting better."
"Maybe it's just you."
He didn't argue. — Courtney C. Stevens

I won't let anyone hurt you."
If a heart can smile, mine does.
"Bodee, thanks," I say, though I know he doesn't need it. "I'm sorry you lost her."
"At least I found you," he says. — Courtney C. Stevens

If he were to put his heart in my hand, he might never find it again. And I'm not cruel enough to let him break while he tries to heal the impossible. — Courtney C. Stevens

Nature, at its strongest, shaved off mountaintops or threw houses into the air, but it couldn't was away pain. Everything had limitations. — Courtney C. Stevens

This morning the secret has claws. And it's climbing the walls of my stomach, twisting my gut, quivering and rolling and burning. Red-hot acid in the back of my throat. Ready to explode. — Courtney C. Stevens

Maybe forgiveness was giving the past less power to hurt me. Or even building new memories that were stronger than the painful ones. — Courtney C. Stevens

Everyone hurts us. If we stopped loving them because of pain, we'd never love anyone. — Courtney C. Stevens

Whenever I'm with Bodee, it feels as if I'm made of glass. Mascara, blush, and fake smiles never fool him. Maybe it comes from years seeing his mother hide her fears from the world. But I'm not ready to share. — Courtney C. Stevens

I know these two weeks have been God walking right into my life like he has flesh and Kool-Aid coloured hair. The gospel according to Bodee Lennox. His safety. His protection. And love. — Courtney C. Stevens

If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. You want change, make some. — Courtney C. Stevens

One corner of Bodee's mouth moves. There's neither a smile nor a frown on his face, but I understand. Without words, he's telling me not to worry. He'll make certain I get home safely tonight. — Courtney C. Stevens

If you weren't there, and I weren't here ... If I weren't me ... but you were still you, I would be interested in letting you like-like me. — Courtney C. Stevens

There's an art to crying without a sound, and I'm a master. But — Courtney C. Stevens

I feel myself shutting down, closing off, like I should tell people, No, we don't use this heart anymore. It's too fragile. — Courtney C. Stevens

It's as if he wants me to say he could have stopped his dad, so he's handing me a whip to beat him. But I won't, because I'm glad he hid. Glad he's beside me instead of six feet under. — Courtney C. Stevens

Funny how people value eyes, when really, their colors are super limited. I doubt anyone would enjoy a new box of crayons if they came only in eye-color shades. — Courtney C. Stevens