Cole Alpaugh Quotes & Sayings

Grandpa said that we could solve a lot of the world's problems if we considered cats and dogs edible. Like the neighbor's dog who goes to the bathroom in his flower garden. And know what else? — Cole Alpaugh

Bearing witness from the sides of the room, ten or more lepers shouted at the bizarre scene, "Diable! Diable!" And then chants of some sort, or prayers, followed by more shouts of "Diable!" They were hurling these words at Moreau like stones. — Cole Alpaugh

I believe a family just isn't complete without skeletons. My dearest momma clean bit off my daddy's nose right around the time they divorced. — Cole Alpaugh

The two smallest boys were cut down first, bodies bounding in different directions as they were shot from opposite sides of the field, like pinballs caught in a tight corner. — Cole Alpaugh

Kids never jumped head first from the top ledge. Never. It seemed forever before
Stoney came back to the surface. Most of the white bubbles had already disappeared. — Cole Alpaugh

Taking a couple short backup swigs, Flint's crippling headache started to release its grip, sort of the way he imagined an octopus would release an inedible bowling ball. — Cole Alpaugh

And there was nothing quite like the surprise attack of a snarling black bear, even one missing all forty-two teeth, to urge someone back to work. Waking up with several hundred mud-encrusted, reeking pounds on top of you - your neck suffering a hickey of epic proportions - just pushed the limits on what was tolerable. — Cole Alpaugh

Shit, man, if you see a dog scratching at the dirt trying to dig something up, walk away real fast, he said, then pulled a little square of paper from his pocket and swallowed whatever was folded inside. — Cole Alpaugh

Whenever I'd get howlin' over something, he'd grab my ass up from wherever I was and head straight for the john. Momma said my head would get banged up along the way, but she said it
was probably bein' dunked under water that made me stupid. — Cole Alpaugh

It was a year ago today your daughter went missing.' Bagg had closed his eyes, feeling the death going on inside. — Cole Alpaugh

Gracie leaned out the back, craning her neck as far as she could around the side, trying to catch the wind in her nose and flapping lips. She loved driving, and this car was much faster than the truck which hauled her cage. It was very green here, and the sun flashed and flickered behind the tall trees. There were a million smells along this road, both old and just born. She closed her eyes and huffed, pretending she was flying. — Cole Alpaugh

Limp finally spoke. Do you think you could kill a person and not get all crazy about it? — Cole Alpaugh

Noriega wound up like a baseball pitcher on top of the bed and hurled the small gun, but was low and outside for a ball. His tight-fitting house dress was bunched up high on his chubby thighs, exposing olive drab underwear.
I see London, I see France, I see a crazy dictator's underpants!
Chase's thoughts raced. — Cole Alpaugh

And in a land accustomed to so much anguish, Chase tried to be careful with words. His soccer moms began assigning
nicknames during the first day of official practice: Difom, Kakas, Kochma, and Maldyok, which roughly translated to Deformed, Carcass, Nightmare, and Bad Eye.
He made a new rule regarding nicknames. — Cole Alpaugh

The monkey liked most humans. They left food cans outside their homes for his family to rummage through in the morning
sun. Some yelled and threw sticks, but were slow and didn't bite. Humans were mostly harmless. — Cole Alpaugh