Christopher Fowler Quotes & Sayings

They'll be working through until it's done, so Janice has gone to KFC for a bargain bucket. They're dining al desko. — Christopher Fowler

Throughout history, human nature remains unchanged. The world's oldest questions are still being asked. Medea, Oedipus, we're not adding anything that the Greeks didn't already know. — Christopher Fowler

Life is short and filled with pain, and just when you start to finally get the hang of it, you drop dead. — Christopher Fowler

The young detective possessed that peculiar ability more common to elderly men, which produces negative energy around electrical equipment, turning even the most basic appliances into weapons of destruction. — Christopher Fowler

Now, the tourist hot spots of the city were the very parts that made it like everywhere else. Was it possible to imagine those buildings without inhaling the animal-fat stink of McDonald's or KFC? He never thought London would cease to appeal to him, but the little faded glory it still possessed was being scuffed away by the dead hand of globalization. On his down days he saw London as a crumbling ancient house, slowly collapsing under the weight of its own past. — Christopher Fowler

Too many new writers dress up old cliches. — Christopher Fowler

Do you enjoy reading?' 'I enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey.' Bryant quailed at the thought. 'That's not really reading, is it? More like staring at an assortment of words.' 'It is very popular.' 'So is taking photographs of your dinner for Facebook, but that doesn't mean it adds to the total sum of human knowledge. — Christopher Fowler

The true mark of English conversation is not being able to tell when you've been insulted. I think the more sophisticated society becomes, the more it hides behind the masks it manufactures. — Christopher Fowler

I've always loved what I'd term 'dark fiction' writers, everyone from J. G. Ballard to Mervyn Peake and Philip Pullman. I'm not sure it's a genre, but it's what I like best. — Christopher Fowler

When may did so, he found every cup and saucer, plate, vase, and bowl standing arranged across the floor like pieces in a scaled-up chess game.
"The Whitstable family tree," Bryant explained, entering and setting down his tea tray. "It's the only way I could get it sorted out in my head. I had to see them properly laid out, who was descended from whom." He pointed to a milk jug. "Daisy Whitstable is bottom left-hand corner, by the fireguard. Next to her is the egg cup, brother Tarquin ... Now, pass me Marion and Alfred Whitstable over there."
"What's their significance?"
"We need them to drink out of. — Christopher Fowler

She had a smile that could put a froth on a cup of coffee, and she knew it. — Christopher Fowler

We're the police, we don't thump people. — Christopher Fowler

There are always regrets, of course. But you have to try and make a difference without hurting anyone along the way, so that you can reach a final state of grace without shame. — Christopher Fowler

Leave the thought, it will surface when it's ready — Christopher Fowler

For me, imagination would always provide a means of escape. — Christopher Fowler

I consider myself a kind of a nerd, because when we go to the coffee shop in the mornings, we sit there in a very neat row with our laptops. It's just like being at work, but with coffee and panini. And, of course, you don't get paid. — Christopher Fowler

Whenever the cadaverous Home Office security supervisor became involved in their affairs, babies cried, women cowered, innocence was punished and blame was wrongly apportioned. — Christopher Fowler

His bedroom was a reflection of Bryant's mind, its untidy shelves filled with games and puzzles stacked in ancient boxes, statues and mementoes competing for space with books on every subject imaginable, from Sensation and Perception in the History of Experimental Psychology to Illustrated British Ballads and A History of Indian Philosophy.
"What are you reading at the moment?' asked May.
"Batman," said Bryant. "The drawings are terribly good. — Christopher Fowler

Kim Newman brings Dracula back home in the granddaddy of all vampire adventures. Anno Dracula couldn't be more fun if Bram Stoker had scripted it for Hammer. It's a beautifully constructed Gothic epic that knocks almost every other vampire novel out for the count. — Christopher Fowler

Big fucking mistake man. You can't be near her. Don't you get it? [ ... ] She's part of this city. Do you see? I mean, really part of it. You hurt her, you - hurt all of this. — Christopher Fowler

It is said that the hallmark of a gentleman is that he is only ever rude intentionally. Arthur Bryant was no gentleman. His rudeness came from an inability to cloak his opinions in even the most cursory civility. He believed in good manners at the meal table and bad manners almost everywhere else. — Christopher Fowler

He kept his shirt-tail hanging out below the hem of his jacket as a white flag to motorists; over four thousand people had been killed in blackout accidents during the first few months of the war. It was safer to take an overseas posting with the British Expeditionary Force. — Christopher Fowler

Statistics show that the nature of English crime is reverting to its oldest habits. In a country where so many desire status and wealth, petty annoyances can spark disproportionately violent behaviour. We become frustrated because we feel powerless, invisible, unheard. We crave celebrity, but that's not easy to come by, so we settle for notoriety. Envy and bitterness drive a new breed of lawbreakers, replacing the old motives of poverty and the need for escape. But how do you solve crimes which no longer have traditional motives? — Christopher Fowler

The drawings are terribly good. — Christopher Fowler

His new life required no great change in the patterns of his behaviour. It was merely an adjustment. He had always known how to make himself invisible. — Christopher Fowler

Don't talk to me about sense.
i've been alive for forty-seven years and I have absolutely no understanding of human nature whatsoever. I might as well be living with a completely different species, giant squids or perhaps some kind of insect colony. — Christopher Fowler

Like all dancers, so much of her body fat had been converted to muscle that she needed to eat regularly. — Christopher Fowler

I know how the world works. Business decisions are not made for the good of the people, but for the sake of profit, loyalty and expedience. — Christopher Fowler

Bryant wanted to be outside digging up corpses and chasing (as much as his bad leg would allow) unscrupulous but fiendishly brilliant villains through the back alleys of the city. Instead he was meeting a clerk about forgotten bits of paperwork. — Christopher Fowler

The queen of crime, Agatha Christie, was always more concerned about the clockwork cleverness of the plot, never the investigator. — Christopher Fowler

Thanks to Hitler, we are no longer living in a world that cares about the death of someone because they were loved in the past. It cares only if that death can do damage to the future. — Christopher Fowler

[In the theatre] Thanks.' He paused on the stairs. "And good-
"Don't say it!" yelled Helena. "No whistling, no well-wishing."
"I thought you weren't superstitious."
"I'm not,' she said defiantly, 'but obviously there are limits. — Christopher Fowler

It's hardly a wonder that they call London the most elusive city in the world. Its character changes from one street to the next. There's no rhyme or reason, no pattern to the place. You could take six people at random from the centre of town, ask them to write down all the places they visit regularly and find that their circles of movement don't overlap at more than one or two points. Each of them would see a different city. — Christopher Fowler

I didn't bother with television myself because it consisted largely of windmills, puppets and pottery wheels, interspersed with elderly men smoking pipes while they discussed Harold Macmillan in Old Etonian accents. — Christopher Fowler

My father worked in a scientific lab where he designed and built glass instruments. He was regarded as brilliant at his job and once constructed a human brain in glass just to show off his skills. — Christopher Fowler

I hate the endless admonishments of a nanny state that lives in fear of its lawyers. While colonies of dim-witted traffic wardens swarm about looking for minor parking infringements, nobody seems to notice that our very social fabric is falling apart. — Christopher Fowler

The first one, his first sight of a dead body. That had changed everything. A fall from innocence, and the start of a lifelong fascination with violent crime. — Christopher Fowler

My father Bill had a problem with Christmas. Although he appears in old photographs to possess a whippy, muscular frame, he was actually a frail man and usually managed to cause some kind of drama just before the festivities began. — Christopher Fowler

What is the point in consensual opinion?" Bryant asked, exasperated. "If you only discuss matters of interest with like-minded individuals you never learn anything new. Why would I want a peer group on Twitter? They're just going to agree with me. — Christopher Fowler

You see? This is what's wrong with the world. A young lady with bleached hair, an estuarine accent and unfeasible breasts can outsell a respected expert with decades of wisdom and experience."
"She's human interest," replied May.. "You're not. People reading her story will feel that if she can make it without talent, maybe they can. — Christopher Fowler

If the killer had really wanted to keep his victim's provenance hidden, he would have taken the head far away, or simply weighted it and thrown it into the fast-flowing tide of the Thames. The invention of the garbage bag had been a boon to murderers everywhere. — Christopher Fowler

We spend our youth attempting to change the future, he explained, and the rest of our lives trying to preserve the past. — Christopher Fowler

It was a violent place in which to discover a purpose. It was a good place to forge a friendship. — Christopher Fowler

If any lesson from war is to be learned, John, it must be always to prepare for the unexpected and face the unthinkable. — Christopher Fowler

The gap between rich and poor was not just one of wealth but of accountability. — Christopher Fowler

Life is a very beautiful dream. I'm so glad I chose not to wake up from it just yet — Christopher Fowler

Remembering was pointless; but forgetting somehow seemed immoral. — Christopher Fowler

By the time I reached the sixth form at my local grammar school, my father would glower at me every time I passed him with a stack of books under my arm, warning me there was no money to go to university. — Christopher Fowler

The traffic system needs a complete rethink," mused Bryant as the unit's only allocated vehicle, a powder-blue Vauxhall with a thoroughly thrashed engine, accelerated through Belsize Park. "Look at these road signs. Ministerial graffiti."
"It's no use lecturing on the problem, Arthur. That's why your driving examiner failed you thirty-seven times."
"What makes you such a great driver?'
"I don't hit things. — Christopher Fowler

Arthur, you used to sound your age. Now you're sounding several centuries old.' 'What's wrong with that? One of the great pleasures that used to come with senior citizenship was the right to be perfectly vile to everyone. You could say whatever you liked, and people excused you out of respect for your advanced years. But now that everyone is in touch with their emotions and says exactly what they feel, even that pleasure has been taken away. Is there nothing the young haven't usurped? — Christopher Fowler

Doing the right thing for everyone eventually makes other people hate you. I want to be free to make a fool of myself. — Christopher Fowler

What humanity wants most is crude sensation.
Really? I thought what humanity wanted most was dignity. — Christopher Fowler

My life was never intended to be one long slow descent into respectability. — Christopher Fowler

The fierce overhead strip lighting buzzed like the memory of a head injury. — Christopher Fowler

I'm not working class anymore,' he said. 'I'm lower-middle. I use three types of oil in my kitchen. Admittedly one of them is WD-40, but that counts, doesn't it? — Christopher Fowler

As a child marooned in a post-war South London backwater with no ready cash and a bafflingly dysfunctional family, I had to glean my amusement wherever I could. — Christopher Fowler

When Sir Arthur Conan Doyle conceived Sherlock Holmes, why didn't he give the famous consulting detective a few more quirks: a wooden leg, say, and an Oedipus complex? Well, Holmes didn't need many physical tics or personality disorders; the very concept of a consulting detective was still fresh and original in 1887. — Christopher Fowler

Old age should burn and rave at close of day. — Christopher Fowler

Three deaths - by snakebite, by explosion, by razor. What next? Death by hot air balloon? Cannon? Trident? — Christopher Fowler

[Believers] have joy and comfort-that joy that angels cannot give, and devils cannot take. — Christopher Fowler

Clutter, either mental or physical, is the sign of a healthy curiosity. — Christopher Fowler

Broadly speaking, there are two approaches to crime: the realistically detailed police procedural, usually grim and downbeat, and the more left-field, joyous theatre of ideas in which past masters once specialised. Knowing that I would never be able to handle the former, I set about reviving the latter. — Christopher Fowler

Look at the photographs of Hitler at Nuremberg two years ago, the deadness behind the eyes that denies humanity, just as it betrays the true darkness of the soul.' May — Christopher Fowler

War changes that. Crimes start to happen without reason, because people are upset, or angry, or just frustrated. Acts of violence are squalid, casual, mundane. Contrition, misery, fingerprints everywhere, children in tears. — Christopher Fowler

Skinner's suits were a constant source of fascination to Robert. They seemed to be made from an alien synthetic fibre that never creased or got dirty. Indeed, it seemed possible that Skinner himself was constructed of the same material. — Christopher Fowler

Tremble had a secret. Underneath his dreary exterior, he was quite interesting. When his penchant for investigating the area's past was indulged, a light shown in his eyes and he became almost passionate, which is why his wife kept a stack of local history books on her bedside table. — Christopher Fowler

The Victorians lost a few workers in everything they built, rather like a votive offering. — Christopher Fowler

Gathered together in this fashion, Jerry could see that the Whitstables possessed certain common physical characteristics, including wayward teeth, large earlobes, and the sort of stress-related blotchiness usually found in cornered jellyfish. — Christopher Fowler

Yes, he wanted to do the right thing, but perhaps this time the right thing was something different. — Christopher Fowler

I don't divide my reading into demographic categories, any more than I'd divide my friends into groups along ethnic or sexual lines. The thing I look for most is a sense of literary rawness - bareback fiction, if you will. — Christopher Fowler

Phobias are powerful vehicles for aggressive feelings. They condense anxiety. Intrusive phobias aren't part of general personalities, they just kick in at key moments. They're a defence against intense trauma, fear of intimacy, stuff like that. — Christopher Fowler

I don't think you should make so many off-colour jokes about him becoming a cuckold. You're only getting away with it because he doesn't know what it means.' 'That's the beauty of the English language. One can wrap insults inside elegance, like popping anchovies into pastry. — Christopher Fowler

Look at this fog. The damp gets right into your bones. It's doing my chest no good at all. I'll need a vapour bath." Bryant pulled down his scarf and peered over the sodden hedge. Dew had formed on his bald head and ears. He resembled a minor Tolkien character.
"You're getting old before your time," warned May. "I can't imagine what you'll look like in your eighties."
"I'm ageing gracefully, which means not trying to look like a member of Concrete Blimp."
"I assume you mean Led Zeppelin ... — Christopher Fowler

No more sending your clothes over to forensics to be dry-cleaned, no more running up kebab tabs on stakeouts and no more pawning items from the Evidence Room until payday. — Christopher Fowler

I have to go, I'm being asked to join a conga line through the Byzantine reliquaries. — Christopher Fowler

There's a melancholy sense of things lost in the shabbier British seaside towns; of comfortable failure and better times long gone. — Christopher Fowler

I do not mind lying but I hate inaccuracy — Christopher Fowler

He's got the charm of a rectal probe, and no social skills to speak of, so nobody wants to go for a drink with him. Let's face it, dogs have more to look forward to in later life - at least they can go to the park and roll in shit. — Christopher Fowler

It was true that the city could still throw shadows filled with mystifying figures from its past, whose grip on the present could be felt on certain strange days, when the streets were dark with rain and harmful ideas. — Christopher Fowler

I have never met an author who did not read voraciously as a child. — Christopher Fowler

May felt exhilarated around Bryant. He had always imagined that somewhere out there, away from suburban dullness, ardent young people were allowed to give freer rein to their thoughts. He felt as though he had arrived at a place he had always wanted to be. — Christopher Fowler

The clouds of night opened like ink blossoming in water. — Christopher Fowler

Reality TV has blown away the need for a roster of familiar faces in films. Plus, films became franchise and didn't need stars. But the real difference between stars and celebrities is that stars have training and talent, and celebrities just have exposure. — Christopher Fowler

I wouldn't like to find out my GP was messing about with black magic. It would be like discovering that your bank manager was also a stand-up comic. — Christopher Fowler

I suppose the worst thing isn't that there might be nothing after death, but that there might be nothing before it. — Christopher Fowler

His unique skill had always been to absorb the talents and knowledge of others, use what he needed and discard the rest. He never allowed anyone to get to close. He kept the world at arm's length in order to look down on it. — Christopher Fowler

I left school on a wet Thursday afternoon, found a room in a shared house in North London, and started my first job on the following Monday as a courier for an advertising agency. — Christopher Fowler

May walked slowly around the body, studying it. Putrefaction had been halted in its advance, but the corpse's skin had turned green and black, producing an acrid odour. He found it hard to imagine that this man had recently been walking around, eating in restaurants, watching TV. He was someone's lover, someone's son, but there was almost nothing human left. Without a head his trunk bore an unsettling similarity to something you would find in a meat locker. How would his loved ones feel if they could see him like this? 'Get anything else?' 'It's tricky because the usual decay process has been interrupted by the relatively sterile storage of the body. Usually, after two to three days you get staining on the abdomen. The discolouration spreads, veins grow dark, the skin blisters after a week, tissue starts softening and nails fall off at around the three-week stage, and finally the face becomes unrecognisable as the skin liquefies - — Christopher Fowler

My bedroom was filled with reading material: books salvaged from dustbins, books borrowed from friends, books with missing pages, books found in the street, abandoned, unreadable, torn, scribbled on, unloved, unwanted and dismissed. My bedroom was the Battersea Dogs' Home of books. — Christopher Fowler