Chelsea Cain Quotes & Sayings

When I say that I went to grad school in Iowa City, people often assume that I went to the famed writers' workshop MFA program at the University of Iowa. I didn't. I got a master's in journalism. — Chelsea Cain

I love the fact that we are surrounded by this spectacular natural beauty that routinely strikes us dead. Hikers walk off into the woods and are never seen again. And still we tug on our fleece and skip off into the wilderness, not a care in the world. — Chelsea Cain

Lovely chatting with you, darling, but I've got to run. Face it, you're always more content when you're chasing me than when you have me locked up. I think we're going to have a lot of fun. — Chelsea Cain

I read a lot of 'Nancy Drew' books as a kid and considered myself a bit of an amateur detective. — Chelsea Cain

Tae kwon do required focus, strength, and endurance, but mostly it required the ability to deal with looking like an ass in public. — Chelsea Cain

If Gretchen had been feeling charitable she would have let me die ... I wanted to die. I was ready to die. If she had put a scalpel in my hand, I would have stabbed myself in the neck and happily bled to death right there in her basement. She didn't do me any favours by not killing me. Gretchen enjoys people's pain. And she just found a way to prolong my pain and her pleasure. Believe me, it was the cruellest thing she could have done to me. If she could have thought of something crueller she would have done it. Gretchen doesn't show people mercy. — Chelsea Cain

He's not like his father. She reconsidered this. I mean, he's not perfect. But he's not Scarface. — Chelsea Cain

You know what I hate? I hate people who give me plants. The whole giving someone plants - it's like giving someone a pet. I'm giving you responsibility, I'm giving you a thing that you now have to take care of for, like, a year until it dies, and then I'm giving you sadness and guilt. — Chelsea Cain

Derek cleared his throat. "Right. Sorry." He — Chelsea Cain

I guess people might be surprised to know I read comic books. I'm a Marvel girl, as opposed to DC. — Chelsea Cain

I was born in Iowa City and spent my early childhood on a hippie commune just outside of town. — Chelsea Cain

I was a library rat and a bookworm. I read all the time. I walked to school reading books. I read under my desk. — Chelsea Cain

Of the paperbacks that you see at the airport, I am the most violent woman writer. — Chelsea Cain

There will be time to diet when people stopped killing one another. — Chelsea Cain

Our relationship is complicated by the fact that I am emotionally retarded. — Chelsea Cain

No duh, Susan said. You are like a walking vault of things you don't tell people. People who have secrets should pay you to hold on to them for them. You could be like a secret bank. — Chelsea Cain

She was a beautiful girl, but the lack of any spark dampened her prettiness. — Chelsea Cain

Worst part of being a writer: having to tell my toddler that I can't play with her because I'm working. Keep in mind that working consists of me at home with a laptop on my lap sitting on the couch. It doesn't look like working. I don't have a hammer or anything. — Chelsea Cain

We lie to each other all the time, remember?' she said with an amused smile.
'Tell me,' Archie said, 'and I'll believe you. — Chelsea Cain

She always felt a little uneasy around women who were more sophisticated than she was. — Chelsea Cain

Often we don't even know what we think ourselves about people in our lives. — Chelsea Cain

His whole relationship with Gretchen was one long postcoital illusion — Chelsea Cain

I've always been more interested in what happens after the bad thing has happened - the fallout of the bad thing, when people are already damaged. I'm less interested in seeing people when they're fine and following their journey to becoming damaged. — Chelsea Cain

I am a control freak, but not when I travel. For some reason when I travel, I am able to surrender more than in my real life. I am able to let go. I think it's why I like it so much. — Chelsea Cain

I'm a good person. I eat pretty well. I work out. I go to bookstores. I save people. For a living. I have better things to do than get hauled in for a medical checkup every week. Have I complained the last few months? Constantly. Was I a good patient? No. What can I say? When your primary care provider is a shadowy government agency, you have to be your own medical advocate. — Chelsea Cain

I'm usually too shy to write on planes because I assume that everyone on board is as nosy as I am and will look over my shoulder and read what I'm writing. — Chelsea Cain

Ask me why I never joined a sorority. I went to college in Georgia. Still... never tempted. Why?" *lady in leather making speech with man tided to alter* "That's why. Delta Delta Delta. Kiwanis. Girl Scouts. They all lead here-- to the basement of the Hellfire Club. — Chelsea Cain

I have traveled a fair amount, and I have visited some great cities. I love architecture and museums and castles and ruins and central markets and even double-decker bus tours. But, I am a sucker for a tropical beach. — Chelsea Cain

Even the most blatant assholes seemed to function in a state of grace when confronted with the brutal loss of a loved one. They moved through the world differently than other people. When they looked at you, you had the feeling that they were really seeing you. Their entire universe was just this one thing, this one event, this one loss. They seemed, for a few weeks, to have things in perspective. Then the inconsequential shit of their lives would start to seep back in. — Chelsea Cain

What's she like?' Archie repeated softly. He put his hand on the trooper's shoulder and leaned forward, so his face was inched from his. Gretchen was a beautiful, sensual, charismatic, manipulative bitch, the object of Archie's sexual obsession, his torturer, and the person who knew him best in the world. 'She's a serial killer,' Archie said. He smiled and gave the trooper's shoulder an avuncular pat. 'If you ever lay eyes on her, shoot her.'
Archie turned to Henry. 'I'm ready to go back to the loony bin,' he said — Chelsea Cain

Gretchen took a beautiful mugshot. — Chelsea Cain

Josie, like Gretchen, isn't afraid of blood. What woman would be? — Chelsea Cain

You should have me restrained,' she said. 'I could kill you. You never know when I might have a razor blade tucked up my sleeve.'
'Why kill me now?' Archie said. 'It would seem anticlimactic. — Chelsea Cain

I felt like I'd culturally arrived when a character on the HBO show 'True Blood' was reading a hardback of 'Heartsick' at Sookie's kitchen table. — Chelsea Cain

Her body was spattered with tiny bits of the reverend's flesh and blood, like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender. — Chelsea Cain

He said that I was his person," she told him. "He said that we all have people in the world we belong to. Connect with. And that I was his. He said that there was no denying it. — Chelsea Cain

Somehow, having an office that I had to go to made me want to work from home, which is easier to do if you don't have a boss waiting for you at the office, even a very blue office. — Chelsea Cain

We lie to each other all the time. Whatever we say, it doesn't mean anything."
"I'll believe you," she said. — Chelsea Cain

I grew up in Washington State and then eventually found my way back to Iowa City for grad school. — Chelsea Cain

Ugly people kill people all the time. But when pretty people did, it got attention. — Chelsea Cain

I like to think of you not being able to end your suffering,' she said.
'I like to think of you not being able to satisfy your blood-lust,' he said. — Chelsea Cain

But people in masks were always assholes. It was a scientific law. Give someone anonymity and all social niceties break down. The Internet had proven that. — Chelsea Cain

I wanted you to understand right away how committed I am to you ... That you are the only one — Chelsea Cain

My husband and I were excited about having a kid - it was having a baby that had us worried. We had a lot to learn, so like good liberal arts graduates, we signed up for a class. — Chelsea Cain

I think of it as the lasagna approach to writing because I'm always adding layers. I'll sometimes do it layer by layer, with dialogue, attribution, action, objects in the scene, setting ... It can be sometimes that delineated. — Chelsea Cain

Great. First the anonymous call. Now letters. Body parts all over town. It was like a scavenger hunt for psychos. Running after clues with a half-deranged, serial-killer-obsessed, recovering-addict cop was not a good idea. Then again ... — Chelsea Cain

His father is hinky, she said with a sigh. And by hinky she meant a drug kingpin. — Chelsea Cain

They were going to have a conversation, he realized. Archie didn't know a lot about women, but he had been married and he knew when a conversation was coming, and he knew when a woman wanted to have one, the best thing you could do was get it over with. — Chelsea Cain

You're a fucking aberration, sweetheart. — Chelsea Cain

I'd lived in Portland on and off for a decade before I'd even heard of Vanport. It was this town of 20,000 people that washed away from north Portland. — Chelsea Cain

I know that there's a cultural expectation that women be nurturing, delicate flowers. And I am. So delicate. But that doesn't mean I can't write a good, gory murder scene. — Chelsea Cain

I love to write just about more than anything, but there are times I have to force myself to sit down and work. I want to play with my daughter or watch a movie with my husband or go outside on the nicest day of the year. But if writing is going to be your job, you have to treat it like a job. — Chelsea Cain

She'd liked Pearl. Pearl hadn't meant to Tazer Archie. Well, she meant to Tazer him, but how was she supposed to know that her then-boyfriend was going to drag Archie away, suspend him naked from meat hooks and try to hack him up with an ax?
Hadn't everyone had a bad boyfriend at some point?
Pearl had made some bonehead choices, but she had a good heart. — Chelsea Cain

The digital clock that sat on the empty bookcase blinked insistently in the dim room. It was an hour and thirty-five minutes off, but Archie had never bothered to reset it, he just did the maths to calculate the time. — Chelsea Cain

I was pregnant with my daughter when I started writing my first thriller, so I guess you could blame hormones. — Chelsea Cain

Why did you come here?' Gretchen asked.
'To kill you,' Archie said.
'How badly do you want it?'
'Pretty badly,' Archie said. — Chelsea Cain

I read a lot fewer thrillers than I think people assume I do. — Chelsea Cain

I used to write travel essays, and I was struck by how the fact of writing about a place would change my relationship with it. I would make completely different choices, do things I wouldn't have normally, because I had to fill this narrative shape. — Chelsea Cain

She lied to me today," Archie said.
"A teenager?" Susan said with faux surprise. "Lying to an authority figure? Impossible. — Chelsea Cain

Debbie often talked about Gretchen as if she was his mistress. But to Archie it sometimes felt like the other way around. As if, by moving back in with his ex-wife, he was cheating on Gretchen.
That was probably worthy of bringing up in therapy — Chelsea Cain

That woman was always very good at not seeing what was in front of her. In my experience, people who lie to themselves long enough don't even know when they're blind. — Chelsea Cain

I often keep my eyes open for bodies. I do. Ever since I was a kid. I think I read too many 'Nancy Drew' books. — Chelsea Cain

You find that you have lot of time on your hands when you suddenly are not drinking because you are pregnant. — Chelsea Cain

People come to Portland, many of them for the quality of life. They love the physical space here. And yet every year, people climbing the mountain get killed by avalanches. — Chelsea Cain

You're wrong, you know," Susan said. "She doesn't belong here. I'm against the death penalty. I don't think the state should be in the business of killing people. I think it's wrong. And it's hypocritical. Mostly, I just think it's mean. Gretchen Lowell ? She is the exception. She deserves to die. If we kill one person, one criminal in the history of the world, it should be her." Susan paused, reconsidering. "And Hitler. Her, and Hitler". Prescott had that shrink look on his face again, passive and unimpressed, and yet somehow judgmental at the same time. Susan continued. "She removed a detective's spleen without anesthesia. She stuck a wire through an old woman's eyeball and then threaded it behind her nose and out through the other eye socket and then she stuck the wire into an outlet."
Prescott raised an eyebrow. "And you're arguing that she's sane? — Chelsea Cain

If it were that important, SHIELD would have sent me." "Remember that conversation we had about being more supportive?" "Sorry. — Chelsea Cain

I'm a sucker for a screwed-up protagonist. We all have issues. — Chelsea Cain

Kick had a worry list. She added to it every day. By keeping track of each worry, she could put off worrying in the moment and instead do it all at once during the designated worry period she set aside before dinner. — Chelsea Cain

I finished 'Heartsick' with my daughter asleep in her bassinet by my desk, a feat that any new mother will tell you cannot be sufficiently praised. — Chelsea Cain

One. And I hid it. And Mia Turner found it because they — Chelsea Cain

Something about the way she moves through the world does not lend itself to the care of fragile objects. — Chelsea Cain

Writing tips are like mini skirts. Sometimes they fit perfectly, sometimes they make you cry, and sometimes you can reuse the material and sew yourself a pillow or something. — Chelsea Cain

There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ago people came here and died getting here, and then died the first winter they were here. There's this breathtaking beauty, just a little bit of moss on the tree, just this little thread of danger, and the sinister. And I really like that. — Chelsea Cain

I like signing books for a living; I do. But you have no idea the panic that sets in. I am not a very good speller. Put me in a stresser situation, and I lose all capacity to recall how to spell the most simple names. — Chelsea Cain

People read stuff over your shoulder when you're in public, and when you write the kind of stuff I do, and people read it over your shoulder, it makes you a little self-conscious. — Chelsea Cain

I've had a really bad day," she said to Jack. "Your party sucked. I think my boyfriend and I are breaking up. I got taken hostage by a serial killer. I have spiders in my hair. And you're being a pig-headed asshole. I'm telling you," she added, with a glance over her shoulder at Razor Burn, "if someone points a gun at me again, or threatens me in any way, I'm going to lose it. — Chelsea Cain

The chalk dust was everywhere. On her pants. All over her shirt. She looked like she'd fallen into a vat of 1980s eye shadow. It had mixed with her hand sweat and formed a kind of Smurf epoxy. — Chelsea Cain

Memory is a fiction we tell ourselves: just a piece of the truth. — Chelsea Cain

In that moment she realised that Archie had never told her anything, never let her see anything, that he didn't want her to know. — Chelsea Cain

Gretchen Lowell was beautiful in a very grown-up way, in a sophisticated, confident way. It was more than beauty; it was the power of beauty. She radiated it. — Chelsea Cain

He had talked to hundreds of witnesses. And he knew that if someone felt pressured, they would try too hard, and their imagination would fill what their memory couldn't recover. — Chelsea Cain

In that moment Archie realised that Gretchen had never told him anything, never let him see anything that she didn't want him to know. She had always been in control. She had always been one move ahead. — Chelsea Cain

Whatever you think this is going to be like," she whispers, "it's going to be worse. — Chelsea Cain

You think I'm going to let you burn in hell alone? Just don't shoot the janitor. — Chelsea Cain

What's your name, honey?" Frank asked her. "Beth Riley," she said. She could hear footsteps overhead as the agents stomped around her parents' bedroom upstairs. "What's your real name?" he asked. Her skin prickled. "Beth Riley," she said again. — Chelsea Cain

I was obsessed with Val McDermid's Tony Hill and Carol Jordan books, delightfully twisted stuff. — Chelsea Cain

There's not a lot of arc in an actual psychopath. — Chelsea Cain

As a seven-year-old, I remember when Etan Patz disappeared and was immortalized as the first missing-child face on a milk carton. — Chelsea Cain

Sin is rarely without complication — Chelsea Cain

No matter what fabulous place I visit, I don't feel like I'm on vacation unless I'm dehydrated and covered with sunscreen. — Chelsea Cain

Maybe the reason we all picture serial killers as schlubby, middle-aged white guys is because they are the ones who get caught. — Chelsea Cain

A face that looked like it had been whittled out of driftwood. — Chelsea Cain

Susan was already rehearsing excuses in case she was caught: I just got my period and I was looking for a tissue to stuff in my underpants. Men didn't question menstruation stories. Ever. You could probably get into the White House if you said you needed a tampon ASAP. — Chelsea Cain

That was emasculating." "Says the guy wearing the collar. — Chelsea Cain

Robbins had opened Gabby up. Her charred skin was peeled back, and her ribs were removed. She was pink inside, like steak that had been burned on a high heat but remained raw in the middle. — Chelsea Cain

I've written books for awhile, but always on a pretty small scale and always pretty self-indulgent. I chose projects that I thought would be really fun to work on and found friends to work on them with me, and it was all about the process. — Chelsea Cain

You won't make a living writing until you learn to write when you don't want to. — Chelsea Cain

Don't let your characters tell you what to do. They can be pushy. Some writers say that they create characters and then just sort of follow them around through the narrative. I think that these writers are out of their minds. — Chelsea Cain

Every year, I give my dad an advance copy of my latest book. He reads it over the next several nights and says something incredibly supportive. Then he clears his throat nervously and changes the subject. — Chelsea Cain