Cat Hellisen Quotes & Sayings

Dear Gris, if there's one thing I can't abide it's a bad poet. — Cat Hellisen

I picture my mother's face when she must go out in public with Owen, the cold arrogant look she wears, as if the whole world is filth before her. It is an expression I've learned to copy well, and like all roles, if you can believe it, you can be it. I press my hands to my face and push, smoothing the worry and fear away. I'm better than them. Better than Owen, than Canroth Piers. They can never really control me because they cannot bridle my thoughts. — Cat Hellisen

This time I keep to the long shadows where the darkness gathers thickest, picking my way across the silvery damp grass until I reach the edge of the world. Below, the rocks and waves are grinding against each other, and the wind sucks at me, begging me to take one more step, to throw myself down. Sacrifice, the water says in its sea-witch voice, full of whispers and promises. Sometimes I have to wonder if the Hob belief that the sea is animate, alive and full of magic, is more than just primitive nonsense. — Cat Hellisen

Every now and then one stands up and orates at length to the unfortunate crowd, after which he bows to their scattered applause. Personally, I think they'd be better served by plates broken over their heads than by hand-claps. — Cat Hellisen

I think I want to sleep," I say. And I do, really, I do. The last thing I want is to be awake and to think about how Ilven escaped from the life she didn't want. And why she never spoke to me, told me, warned me. Perhaps I could have changed her mind. It occurs to me that she never meant to meet me under the trees - that she knew me well enough to predict that I would wait only so long before I left - because then she could take the Leap without any chance of me witnessing her from my tower. My heart goes small, and every limb feels too heavy to lift. — Cat Hellisen

Like all high-Lammers, I am a lucky accident of birth, gifted with a talent that can be expanded by something as simple as a mineral. A mineral unfortunately rare and extremely addictive. This - this dust - rules our lives. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better had there been no magic at all. — Cat Hellisen

If her death wakes something in the deep, then she will bring more shame down on her House with that one act than she could have accomplished in a lifetime of disobedience. They will hate her for it. I wonder if Lady Malker has already struck her daughter's name from the family tree. — Cat Hellisen

Whether I'm working a street corner or a market stall, well, that's none of their business unless they're buying. The anonymity is comfortable, like going around draped in magic, hidden from view. — Cat Hellisen

Sarah liked to think that night was the best time to work on staying silly and childish. Darkness always seemed more understanding about those sorts of things. More accommodating. Tonight — Cat Hellisen

Let Piers and Owen make the wedding arrangements, just don't expect the bride to be there like a dog called to heel. I'll choose my own Gris-damned husband, thank you. If I even want one, and I'm not exactly certain of that. I want life on my own terms, not on the dictates of tradition and of haggling over power and land. — Cat Hellisen

No matter what the results, it is my choices that define me. And I will fight for them, even when it seems that failure is inevitable. Perhaps most especially then. — Cat Hellisen

Before, I would have been powdered and perfumed, my hair done in an elaborate style by the patient fingers of servants. The household crake would have written lines in my honor, my dress would have been new, and I would have been as beautifully turned out as glass sculpture from House Canroth. And as empty. — Cat Hellisen

And know that the world exists, and moves on without me?" The beast settled back down, nose to tail, his horns gleaming in the faint light. "Thank you, no. — Cat Hellisen

Sarah wondered if at night the trees dreamed of a time when they covered the world and the true kings were wild and wore crowns of horns and antlers. Even — Cat Hellisen

Carefully, I arrange the teapot, the little white cup, and the sugar bowl before me like an army. Defense? Or attack? — Cat Hellisen

Are you asking me if I fuck my food?" The words sound overly harsh in the darkness.

"I suppose I am. — Cat Hellisen

Sarah had discovered that while she liked to ask questions in the hopes that someone or other could answer them, adults liked to ask questions they already knew the answers to. She wasn't sure why exactly that was, and had finally decided that as people grew older, the more important something was the easier it becomes for them to forget. They had to keep asking as a way to help them remember. — Cat Hellisen

After all, there is nothing quite like losing a parent to knock the childishness out of a person's spirit. — Cat Hellisen

It could be a true future that Ilven saw - she's a Saint after all.

Was. Was a Saint. — Cat Hellisen

They really did you over," she says, after peering at my bruised face. "This way, we'll get you sorted out." She's not friendly, just abrupt and sharp, like she's dealing with another problem in her long day. — Cat Hellisen

Seeing into the future is not a straight line. You are given the choice of a hundred paths through a treacherous swamp. Some will lead you safely onwards, others drown you, and sometimes it's hard to tell which is which," my mother says. — Cat Hellisen

My mother still deludes herself that the letters are written out of more than a desire to spend as little time in our company as possible. She likes to think he is still hers. — Cat Hellisen

There's a distinct bitter aftertaste of Lady's Gown in the tea, and I welcome it. Anything to sleep without dreaming. — Cat Hellisen

Just sleep here." At my sharp look he laughs. "I'll take the floor, and I'll get you to your job on time. I promise."

"You're full of promises." But the thought of sleeping in a soft bed with warm blankets is appealing. And I understand Jannik now. I'm his symbol of hope, his reason to believe that one day he too can throw off the shackles of his family. — Cat Hellisen

Are they the same reasons my mother had Owen? Me? Did we each think to improve on the generation that came before us, or did we just want to be certain that someone somewhere loved and needed us? I sniff. My mother discovered soon enough that a son's love is only for the length of a childhood. A daughter's is forever. It may be snarled up with resentment, but it goes deeper. Daughters will always eventually understand the mothers they thought they hated. — Cat Hellisen