Carroll Bryant Quotes & Sayings

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened? — Carroll Bryant

If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you. — Carroll Bryant

Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out. — Carroll Bryant

Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death. — Carroll Bryant

A sin is nothing more than regret. Not for doing it once, but doing it again when you know you're going to regret it. — Carroll Bryant

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday."
"Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week."
Ian nods his head. "Pretty much. — Carroll Bryant

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying. — Carroll Bryant

I feel like I am either on the cusp of something great, or standing on the edge of my abyss, discovering something brand new, or uncovering somebody elses lost imagination. — Carroll Bryant

Nothing is as it seems, but something is everything it is made out to be. — Carroll Bryant

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. — Carroll Bryant

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it. — Carroll Bryant

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. — Carroll Bryant

I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I. — Carroll Bryant

In my dreams you will always stay, every breathing moment from now. For you I would fly, at least I would try. For you I'll take the last flight out. — Carroll Bryant

Know who you are, and be it. Know what you want, and go out and get it! — Carroll Bryant

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is ... reluctance. — Carroll Bryant

You know," Kavita begins, "I think I can pick out my own furniture. I am an artist after all. I do have some taste."
"No you don't." Nick plainly states. "No man has taste. Besides, I didn't pick it out, she did. Wives are good for things like that. — Carroll Bryant

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had wanted to meet the right girl, I would have drank a whole lot less. — Carroll Bryant

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. — Carroll Bryant

I don't know who he was," Kavita flat-out states, "but whoever he was he sure did a number on you, didn't he?"
Mary leans forward to ensure he would see her deviant stare. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I did a number on him?"
Kavita leans in closer as well, and with that same deviant expression, "Yes. I have. — Carroll Bryant

I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction — Carroll Bryant

Where am I going to grow a garden in a penthouse?"
"Next time I visit I'll fix you up a spot in one of the corners. You won't even know it's there until its time to harvest."
"Wonderful." But then it occurred to her. "Jenny, next time you visit?"
"What? What is it?" Jennifer asked.
Christine half stuttered. "You have never been to my penthouse."
"Really?" Jennifer thought back when something came to mind. "Well, what was that great big building we went to the last time we visited? You know, we went all the way to the top."
"That was the Empire State building."
"No fooling? Huh, what do you know? Well you should move in there, it was beautiful as I recall."
"You can't move into the Empire State building."
"Oh, that's right," Jennifer soon realized, "those mean terrorists tore it down. My, that was just awful. — Carroll Bryant

You are evil woman, just plain evil. — Carroll Bryant

The moment you stop trying to become a better person, is the moment you start to become worse than what you already are. — Carroll Bryant

Mine, is a wicked world of pure fascinastion. — Carroll Bryant

The last word of love is ... goodbye. — Carroll Bryant

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection. — Carroll Bryant

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought. — Carroll Bryant

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. — Carroll Bryant

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick. — Carroll Bryant

To which hand do I choose to strike with when both hands are guided by the same heart? — Carroll Bryant

Hope is believing in something that eludes you. It's a desperate feeling in a desperate situation. — Carroll Bryant

The white lily stands for purity. Artists for centuries have pictured the angel Gabriel coming to the virgin Mary with a spray of lillies in his hand, to announce that she is to be the mother of the Turks. — Carroll Bryant

If only yesterday could be my tomorrow then today wouldn't even matter. — Carroll Bryant

It's not adviseable to always go around doubting others all the time. However, it is logical. — Carroll Bryant

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. — Carroll Bryant

Every town has its secrets." He began. "San Felipe is no different. Skeletons are hidden in closets for a reason my friend. And trust me when I tell you, San Felipe has many skeletons. The moral of the story is; don't go snooping into strange closets. You will only find sins and betrayal. Why do you think we drink tequila so much? — Carroll Bryant

Lily looks back down at the necklace in her hand that Kavita had given her. "It must have cost a fortune."
"It did." He confirms. "Though not nearly as much as you're worth."
Lily looks up at him. "Don't say that. You hurt me everytime you speak. — Carroll Bryant

Everyone in life has a purpose, even if it's to serve as a bad example — Carroll Bryant

I'm not a type-O ... Don't delete me. — Carroll Bryant

I think a person can do one of two things in life ... make your own choices despite the past or let your past make your choices for you. Very few poeple go through life completely untouched by something bad. It's just up to the individual on how much of that bad you want to define who you are where it should be that YOU define who you are. — Carroll Bryant

The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever. — Carroll Bryant

Mary approaches her before she is able to reach her station. "Hello Lily. Get anything special for Christmas?"
"Just the usual." She answers. "Shattered dreams. — Carroll Bryant

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? — Carroll Bryant

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender. — Carroll Bryant

When people say they hate life, to what are they comparing it to? The alternative isn't any more appealing. — Carroll Bryant

Often times, "shame" is the word that best describes reality. — Carroll Bryant

Love should feel like a hand sewn quilt made by grandma, wrapping you up on a cold winter morning. — Carroll Bryant

I saw America's economy last night, people raiding dumpsters at a higher rate than normal in my home town. Digging through garbage shouldn't be a career. Thanks Democrats. Thanks Republicans. — Carroll Bryant

There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place — Carroll Bryant

I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them. — Carroll Bryant

The thing I want to write most is the next thing I write. — Carroll Bryant

Today I feel like I did tomorrow. — Carroll Bryant

We are all doomed, Yankee detective. One day I will come into work and see myself lying on this slab. — Carroll Bryant

You cannot prevent a war by starting a war. — Carroll Bryant

When it comes to being famous, you're usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth! — Carroll Bryant

The reason time is always running out is because it has nothing else better to do. — Carroll Bryant

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. — Carroll Bryant

You are the guiding star of someone's existence — Carroll Bryant

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. — Carroll Bryant

If you could sum up your life in one sentence, then you didn't live much of a life. — Carroll Bryant

You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick. — Carroll Bryant

You can push my buttons all you want. Just don't pull any of my levers. — Carroll Bryant

It's not how many times you fall. And it's not how many times you get back up. It's about how much money you have to pay people to admit that the whole incident didn't even occur to begin with. — Carroll Bryant

This isn't your world. It's your parents. Your world is still out there, waiting to be discovered. Always remember that. — Carroll Bryant

You are the only one who can. — Carroll Bryant

This Obamacare thing really scares me. The United States government / politicians are trying to turn the American people into a brand X "One size fits all" country. The past ten years has been very grim for Americans. Our current state is very grim. Our future is even more grim than ever. I used to tell people that it will get worse before it gets better. Now, I just say it will get worse. — Carroll Bryant

Like love, people don't live inside of life, life lives inside of you. Open yourselves upto it and there's no stopping your heart. — Carroll Bryant

I don't think it's proper for a girl to have three boyfriends." Jennifer now begins to sound her age, and more like a grandmother.
Sally attempts to clear up any confusion. "They're not my boyfriends, they're just boys who are my friends."
"How could I have ever misunderstood that? — Carroll Bryant

His trickery was beginning to get under my crawl. Then again, what wasn't in this country? It was always devil this and devil that. Christ, so this is where the devil lives? — Carroll Bryant

Look how healthy you are, and your skin, it's like a Barbie doll."
"Why, thank you, Jenny." Christine graciously accepted the compliment, only to get side swiped when Jennifer moved to the door. "Tell me, will you melt if it gets too hot outside? — Carroll Bryant

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny. — Carroll Bryant