Caprice Crane Quotes & Sayings

Because I demand to be treated like the unique snowflake I am. — Caprice Crane

Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier. — Caprice Crane

Don't sit back and be a bystander of your own life — Caprice Crane

Ever think about how much that sucks? Sunday is the weekend, but it's also a school night. Kind of ruins the whole day. Like if you get quiet enough on a Sunday night, you can almost hear Monday taunting you with the theme from Jaws. — Caprice Crane

Picture the person who intimidates you most. Now picture them crouched like a dog, pooping on the sidewalk, looking up at you, all vulnerable. We all poop. Maybe not on the sidewalk, but nobody is better than you and don't let them think they are for a minute. — Caprice Crane

Actually saying OMG out loud should only happen if you're being ironic or asking your phone for directions to the Oklahoma Meerkat Gardens. — Caprice Crane

Most of the time, I feel like a total fraud. Like I have no idea how I've made it this far without the world figuring out that I have no idea what I'm doing or that I'm relying on some sign or the fact that I glanced at the clock at 11:11 or the fact that Paul McCartney's "With a Little Luck" was playing on the radio when my alarm woke me up to give me a little extra confidence that "we can make this whole damn thing work out." This "whole damn thing" being my life. — Caprice Crane

You can have one of mine," he says. "i'll yank one out right now."
no, that won't count. It has to be the lash that naturally falls out. "
He gets on his knees and starts looking for my lash. — Caprice Crane

Someone once said, People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. They forgot one other option: Some people come only to give us their contact information, let us know that we really need to get together sometime, and why don't we give them a call? — Caprice Crane

It's 4:21 am. He's gotta be done having mind-blowing-knock-your-dick-into-your-watch-pocket sex with her, and she's probably spooning with him right now. Ugh, it makes me sick. I'll bet he's in front, too, the dick. Anyone would know that Heaven is supposed to be the little spoon, but he's probably making her be the big spoon. — Caprice Crane

People can be taught to hate. And people can be taught to spell. But apparently, it's one or the other. — Caprice Crane

Thank you," she says and yanks the pull-tab off the soda can. She takes a big sip and aaahs. Then she takes the pull-tab and puts it on her ring finger like a wedding band. She holds her hand out and looks at it.
"Someday," she says wistfully.
"Wow, a soda pop pull-tab ring. You're easy. Most girls want their ring from Tiffany's."
"Well, I'm not most girls."
She's telling me? — Caprice Crane

When a girl says, 'I can't believe I'm doing this!' just know that she had it planned from the minute she shaved — Caprice Crane

Love is pretty much a decision anyway. Just like happiness. You can decide to either love someone or not, be happy or not. The rest is just commitment to the idea. — Caprice Crane

The smile that spread across my face felt like sunshine warming me from the inside out — Caprice Crane

Yesterday I had a woman ask me what kind of salad dressings we have. I told her we have sesame soy dressing, spicy lime vinaigrette, and blue cheese. She made a face and asked, 'Is that all?' 'Yes,' I told her, 'those are all of our dressings.' 'Don't you have any other dressings?' he says. I mean, what the hell? What does she think? That I'm holding out? I was tempted to say, No, we actually have an entirely different assortment of dressings that I don't tell people about the first time they ask, because they don't deserve these great secret dressings. But now that you have proven your worth, I will show you to the VIP room, where the array of salad dressings will dazzle and delight you. — Caprice Crane

Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who has one-night stands, and instead of feeling guilty about it feels empowered by it. But I'm not. — Caprice Crane

One moment follows another. Next comes from previous. So you have to stay on your toes. Protect yourself. Listen to that little voice inside you that says, "Don't do that! You won't like the consequences." Look at all the stuff that's happened to you along the twisting road of your life - good and bad — Caprice Crane

All of my most significant moments somehow involved music. It's like my life was a John Hughes film and somebody had to put together the perfect soundtrack. — Caprice Crane

If you have a good date, it's nice to text them afterward to say "thanks." But if they were totally lame, it's fun to text "unsubscribe." — Caprice Crane

And it's not that Pearl Jam was any more amazing than anyone else. I think we just liked who we were when they were who they were. — Caprice Crane

Believing there's no such thing as luck is very unlucky. Like, the worst. Beyond stealing someone's lucky four-leaf clover. — Caprice Crane

I tend to think the good outweighs the bad. Then again, I try to be a glass-half-full person. Although I stand by my theory that if you measure your happiness by the amount of liquid in your glass, you are either a cliche or an alcoholic. — Caprice Crane

Wendy warmed my heart, earned my trust, touched my soul, and then touched me in a lot of other places. And right after we'd slept together for the very first time she looked up at me with her chocolate-brown, trustworthy doe eyes and said, I've got herpes. I thought you should know. — Caprice Crane

I learned to accept my family for who they were and understand that, though they might be limited in certain areas, they all had good qualities that I could appreciate. — Caprice Crane

That red spot!" she says with alarm.
"That's a freckle!"
"It wasn't there before ... " she says as she inspects her entire arm.
"It's cute."
"It's not cute."
"Then it's mine," I say. "If you don't like it, it's mine. I'll call it Brady."
"My freckle?"
"Yes."
"You're naming my freckle after yourself?" she says. "And you think I have issues?"
"It's like a star. People buy stars in the constellation and name them after people al the time. As gifts."
"So then are you buying my freckle? Because I don't know if you can afford my freckle. My freckles don't come cheap, you know."
"I've already claimed it," I declare. "It's not up for discussion anymore. Just eat your ice cream. And don't spill any on Brady. — Caprice Crane

I didn't want to accept failure. Even though sometimes the strength it takes to admit failure is probably worth as much as the determination not to quit. So there you have, I was stuck fighting for a relationship with a boyfriend who, in truth be told, I'd rather forget ever existed. — Caprice Crane

You need a little bit of the crazy to keep things fun. — Caprice Crane

It's probably those lactose-intolerant freaks. We all know there's nothing cool about intolerance. — Caprice Crane

What made pigs different? Why were they bred for food and held in captivity, while dogs and cats were welcomed into our homes and treated like family? Aside from physicality, we could see no difference between her and our dogs. — Caprice Crane

I don't know where she comes up with this stuff. Her mind ... it's like I've come upon this secret vault that science will someday discover - or probably never discover. Which is fine by me. Kind of like when there's a band I really like but nobody knows about them. I want people I like to hear them, but when the whole world jumps on the bandwagon I get pissed. Because I found them first.
Unless, of course, it's one of my bands ... in which case the world is more than welcome to jump. But Heaven ... I'd prefer it if nobody else jumps on her. — Caprice Crane

My dad says it's because I haven't met the right girl yet, but sometimes I think maybe I've met her five times already but ended up staring at her friend all night and asking her out, the one who would eventually steal eighty dollars out of my wallet to pay for a bikini wax, which I never got to see. — Caprice Crane

People often say that writing is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. This is nonsense, of course. It's pretty much one hundred percent caffeine. — Caprice Crane

The character doesn't even come out until people are tested and be put in extreme situations and most people spend their lives trying to avoid those kinds of situations. — Caprice Crane

People make changes in their life, and they blend and assimilate. They find a way to make it work. That's where I've always taken the wrong turn. By not taking a turn at all. — Caprice Crane

I simply never found a specific club that I could bring myself to be passionate about. I was having enough trouble finding one person to be passionate about, let alone a whole club! — Caprice Crane

It wasn't until later, when I was lying in bed, alone with my thoughts,that I felt uneasy feeling return.
This is why you should never be alone with your thoughts, I thought. You thoughts are shitty company. They eat all the pizza and don't help clean up and they make you get all freaked out about the future. — Caprice Crane