Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bill Cosby Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy the top 100 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Bill Cosby.

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Famous Quotes By Bill Cosby

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I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door. — Bill Cosby

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I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children. — Bill Cosby

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The absolute truth is that there is no power in celebrity. — Bill Cosby

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I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms-it had nothing to do with the color of them-I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family. — Bill Cosby

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice. — Bill Cosby

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Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much. — Bill Cosby

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You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger. — Bill Cosby

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I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards. — Bill Cosby

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Every father says the same thing: "Where's your mother?" — Bill Cosby

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Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.' — Bill Cosby

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My wife and I have five children. And the reason why we have five children is because we do notwantsix. — Bill Cosby

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Most fathers and ... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it. — Bill Cosby

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When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students. — Bill Cosby

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We are all anxious to be accepted. But if you have a strong mother and father who tell you that you don't have to dress a crazy way, or hang out with people who are looking for trouble in order to be loved and accepted, then half the battle is over. — Bill Cosby

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Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in. — Bill Cosby

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My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born. — Bill Cosby

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When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made. — Bill Cosby

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Romance is a different word than sexual contact. — Bill Cosby

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People say to me, 'Do you know who you look like?' And I say, 'I'm really tired of looking like that guy.' — Bill Cosby

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My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals. — Bill Cosby

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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. — Bill Cosby

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Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes. — Bill Cosby

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YOU are a genius! ... and I am a genius because I married you. — Bill Cosby

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In September of 1960, I was blessed - and I'm not saying blessed in the everyday religious way - when Temple University accepted me after scoring 500 on the SAT. I was 23 years old, and they put me in remedial. I was the happiest remedial person on earth. — Bill Cosby

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The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.' — Bill Cosby

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Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. — Bill Cosby

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What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name. — Bill Cosby

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Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" — Bill Cosby

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I've said all along I've never competed with 'The Simpsons.' Not in my own mind. — Bill Cosby

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If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!' — Bill Cosby

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Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. — Bill Cosby

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You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend. — Bill Cosby

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It was the arts, those noble expressions of the human spirit that are communicated through literature, dance, song, film, drama, painting and sculpture, among the many other such creative means, that helped articulate the sufferings of [these] people that were heard around the globe. — Bill Cosby

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By the 1960s, many of us believed that the Civil Rights Movement could eliminate racism in America during our lifetime. But despite significant progress, racism remains. — Bill Cosby

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When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody. — Bill Cosby

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When my son was murdered, people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said, 'No, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil, and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil.' — Bill Cosby

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It's more blessed to give than to receive
especially kittens. — Bill Cosby

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I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive. — Bill Cosby

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The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them. — Bill Cosby

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Grandparents are God's gifts to children. — Bill Cosby

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The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love. — Bill Cosby

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only stupid one's — Bill Cosby

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Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. — Bill Cosby

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Old is always fifteen years from now. — Bill Cosby

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The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse." — Bill Cosby

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I see Obama as Sisyphus in the first four years. And nobody would speak about the size of the rock, or the elevation of the hill. All you hear people talk about is what he didn't do. — Bill Cosby

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Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand. — Bill Cosby

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I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way. — Bill Cosby

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I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see ... We have about six television sets in our house, and it's less expensive for me to do a television series than it is for me to throw them all out. — Bill Cosby

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My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you. — Bill Cosby

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Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is. — Bill Cosby

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Nobody asked you to flip burgers for the rest of your life. — Bill Cosby

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A pelican that is wet walks with a gaited limp, and the dry fish swims alone. — Bill Cosby

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The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child. — Bill Cosby

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Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be able to have clarity and to be able to think. Those are the greatest of gifts. — Bill Cosby

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I love Twitter, but some people use profanity so much that at some point it's like saying, 'Pass the salt.' — Bill Cosby

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A father ... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested. — Bill Cosby

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A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child. — Bill Cosby

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When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that. — Bill Cosby

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I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there. — Bill Cosby

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We've got too many young girls, who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents. — Bill Cosby

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People will frighten you about a graduation ... They use words you don't hear often ... — Bill Cosby

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How long can you tread water? — Bill Cosby

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I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. — Bill Cosby

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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. — Bill Cosby

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Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce. — Bill Cosby

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We're not raising children with the love that we need to. — Bill Cosby

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People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain. — Bill Cosby

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All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right — Bill Cosby

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You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful. — Bill Cosby

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There are two sides to every story, and sometimes three, four, and five. — Bill Cosby

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There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. — Bill Cosby

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I'm old, not dead. — Bill Cosby

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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. — Bill Cosby

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Karl Malden was a good friend of mine, and he said, 'You draw the people to you,' and I guess that's what I do. — Bill Cosby

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That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. — Bill Cosby

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There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long. — Bill Cosby

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I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking. — Bill Cosby

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I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. — Bill Cosby

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There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess. — Bill Cosby

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A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone. — Bill Cosby

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I was put in remedial everything. — Bill Cosby

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If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk.
If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race. — Bill Cosby

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It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. — Bill Cosby

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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it. — Bill Cosby

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I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways. — Bill Cosby

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If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it — Bill Cosby

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If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get. — Bill Cosby

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It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful. — Bill Cosby

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With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers. — Bill Cosby

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Everybody is not a victim. — Bill Cosby

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We are the only animals that let our kids come back home. — Bill Cosby

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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now. — Bill Cosby

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I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave the way for the Obama family. People enjoyed watching that black family. — Bill Cosby

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Most of us learn to read by looking at each word in a sentence - one at a time. — Bill Cosby

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Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug. — Bill Cosby

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Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. — Bill Cosby

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The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation. — Bill Cosby

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'The Cosby Show' made an impact on comedy, television and culture. We rejected lowering the bar. — Bill Cosby

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Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice. — Bill Cosby