Ashlan Thomas Quotes & Sayings

I tugged at the bottom hem of his tank. "Why do you heart roosters?"
His brow quirked. "Really, Mags? If I need to explain this to you, you're worse off than I thought."
It took me another twenty seconds. "Oh. Cock. Got it. — Ashlan Thomas

Stepping out of the kitchen, Ben glared at him. "I have no problem kicking your ass."

"I'm sure there are a lot of things you like to do with asses. — Ashlan Thomas

Will there be anything else? Want to know my blood type? Time of the month? Social security number?"
Thinking that over, I nodded. "And your astrological sign would be helpful."
"If you want to know any of that about me, it's time you get a hobby. Maybe start a navel fluff collection, take up extreme ironing, or dress like a pirate."
"I'd make a damn fine pirate. — Ashlan Thomas

Raphael had taken notice of Greg at lunchtime - it was hard not to being that he was the biggest human at school. Raphael was pleased to have a class with him. I knew this because he said so in his non-stop Gregory Johnson commentary: What astounding athletic skills that Gregory Johnson must have. Gregory Johnson could slay a battalion of enemy soldiers wielding nothing but a sword. What a pity Gregory Johnson's soul was not meant to become an angel. My hairstyle would look exceptional on Gregory Johnson. Evidently, the human-first-name-only-concept was lost to Archangels. — Ashlan Thomas

Abigail Miller. I, Alexander Wright, already have your heart, as you have mine. I will never stop trying to fall for you until my heart beats as a human does. I will always reach out to hold you, a piece of my soul to make me complete. I will never stop loving you, not even when both of our hands are old and wrinkled. — Ashlan Thomas

You're gonna need a lot more than prayers, kid. — Ashlan Thomas

Her pain was so unexpected, so raw, and deep, a penetrating, all-encompassing pain. It was no longer her pain, but ours. Whatever her thoughts were, brought tears to her eyes, lips trembled, and her fists clenched as though she were ready to crumble into ash. It was impossible to stop my own tears from coming. What I wouldn't give to take this ache from her. — Ashlan Thomas

I was turning into one of those ABC Afterschool Specials that we were forced to watch as kids. — Ashlan Thomas

Her head swung around as if it had become detached from her spine. "My God! Your brother is HOT!"
Calista shook her head and looped an arm around the woman's waist. "Yes, he is. I'll be sure to tell my family you thought so."
"It doesn't count when they're drunk. House rule," I complained. — Ashlan Thomas

Never doubt me. Never doubt our love. Above all else, know it was an extraordinary gift to love you, to be your husband, even if for just a day." I choked on my next words. "I forgot to tell you. Our wedding day. That was the best day of my existence." My eyes overflowed with tears in disbelief I had to leave her. Another broken promise. — Ashlan Thomas

You're the only reason I exist. — Ashlan Thomas

Third person, really? That's so sixteen hundreds. — Ashlan Thomas

I knew it was coming. That question. It was like he had a freaking daily quota to hit. — Ashlan Thomas

You will feel the burning of Hell from inside your skin, itching and painful like writhing worms burrowing into your bones. You cannot escape it, you cannot beg your way out. A day here is a hundred there. Your dirty soul will feed Lucifer and the greater demons around him for eternity. You can't be anything more than a slave. — Ashlan Thomas

I want you to be my wife, I want you to have my children, and I want to build a life with you. This is the face I want to wake up to until my heart gives out. — Ashlan Thomas

I am pretty impressive. — Ashlan Thomas

He looked like Heaven, and he would soon be all mine. — Ashlan Thomas

The life I had known scattered like the ashes of my wings, to be born again in the pure light of Abby's love. — Ashlan Thomas

What was wrong with these angels tonight? Did they eat bad manna or something? — Ashlan Thomas

I know. I must be pretty spectacular. — Ashlan Thomas

Fantastic. The entire house is here to watch the Battle of the Velveteen Bed. — Ashlan Thomas

It's a dirty, dirty job, Abby, but I'm up to the challenge." A wag of his brows and a wicked grin had me laughing at his innuendo. — Ashlan Thomas

No one was coming to save me. I was alone. I welcomed the darkness to take me, and I closed my eyes to this world. — Ashlan Thomas

I'm sorry, is there a revival of Shakespeare's Caesar I don't know about. — Ashlan Thomas

God, Himself, could have ripped the heart out of my chest and crushed it in His mighty grip and that pain would have paled in comparison to this. Abby crumbled to the floor and cried, splitting me apart. I stumbled out the door and just left her there to suffer. — Ashlan Thomas

Nothing in my life could prepare me for the utter devastation that three-letter word held at this moment. He had given his heart to another. Another broken promise, the one that carried the most hurt. — Ashlan Thomas

I have to keep up appearances. I do roll with angels now. — Ashlan Thomas

Did you know your dancing is atrocious? I seriously think there is something wrong with your inner ear. No other human moves so unnaturally to music. — Ashlan Thomas

No, Xander. Not this time. You don't lie to someone you're in love with. You don't keep secrets from each other. But you do. You don't trust me. You went inside my head and took something from me and you think it's okay. It's not! I'm not your human pet who you can do whatever you want with. — Ashlan Thomas

I love you, my Abby, above all else, know this. I would give up everything for a life together. Heaven could never compare to you. — Ashlan Thomas

In those eyes, I saw it, a longing for me and I knew the same thoughts were running through her mind, that any space between us was intolerable. Separation was against nature, against the Heavens. — Ashlan Thomas

I swore with his newfound love of bathing, I would see Isaac in human clothes next. If he started wearing skinny jeans, I would have to intervene. — Ashlan Thomas

I welcomed the blackness to take me, swallow my soul, for I was unworthy of His Gifts. He knew all along and punished us for our arrogance. I deserved Hell. I deserved to be dragged into a chasm of eternal pain. — Ashlan Thomas

Always one to accept a compliment graciously, Wright. — Ashlan Thomas

I heard if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Let me tell you, I've always hated that saying. — Ashlan Thomas

Oh, I liked the beard. It covered more of your face. — Ashlan Thomas

Flinging myself against the headrest, I glared at his knees thinking how I would like to ram his kneecaps with the Explorer. He'd probably just dent the damn metal. After a groan that I meant to be obnoxiously loud because he couldn't see my eye roll, I threw the gear back into drive. He was such a sneaky angel. — Ashlan Thomas

It was then I realized that all men really were the same. It was only a matter of time before they revealed the dragon within. — Ashlan Thomas

While you may be by yourself, alone you are not. It was not an act of coincidence you have been given four Guardians. Nor was it a coincidence I answered the prayers of your Guardians. Your purpose has yet to be revealed. We are not meant to understand His Design, but rest assured, He is with you. He is watching. He has not abandoned you. — Ashlan Thomas

Seeing you like this tonight makes me think of how much I want to marry you. Me in a tux, and you in a gorgeous dress with the hair and makeup and sparkles and heels. A beautiful reception where we share our first dance as husband and wife. And afterward, the seal between us will become permanent under God. Our wedding night will be the best night of my existence. It was foolish of me to assign it so quickly, but you make me do foolish things. — Ashlan Thomas

Abby, I would fight all the Heavenly Choirs for you. — Ashlan Thomas

Oh, Raphael. Maybe just kill it next time instead of skinning it?"
He looked to his hands and flicked the thick liquid off. "My apologies, Abigail Wright. It has been quite some time since I dispatched a demon. I became carried away. I will try to remember your request for a cleaner kill."
A second wave of bile rose. I couldn't stop looking at it. "Thanks, Raphael, me and my stomach would be grateful. — Ashlan Thomas

Confusion and shame rode me hard, and as much as I knew it was wrong, I needed to keep a distance from her. I couldn't care about her. Maggie was temporary, and when she was gone, that hole I desperately tried to patch over would rip right back open. There was no point in letting her in. — Ashlan Thomas

I'll let you get back to sweating and grunting."
"You probably shouldn't leave then. — Ashlan Thomas

I'm not judging you. If you want to take a break to look at tree dicks, we'll take one. — Ashlan Thomas

I knew I was disoriented, but I was pretty sure intestines were supposed to be inside my body cavity. — Ashlan Thomas

Well, if I came any earlier, I would have missed the nudie-show. Thank goodness for good timing. — Ashlan Thomas

I just looked at the parts above the knees to below your neck if that helps. — Ashlan Thomas

My focus went to one spot. The spot where we knelt and called the Second Choir, praying for them to save her, only to be denied again. — Ashlan Thomas

With her words, the world could spin again. It took great restraint to not unfurl my wings and fly Abby around the mountain, pronouncing to anyone with ears that she loved me. Abigail Miller loved me. — Ashlan Thomas

I tried like hell to hide how painful this was, how much my heart was breaking, how much it hurt to breathe. — Ashlan Thomas

Isaac sat up in bed and glared at Nathan. I think he wanted to kick him out or smother Nathan with a pillow. Either way, I couldn't blame him. — Ashlan Thomas

There was so much time lost and the Hell was over. Just when I was beginning to lose faith, Abby pulled me out of the dark.
She was my light. Pure and beautiful. — Ashlan Thomas

Well, a bikini is even less clothing, that won't help, but go ahead and change. — Ashlan Thomas

Do you typically wear men's clothes or is that an American thing? — Ashlan Thomas

I've never said hello to a pretty girl alone in the woods at night with my pants unzipped, holding my dick. You, Caleb?'
'Can't say that I have. But I have said hello by breaking arms before. It has the unfortunate side effect of impairing one's ability to hold their dick.'
'That sounds painful,' Xander observed.
Caleb said, 'Ah. That would explain the screaming. — Ashlan Thomas

Next time, I'll get a male stripper. All parties should be equal opportunity hard-ons. What do you like? Cops? Firemen? — Ashlan Thomas

I looked up to the Heavens gauging the distance. Maybe I could catapult Raphael back with an epic kick to the ass. — Ashlan Thomas

It was like Jerry McGuire. I was poor, starstruck Dorothy - minus the kid and the vagina - and Ben was Show Me the Money Jerry and he never gave me a chance to have him at hello."
"I have no clue what you just said."
He waved me off. "I'm well aware, but it was a perfect comparison that shouldn't go to waste. — Ashlan Thomas

When did we get Watermelon Oreos? That just sounded so wrong. — Ashlan Thomas

He could see what I hadn't until now. She was my weakness and he would exploit it by doing what I could not. He would have her. He would kill her.
But what if I could have her? What if I could make her mine?
Only mine. — Ashlan Thomas

My thoughts drifted to Abby and everything she would miss. No more opening packages of salad mix because she couldn't cook worth a damn. She wouldn't flail her limbs to music and call it dancing again. She wouldn't make me cringe when she tried to hit the high note of a song.
Never again would she hold my brother, kiss him, and tell him how much she loved him. Never again would he find joy in a sunrise because it would only remind him of her smile. She would never marry Alexander and they would never have children to share their love with. Her future was stolen from her, without remorse. My family and all I loved were in that room, being ripped away from me. — Ashlan Thomas

Maggie had no clue that looking at her was like being stabbed in the gut. No clue that she ripped my heart to pieces by just standing in front of me. This girl had no clue that her very existence shredded my soul. — Ashlan Thomas

She had no idea how much I wanted to make her my wife, no clue as to how many nights I fell asleep with that image on my mind. — Ashlan Thomas

I examined the ten feet I would have to walk alone and remembered my left mind made me a moron. — Ashlan Thomas

I want to run my finger over the lip you're biting and kiss you. I wouldn't stop there. I would fly you far away from here and practice for days with you. That's what I want to do. Just so you know. — Ashlan Thomas

If you fall apart, it's a bad omen for the rest of the couples on Earth. — Ashlan Thomas

Did you know I've been in love with you, your entire life? Did you know I truly believe you were made for me, a part of me, our fates bound together? Your heart, albeit weak, was meant for me and only me. — Ashlan Thomas

Abby, come on. No guy on this planet would say no to their girl in the famous metal bikini. — Ashlan Thomas

I have been tied up, my apologies, Abigail Miller." He chuckled deeply at his corny joke and I would have rolled my eyes, but considering he just took an epic fall, I let him have this one. — Ashlan Thomas

How could Gabriel not sense it? How did I know something an Archangel didn't?
Abby had a pure soul. — Ashlan Thomas

A groan rumbled through him as he kissed me like an oxygen-starved man and I was his air. — Ashlan Thomas

Yes, when the man you're in love with is breaking up with you, this is the typical human female response." I waved frantically at myself. "Hysterical crying on the side of the road, yelling at an invisible, glowing giant. — Ashlan Thomas

I was actually drowning in a pool full of people and I knew how to swim. I wondered how long it would take someone to realize there was a dead body in the pool. Would I sink or bounce on the surface like a floating chlorinator? — Ashlan Thomas

If you hear screaming, it's my meltdown. Do me a favor and make sure I stay dressed."
Those hazel eyes took their sweet time taking in every inch of my body. "I make no promises. — Ashlan Thomas

I don't burn, but if you're offering to rub your hands all over my body, I sure as hell wouldn't stop you. — Ashlan Thomas

Oh, you poor angel. I know I joke, but I think perhaps you are a few feathers short of a wing. — Ashlan Thomas

I slugged his rock of an arm and noticed the slight movement as his shoulder rolled back - it wasn't to avoid being hit, more like he was trying to save my hand. How strong was he? — Ashlan Thomas

Why do you have to be so damn wonderful all the time? Especially now!"
"I can't help it. I am what I am. — Ashlan Thomas

Raphael's citrine eyes flashed in the night. Leaning down to me, his look wiped any smile from my face, full of promise. "I was asked to dirty the Earth with you, you filthy bastard. — Ashlan Thomas

The impossible happened. Your stomach is full. — Ashlan Thomas

You are the missing piece to make me human. I feel it, coursing through me. I have no doubts. You were made for me, we were meant to be one. — Ashlan Thomas

I wasn't all that sure God existed because there was no explaining why He hated me so much. It wasn't as though He'd learned not to like me; it was more like one of those insta-hates that only intensified without any reason. And He loved screwing me over. Like it was His favorite pastime or something. Like He really had nothing else better to do than fuck with my life. Just when I thought there wasn't one more obstacle He could throw my way, He proved me wrong.
More than God loved screwing me over, He really loved proving me wrong. — Ashlan Thomas

The second issue, which was a big one, her hands shook like she had DTs. I was tempted to go to the liquor store and get her a bottle of Jack to calm her down. The rest of her body was completely still except at the wrists. Strangest thing I'd ever seen.
Vibrators for hands. — Ashlan Thomas

Leaning back, she studied me, knuckles brushing along my jaw. "You've turned into a man overnight, it seems. Just yesterday, this face was three years old with a samurai turtle Band-Aid on your cheek."
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mom. Way more awesome than samurais."
"You're right. Ninjas have masks and nut chucks."
Any other time I would have laughed. "Nunchakus."
"I know, but you definitely did some damage to your nuts that I think you should get checked out before you have children. I meant to tell you years ago. — Ashlan Thomas

Strange that I knew it would end this way. Not in battle, but in a dirty alley, alone, hiding among the filth like the coward I was.
My poetic ending. — Ashlan Thomas

Are you trying to cram the whole week into her mouth right now? Don't your tongues ever get tired? — Ashlan Thomas

I'm only sensitive in the area that counts, Sticks."
"The soft spot on your skull that never hardened? — Ashlan Thomas

His first stretch alerted me to a concerning issue. "Um, Raphael, I think you should change."
Biceps bulged, thigh muscles popped, and I was fairly certain he just added another pack to his abs. "I am quite comfortable, Abigail Miller."
I crossed my arms. "Well, I'm not. I know you go commando under your skirt and I don't want to see angel parts I wasn't meant to see."
He shot me a sideways glance. "You have seen said angel parts on Alexander. Mine are much more impressive, however."
My mouth and eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! I cannot believe you said that, Raphael. And it was an accident!"
He continued to stare.
"I was bleeding to death!"
He tilted his head at me, remaining silent.
I threw up my arms. "Fine, wear the damn skirt. But you had better keep things tucked in. Any hint of said angel parts and this is over."
Raphael smiled. He won? How did he do that? He was diabolical. — Ashlan Thomas

There were too many of my happiest days and they all revolved around him. But I could only think of the moment Xander's tears were his heaviest and his words incredibly pained. — Ashlan Thomas

I have singular tastes. The Alexander Wright. He is tall, dark, handsome, unique, and heavenly. — Ashlan Thomas

Good. How about you find the balls that are attached to your dicks, draw them out of your abdominal cavity and show me."
"You want to see our testicles, Coach?" Mike asked, making his way backward down his ladder.
"Maybe when I find my magnifying glass, Mr. Brown! I won't be able to tell the difference between what you call testicles and raisins."
Mike gasped for air. "My balls are sweeter, sir!"
Lids narrowed over his black marbles. "Glad to know how flexible you are, Mr. Brown. That'll come in handy for the rest of my practice." Watkins added with a growl, "If you are still alive. — Ashlan Thomas

Well, I found I am my own best company. I don't annoy myself and I always have something important I want to hear myself say. — Ashlan Thomas

I am speaking English, correct? I ask because sometimes I speak another language without meaning to. — Ashlan Thomas

The good news is my almost-boyfriend was ready to pound Eric's face for you."
"Almost-boyfriend? Don't you gays usually move a lot faster than this? I thought you were supposed to shack up together on the second date and adopt a cat so you had something to dress up in a tutu. — Ashlan Thomas

I like me for you. — Ashlan Thomas

In case I forget to tell you, this was the best night of my existence. — Ashlan Thomas

Someone had ripped the heart right out of my chest like that creepy Indian priest rocking a skull-hat adorned with a shrunken head in The Temple of Doom. I had no idea if it was even physically possible to rip a heart out of a human chest with just a hand, but there really was no other way to explain this feeling. — Ashlan Thomas

Rainbow what? Are you searching for a pot of gold? Tiny leprechauns? Hoping to catch the elusive pegacorn? — Ashlan Thomas

I made a snap decision between pink and black. I didn't want to seem like a pervert digging around in your lingerie drawer.'
'No, you're a pervert for gawking at me from below the neck to above my knees. — Ashlan Thomas