Alexandra Robbins Quotes & Sayings

A St. Louis oncology nurse quoted Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl to States News Service in 2012: " 'What is to give light must endure burning.' I think people who care for others understand. Caregiving is painful. — Alexandra Robbins

Being indie means being artistic and finding your own eccentric identity. The name of the game for being an indie kid is to never admit you are one. If you do, it goes against your beliefs against labeling, thus making you a hypocrite. — Alexandra Robbins

There are no consequences for poor work ethic and no rewards for good work ethic. — Alexandra Robbins

Adults tell students that it gets better, that the world changes after school, that being 'different' will pay off sometime after graduation. But no one explains to them why. — Alexandra Robbins

No student should be encouraged
by anyone
to change himself until he's "normal," a term that says everything and means nothing. — Alexandra Robbins

You need to add a new voice inside your head, one that says, "So what?" What if you don't get married by 30? So what? What if you haven't paid off your loans or debt by 35? So what? What if you're not a stand-out success by 28? So what? If you were to achieve everything you wanted in life by the age of 30, then what would you do for the next fifty years? You have time. You don't have to get to everything right now. — Alexandra Robbins

The cafeteria made him feel like an observer rather than a participant in the high school experience. — Alexandra Robbins

Students usually don't refer to themselves as nerds until someone else accuses them of being one. — Alexandra Robbins

Conformity is not an admirable trait. Conformity is a copout. It threatens self-awareness. It can lead groups to enforce rigid and arbitrary rules. — Alexandra Robbins

Sometimes Eli believed his mother was embarrassed by him. "I swear, my mom thinks if I do one thing differently than the average person, I'm weird," Eli said later. "It's like she thinks I'm a freak or something. No matter what I do, it's not 'normal' enough for her. — Alexandra Robbins

Instead of revamping school policies to welcome every child, many school systems are bent on revamping the students to conform to their schools. — Alexandra Robbins

Medicine asked something extraordinary of nurses: to forge intimate connections with another person for hours, weeks, or months, to care thoroughly and holistically - and then to let that individual suddenly go, often never to be heard from again. — Alexandra Robbins

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, male nurses ride the "glass escalator"; although they are in the minority, they receive higher wages and faster promotions than women in the same jobs. — Alexandra Robbins

Unshackled by strict yet arbitrary, misguided norms, outcasts can be, look, act, and associate however they want. And in this ever conformist, cookie-cutter, magazine-celebrity-worshipping, creativity-stifling society, the innovation, courage, and differences of the cafeteria fringe are vital to America's culture and progress. Which is why we must celebrate them. — Alexandra Robbins

In the minds of their peers, too often students become caricatures of themselves. — Alexandra Robbins

It was the fact that they tried so hard that doomed them. — Alexandra Robbins

The only way I'm going to make any friends is if I take the first step. — Alexandra Robbins

When a child sees herself through the prism of her peer group, the resulting self image can be distorted. — Alexandra Robbins

Nothing is more unnerving to the truly conventional than the unashamed misfit. — Alexandra Robbins

The Academy ER had a sticker sheet of glittery Oscar statues that were reserved for patients who put on Oscar-worthy acts. The nurses would stick one on a patient's chart so that everyone who treated the patient knew what to expect. Some staffers didn't like Oscar because it gave the practitioners preconceived notions. But Molly thought it was funny and a stress reliever. — Alexandra Robbins

The trade-off seems like a no-brainer. Would you rather be bribed during your hospital stay with made-to-order omelets or would you rather be, for example, not dead? — Alexandra Robbins

If there is a single factor that spells out the difference between the cafeteria fringe headed for greatness and those doomed for low self-worth, even more than a caring teacher or a group of friends, it is supportive, accepting parents who not only love their children unconditionally, but also don't make them feel as if their idiosyncrasies qualify as "conditions" in the first place. — Alexandra Robbins

Students didn't much like those who verbally or physically beat the crap out of them. But when researchers began measuring aggression alongside perceived popularity, they found an undeniably strong link. Recent studies conclude that aggressive behaviors are now often associated with high social status. Psychologists no longer view aggression as a last-resort tactic of social misfits. Now they see aggression as a means toward social success. (This does not, however, mean it is admired.) — Alexandra Robbins

What made Einstein special was his impertinence, his nonconformity, and his distaste for dogma. Einstein's genius reminds us that a society's competitive advantage comes not from teaching the multiplication or periodic tables but from nurturing rebels. Grinds have their place, but unruly geeks change the world. (Walter Issacson, Wired) — Alexandra Robbins

I tend to focus on young people and on giving a voice to groups of people who don't normally get their voices heard. — Alexandra Robbins

I would hate to be in high school now. Psychologists talk about the 'imaginary audience' that teens seem to feel they have around them and that makes them think they have to keep up their image all the time. Now with Facebook and MySpace and 24/7 online access, that imaginary audience has become real. — Alexandra Robbins

Polarization (is) a tendency for groups to form judgments that are more extreme than individuals' personal opinions. — Alexandra Robbins

There are three elements to perceived popularity. A student has to be visible, recognizable and influential. — Alexandra Robbins

My heart broke not only for the daughter who already was forced to become her mother's alarmingly narrow ideal, but also for the middle daughter who knew that her in mother's mind she had already failed. — Alexandra Robbins

It is unacceptable that the system we rely on to develop children into well-adjusted, learned, cultured adults allows drones to dominate and increasingly devalues freethinkers. — Alexandra Robbins

I love my job, and I hope people find comfort in knowing there are still people out there who love what they do. - a New York acute care nurse — Alexandra Robbins

Since 'The Overachievers' came out, I've been doing a lot of lectures and talking to kids across the country. — Alexandra Robbins

Conformity is a mask behind which students can hide their identity or the fact that they haven't yet figured out their identity. — Alexandra Robbins

By treating patients like customers, as nurse Amy Bozeman pointed out in a Scrubs magazine article, hospitals succumb to the ingrained cultural notion that the customer is always right. "Now we are told as nurses that our patients are customers, and that we need to provide excellent service so they will maintain loyalty to our hospitals," Bozeman wrote. "The patient is NOT always right. They just don't have the knowledge and training." Some hospitals have hired "customer service representatives," but empowering these nonmedical employees to pander to patients' whims can backfire. Comfort is not always the same thing as healthcare. As Bozeman suggested, when representatives give warm blankets to feverish patients or complimentary milk shakes to patients who are not supposed to eat, and nurses take them away, patients are not going to give high marks to the nurses. — Alexandra Robbins

It was a relief to inhabit someone else's life for a while, to get her personal issues for a brief respite. In a play, she knew exactly how all her character's problems would be resolved. No matter how the cast performed, the end turned out the same. No questions, no worries, no unknowns. — Alexandra Robbins

Nursing was a deeply interpersonal profession in which people had to depend on others - doctors, techs, fellow nurses - to do their job well. — Alexandra Robbins

Many of the differences that cause students to be excluded in school are actually the same qualities or skills that other people are going to admire, respect or value about that person in adulthood. — Alexandra Robbins

A solution to many of the issues in this book, and one that would go a long way toward fixing American healthcare, is relatively clear: Treasure nurses. Hire more. Nurses are perennially the number-one most trusted profession in America, according to an annual Gallup poll rating honesty and ethical standards. They are called to an exhausting commitment in which mortals must sustain an unwavering grace at the edge of life and death, almost divinely slowing heartbeats, hurrying them along, or pounding them back into existence. Nurses are exceptional. So why aren't they treated accordingly? — Alexandra Robbins

Unruly geeks change the world — Alexandra Robbins

J. K. Rowling has said that she was bullied in school. She was a daydreamer and had her nose in books all the time, much like some of her characters today. — Alexandra Robbins

Social standing does not necessarily translate to social acceptance. — Alexandra Robbins

Nobody's listening to me, he thought, story of my life. — Alexandra Robbins

Random, meaningless groups can adopt an us-versus-them mentality. — Alexandra Robbins

In one survey, respondents listed Princeton as one of the country's top ten law schools. The problem? Princeton doesn't have a law school — Alexandra Robbins

Popular kids don't necessarily know who they are because they're so busy trying to conform. It's the outcasts who are more attuned to who they are. They're more self-aware, more real. — Alexandra Robbins

Group membership can modify individuals' perceptions of themselves. Unable to separate their personal introspection from the ways they believe other people perceive them, teenagers may have what psychologists call an "imaginary audience", meaning that they believed that other people are just as attuned to their appearance and behavior as they are. — Alexandra Robbins

I figure I'll win the fight in twenty years or so anyways when I end up with a decent life and their unemployed and living at home. — Alexandra Robbins

In 1994, the College Board changed the test's name from Scholastic Aptitude Test to the Scholastic Assessment Test. Now according to the College Board, the letters don't stand for anything anymore. Perhaps that itself is symbolic. — Alexandra Robbins

In the black sororities, they celebrate achievement academically, and they really do work toward community service. As much as the white sororities claim that's the case in their groups, it's not really so. White sororities focus on relationships. — Alexandra Robbins

I was what's known as a floater. I could sit at the edge of most cafeteria tables, but was never a part of any one group. I was also a dork. And still am. And proud! — Alexandra Robbins

A Health Affairs study comparing patient-satisfaction scores with HCAHPS surveys of almost 100,000 nurses showed that a better nurse work environment was associated with higher scores on every patient-satisfaction survey question. — Alexandra Robbins

You should wear what you want to wear and not worry about trying to paint yourself in a certain image because that self-awareness is what's going to help you become a more independent and more interesting and healthier adult. — Alexandra Robbins

If schools celebrated student scientists the same way they celebrate student athletes, more students would be encouraged to pursue the subject. Instead, science is considered nerdy because schools help students to paint it that way. — Alexandra Robbins

Nonconformists aren't just going against the grain; they're going against the brain. Either their brains aren't taking the easy way out to begin with, or in standing apart from their peers, these students are standing up to their biology. — Alexandra Robbins

Membership in small groups allows people to feel similar and different at the same time: similar because they are a part of a group in different because the group is separate from the masses. — Alexandra Robbins

Polarization is just one of many ways group membership can change an individual. Perhaps the most striking effect of group membership is that it can modify individuals' perceptions of themselves. Unable to separate their personal introspection from the ways they believe other people perceive them, teenagers may have what psychologists call an "imaginary audience," meaning they believe that other people are just as attuned to their appearance and behavior as they are (cue any pimple cream commercial). These perceptions can affect various aspects of their lives. For example, psychologists found that when Asian girls were subtly reminded about their Asian identity, they performed better on math tests. When they were subtly reminded about their gender, however, they performed worse. — Alexandra Robbins

Imagine what it must be like for teenagers who don't feel they have room to breathe in their own homes. If you are a parent reading this book, you care about your child. If she is quirky, unusual, or nonconformist, ask yourself whether you are doing everything you can to nurture her unusual interests, style, or skills, or whether instead you are directly or subtly pushing her to hide them. — Alexandra Robbins

He didn't realize that simply by mingling among various lunch tables, he was befriending people in different crowds, weaving together the fringes of the cafeteria. — Alexandra Robbins

It's not about what you've done; it's how you've experienced whatever has happened to you. Matt Lawrence in The Overachievers — Alexandra Robbins

Nursing is more than a career; it is a calling. Nurses are remarkable. Yet contemporary literature largely neglects them. — Alexandra Robbins

Groups satisfy our brain's natural inclination to make sense of hordes of people we encounter and observe. This quality is so inherent that children intuitively understand the need to form groups without adults having to teach them. — Alexandra Robbins

Teenage drinking has been declining since 1999, but students vastly overestimate their classmates' use of alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. For example, a study conducted at a Midwestern high school when teenage alcohol use was peaking found that students believed that 92% of their peers Frank alcohol and 85% smoked cigarettes. When researchers surveyed the school to unearth the actual statistics, they learned that 47% of students had consumed alcohol and 17% smoked. — Alexandra Robbins

Someone else's success is not your failure. — Alexandra Robbins

Every memory is a re-creation, not a playback. When we remember, we focus on certain facts and emotions, and become active participants in re-creating memories. — Alexandra Robbins

I love the free entertainment that patients provide. People say and do the most ridiculous things, and I've got a front row seat to the absurdity." - A Colorado travel nurse — Alexandra Robbins

Part of the problem is that people at our school don't listen. They just put on the headphones and tune out the world. It's intimidating. — Alexandra Robbins

Being an outsider doesn't necessarily indicate any sort of social failing. We do not view a tuba player as musically challenged if he cannot play the violin. — Alexandra Robbins

Although she was gregarious, she inadvertently separated herself from people because she was so often inside her own head, focusing on her creativity. — Alexandra Robbins

When I was in high school, I didn't feel like I had to pile on the APs in order to look good to colleges. High-achieving classmates didn't use private tutors. — Alexandra Robbins

Studies have shown that, at least among students, popularity equals visibility. — Alexandra Robbins

The human brain takes in information from other people and incorporates it with the information coming from its own senses, neuroscientist Gregory Berns has written. Many times, the group's opinion trumps the individual's before he even becomes aware of it. — Alexandra Robbins

When Department of Health and Human Services administrators decided to base 30 percent of hospitals' Medicare reimbursement on patient satisfaction survey scores, they likely figured that transparency and accountability would improve healthcare. — Alexandra Robbins

We live in the Age of Comparison. Too often, we deem our own achievements worthless if they fall short of others' standards. Our best isn't good enough if it's not as good as someone else's best. — Alexandra Robbins

Too many parents fail to understand that there is a difference between fitting in and being liked, that there is a difference between being "normal" and being happy. High school is temporary. Family is not. — Alexandra Robbins

He could be disciplined when he wanted to be. — Alexandra Robbins

Ignoring is a form of bullying because you're blocking that person out. It doesn't matter if you don't like somebody. That's fine. You don't have to. But you need to be cordial to and communicate with that person at work. — Alexandra Robbins

Gaming was "one of the only times when you only have to focus on one thing." But even more than that, "It's like an anchor. As long as I know it's there, it's part of me. It's some form of continuity that in my life I desperately need. — Alexandra Robbins

He comes in entirely as an outsider. He lets his mind wander. He's not endangering his academic position because he doesn't have one, and he can take those risks, — Alexandra Robbins

The aging aren't only the old; the aging are all of us. — Alexandra Robbins

Exclusion is common behavior. But that doesn't make it unchangeable. And that doesn't mean that anything is wrong with the cafeteria fringe. — Alexandra Robbins

How could he encapsulate in a pithy admissions-interview line all of his unique ideas and interests? — Alexandra Robbins

California nurse Jared Axen was holding a dying hospice patient's hand when he began to sing an old hymn. The woman, who didn't speak English, hadn't been responsive in days. But when Axen sang to her, she squeezed his hand, a response that soothed the woman's family. Six years later, Axen, a classically trained musician, sings to some of his patients every day. "It gives them their humanity back," he said. "Music is a common language that helps me connect with my patients." Many patients also claim to feel better and to need fewer pain medications, Axen said. "It's become a vital tool for my patients and their families. — Alexandra Robbins

If teachers are uncomfortable at their own school, they will pass on their uncertainties or negative attitude to students. — Alexandra Robbins

QUIRK THEORY: Many of the differences that cause a student to be excluded in school are the same traits or real-world skills that others will value, love, respect, or find compelling about that person in adulthood and outside of the school setting. — Alexandra Robbins

When healthcare is at its best, hospitals are four-star hotels, and nurses, personal butlers at the ready - at least, that's how many hospitals seem to interpret a government mandate. — Alexandra Robbins

In the midst of a crowd, an individual's layers of restraint peel away, revealing potentially barbaric instincts and a susceptibility to a crowd contagion. — Alexandra Robbins

There is nothing wrong with you just because you haven't yet met people who share your interests or outlook on life. Unless you are doing something unhealthy or destructive, take pride in your beliefs, passions, and values. Know that you will eventually meet people who will appreciate you for being you. — Alexandra Robbins

The 1970s, fewer than 25% of US residents lived in counties in which the presidential candidate won by landslide. 30 years later, that percentage has nearly doubled. — Alexandra Robbins

And when they are out in public, "we are secretly looking at people's arms to determine where we would start an IV," an Arizona nurse said. "Sometimes if I'm out with a group of nurses, we're like, 'Wow, look at those veins. I could hit those from across the room. — Alexandra Robbins

Some girls, of course, can be both popular and nice. But niceness involves treating others as equals [ ... ] — Alexandra Robbins

It is the nurse who holds the hand of a patient without a family, who talks to them while they take their last breaths, who aches for them while they die alone. It is the nurse who cleans the patient's body, wipes away the blood and fluids, and closes his eyes. It is the nurse who says good-bye to the patient for the last time, she said. — Alexandra Robbins

As a Minnesota agency nurse said, We are not just bed-making, drink-serving, poop-wiping, medication-passing assistants. We are much more. — Alexandra Robbins

Awkwardness defines my life. — Alexandra Robbins