Alexander Woollcott Quotes & Sayings

Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers. — Alexander Woollcott

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening — Alexander Woollcott

Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune. — Alexander Woollcott

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day. — Alexander Woollcott

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. — Alexander Woollcott

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix. — Alexander Woollcott

The two oldest professions in the world - ruined by amateurs. — Alexander Woollcott

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go. — Alexander Woollcott

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. — Alexander Woollcott

To all things clergic I am allergic. — Alexander Woollcott

The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it. — Alexander Woollcott

Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water. — Alexander Woollcott

Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking ... — Alexander Woollcott

I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf. — Alexander Woollcott

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. — Alexander Woollcott

Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite. — Alexander Woollcott

There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure. — Alexander Woollcott

His huff arrived and he departed in it. — Alexander Woollcott

At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's. — Alexander Woollcott

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars! — Alexander Woollcott

You haven't lived until you died in New York. — Alexander Woollcott

A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring. — Alexander Woollcott

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it. — Alexander Woollcott

Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city. — Alexander Woollcott

Nothing risque, nothing gained. — Alexander Woollcott