Alan Eisenstock Quotes & Sayings

Gabe!" she calls. "Dr. Gabe."

He looks at her blankly

"Don't you know me? You're my OB-GYN."

Gabe's eyes move instinctively from her face to her crotch. He stares between her legs for a beat. His face lights up in recognition, as if he has X-ray vision.

"Joanne! Sure . . . Joanne. How are you?"

Both Joanne and I break up. Gabe blushes.

"I see so many women," he says, making it worse. — Alan Eisenstock

...And Brick and I say in unison, "As long as I'm here."

This is a guy thing.

You never want to acknowledge that you and another guy had exactly the same thought in exactly the same words and that you spoke them aloud . . .at exactly the same time. If you're out on a date and this happens, this is a good thing. It's evidence that you and your date think alike, you're in sync, possibly even soul mates, and with some luck, you might get laid. When this occurs with two guys, it's simply freaky and should go by as if it never happened. — Alan Eisenstock

The silence lingers and we soak it up like a good steam. Men like silence. We believe in it. We crave it. To us, silence is equal to peace and synonymous with quiet. Thus the common gender-specific phrase uttered by men in homes throughout the world, usually in the evening and on weekends: "Can I please get some peace and quiet, please? — Alan Eisenstock