Aaron Blaylock Quotes & Sayings

America, I know we have our problems. I realize that the scale and our waistline
are foremost among them. I'm willing to make concessions, I really am. I drink, and prefer, skim milk. I'll take water packed tuna over oil packed tuna any day. I can stomach low-fat ranch or I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Anything. I'll even look the other way on sugar free ice cream (believe me that one hurts), but I'll be darned if I'm gonna let somebody take my delicious delicious pig fat from me. I'd rather die. — Aaron Blaylock

As a teenager Valentine's Day was a stressful time. Either I didn't have a "girlfriend" and was forced to endure a day of hearts, cards and stuffed animals parading through my loneliness or even worse I had a "girlfriend" and felt pressure to provide just the right combination of cards, candy and stuffed animals to show the appropriate level of affection. Are flowers and a card enough? Should I get her balloons? Does she like balloons? If I don't get her candy will she think I think she's fat? Why did I want a girlfriend again? Valentine's Day was a report card on how you were, or were not in some sad cases, perceived as "boyfriend" material. — Aaron Blaylock

Are bacon and chocolate the foundation of a good meal? No, everybody knows
that is a deep fryer and/or gravy. However, I have long held the notion that you can't name a food that I can't improve by adding either bacon or chocolate. — Aaron Blaylock

Can somebody tell me why it is that trips to Home Depot are like potato chips, you can never have just one? — Aaron Blaylock

As a society we've progressed to a point where it is unacceptable behavior to knock someone down who is acting a fool. I teach my children to use their words when faced with a conflict. That's what civilized people do. All that is fine and good except for one small thing; we've enabled the fools ...
... What if people could expect a measure of instant justice when they were out of order? The acts of thoughtlessness would decline exponentially. If you give people license to be fools then you are left to deal with fools. However, if you put fools on notice then they'll be forced to snap to attention and act right or suffer the consequences. Think of it as an adult spanking. — Aaron Blaylock

All that matters is that you be the very best you you can be ...
And that's something no one else can do. — Aaron Blaylock

The lesson here is temperament. Wanting something is fine but there's no need to
be reckless. If you've lost the upper hand in a relationship you've got no one to blame but yourself. Taking a relaxed or even an aloof approach sometimes is the wise path. Be cautious though because being indifferent or callous to someone you care about is just stupid.
The principle of least interest is like building a fire. You can't just stack piles and piles of wood on and light a match, you'll smother it. The fire needs fuel, it needs room to breathe. Put a little space between you and what you want, be willing to let it breathe, and before you know it you'll be enjoying the warmth and light from the flames. — Aaron Blaylock

...the word "fine". As in "I'm fine", "it's fine", "that looks fine", etc. For a man the word fine has, tops, three or four meanings and that's only because of the fairly recent edition of "Dang, girl! You look fine!" Otherwise "fine" would range somewhere between satisfactory and of superior quality. For a woman the word "fine" has like seventy meanings and depending on voice inflexion can actually mean 'If I'm questioned again I'll stab you in your sleep'. — Aaron Blaylock

Our plump predicament comes from the way we think. In America life has
become a daily quest for instant gratification. Do we think about the long term? Rarely. We ask ourselves, "What sounds good?" That's where we get into trouble focusing on what we want rather than what we need. Then we invent new ways to satisfy ourselves. — Aaron Blaylock

During my life I've had different goals for working out; to get stronger, to
increase stamina and flexibility, to improve performance in sports, to lose weight. I imagine that most people fall into those categories, but there is one underlying reason that motivates people to work out: to look better naked.
Of all the reasons people say they workout this is the most honest. Plus I take every opportunity to say naked. — Aaron Blaylock

Kids don't act right. Sure it's embarrassing when it happens but any reasonable person won't fault a parent when a kid throws a fit. However, when a child doesn't act right and a parent doesn't act at all then we've got a problem.
Parents get up off of your rears and parent your children. Please I beg you stop these little bedlamites from running amuck at church, in restaurants, at the movies, in the store or really anywhere that I may be. — Aaron Blaylock

Publishing your writing is a bewildering mix of emotions somewhere between parental angst and walking down a public beach wearing only a thong. [scrub all you want that mental picture isn't going anywhere] You feel all the pride and joy as well as the fear and trepidation that come with putting your child out into the world. At the same time you've exposed a part of yourself that is normally private and while you hope people will appreciate it, there is a very real possibility of a backlash.
You've prepared yourself for either eventuality but a 'no comment' feels like crickets chirping in your soul. — Aaron Blaylock

As a child Valentine's Day was fun. You got to design your own little heart-laden box to accept all your classmate's Valentine's. Then you'd get to fill in the To: and From: fields on your G.I. Joe cards (because nothing says "Be Mine" like Snake Eyes). I remember each time taking extra special care when filling out a card for the girl who I happened to like that particular year. When the day arrived and cards were exchanged I would rifle through my haul finding the one from whichever girl it was and kept it apart from the others. It was special even though I'm sure she'd written the exact same thing on mine that she'd written on everyone else's. No matter, love was given and received. Valentine's Day was for a young boy not yet mature enough to express his affections and for him to hold fast to even a token expression from the object those affections. — Aaron Blaylock

We've all become so conscious of how we'll be perceived and so frightened to
possibly offend someone that we've filtered ourselves to what borders on dishonesty. Sure, as my wife constantly reminds me, you don't have to say everything you think; but when did speaking plainly become such a sin? — Aaron Blaylock

As for the young men whose company I keep (Why does it keep sounding like
that?), I try to teach them that every young lady is somebody's sister or daughter with the potential to be somebody's wife and mother. I ask them, "Would you want
somebody treating your(sister/daughter/wife/mother) that way?" The response invariably comes, "No." To which I respond that we should keep in mind that every girl is somebody's baby. — Aaron Blaylock

If asked for an opinion we'll say what we think. And by "what we think" I mean the answer that comes to our mind first, seems most logical and requires the least amount of effort to articulate, while getting us in the least amount of trouble. Really that's what our communication boils down to. — Aaron Blaylock