A.S. King Quotes & Sayings

The world is full of assholes. What are you doing to make sure you're not one of them? — A.S. King

Never forget it. But stop living there. Live here, in the present. Think forward to your future. — A.S. King

You're not being dramatic. This hurts. — A.S. King

After I lie there for a while, I realize that Dad isn't every going to do anything but be there to drive us home from the airport. And cook. And if I want something bigger to change, it's up to me. I'm scared shitless, yes. I'm doubtful, yes. But I'm angry. Angry that I am doing this because Dad can't. But then I sniff breakfast, and I know that Dad is doing what he can. — A.S. King

Well, if it's as easy as catching my future from a blood relative, then I guess I'm due to be a drunk, pregnant, dropout stripper any day now. — A.S. King

Is it okay to lie in order to be happy? — A.S. King

On one hand, it's nice on the other side. Secrets don't exist. There's nothing to ignore, and no destiny. On the other hand, the same thing is possible in life, if only we'd start paying attention to the right stuff. — A.S. King

I demand a different childhood.
I demand a mother who cares.
I demand a do-over. — A.S. King

I think back to the last thing Dave said to me and try to imagine what escaping oxygen would look like. It looks a lot like drowning. — A.S. King

And so I went to my room and took a nap. A ten year long nap. The Gerald who didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do has taken a ten-year long nap.
The Gerald who had control over his life is awake again.
Good morning.
How did you sleep? — A.S. King

Humans don't trust anything-because that's their nature. Half of them have gut feelings they continually ignore. It's not their fault. Instinct rarely fits on the pages of a day planner, and even if it did, human beings would manage to complicate the hell out of it. — A.S. King

We have this judgmental way of looking at the idea of leaving a home or a family, and our society has reinforced this idea that if we "run away," we are "running away from our problems." In some cases, though, to face certain problems (in this case, two family members who are not mentally stable and who are not going to face up to their issues) the family members who are capable of facing reality must realize that leaving is a viable option. Some environments are harmful. As fellow humans it is our job to judge less and encourage more when others choose to remove themselves from harmful environments. — A.S. King

But they keep saving me because they know I stand for something. They're just not sure what yet.
-The Pagoda — A.S. King

I wish we could go back in time and climb trees together again. I love you, Vera. I always will. — A.S. King

You are not your virginity. You are a human being. The state of your hymen has nothing to do with your worth. — A.S. King

The pastor is saying something about how Charlie was a free spirit. He was and he wasn't. He was free because on the inside he was tied up in knots. He lived hard because on the inside he was dying. Charlie made inner conflict look delicious. — A.S. King

You know that saying about how you don't know what you have until it's gone? I already did know what I had, and now that she's gone, I know even more. — A.S. King

He digs out a fortune cookie fortune from his mouth, as if his mouth has a pocket. It says THE SIMPLEST ANSWER IS TO ACT. He hands it to me. I nod and put the fortune in my own mouth pocket. — A.S. King

In nature, crying is okay. Waterfalls cry all the time. — A.S. King

The more I know people, the more I love my dog. — A.S. King

I want to be the joint that she smokes so that we can finally talk about
everything without having to use words, because I will be a drug in her brain. — A.S. King

Do you think we'll get married one day?" I said.
"To each other?" Charlie asked.
"No, silly. I mean to other people." (But really, I'd meant to each other.) — A.S. King

What's the difference between sanity and madness anyway? We all play headgames with ourselves. We all have baggage. We all cope somehow. I'm not sure if I'm mad or sane. I mean, I hold my life together, I pay my bills, I raise my kids. But the world is so polarized and bizarre now that for some people, none of these these things matter if they're not wearing the right shoes or don't have the right credit score or a fancy family car. Some people think the most important things to worry about are handbags and tan lines. Meanwhile, war and crime and poverty unfold all around us, and we ignore it. In that environment, how can we even begin to talk about sanity and madness? — A.S. King

The boys on the front had magazines with pinups, and they talked about how one day they would score women like that, but they're kids. They don't know what love is. Here they learn what hate is, and I am so sad that they might never know love because hate came first. Maybe they will miss out on having a woman like you, and I feel sorry for them. — A.S. King

It seems the older people get, the more shit they ignore. Or, like Dad, they pay attention to stuff that distracts them from the more important things that they're ignoring. — A.S. King

It's long past dark, and I don't see anyone walking tonight. Maybe Sundays are off-limits. Maybe my ninja girl even goes to bed and gives her swaying, beautiful hair a break. I wonder where she sneaks off to. I wonder, does she have a secret boyfriend or a favorite place? The ants say: What the hell are you doing to yourself? You'll never see her again. She lives two thousand miles away!
Then I think of Granddad and wonder why I dream about a man who is twelve thousand miles away. It makes me ask: Why do I care so much about people who are so far away from me? — A.S. King

And if any of you has a problem with any of it, then it's *your* problem. Being gay is hard enough without having to worry about your family being weird about it. — A.S. King

I feel like during the night, a family of raccoons built a nest in my head and then got diarrhea there. I think this is called a hangover, but I can't be sure. — A.S. King

I stare out the window and smile because just dreaming it is nice ... even if it doesn't happen. Just dreaming it is nice. — A.S. King

I knew that once I went looking, I'd need a man like Dad - dependable and respectful toward women, and not into porn or weird rich old guys who bought teenage kids' underwear. — A.S. King

I don't have enough gross words in my gross vocabulary to describe how gross that gross thought is. Gross. — A.S. King

Look at our culture. Look at the computer-enhanced people we compare ourselves to. Look at the expensive cars and trinkets we're all supposed to have. Look at how many people are wrapped up in that! Imagine how much money and worry we'd save ourselves if we stopped caring what kind of car we drove! and why do we care? perfection. But there is no such thing, is there? And if there is, then everyone is perfect in their own way, right? — A.S. King

Granddad is on his mat, meditating. He says, "You have to live in the present, Lucky." "But it's impossible to forget." "I didn't say you had to forget it. Never forget it. But stop living there. Live here, in the present. Think forward to your future." "My future is three more years of Nader McMillan." "Yes, but from now on you're the one in control. — A.S. King

Since that day I saw you in chemistry class with thatt canary yellow shirt, I wanted to make every day Christmas for you. — A.S. King

I don't smile. I have all these thoughts. Crazy thoughts. Like, on the one hand, I want to kiss her passionately, like they do in movies, and just paralyze her with the feeling of how much I want to take care of her — A.S. King

But I don't ask him anything, because he's driving with that weird fake-happy look on his face, as if he's about to chop me up into little pieces and feed me to a tiger. — A.S. King

It didn't work. It didn't work because I knew not to give the best of myself to the worst of people. — A.S. King

I realized too late that gossip can't kill you unless you let it. — A.S. King

If Darla's question was Why do people take pictures?, then what sort of answer was that? Or were pictures like that why Darla was asking in the first place?
I say to the empty room, "I take pictures because sometimes I can't find the words to say what I want to say. — A.S. King

Your Cat Has More Self Esteem Than I Do
There are no billboards for cats
advertising feline plastic surgery
feline acne gels
feline gastric bands
feline face-lifts.
There are no commercials about
feline makeup
feline sex toys
feline fashion.
There are porn movies with cats,
but no cats watch them. — A.S. King

It's a question. And I'm answering it. But I don't know the answer yet, and I'm sorry. — A.S. King

People believe it because people are stupid. Apparently, that's adequate now. — A.S. King

Listen to me. They may control what you do, but no one can pee on your soul without your permission. — A.S. King

I used to love school until everybody got old enough to point and laugh. — A.S. King

Today I am in control because I want to be. I have my fingers on the switch, but have lived a lifetime ignoring the control I have over my own world. Today is different. — A.S. King

I place us where we are a happy couple who are madly in love, and we are kissing the way people kiss on their wedding day. With joy and relief and love. Without guilt. Without Shame. — A.S. King

Isn't it funny how we live inside the lies we believe? — A.S. King

As I fall asleep, I think about Ginny and the look she gave me at church, and it makes me feel that familiar sinking in my gut-the way I've felt every time I've seen Nader McMillan in the hall since I was seven. He didn't even need to say anything to me. Just his existence would make me fell powerless and stupid. The difference, I guess, is that he gained his power by humiliating me. Thurns out when someone you actually give a shit about turns on you, it's even more powerful. — A.S. King

I am slowely realizing that Ginny's parents are from tjhe planet Wow, Really? The ants weigh in: I tjhink you meant the planet Fucking Asshole. — A.S. King

I'd rather feel something for real than pretend it's not what it is. — A.S. King

Everybody's always looking for the person they're better than — A.S. King

I am tortured too. I am tortured by belly fat and magazine covers about how to please everyone but myself. I am tortured by sheep who click on anything that will guarantee a ten-pound loss in one week. Sheep who will get on their knees if it means someone will like them more. I am tortured by my inability to want to hang out with desperate sheep. I am tortured by goddamned yearbooks full of bullshit. I met you when. I'll miss the times. I'll keep in touch. Best friends forever. Is this okay? Are you all right? Are you tortured too? — A.S. King

Can I admit I'm a little freaked out that Socrates only has one name? I know that's how it was done in those days, but it bugs me. I can't tell if it's his last name or his first name or what. And it can't be shortened - except to Sock, which is completely stupid. I want him to have a more familiar name - something laid back and modern, so I can relate to him better. So I stare at the picture in my book of the curly-bearded guy with the pug nose, and by the end of study hall, I name him Frank. Frank Socrates. Makes him more huggable. — A.S. King

Only you can allow yourself to be angry. — A.S. King

I wished I could take her to the library and hand her over to the librarians. Please teach her about everything, I'd say. — A.S. King

I never asked her how she was, because I didn't really think about how she was. I just thought about what she thought of me. — A.S. King

I learned in English class about surrealists. It was the first time I wanted to throw myself up so I could be marked present. Surrealism turns the whole world upside down. — A.S. King

Why trade a chance at real happiness for a misery I already knew? — A.S. King

That Sindy. She was so damn smart. But I never told her that. I also never told her that I loved her, or that I loved the two little stretch marks she got from carrying Vera. Or that I loved that freckle on her forehead. I never told her that I loved her lasagna or that I thought her views on politics were clever. I just kept my mouth shut because I thought that made me safe. — A.S. King

I looked down mostly but when I dared look at a person, I could see their ancestors and descendants. I could see events in their past and their future. I could see their infinity, I guess. — A.S. King

Sure, Mom.
They stop and say hello, and then once you pass they talk the back off you like you were nothing. They assess your outfit, your hairstyle, and they garble what you say so it comes out ugly. — A.S. King

Nature is so lucky. People can look at it and think nothing. No one analyzes it. No one blames it. No one underestimates it. Most people respect it. When we look at an ocean after an oil spill, we don't smirk and say, "Well, look at this shithole you are now!" We pity it. We wish it hadn't happened. We hope it gets better and that the fish who live there don't die or grow babies who have two heads. Maybe if we all saw ourselves as nature, we'd be kinder. — A.S. King

School's important at the moment.
Unsexiest statement ever. — A.S. King

Maybe smiling at people would be my new revenge on the bullshit world. — A.S. King

And i wish I didn't have to lie so much. I don't think Frank Socrates would approve of all this lying.
I think Frank would want me to cause a lot more trouble than that. — A.S. King

The ants say: aren't we all bleeding a little? — A.S. King

What Vera doesn't know is: I'd kill to be a pickle on her Big Mac - ground to relish between her perfect white teeth.
I'd kill to be a bug she squishes with her holey Army-issue combat boot.
But she's too good for me. She always was. — A.S. King

Maybe if I hadn't been so hell-bent on not becoming my parents, I could have saved Charlie. Maybe I would have been his girlfriend. Maybe we could have gotten married and been happy, regardless of who our parents were and what they did to each other. — A.S. King

The absence of violence is not love. — A.S. King

Look, this is a loan. I don't know if love is something I will run out of one day. I don't know if I should be giving it all to you guys or not. Today, I feel like maybe I should have kept some for myself for days when no one else loves me. — A.S. King

I look back at Danny and I think about what Ginny said to me: Friends act like friends. My stomach tightens. — A.S. King

I demand to break rule number #5
I demand to kiss her today. Right now, even. — A.S. King

I sit on my bed and think about Nader McMillan and wonder what I'm going to do. Ignore him. Stand up to him. Avoid him. Be "tough." I think of the stuff Dad has said over the years. How he finally gave up suggesting things. Why are you asking me this? I never figured out what to do about my own bullies. How am I supposed to know what to do with yours? — A.S. King

No patience. No kisses. No hugs. Just a tweezers and some rubbing alcohol, and a stinging sensation that never goes away. — A.S. King

What does a boy who' witnessed what Charlie's witnessed know about trust? How does a boy like that discern right from wrong? — A.S. King

My one regret was that I never photographed the bat before we drank it. — A.S. King

Suicide isn't something people do to hurt other people. It's something people do to release themselves from pain. — A.S. King

I try to find some pity for Tasha. I don't have any. I try to steal some from how I feel about my mom, but there isn't enough to share it.
I scream, "Fuck this shit!" and kick the chair over. Then I go looking for Hannah — A.S. King

Could I ever respect myself again if I stooped to their level? — A.S. King

How can we say nobody's perfect if there is no perfect to compare to? Perfection implies that there really is a right and wrong way to be. And what type of perfection is the best type? Moral perfection? Aesthetic? Physiological? Mental? — A.S. King

Are there baby steps toward complete loserdom, and if so, how many are there to go? — A.S. King

Voice mail was invented by confident people to make unconfident people say stupid shit that gets taped and haunts us forever. — A.S. King

There is something magical about the world at night. Sitting at the dining room table, sipping a glass of iced tea, I can totally understand why Dad gets up so early. Minutes seem to last longer when the rest of the world is asleep. — A.S. King

You'll never lose me, Vera. I'm the Great Hunter now. — A.S. King

Everything was windswept and octagonal and finger-combed. — A.S. King

I don't know. It'd be nice if my mom stopped being sarcastic about my future. It's like she wants me to go to jail or something." Oh God. "Oh God." I say.
I feel like throwing up. How did I not see that before?
Fuck — A.S. King

You're like an alcohol in my veins. — A.S. King

We all had our collective heads in the oven. — A.S. King

She's like a kindness ninja. Sneaking around in order to help people. — A.S. King

Instead of replying with my usual open-your-mind speech, I send love to my mother. Mom, I love you even though you are a critical, unforgiving horror show. This casserole sucks, but I like the way you roasted the walnuts. — A.S. King

There is a moment in every photograph's life when it has been exposed but not developed. The light from the enlarger has shone through the negative and made its impression on the paper, but without the magic of developer, the paper will stay white and no one will ever see what that impression is. — A.S. King

I'll just be another human on a planet full of humans, but better equipped because I have demands.
For my family.
For my life.
For the world.
For myself.
What acceptable behay-vyah.
What acceptable behay-vyah — A.S. King

That's the point. Blood is the point.
B-L-O-O-D I-S T-H-E P-O-I-N-T
If I could bleed out the Crapper into the ring, I'd do it.
If I could bleed out everything that's wrong with my life, I'd bleed until I was empty — A.S. King

He said, "Charlie isn't like us, you know?" and I knew what he meant, but somehow it was that not-like-us that made me love Charlie more. — A.S. King

I can't stop myself from reaching for the bottle that's under my seat. I've gone all night without a sip, but it's not about being addicted. It's about being told what to do my whole life and doing it and then losing everything anyway. — A.S. King

But it feels good to love a thing and not expect anything back. It feels good to not get an argument or any pushiness or any rumors or any bullshit. It's love without strings. It's ideal. — A.S. King

I'm sorry, but I don't get it. If we're supposed to ignore everything that's wrong with our lives, then I can't see how we'll ever make things right. — A.S. King

We are all made from star dust and we will all return to star dust, like a cosmic palindrome. — A.S. King

I think $37 and no mother and no visits or phone calls is shitty interest. — A.S. King

I am equal to a baby and to a hundred year old lady. I am equal to an airline pilot and a car mechanic. I am equal to you. You are equal to me. It's that universal.
Except that it's not. — A.S. King