Zaltzman Quotes & Sayings

If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales — Andy Zaltzman

But none of them laughed as hard about my beautiful brain as I knew my father would have. I miss him, the drunk bastard. I would always feel closest to the man who had most disappointed me. — Sherman Alexie

A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed. — Andy Zaltzman

It was actually my older brother who wanted to start acting. He would point at the TV as a kid and tell my mom he wanted to do it, and he would act his favorite scenes from 'Home Alone.' — Kevin Schmidt

There are billions of men in the world, probably millions near my age. Maybe hundreds who are compatible with me. Maybe at least a dozen who would want to date me. There's got to be at least five on the continent whom I could probably marry. So why am I so hung up on this one guy? — Regina Doman

To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want? — Andy Zaltzman

Yes, freedom is good, but arguably, grammar is better. — Andy Zaltzman

Nice mix of Tory MPs saying this issue shouldn't be used for petty political pointscoring, & Tory MPs trying to score petty political points. — Andy Zaltzman

We need to raise the level of our game in terms of explaining the planetary warming by infrared absorption of CO2 etc. The missing area of understanding seems to be the actual physical mechanism. Lets target an explanation at an audience that has taken 1 year each of undergraduate physics and chemistry, plus calculus. Once we have something that is convincing at this level, we can work on how to communicate this to the interested public (i.e. those that hang out in the climate blogosphere). Willis Eschenbach's help is needed in translating this for the WUWT crowd. — Judith Curry

Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey. — Andy Zaltzman

When I first saw a picture of the crucifixion, I lost respect for my parents. I suddenly realised that this is what the adult world is like - full of cruelty and hypocrisy. — Vivienne Westwood

Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family — Andy Zaltzman

New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'
Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along. — Andy Zaltzman