You're A Jerk Quotes & Sayings

Zeke was cleared by the Candor an hour ago, in a short interrogation on the eighteenth floor. It was not as somber an occasion as Tobias's and my interrogation, partly because there was no suspicious video footage implicating Zeke, and partly because Zeke is funny even when under truth serum. Maybe especially so. In any case, we came to the Gathering Place "for a 'Hey, you're not a dirty traitor!' celebration," as Uriah put it.
"Yeah, but we've been insulting you since the simulation attack," Lynn says. "And now I feel like a jerk about it."
Zeke puts his arm around Shauna. "You are a jerk, Lynn. It's part of your charm."
Lynn launches a plastic cup at him, which he deflects. Water sprays over the table, hitting him in the eye.
"Anyway, as I was saying," says Zeke, rubbing his eye, "I was mostly working on getting Erudite defectors out safely. — Veronica Roth

The way Disney characters move, they're very kind of slow and fluid and flowing; one pose kind of eases into the next. If you look at a show like 'The Simpsons' and subsequently a show like 'Family Guy' - the characters will jerk from pose to pose a lot, a bit more snappy. Which sort of goes along with the writing tone of the show. — Seth MacFarlane

It's music rage, which is like road rage, only more righteous. When you get road rage, a tiny part of you knows you're being a jerk, but when you get music rage, you're carrying out the will of God, and God wants these people dead — Nick Hornby

There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there's no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you're the one who ends up looking like a jerk. — Travis Bradberry

The doo-wop stalker love song on a Cincinnati oldies station
you broke up with me because I was an obnoxious jerk and now you're dating him, so I drive by your house and stare in your window every night, thereby proving that I'm an even bigger creep than you thought — Sarah Vowell

Ooh!" Willy pipes up. "Maybe he'll write a story about Santa and Mrs. Claus getting caught with their pants down with other people. If we get lucky, maybe he'll kill-"

"Don't finish that sentence, elf."

"Randy, you're such a spoilsport. You can't say you haven't conjured up that scenario in your big head a time or a dozen. Continue. Maybe I'll write that story."

"No, you won't. Your idea of a good story is nothing but sex, sex, and more sex. You'd never make it through writing a chapter because you'd have to stop and jerk off a half dozen times."

"Ew! Not about Santa and Mrs. Claus. Yuck," Willy comes back at him with a sour look on his face. "That's not even funny, Randy. — Candi Kay

You can be a really nasty, selfish little jerk when you're scared enough. I was scared enough. — Robin McKinley

I don't think I am very easy to work for because everything has to be just right or we don't put it out. But at the same time, all the people that work for me have a "no asshole" rule, if you're a jerk you're fired, so it's a great team and a lot of skillful people at the top of the game, anybody from management to the agents to the publicists to the day-to-day website stuff and it's just a great team. — Jeff Dunham

And I shall take my leave of you now- unless you have plans to shoot me. In which case, I shall take you with me." He lifted up his other hand. In it was a small black handset. " Just so we're clear, the bomb that is wired to the undercarriage of my car will go off if my thumb contracts- which is precisely the kind of autonomic jerk that will occur if you put a bullet in my chest or my back. Oh and mayhap I should mention that the explosion has a radius that more than includes where you are, and the detonation is so efficient, you will not be able to dematerialize out of the zone fast enough"
Xcor laughed with genuine respect. "You know what they say about suicide, don't you. No Fade for them "
"Its not suicide if you shoot me first. Self-defense"
"And your willing to test that out?"
"If you are — J.R. Ward

If you're courting me, you have to tell me something about yourself that no one else knows."
He was silent for a moment. "I'd rather jerk-off to thoughts of you than be with anyone else. — Katie Reus

It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then? — Rob Riggle

I entered Excessive Modesty Mode. Nothing is stupider and more ineffective than Excessive Modesty Mode. It is a mode in which you show that you're modest by arguing with someone who is trying to compliment you. Essentially, you are going out of your way to try to convince someone that you're a jerk. — Jesse Andrews

I feel like my own background in improv and doing documentaries makes me really comfortable with a situation where you're letting things unfold and you don't have to be a jerk, stomping his feet, trying to get his way on everything. — Seth Gordon

Layne walked up to him and put both hands to his son's neck, giving it a firm squeeze, he looked him in the eyes and whispered, "Fucked up with you, know it, but you're a fuckin' good kid despite that and, even though I didn't have much to do with it, I'm proud of you." He gave his son's neck a gentle jerk and finished. "Love you, Bud. — Kristen Ashley

You are weak, Savannah. I can feel it when our minds merge."
"Stay out of my mind. You certainly weren't invited." Her hands went to her hips. "And just for the record, your mind needs to be washed out with soap! Half the things you think we're going to do are never going to happen. I could never look at you again."
He laughed. Aloud.An actual, real laugh. It welled up unexpectedly and emerged low and husky, with genuine amusement. Gregori nearly leapt the distance between them and dragged her into his arms, grateful beyond imagining.
She flung a pillow at his head. "Go ahead and laugh, you arrogant jerk." She wished she had a two-by-four handy. — Christine Feehan

Come now, you can move faster than that! Everyone says you were a spitfire on the cliffs this morning." I let him spin me at that. "They do?" "They're saying that you and Sean Kendrick were burning up the cliffs." Tommy spins me again and grins at me. "And when I say you and Sean Kendrick, i mean you and Sean Kendrick. And by burning, I mean burning." I jerk to a stop and spin him instead. I pretend he's talking about racing. 'You worried? — Maggie Stiefvater

There are a lot of things about having money that are perceived to be cool but that aren't. Maybe if you're a CEO jerk who likes going coast to coast by himself in a G4, then that's fine. But that's not me. And it never will be. — Nolan Bushnell

Someone will love you, Miss Ruiz. Even if you're a jerk." "Fuck you, Reed," she sobbed. — C.J. Roberts

But Rachel, every time you hurt, I hurt. Particularly, when I'm the cause of it. I've been an
insensitive jerk. But I need you to know that you are all I can think about. That you give me freaking
butterflies in my stomach. That when we're together I feel like ... "
"Cloud walking." Rachel grinned. — A Meredith Walters

He pushed the steelframed glasses up on his perfect nose. "I don't pay much attention to the selfhelp movement, but even I've heard of you. Is the doctorate real or phony?"
"I have a very real Ph.D. in psychology, which qualifies me to make a fairly accurate diagnosis: "You're a jerk. Now, leave me alone. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire. — Molly Harper

All magic is 'Here's a quarter, now it's gone. You're a jerk. Now it's back. You're an idiot. Show's over.' — Jerry Seinfeld

You don't know anything about me."
"Everything I need to know is written all over your face."
"Right now the only thing my face should be conveying is that it thinks you're a jerk."
He bowed his head as if to say, exactly. — Kasie West

As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk. — Neil Young

Sometimes, when you're not being a jerk, I like you so much it hurts. I like the way your true self comes out when you think no one else is looking. — Kylie Scott

I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but you're the one who's been hot and cold with me. I wasn't planning on chasing around after you, waiting for you to decide I'm worthy. I don't work that way. — Nyrae Dawn

If you don't feel the same way about him, if you're just leading him on, you need to tell him that. I've seen too many nice guys get shafted because a girl can't get over some jerk. — Nenia Campbell

Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk. — Jim Gaffigan

Mustang: (snatches puppy) Dog, huh? (pause) I LOVE DOGS!
Fuery: Really? You mean it?!
Mustang: OF COURSE! Dogs embody loyalty! They follow their master's commands above all else! Be a jerk to them and they don't complain and they never once beg for a paycheck! Trust me, Fuery, they're the great servants of man! (sings) LOYAL CANINE, HOW WE SALUTE THEE! — Hiromu Arakawa

She smiled. "You're very sweet." "Now you go too far - " She shoved her hand under his nose. "This is your ring you see, my lord, and that gives me the right to tell you to be quiet. So, be quiet. I'll probably be back to thinking you're a jerk tomorrow, so live with the compliment while it's still in force. Got it?" He grumbled something she didn't catch. But then, to her utter surprise, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it in a rough, Richardy kind of way. Then he dropped it as if it had been a hot potato, set her on her feet, then leaned his head back against the chair and pretended to snore. Jessica went to bed with a smile on her face. — Lynn Kurland

Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think, if I knew this person they'd be my best friend. Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk. — Judith Guest

Goddammit! I ruined our whole night! I'm such a fuckin' jerk, Cami! I was stressing because I wanted to get you flowers, but they're all so damn expensive . . . and then that ridiculously gigantic bouquet shows up. I'm a dick. I'm an unreasonable, selfish, insecure dick who is so scared of losing you. It's too hard to believe that you're already mine. — Jamie McGuire

Even when there were good wars to write about, writers such as Jane Austen wrote novels concerning marriage. They usually went like this:
'You're being a real jerk.'
'Sorry about that. I was secretly helping you.'
'Oh, you're wonderful! And you have so much money! You're my new favorite cousin!'
'Let's get married.
The End. — Dan Wilbur

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of. — Greg Behrendt

How can you be so nice to me and how can you forgive me when I've been such a jerk?"
Maddy appears to think for a moment. "When you are reading a book and you finish a chapter, you don't keep re-reading the chapter you just finished. You move on to the next chapter to see what happens. — Stephen Reid Andrews

I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.' — Jim Gaffigan

It isn't that it's too soon, you're on the back of my bike, it ain't too soon. You can buy sheets. You cannot install blinds."
"um ... " I mumbled. "Can you explain the difference?"
"Sheets are chick territory," he said without delay. "You gotta use tools, that's dick territory."
"Oh," I whispered.
"Don't tread on dick territory," he advised.
"So, um ... is a paintbrush a tool?" I asked cautiously.
"If you're paintin' the side of the house, yeah. If you're painting mud colored paint in a room, no."
"It's terracotta," I said softly.
"Whatever," he muttered, his mouth twitching.
"Or, the paint chip called it Mexican horizon. The blue is dawn sky."
"Definitely chick territory," Tate replied, losing the fight with his grin.
"What about ... pictures for the walls?" I asked.
"Chick," he answered instantly.
"Um ... could I ask that, instead of you getting angry and being a jerk, maybe you give me a head's up when I'm doing something stupid? — Kristen Ashley

I'd like a cheese Bunza. French fries. A Dr Pepper --"

"Oh, you're a Pepper?"

"Yeah, I'm a Pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

I can't help but laugh at this guy. He's actually funny. Kind of a surprise. I thought maybe he'd just be some hot lug-head jerk. But this? This is unfair.

"And a shake."

"Really?"

"Yeah. A shake. Instead of Dr Pepper. Oh ... and you. I'd like a date with you. Saturday night. — Andrea Portes

What are you doing?"
"Activating it."
"Uh ... No you're not." I jerk my hand away. "You're not activating anything until I get some answers."
"Yeah, I am. If I don't activate it, it explodes." He sounds dead serious.
"For real?"
He doesn't answer, and that pisses me off. But I can't be certain it isn't for real, and since I'm fond of having a hand at the end of my arm, I offer my wrist. He finishes running his fingers over the screen.
I change direction and ask, "Would the bracelet really have exploded if you didn't activate it?"
There's a slight pause that makes me think I've surprised him by shifting topics. Good. Better that I have him on his toes than he have me on mine.
"No," he says, and I think the corners of his mouth twitch in the hint if a smile. — Eve Silver

Listen to the stage manager and get on stage when they tell you to. No one has time for the rock star bullshit. None of the techs backstage care if you're David Bowie or the milkman. When you act like a jerk, they are completely unimpressed with the infantile display that you might think comes with your dubious status. They were there hours before you building the stage, and they will be there hours after you leave tearing it down. They should get your salary, and you should get theirs. — Henry Rollins

So, what, you put out date three or four? There about?"
I stopped, staring at him with absolute wonder. "Do I ask you how often you jerk off, Jimmy?"
"Least once a day, lately." He threw the information out there like it didn't even matter. "My libido kind of disappeared there for a while but it's back with a vengeance now. You're probably right on with the dating idea because if I don't get something soon I'm gonna break my fucking wrist. — Kylie Scott

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk. — Greg Behrendt

People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect. — Anthony Jeselnik

We pick up our shots and for the first time there's a total absence of sound in the room. From the ceiling, shy silver things blink and wait. Dennis doesn't sit, but hovers at the edge of the table, leaning in with a darkroom perfected slump. His hair hangs like its edges were dipped in lead. Thin spears pointing to the table. I'm looking at his face; we're both serious in a self-aware way, pretending not to notice.

"It doesn't even feel like I left. God, you look fucking terrible. But it's a terrible face that drinks tequila well. Down. And cheers."

We force a dull clash of cups and pour everything down at once. The hard tequila shudders that never happen in the movies. First your head feels light, then it starts receiving the distress signals from throat, lungs, belly. Your shoulders jerk to shake off the snake that wrapped around you and squeezed. It burns. The good burn. — Laurie Perez

When the cow jerks away, it'll yank the door open."
"But what's going to make the cow jerk away?" asked Little Richard.
"You're going to milk it," said Slank.
"But I don't know how to milk a cow!" said Little Richard.
"Exactly. — Dave Barry

But what if non-Christians don't like us? I hear. If someone doesn't like us, then that's no reason to change who you are. Now, if you're a jerk, then, by all means, stop being a jerk. But, don't stop being the church. Those who don't like us must not dictate who we are. That's like allowing a blind man to lead a seeing man through the gauntlet. If the church really can see, then she must lead the way. She is to dictate the culture, not the reverse. She is to tell media what's cool, not the opposite. The church is to set the trends, refusing to be a flea on the back of a dog, who merely sucks life from another organism. — Anonymous

Patel, the jerk, had gravely presented his diagnosis - syncope resulting from an exaggerated respiratory response, leading to ventilation exceeding metabolic demands, resulting in hemodynamic and chemical changes.

When Tommy'd looked at him blankly, he'd laughed and said, "Relax, Tommy. You hyperventilated and fainted. At least we're pretty sure that's what happened. But we'd like to watch you for a while to rule out cardiogenic causes."

And now, here he lay, confronting the fact that in layman's terms, he'd been scared shitless. — Norah Wilson

Alex sat playing with the remote, turning it over in his hand. A long moment passed, and then he cleared his throat."Look ... I'm sorry," he said.
"What I said i that first night- " He stopped and sighed, tossing the remote onto the bed. Scraping his hand through his hair, he said, "When I first found out, it just threw me,OK? For a lot of reasons. I don't-I don't think you're like the angels. And I've been acting like a jerk. I'm sorry."
A smile grew slowley across my face. "Yes you have," I said "But apology accepted. — L.A. Weatherly

Canada?" Ash said. "You didn't say it was in Canada.
"I said Ontario." (Maya)
"I thought you meant Ontario, California."
"Seriously?" Tori said,rolling her eyes. "A helicopter to California? You may be hot,but your sister clearly inherited all the brains in the family."
"Did she call me hot?" Ash whispered to me, looking more annoyed than he ever did when someone called him a jerk.
"She hasn't been on a date in six months", Derek rumbled behind us. "No offense, but as long as aren't related to her, you're fair game. Hell, even
"
Tori spun on him. "I didn't know."
"Um, wait a sec," Corey said. "So Ash is hot and I'm seriously cute? Is there a difference?"
"Yes," Hayley said, and propelled him through the line. — Kelley Armstrong

What are you?" I whispered.
"What are you?"
Offended, I frowned. "Human."
"Funny, me too."
"No, you're not."
"Funny, neither are you."
I set my jaw and glared. What a jerk. "Why did you come here?"
My voice came from his mouth, disconcerting as always. "I could ask you the same thing. Are you going to kill me? — Kiersten White

You are not my sunshine. Sorry. You're more like a gust of arctic wind that bursts in and blows out all the candles when the door cracks open. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Hark," he said, his tone very dry. "What stone through yonder window breaks?"
Kami yelled up at him, "It is the east, and Juliet is a jerk!"
Jared abandoned Shakespeare and demanded, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Throwing a pebble," said Kami defensively. "Uh ... and I'll pay for the window."
Jared vanished and Kami was ready to start shouting again, when he reemerged with the pebble clenched in his fist. "This isn't a pebble! This is a rock."
"It's possible that your behaviour has inspired some negative feelings that caused me to pick a slightly overlarge pebble," Kami admitted. — Sarah Rees Brennan

He's a jerk."

"No Luminista. He's a young man who loves you but doesn't know how to treat you right yet. You have to show him how. Show him that you can take what he dishes out without crumbling. That you're beautiful and strong, and he should lift you up, not tear you down. — Ednah Walters

When I say I love you and you don't believe me, you're being a jerk. Basically what you're saying is I only love conditionally. You think you're being self-deprecating and funny, but you're really saying I'm not a good enough person to love you if you have a few flaws. It gets old. — Donald Miller

And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked."
"He's a minister!"
"It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?"
"You're making a joke out of this."
"Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would think something this traumatic was funny. Tell you what. I'll go downstairs right this minute and kill him before he gets away. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You're either humble or you're not. If you were a jerk before the fame, you just become a jerk with a bigger spotlight. Whoever you are really comes through. — Oprah Winfrey

The two-man crew of the patrol boat does not speak English. Rachel exploits this as best she can, while still dumping life jackets in the water. "What? I don't understand what you're saying? Do you speak English?"
They confirm in their native tongue that they obviously do not. Rachel must be putting on a theatrical display, because the small boat rocks while she talks. "I don't need these life jackets anymore," she says, in her thickest Italian accent. "The colors are all wrong for me. I mean, look at this orange. Ew, right?"
Galen rolls his eyes. I try not to giggle.
"And this green? Hideous!" she continues.
The men get more irate when she doesn't stop littering their domain. "Hey, what the ... Don't touch me! I have a foot injury, you jerk!"
Galen and I slink below the surface. "We knew that might happen," he says. — Anna Banks

Lean down a minute first," he says. "Need to tell you something." I lean over and put my good ear to his lips, which tickle as he whispers. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it." I jerk my head back but end up laughing. "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind. — Suzanne Collins

We overweight people, we say terrible things to ourselves. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. 'You fat pig. How can you do this? You're a disgusting jerk.' And that gets you nowhere. That gets you right back into a bowl of pasta fregula. — Richard Simmons

I don't have the slightest interest in gold. I like understanding what works and what doesn't in human systems. To me that's not optional; that's a moral obligation. If you're capable of understanding the world, you have a moral obligation to become rational. And I don't see how you become rational hoarding gold. Even if it works, you're a jerk. — Charlie Munger

The Worst part of acting like a jerk isn't when you're doing it. Its when you realize you were. — Pete Wentz

She'd cried loudly enough that the man sitting across from her had offered her a tissue, and she'd screamed, what do you think you're looking at jerk? At him, because that was what you did in New York. After that she felt a little better. — Cassandra Clare

You are such a jerk! Get back here!"
"Jerk?" he repeated. " You're the one spying in windows. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it. — David Levithan

I pressed forward, pushing my body along hers, and wrapped my arms around her waist. Some of the intensity of my anger dissipated and drained away. After a very long, steamy kiss, I broke away, breathing hard.
Rimmel's head collapsed against the wall and she stared up at me with unfocused hazel eyes. The flecks of color in the center were green today. "Romeo," she gasped.
I pulled back enough so I could lift her arm and grasp her fingers. She made a sound of protest when I pushed back the material of the shirt once more and stared down at the dark blotches marring her skin.
"How were you going to explain this to me?" I rumbled.
"I wasn't going to lie, it that's what you're implying," she snapped.
"Ah, baby." I groaned and lifted her wrist to press my lips to the marks. "I'm being a jerk."
"You said it ... " She agreed, letting the rest of her sentence fall away.
I smiled against her skin and then kissed her inner wrist once more. — Cambria Hebert

Hey, Hot Stuff, Can't wait till you get over that guy you were with. He sounds like a real jerk. Hope it's soon. You're way too tasty to be alone for too long. Come find me. I'm out here waiting. Your Future — Greg Behrendt

My father used to say that if a man fools you once, he's a jerk. If he fools you twice, you're a jerk. Only he didn't use the word "jerk." — Ellen Goodman

Even thought you've been acting like a jerk all night, you're still here. I could tell you were angry. So you're angry; at least you're something. You're not nothing anymore. — Jennifer R. Hubbard

He tried to remove it as gently as he could, but it wouldn't budge so he gave it a pretty good jerk and it ripped the skin on my lip. He got the butt all right, only now I could feel and taste the blood that was starting to drip down from my lip onto my survival vest. "Christ, you're bleeding, am I gonna have to Medivac you as well? Hey Doc, Captain Spicer is bleeding heavily from his lip, what should I do?" "Well Captain, you could put a tourniquet around his neck." "Naw, he looks gray in the face already. — W.R. Spicer

Hello-o-o-o-o, Nick," I said, hitting thek hard. "You're the world's biggest jerk for what you did to Jax. You ever show your scrawny face in Cincinnati again, and I'm going to shove a broomstick up your ass and set it on fire. You got that? — Kim Harrison

Suddenly Tink was right in front of my face, causing me to jerk back. "I know you're mad at me and you probably want to slice and dice me up and wear my skin as a new bracelet."
I glanced around. "Um. That's not exactly what I want to do."
Hope widened his eyes.
"But I kind of want to flush you down a toilet," I amended.
He gasped. "I'd get stuck! And these pipes are old. How would you even do that? I'm not a goldfish."
I rolled my eyes. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I'm fine.My father's an arse, and my mum is dying and-oh my God,I'm so pissed." St. Clair looked at me again. His eyes were glassy like black marbles. "Pissed.Pissed.Pissed."
"We know you're pissed at your dad," I said. "It's okay. You're right, he's a jerk." I mean what was I supposed to say? He just found out his mother has cancer.
"Pissed is British for 'drunk,'" Mer said.
"Oh," I said. "Well. You're definitely that, too."
Meanwhile,The Couple was fighting. "Where have you been?" Rashmi asked. "You said you'd be home three hours ago!"
Josh rolled his eyes. "Out.We've been out. Someone had to help him-"
"And you call that helping? He's completely wasted. Catatonic. And you! God,you smell like car exhaust and armpits-"
"He couldn't drink alone."
"You were supposed to be watching out for him! What if something happened?"
"Beer. Liquor. Thatsswhat happened. Don't be such a prude,Rash. — Stephanie Perkins

I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway. — Maha Erwin

Creep" I said, cutting to the heart of the matter. - Stephanie
"Gosh, I wonder who this could be."
- Morelli
"You lied to me. I knew it too. I knew right from the beginning, you jerk."
Silence stretched taut between us, and I realized my accusation covered a lot of territory, so I narrowed the field.
"I want to knew about this big secret case you're working on, and I want to know how it ties in to Kenny Mancuso and Moogey Bues." - Stephanie
"Oh" Morelli said. "That lie " - Morelli
"Well?" - Stephanie
"I cant tell you anything about that lie" - Morelli
-Two For The Dough — Janet Evanovich

Alan ... " Shelby kept her voice mild and patient as excitement ripped through her. "I've already told you, nothing's going to get started between us.Don't take it personally," she added with a half smile. "You're very attractive.I'm just not interested."
"No?" With his free hand, he circled her wrist. "Your pulse is racing."
Her annoyance was quick, mirrored in the sudden flare in her eyes, the sudden jerk of her chin. "I'm always happy to boost an ego," she said evenly. "Now,I'll get your shirt."
"Boost it a little higher," he suggested and drew her closer. — Nora Roberts

I want someone who builds people up, not tears them down. I need someone who makes me laugh and isn't afraid to rib me when I'm being a royal jerk.' She smiled a little. 'You're that girl. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it. — Jen Calonita

Morgan glanced over his shoulder to where Dougie walked behind him. "Dougie, you're lookin' a bit worn. Are you needin' to stop and, um, rest a bit?"
Dougie looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Rest? Are you daft?"
Morgan glared at him and gave a jerk of his head toward Amalie, who struggled on determinedly before him.
Dougie winked. "Och, aye, I am a bit weary."
In no time, word had gotten up and down the line that Amalie needed to rest but was being too stubborn to admit it. And suddenly Morgan was besieged with whispered pleas to stop, his men whining of sore feet, headaches, and aching backs.
Then Connor appeared at his side, looking fashed.
"What in God's name has come over the men? They're complainin' like old wom - — Pamela Clare

[Trip] "You're a pain in the ass. A wordy pain in the ass."
"Here are two more words for you. Interfering jerk."
"Stubborn idiot."
"Government patsy."
"Bookworm," Trip shot back, and then he had her up against her car, his mouth on hers, his hands on her body, taking as much of her as he could get. She came right back at him, curling her hands into his shirt, trying to drag him closer, which was impossible since the only thing between them was a couple of thin layers of clothing and enough heat to cause spontaneous combustion. — Penny McCall

Having been bullied growing up, it's something that's really near and dear to my heart. You probably won't have many friends on Snapchat if you're being a jerk. — Evan Spiegel

Is he bothering you?"
"Nah just some old pervert waiting for the sex show."
The ghost lips curled "If I was alive I'd teach you some manners First I'd-"
"I'm sure there are losts of thing you'd do to me if you were alive, but seeing as though your're not, I guess you're stuck watching ... " (makes a jerk-off gesture) — Kelley Armstrong

Keesha looked at me for a long time. "I did leave you alone. We all did. But you didn't get better. You didn't stop. You're still doin' all your weird shit. And I think it's time to stop."
"You think it's time to stop!" I exploded, and lunged at her with my hands outstretched. I pushed her real hard. She almost fell down. "I don't care what time you think it is!" I screamed. "Do you think I want to do this! Do you think I like it?"
"You pushed me!"
"Yeah. So what?"
"You're so afraid of being interrupted that you pushed me!"
"I'm not scared of being interrupted, you jerk! I'm ... I'm scared ... I'm scared of being." I crumpled into a ball and sat down where I was standing. I sat on a crack. Unevenly.
"Who are you anymore, Tara?"
Tears spilled over my frozen lashes and disappeared across my cheekbones. I had never felt so defeated. "I don't know. — Terry Spencer Hesser

The little people will get even, which is one of a thousand reasons why they are not little people at all. If you're a jerk as a leader, you will be torpedoed. And usually it won't be by your vice presidents; it will be on the loading dock at 3am when no supervisors are around. — Tom Peters

Maybe she'd remember him as a pain in the ass. Or maybe, he hoped most of all, that she'd remember what she told him: "You can be a real jerk sometimes, but you're decent."
As epitaphs went, it wasn't bad. — Dani Harper

You have to admit you're a jerk and that everything was all your fault." "So, like, what men are supposed to do in general," I said. — Gillian Flynn

Success is not about money and power. Real success is about relationships. There's no point in making $50 million a year if your teenager thinks you're a jerk and you spend no time with your wife. — Christopher Reeve

Exactly,' I said. 'You think people see you as a Casanova. You know what? I don't care what other people think of you, but, if you want to know, they think you're a jerk. And they're right, Gene. You're fifty-six years old with a wife and two kids, though for how much longer I don't know. Time you grew up. I'm telling you that as a friend. — Graeme Simsion

You don't scare me," he added.
"Oh, but I should."
"I'll never be scared by a girl."
"Oh so now you're not only a complete jerk, but your sexist too. Real nice, Radder."
"Thank you," he said, "your offenses mean nothing. — Ellie A. Gray

The danger in reviewing and teaching literature for a living (is) you can develop a kind of knee-jerk superiority to the material you're decoding — Maureen Corrigan

Probably the most cold-hearted thing I ever did. There was this spider in my shower - and I'm usually very kind to all of the creatures of the world - and you feel very vulnerable when you're naked, and I didn't really want to be near this spider he was kinda big and gnarly looking. The only thing that I could reach in the shower was this hairspray. So I hairspray-ed this spider to death, which was awful. I felt like such a jerk. It was really, really harsh. — Patrick Stump

How long will you be gone?" I asked just to make very clear how I didn't enjoy getting ditched.
"As long as it takes. When I get back, I'll kiss you until you can't stand."
"Stop with the threats. I'll miss you even if you're a jerk. — Bijou Hunter

I fall in love with characters when they're out of their element or are uncomfortable and you really feel for them in a knee-jerk sympathetic way. — Anna Kendrick

I think you're nice to me and that scares the fuck out of me. Because when a guy's a jerk or an asshole, it's easier because you know where you stand. — Rachel Cohn

So since we've clearly created a monster, which of us is Dr. Frankenstein, and who gets to be Igor?" I asked, hoping to inject a little levity.
"I'm definitely the doctor. He had the nicer ass."
"I hate to be a bubble burster, but you're a disembodied AI; you don't have an ass."
"I have since I met you."
"Aw. And you do have quite a mainframe on you." I realized after saying it how weird that was, since technically her mainframe was my mainframe, and I really didn't want to dwell on how incestuous that was. "But what if I'm not ready to be a father?"
"Well, you're already a bother, so all you'd really need to do is give an F."
"That was low, and given how terrible my standards are, you should recognize what kind of an insult that really is."
"Don't be a jerk. It's unbecoming."
"Well, apparently I'm becoming a jerk. Were you expecting a pumpkin? — Nicolas Wilson

Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies. — Jonah Goldberg

I'm definitely good. I'm not bad; I'm extremely honest, and I allow no bullshit to pass by my radar. And that will always get lots of people thinking you're a jerk. But there are people who appreciate total honesty and questioning of the conformities in our society, and I'm heroic to those people. And I should be. It's an indictment of the rest of society who doesn't get that. — Bill Maher

The most important reason for your "no" is that you need your downtime so you won't behave like a jerk because you're depleted. And you don't want to battle an appetite spiked by the stress of overcommitment. But that's your secret; others don't need that information. So just smile, say no, thank you, and keep moving. — Holly Mosier

I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this."
"I meant the baby, Jerk."
"Attached to me."
"You think you're cute, don't you?"
"Are you honestly asking me this? I know you're not debating it. — Pella Grace

You're not perfect. Sometimes, you can be a real jerk. Not on purpose. Just sometimes. But no matter what, you are a man of integrity. That is your defining characteristic. You can't see this, but it comes off you so strong that I have watched Avengers be intimidated by it. Be inspired by it. Your integrity carries a weight you can't imagine. It has meaning. — Mark Waid

You're gay," wash stated.
Rhodes nodded, a short jerk of his head, dropping his gaze to his beer.
"As in, you-like-men gay."
Still eying his beer, Rhodes gave an affirmative shrug.
"As in, you like-to-fuck-men gay."
"Yes! — Katie Allen

You're a jerk,' repeated the alien, 'a complete asshole. — Douglas Adams