Your Cousin Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes funerals can be good. It reunites you with your cousins you haven't seen in a while. — David Burtka

But if Frederica was aware of my sentiments, and begged Cousin Alverstoke to intervene - !" She shuddered, and clasped her hands tensely together. "You see, he could, Harry! He could arrange for Endymion to be sent abroad, for instance, and then I think I should die. Oh, my dear brother, there's no one to help us but you, and I count on your support! — Georgette Heyer

That's my cousin, dickwad," Agent Jaxon Tremain said from Hector's left.
Had Whacky Jacky been next to Dallas, he would have drilled his knuckles into the guy's bicep.
"Watch your mouth."
"By watch my mouth do you mean I should invite your cuz back to my place for a game of Hide the Magic Wand, or my new personal fave, Puff on the Magic Dragon?" Dallas asked conversationally.
"And I know what you're thinking. I'm really into wizardry these days. Well, you're right." Hector gave a rusty bark of laughter. He hadn't observed Dallas in this good a mood in a long time.
A low growl escaped Jaxon. "I meant I'd scoop out your liver with a spoon, you idiot!"
"Sterling silver or plastic?" Hector asked. In their line of work, details were important.
Besides, he liked being part of their banter. — Gena Showalter

And," added Mikey. "she's my sister."
The others looked at him for a moment, and broke out laughing.
"Yeah, yeah," Squirrel scoffed, "and the McGill is my cousin."
Now Allie burst out laughing, which made Mikey more annoyed.
"If the McGill was your cousin," Mikey said, "I can guarantee he'd disown you. — Neal Shusterman

My cousin Roger once told me, on the eve of his third wedding, that he felt marriage was addictive. Then he corrected himself. I mean early marriage, he said. The very start of a marriage. It's like a whole new beginning. You're entirely brand-new people; you haven't made any mistakes yet. You have a new place to live and new dishes and this new kind of, like, identity, this 'we' that gets invited everywhere together now. Why, sometimes your wife will have a brand-new name, even. — Anne Tyler

You can't just repurpose old material created for one platform, throw it up on another one, and then be surprised when everyone yawns in your face. No one would ever think it was a good idea to use a print ad for a television commercial, or confuse a banner ad for a radio spot. Like their traditional media platform cousins, every social media platform has its own language. — Gary Vaynerchuk

Then you believe I care more for my own feelings than yours, Cathy?" he said. "No, it was not because I disliked Mr. Healthcliff, but because Mr. Healthcliff dislikes me and is a most diabolical man, delighting to wrong and ruin those he hates, if they give him the slightest opportunity. I knew that you could not keep up an acquaintance with your cousin without being brought into contact with him; and I knew he would detest you, on my account; so for your own good, and nothing else, I took precautions that you should not see Linton again. — Emily Bronte

Hopefully as you get older, you start to learn how to live with your demon. It's hard at first. Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships or starve their beautiful bodies. But sometimes, you get a little older and get a little bored of the demon. Through good therapy and friends and self-love you can practice treating the demon like a hacky, annoying cousin. Maybe a day even comes when you are getting dressed for a fancy event and it whispers, "You aren't pretty," and you go, "I know, I know, now let me find my earrings." Sometimes you say, "Demon, I promise you I will let you remind me of my ugliness, but right now I am having hot sex so I will check in later. — Amy Poehler

O cousin Kate, my love was true,
Your love was writ in sand:
If he had fooled not me but you,
If you had stood where i stand,
He'd not have won me with his love,
Nor bought me with his land;
I would have spit into his face
And not have taken his hand.
Yet I have a gift you have not got,
And seem not like to get:
For all your clothes and wedding-ring
I've little doubt you fret.
My fair-haired son, my shame, my pride,
Cling closer, closer yet:
Your father would give lands for one
to wear his coronet — Christina Rossetti

words. "Hell no! Sarah took Davie to Bingo. My old man's working four to twelve." "Where's your sister?" "Let's get one thing straight," Stanley grumbled. "She's not my sister!" "Okay, smart ass. Where's your cousin?" "She's upstairs. And she's not my cousin either. She's not related to me at all!" JD took the joint from Stanley's thick fingers and — Mary Ann Gouze

The principals are quite simple. We can love people who treat us well. We cannot love people who treat us badly because, treating someone badly is not a virtue and we can only love virtue. I don't think that's controversial. I mean, there is no marriage therapist that I can imagine in the world who would say to a woman being beaten, humiliated, verbally abused, or completely ignored by her husband, "You just need to love him more. You need to work at making him happier." That would be sadistic in the extreme to say to someone.
So, in the same way I say, if anyone, I don't care if they are your priest, god, father, mother, or your Siamese twin cousin coming out of your elbow or ass. I don't care. If someone is treating you badly, that is not good for you. The solution is not you being so great that you both become better. That's not a realistic solution. — Stefan Molyneux

You're not leaving us, are you, cousin?"
"If you're going into the city, you may want to have a healer look at that chest of yours, brother. All that scratching you've been doing lately can't be good," Vigholf said.
"It might be scale-fungus," Meinhard added.
"And your pretty princess with the beautiful smile and alluring tail won't like that much."
"'Cause it spreads, it does!"
"Aww, now, Ragnar! That's rather a rude gesture! — G.A. Aiken

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my advice, in his book called "A Voyage round the world." — Jonathan Swift

How can I ever make you understand Cassie and me? I would have to take you there, walk you down every path of our secret shared geography. The truism says it's against all odds for a straight man and woman to be real friends, platonic friends; we rolled thirteen, threw down five aces and ran away giggling. She was the summertime cousin out of storybooks, the one you taught to swim at some midge-humming lake and pestered with tadpoles down her swimsuit, with whom you practiced first kisses on a heather hillside and laughed about it years later over a clandestine joint in your granny's cluttered attic. She painted my fingernails gold and dared me to leave them that way for work ... We climbed out her window and down the fire escape and lay on the roof of the extension below, drinking improvised cocktails and singing Tom Waits and watching the stars spin dizzily around us.
No. — Tana French

Your fey cousin here has the miraculous ability to hold his liquor
and mine, and yours, and the king's, and half the country's, I expect. — Alethea Kontis

My cousin once told me, 'You're tall, you're handsome - and you're gonna have to apologize for it the rest of your life.' He imparted that information to me. — Orlando Bloom

Tru, this is your home. You are my blood kin, my second cousin thrice removed. But blood kin's not the most important kin. Do you know what is?" "No, sir." "Love kin. And that comes from the heart. That's why this is your home. — G. Neri

To Miss Cooper
Cousin,
Conscious of the Charming Character which in every Country, and every Clime in Christendom is Cried, Concerning you, with Caution and Care I Commend to your Charitable Criticism this Clever Collection of Curious Comments, which have been Carefully Culled, Collected and Classed by your Comical Cousin
The Author — Jane Austen

Suddenly, I get this giddy desire to shock these guys a little. I continue, "These baboons really are our relatives. In fact, this baboon is my cousin." And with that I lean over and give Daniel a loud messy kiss on his big ol' nose. I get more of a response than I bargained for. The Masai freak and suddenly, they are waving their spears real close to my face, like they mean it. One is yelling, "He is not your cousin, he is not your cousin! A baboon cannot even cook ugali!" (Ugali is the ubiquitous and repulsive maize meal that everyone eats here. I almost respond that I don't really know how to cook the stuff either, but decide to show some prudence at last.) "He is not your cousin! — Robert M. Sapolsky

LADY CAPULET: Evermore weeping for your
cousin's death?
What, wilt thou wash him from his grave with tears?
An if thou couldst, thou couldst not make him live;
Therefore, have done: some grief shows much of love;
But much of grief shows still some want of wit.
JULIET: Yet let me weep for such a feeling loss.
LADY CAPULET: So shall you feel the loss,
but not the friend
Which you weep for.
JULIET: Feeling so the loss,
Cannot choose but ever weep the friend.
LADY CAPULET: Well, girl, thou weep'st not so much for
his death,
As that the villain lives which slaughter'd him. — William Shakespeare

You said your cousin was a necromancer. You know how the natural necromancers operate?
They twisted the head off your favorite doll, stuffed a dead bird into it, and made it walk around. And then they were puzzled why you got upset. — Ilona Andrews

Nevertheless, unless you can prove that you have at least one close Wizarding relative, you are now deemed to have obtained your magical power illegally and must suffer the punishment."
Ron glanced at Hermione, then said, "What if purebloods and half-bloods swear a Muggle-born's part of their family? I'll tell everyone Hermione's my cousin--"
Hermione covered Ron's hand with hers and squeezed it.
"Thank you, Ron, but I couldn't let you--"
"You won't have a choice," said Ron fiercely, gripping her hand back. "I'll teach you my family tree so you can answer questions on it."
Hermione gave a shaky laugh.
"Ron, as we're on the run with Harry Potter, the most wanted person in the country, I don't think it matters. If I was going back to school it would be different. — J.K. Rowling

Why did you put spaghetti sauce into your cousin's drink?"
"Because I like it that way," said Sarah, taking the glass. "You have your chemical stimulants and I have mine, monkey. — Seanan McGuire

Do you think they're doing it?' said Alexon. Charls coughed on his wine. 'I beg your pardon?' 'The King and Prince Laurent. Do you think they're doing it?' 'Well, it's not for me to say.' Charls avoided looked at the Prince. 'I think they are,' volunteered Guilliame. 'Charls met the Prince of Vere once. He said he was so beautiful that if he were a pet he'd spark a bidding war the likes of which no one had ever seen.' 'I meant, in an honourable way,' Charls said, quickly. 'And everyone in Akielos speaks of the virility of Damianos,' continued Guilliame. 'I don't think it should follow that - ' Charls began. 'My cousin told me,' said Alexon, proudly, 'he met a man who had once been a famous gladiator from Isthima. He lasted only minutes in the arena with Damianos. But afterwards Damianos had him in his chambers for six hours.' 'You see? How could a man like that resist a beauty like the Prince?' Guilliame sat back triumphantly. 'Seven hours,' said Lamen, frowning slightly. 'Here — C.S. Pacat

Ah, this is your cousin, is it, Harry?" said Mr. Weasley, taking another brave stab at making conversation. "Yep," said Harry, "that's Dudley." He and Ron exchanged glances and then quickly looked away from each other; the temptation to burst out laughing was almost overwhelming. Dudley was still clutching his bottom as though afraid it might fall off. Mr. Weasley, however, seemed genuinely concerned at Dudley's peculiar behavior. Indeed, from the tone of his voice when he next spoke, Harry was quite sure that Mr. Weasley thought Dudley was quite as mad as the Dursleys thought he was, except that Mr. Weasley felt sympathy rather than fear. — J.K. Rowling

As he takes his place I know that just as the crowd sees him and his sister standing on either side of their cousin, reminding everyone they are royal cousins, the crowd also sees me within arm's reach of the young lord rumored to be my lover. Guard your victor's ribbons carefully and you can do very well for yourself, Gargaron told me. As — Kate Elliott

Be that your cousin has influenced you in some way - but as for our Junior Surgeon," he turned to Carausius, "I remember that when first he was posted here, you yourself, Caesar, were not too sure of his good faith. This is surely some plot of Maximian's, to cast doubt and suspicion between the Emperor of Britain and the man who, however unworthily, serves him to the best of his ability as chief minister." Justin stepped forward, his hands clenched at his sides. "That is a foul lie," he said, for once without a trace of his stutter. "And you know it, Allectus; none better." "Will you grant me also a space to speak?" Carausius said quietly, and silence fell like a blight on the lamplit chamber. He looked round at all three of them, taking his time. "I remember my doubts, Allectus. I remember also that the — Rosemary Sutcliff

I always say that photography's closest cousin is poetry because of the way it sparks your imagination and leaves gaps for the viewer to fill in. — Alec Soth

You haven't lost your wits, have you?" Lopen asked, eyeing the bones. "Because if you have, I've got a cousin who makes this drink for people who've lost their wits, and it might make you better, sure." "If I'd lost my wits," Kaladin said, walking over to a pool of still water to wash off the carapace helm, "would I say that I had?" "I don't know," Lopen said, leaning back. "Maybe. Guess it doesn't matter if you're crazy or not." "You'd follow a crazy man into battle?" "Sure," Lopen said. "If you're crazy, you're a good type, and I like you. Not a killing-people-in-their-sleep type of crazy. — Brandon Sanderson

But that's the function I expect of you, cousin. It's why I chose you. I'll make it official. I will give you a new name. From this moment, you'll be called Breaking of the Habit, which in our tongue is Harq al-Ada. Come, cousin, don't be obtuse. My mother taught you well. Give me your Sardaukar. — Frank Herbert

Nice tackle, babe, he said. And then he kissed me. No doubt about the intention this time. Not the sort of kiss you'd give your cousin, for instance. More like the sort of kiss a man would give a woman when he wanted to rip her clothes off and give her a reason to sing the Hallelujah Chorus. — Janet Evanovich

Why was it so unlikely that you could meet your soul mate by hitting her with your vehicle? Why was it more likely you'd meet her at your cousin's wedding? — Will McIntosh

Cousins are forever and forever are cousins they stand by your side for you no matter what. — Brandi Carlile

The challenges that I face today are the same challenges we all face. Trying to balance your life between work, family, loved ones, your husband, your wife - boyfriend or girlfriend. If you have kids - balancing that, balancing your work with the time you spend with your kids. The idea of wanting to be a good parent and then the motivation to be a great parent. Whether you're black, white, any color. Rich, poor, regardless of religion, cousins of culture, we go through those. We have the same challenges. — Dwayne Johnson

Cousins are part of your life so stick with cuz not friends. — Claude Shannon

WARRIOR LIGHT

Jafar, Muhammad's cousin, was a warrior of concentrated light. When he rode up

to a walled city, it was no more to him than a gulp of water in his dry mouth. This

happened at Mutah. No one went out to fight him. "What's to be done?" the king asked

his clairvoyant minister. "If you strap on your sword with this one," replied

the advisor, "also wrap your shroud around you!" "But he's only one man!"

"Ignore the singularity. Look with your wisdom. He gathers multitudes, as stars

dissolve in sunlight." Human beings can embody a collective, a majesty

of spirit, which is not like having a name or a body. A herd of onagers may display

a thousand antler points; then a lion comes to the edge of their field: they scatter. — Jalaluddin Rumi

A flower is your cousin ... Sometimes a person has got to take a life, like a chicken's or a hog's when you need it ... But nobody is so hungry they need to kill a flower. Cherokee great-grandmother — Barbara Kingsolver

Quoting geneticists, Guy Murcia says we're all family. You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is further removed than your fiftieth cousin. Murcia also describes out kinship though an analysis of how deeply we share the air. With each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and-owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation- over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules exhaled by every person alive, as well as everyone who ever lived. (The Seven Mysteries of Life) — Rob Brezsny

Expecting anybody else?' Shane asked Eve. 'Your distant cousin Jack the Ripper dropping by too?'
'Screw you, Collins. — Rachel Caine

Slavery is not an indefinable mass of flesh. It is a particular, specific enslaved woman, whose mind is active as your own, whose range of feeling is as vast as your own; who prefers the way the light falls in one particular spot in the woods, who enjoys fishing where the water eddies in a nearby stream, who loves her mother in her own complicated way, thinks her sister talks too loud, has a favorite cousin, a favorite season, who excels at dressmaking and knows, inside herself, that she is as intelligent and capable as anyone. — Ta-Nehisi Coates

Three days later, just as I set off for work, the postman handed me a letter. I opened it on the bus, thinking it might be an early birthday card from some distant cousin. It read, in computer- ized text:
Dear Clark,
This is to show you that I am not an entirely selfish arse. And I do appreciate your efforts.
Thank you.
Will
I laughed so hard the bus driver asked me if my lottery numbers had come up. — Jojo Moyes

Plus, I can't look at him the same since I ran into Mrs. Marino at our family reunion. It's not comforting to learn you've made out with your cousin."
"Third cousin once removed," I argued. "It's hardly incest."
"Life is like a box of chocolates, Lisa," Katie noted around a half-chewed carrot stick. "You never know what you're going to get."
Lisa narrowed her eyes, confused. "Did she just quote Forrest Gump at me?"
"It's Matt's fault," I said. "She lost a bet and now anytime his name gets mentioned, she has sixty seconds to drop a relevant movie quote."
"That's insane."
"Yup," Katie piped in, "insanity tuns in my family. Its practically gallops."
"Classic." I high-fived her. — Cecily White

Amelia, do meet my cousin.
Your cousin?
Indeed. He might be the duke.
Then who are you?
Excellent question. — Julia Quinn

Hope is not logical. It always comes as a surprise, just when you think all hope is lost. Hope is the cousin to grief, and both take time: you can't short-circuit grief, or emptiness, and you can't patch it up with your bicycle tire tube kit. You have to take the next right action. — Anne Lamott

He's my brother. He's the one we're going to find.' 'Right.' 'We had a cousin who was disabled. He was always getting bullied and Paul was always sticking up for him.' 'He sounds like a nice guy, your brother,' said Marco kindly. 'He sounds like a dick,' Felix murmured under his breath. Marco tried not to laugh. Luckily Olivia hadn't heard him. 'He's brilliant,' said Olivia. 'When my mum and dad died he looked after me.' 'We'll find him,' said Marco. 'The dick,' Felix added, slightly too loudly, and Marco snorted. — Charlie Higson

Dread lord and cousin, may the almighty preserve your reverence and lordship in long life and good fortune. — Owen Glendower

My sisters call him Slinky Simon.'
Alec chuckled.
'It's only funny if he's not your cousin.'
'It's funny because it's true. — Julia Quinn

He then eyed Tristan and took a step back, stumbling over his cloak. "You must be the earl's twin brother. But your eyes ... how are they so green?"
"They were brown until your heathen of a cousin shot me through the heart," Tristan said crossly. — Chelsea Fine

My aversion to over-packing and its uptight cousin, over-planning, stems from the belief that neither tendency is a fake problem. These are not amusing tics. They are not superfluous reflections on the personality of the packer, but profound ones. They suggest a dubiousness of other lifestyles (racist), a conviction that the world won't have what you need (princess), and a lack of faith that you'll continue being human when it doesn't (misanthrope). Plus, you'll probably have to check your bags. And how hard is it, really? It's just the one planet. I think by now we can all agree that the foundation of world travel goes something like bring a cardigan. — Sloane Crosley

The whole guilt thing of not feeling Mexican enough was a big deal, too. On the one hand, you have your grandmother who is anointing you as a chosen one because you are light, but then you feel like you're less because you are lighter than your cousins, who are more down on the streets. You know? So that confusion was all I wrote about. — Matt De La Pena

Hermes gazed up at the stars. 'My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet
— Rick Riordan

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.' — Natasha Leggero

That's your business, isn't it, cousin? To make nothing your business. Even your own sons going to war. How I pleaded with you. But you buried your nose in those cursed books and let our sons go like they were a pair of haramis. — Khaled Hosseini

I shall be much obliged to you, cousin, if you will refrain from telling my sisters that she has a face like a horse!'
'But, Charles, no blame attaches to Miss Wraxton! She cannot help it, and that, I assure you, I have always pointed out to your sisters!'
'I consider Miss Wraxton's countenance particularly well-bred!'
'Yes, indeed, but you have quite misunderstood the matter! I meant a particularly well-bred horse!'
'You mean, as I am perfectly aware, to belittle Miss Wraxton!'
'No, no! I am very fond of horses!' Sophy said earnestly.
Before he could stop himself he found that he was replying to this. 'Selina, who repeated the remark to me, is not fond of horses, however, and she-' He broke off, seeing how absurd it was to argue on such a head.
'I expect she will be, when she has lived in the same house with Miss Wraxton for a month or two,' said Sophy encouragingly. — Georgette Heyer

Sadie . . ." He swallowed. "I'm not willin' to just be your cousin anymore." His shoulders squared. "Whatever it takes to win your affection, I'll do it. I'm gonna woo you like no man's ever wooed a woman before. An' I'm gonna win your love. You wait an' see. — Kim Vogel Sawyer

So many times through the course of a season you are defined by your backups. They have three players in [Kirk] Cousins, Niles [Paul] and [Bashaud] Breeland who may be better than the players that they're replacing. — Bill Cowher

Did you just hit on her by calling her your cousin?" asks Sadie. "'Cause, damn! — Adam Selzer

How are you?"
Rosa shrugged her shoulders. "My sister turned into a giant snake last night. And your cousin Tano - "
"Second cousin."
"He was there too. He was a tiger. I recognized him from his eyes. Then I fainted." She looked at him. "How does that sound? — Kai Meyer

I grew up watching my Dad, Uncles Ciaran Murray and Brendan Murray, and cousin, Aedin Murray, who were all national caliber Gaelic football players in Ireland. I try to watch as much Gaelic football as I can, it is my first love. I bleed Green, White, and Orange. Gaelic football players don't get paid to play, you play to represent your county that is more important than earning money. — Patrick Murray

Do not look at anybody in terms of friend or foe, brother or cousin; do not fritter away your mental energies in thoughts of friendship or enemity. Seeking the Self everywhere, be amiable and equal-minded towards all, treating all alike. — Adi Shankara

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth. — Joan Rivers

Idle Jeffrey, when asking his cousin for money: "I fear I have not a mercenary tendency."

The Chancellor of the Exchequer and his cousin, Plantagenet Palliser: "Men must have mercenary tendencies or they would not have bred. The man who plows, so he may live, does so because, luckily, he has mercenary tendencies."

Jeffrey: "Just so, but you see I am less lucky than the plowman."

Palliser: "There is no vulgar error so vulgar, that is to say common or erroneous, as that by which men have been taught to say that mercenary tendencies are bad. The desire for wealth is the source of all progress. Civilization comes from what men call greed. Let your mercenary tendencies be combines with honesty, and they cannot take you astray. — Anthony Trollope

Sometimes family doesn't always consist of your relatives or by blood. Sometimes your best friends can feel more like family than your cousins. I think everybody kind of has that same feeling. When you go through an accident together, when you go through a traumatic event, sometimes that brings you closer together. — Michael B. Jordan

You have hardened your heart against your "American cousin." It was courageous in the memoir to state so clearly how you had to harden your heart against so much, to survive. Americans believe that suffering makes saints of us, which is a joke. Still I realize you have no time for me in your life now. There is no "purpose" to me. Even — Joyce Carol Oates

You owe me!" -Stephanie
"Why do I owe you?" -Joe
"I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie
"Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe
"Well if you are going to be picky about it ... " -Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

One day I was in the studio with my cousin. My dad was on tour at the time, so just for fun I recorded some stuff with my cousin. We were just playing around. After my dad got back, one day he played what we recorded. He heard my part and was like, "Who is that?" My cousin was like, "Uh, that's your son!" So he was like, "That's hot. You wanna make a record?" — Lil' Romeo

I will not service your sister," he told her flatly, unable to think of anything else to say.
Elina laughed. "She does not want servicing. At least not from you."
"But when I came into your room earlier - "
"It gets cold on Steppes. We share beds. We share food. We do not share cocks. There is no cock sharing among the Daughters of the Steppes. That is disgusting."
"So then earlier . . ."
"She was inviting you to nap with us, like our brothers and cousins sometimes do. But not fuck."
"Oh."
"You sound disappointed."
"No. Just depressingly relieved."
"What?"
"Beautiful sisters invite me to bed - I usually dive in headfirst. A little time away with you and suddenly I'm . . . my father."
"I like your father. Now he is charming. You are dolt with ineffective travel-cow and cousin that keeps trying to dress me like doll."
"Is that where you got that eye patch from?"
"Yes."
"It's a nice color on you. — G.A. Aiken

Do you mind not intoning the responses, Jeeves?" I said. "This is a most complicated story for a man with a headache to have to tell, and if you interrupt you'll make me lose the thread. As a favour to me, therefore, don't do it. Just nod every now and then to show that you're following me."
I closed my eyes and marshalled the facts.
"To start with then, Jeeves, you may or may not know that Mr Sipperley is practically dependent on his Aunt Vera."
"Would that be Miss Sipperley of the Paddock, Beckley-on-the-Moor, in Yorkshire, sir?"
"Yes. Don't tell me you know her!"
"Not personally, sir. But I have a cousin residing in the village who has some slight acquaintance with Miss Sipperley. He has described her to me as an imperious and quick-tempered old lady ... But I beg your pardon, sir, I should have nodded."
"Quite right, you should have nodded. Yes, Jeeves, you should have nodded. But it's too late now. — P.G. Wodehouse

Well, in Colombia everybody's very voluptuous, and you're supposed to be. You don't want to be skinny when all of your cousins are mermaids. You grow up thinking that's how beauty is. — Sofia Vergara

Wield your assets like a blade, Cousin. No man has invented a corset for our brains. Let them think they rule the world. It's a queen who sits on that throne. Never forget that. There's no reason you can't wear a simple frock to work, then don the finest gown and dance the night away. But only if it pleases you. — Kerri Maniscalco

The health benefits, both mental and physical, of humor are well documented. A good laugh can diffuse tension, relieve stress, and release endorphins into your system, which act as a natural mood elevator. In Norman Cousin's book, Anatomy of an Illness, Cousin's describes the regimen he followed to overcome a serious debilitating disease he was suffering from. It included large doses of laughter and humor. Published in 1976, his book has been widely accepted by the medical community. — Cherie Carter-Scott

Whoa, got it bad for your cousin's girl already, huh? You gonna try to get with that?"
I eyed Cassi in Ty's arms and shook my head as I brought my beer up to take another long drink. "Nope." Yes, yes, I am. — Molly McAdams

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada. — Tucker Carlson

Shane:is your distant cousin jack the ripper dropping in for coffee.
eve:screw you collins — Rachel Caine

I mean it, it's another gap in your education. Until you can learn to understand her, you'll get nowhere as a detective. She's everybody's conscience, Bob - the universal maiden aunt, cousin or sister. Humanity's backbone. Throughout history, she's gone to the stake for you again and again; not with any sense of heroism, but as a matter of principle and because it would never occur to her to do anything else. — Heron Carvic

What about Danny Thomas?" Uncle Hal asks. "What happened to him?
"Dead," Uncle Abdelhafiz says. "Nice Lebanese boy."
"Never mind about Danny Thomas, look what happened to your whole family! Look at your cousin Farouq, Great Uncle Ziad, Auntie Seena and Jimmy's son Jalal," Aunt Jean cuts in disapprovingly.
"Dead, dead, dead, and in jail. — Diana Abu-Jaber

The llama was wearing a bridle with a rope attached where you might expect to find reins. A greeting card was hanging from his neck:
'Hola Como se llama? Yo me llamo C. Llama.'
During his preschool years, Clay's favorite cartoon had featured a Spanish-speaking boy naturalist who was always saving animals with his girl cousin, and Clay still knew enough of the language to translate:
'Hello. How do you call yourself? I call myself Como C. Llama.'
The llama's name is What is your name? — Pseudonymous Bosch

I wish you hadn't told her. If you must know, I could have done without your telling her I commited statutory rape on the living room couch with her cousin. - Michael Curry — Anne Rice

I ought to tell you I'm probably your cousin. — Henry James

Imagine that you wanted your children to learn the names of all their cousins, aunts and uncles. But you never actually let them meet or play with them. You just showed them pictures of them, and told them to memorize their names. Each day you'd have them recite the names, over and over again. You'd say, "OK, this is a picture of your great-aunt Beatrice. Her husband was your great-uncle Earnie. They had three children, your uncles Harpo, Zeppo, and Gummo. Harpo married your aunt Leonie ... yadda, yadda, yadda." — Brian X. Foley

I had a cousin once who lived in your dictionary, inside the binding, and there was a tiny hole which he used for a door, and it led out between trichotomy and trick. Now what do you think of that? It was only a few minutes walk to trigger, then over the page to trinity, trinket and trional, and there my cousin used to fall asleep. — Janet Frame

Do research. Feed your talent. Research not only wins the war on cliche, it's the key to victory over fear and it's cousin, depression. — Robert McKee

Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after that, everybody. Every woman in here got intimidated by a guy, pushed around too much, now you're new boyfriend tickles you a little too hard, boom restraining order. Every guy here had a woman sleep with his best friend, now your new girlfriend hugs your cousin a little long, boom car bomb. — Christopher Titus

Dasha introduced Alexander to Marina. They shook hands and both stared at each other for longer than was appropriate. Marina, embarrassed, stepped away, averting her gaze. Alexander smiled, putting his arm around Dasha. "Dasha," he said, "so this is your cousin Marina." Tatiana wanted to shake her head at him, while a perplexed Marina remained speechless. Later on in the kitchen, Marina said to Tatiana, "Tania, why did Dasha's Alexander look at me as if he knew me?" "I have no idea." "He is adorable." "You think so?" said Dasha, who was heading past the girls to the bathroom, leaving Alexander in the corridor. "Well, keep your hands off him," she added cheerfully. "He's mine." "Don't you think?" Marina whispered to Tatiana. "He's all right," said Tatiana. "Help me wash this frying pan, will you?" Adorable Alexander stood in the doorway, smoking and grinning at Tatiana. — Paullina Simons

Your cousin Maureen just got a job at the button factory. They're probably still hiring.
Helen Plum — Janet Evanovich

Why don't you get to the point," she drawled. "I want to have a few hours of sleep tonight." Not a lie. With every breath, exhaustion wrapped tighter around her bones.
"I would have thought," Arobynn said, "given how close you two were and your abilities, that you'd somehow be able to sense it. Or at least hear of it, considering what he was accused of."
The prick was enjoying every second of this. If Dorian was dead or hurt
"Your cousin Aedion has been imprisoned for treason - for conspiring with the rebels here in Rifthold to depose the king and put you back on the throne."
The world stopped.
Stopped, and started, then stopped again. — Sarah J. Maas

My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist will blow away your expectation of what late-model literature has to be. Unified by obsessions too eerie not to be real, this gorgeous rearrangement of our century's mental furniture is testimony to a new talent of Burroughs/Coover/Acker scale. — David Foster Wallace

Well, if you sat eating as though nothing mattered save your dinner I'm not surprised," said Juliana
viciously. "If I were not so angry with her, the deceitful, sly wretch, I could pity her for all she must
have undergone at your hands."
"Seeing me eat was the least of her sufferings," answered the Marquis. "She underwent much, but it
may interest you to know, Juliana, that she never treated me to the vapours, as you seem like to do."
"Then I can only say, Vidal, that either she had no notion what a horrid brutal man you are, or that she
is just a dull creature with no nerves at all."
For a moment Vidal did not answer. Then he said in a level voice: "She knew." His lip curled. He
glanced scornfully at his cousin. "Had I carried you off as I carried her you would have died of fright
or hysterics, Juliana. Make no mistake, my dear; Mary was so desperately afraid she tried to put a
bullet through me. — Georgette Heyer

I've met your cousin," he told her, and her veins turned to ice.
"Oh,really? When was that?"
"A little over two years ago.I'm afraid it wasn't a very pleasant encounter."
"What a surprise," she said sarcastically. Then she couldn't resist asking, "What did you think of her?"
Hawk watched her intently. "She seemed nice enough. She's no better at following orders than you are-and not nearly as pretty." He grinned broadly. It was the first real smile she'd seen.
"What would you like for dinner?" she asked, moving the subject to safer ground. Her cheeks burned from the compliment-or insult-she wasn't sure which. — Kat Martin

Joe, you did fine," Mercer says. "You were great. But there is no question that we are in the shit. We are in the savage jungle. For some reason, which I do not yet apprehend, there are titans stirring in the deeps and shadows on the stairwell. As my youngest cousin Lawrence would say, we are up to our necks in podu. This, incidentally, is Reggie, who is one of my occasional thugs," indicating the gnarled youth on his left. "Now retiring to become a vet, would you believe, but for the next ten minutes you can trust him with your life, only don't, trust me instead. Anyway ... good evening, and what the fuck is going on, and try the lamb, it's excellent. — Nick Harkaway

Yes and I had heard it before. But what is that to me? If there is no other objection to my marrying your nephew, I shall certainly not be kept from it by knowing that his mother and aunt wished him to marry Miss de Bourgh. You both did as much as you could in planning the marriage. Its completion depended on others. If Mr. Darcy is neither by honour or inclination confined to his cousin, why not is he to make another choice? And if I am that choice, why may not I accept him? — Jane Austen

This smells like shit," MacRuairi said, smearing the black seal grease over his naked skin. They'd bundled their armor and weapons in a pack to keep them dry when they crossed the river. The seal grease would not only help them blend into the darkness, it protected them from the cold December waters.
"You'll be grateful for in in a few minutes." MacSorley grinned. "The water will freeze your bollocks off."
"Which shouldn't be a problem for you anymore," MacRuairi said dryly.
"Damn, cousin, was that a joke?" MacSorley shook his head. "It does snow in hell."
MacRuairi muttered something under his breath as he finished applying the grease. — Monica McCarty

Your very great pardon, Cousin," said Sphene, "but this having meetings so we can plan to have meetings business is bullshit. I want to talk about ancillaries. — Ann Leckie

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. — Jeff Foxworthy

I never should have come back to Jupiter Point. I've ruined everything for Evie."

"That's not true," Suzanne said impatiently. "My cousin's a lot happier since you got here. Regular sex will do that for you."

Josh snorted coffee though his nose, then clapped a hand to his face with a moan of agony. "You should really warn a guy before tossing the word'sex' out there."

"Sorry, big guy. I'll be more careful with your delicate sensibilities from now on," Suzanne teased. — Jennifer Bernard

Ian gave a sigh of exaggerated patience and glanced at Bones.
"Being related to her through you is a real trial."
This time, Bones didn't attempt to conceal his grin. "That's why you can pick your friends but not your family, cousin."
An emotion flashed across Ian's face before he covered it with his usual I'm-a-pain-in-the-ass-and-proud-of-it smirk. If it were anyone else, I'd swear it was childlike joy at hearing Bones call him "cousin". Recent events had revealed their long-lost human connection, making Ian both Bones's vampire sire and his only living blood relative.
That meant I was never getting rid of him. Then again, considering what my blood relatives had done, Ian was almost a saint by comparison. — Jeaniene Frost

Kat picked up a folder labeled Senior. "What are these? Bank records?" She did a double take, looking at Hale. "Did your dad really pay two million dollars to the campaign to elect Ross Perot?"
"I ... " Hale said, stumbling for words and thumbing through another file. "Wow. I guess my cousin Charlotte isn't really my cousin."
"Don't worry," Kat said. "It looks like there might be a kid in Queens who is. — Ally Carter

A movie playing on the TV screen in front of us. Some sort of bad Tom Cruise drama. I've never liked Tom Cruise. He always reminded me of someone's creepy cousin, who smiles too big before he touches your butt and whispers something gross in your ear with hot whiskey breath. — Erin McCarthy

He's just, your cousin, ay, abhorrently, He'd wash his hands in blood, to keep them clean. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I suggest that people walk around under the moon barefoot, as I have today. There's that voice of your mom and dad and aunt and big sister and uncle and annoying cousin in your ear saying "Your feet are going to get dirty and you're going to turn into a bat" so the defiance in the act of simply taking your shoes off and standing there under that moon - is astronomical. A dirty-feet-moonlit-defiance that will make you smile. — C. JoyBell C.