You Jerk Quotes & Sayings

So ... what are you up to?" she asked.
"I'm looking at a pretty girl."
Huh? If this were texting, that would definitely earn a WTF reply. "Okaay ... "
"She's blonde, wearing blue and standing with two friends. She's talking on her phone, probably to some unworthy jerk, but damn, I wish I were him. — Cherrie Lynn

So why did you come over?" I said to Max.
He turned around and started walking backward. He spread his arms out wide. "For love!" He had to jerk his hands back in when they got too close to the flames.
Cole broke out in spasms of laughter.
"What is it?"
Cole looked at me. "I brought him over. Ages ago. — Brodi Ashton

There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there's no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you're the one who ends up looking like a jerk. — Travis Bradberry

I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later. — Zach Braff

Life sucks when you find out Superman's a jerk. — Lisa Turner

That, I realized, is the great beauty of dreams: the devil may inevitably find a way to jerk you off, but you can always wake up before he makes you cum. — Jim Carroll

If you could jerk off to something else, like a hamburger, could you imagine the delight in being alive? — Jonathan Goldstein

You know that jerk that drives up the shoulder on the freeway, passing perhaps miles of cars stuck patiently in traffic, just knowing someone up there, eventually, will let him in?
It's the same thing!
Someone always accommodates the pushy, petulant jerk!
Someone always lets that guy with the silver Porsche Boxster in and the rest of us, stuck behind the guy letting him in, have to suffer.
It's the same with people all over.
It only takes one sucker. One push-over to mess it up for the rest of us. — Logan Ryan Smith

I think something must happen to you when you get into eight grade. Like the Doug Swieteck's Brother Gene switches on and you become a jerk.
Which may have been Hamlet, Prince of Denmark's problem, who, besides having a name that makes him sound like a breakfast special at Sunnyside Morning Restaurant
something between a ham slice and a three-egg omelet
didn't have the smarts to figure out that when someone takes the trouble to come back from beyond the grave to tell you that he's been murdered, it's probably behooveful to pay attention
which is the adjectival form. — Gary D. Schmidt

I mean, you have had sixteen years of humiliation. Begging for lifts from people who don't give a shit about your image. You've had to stand and watch as all the pretty girls drove off in some older jerk's car. Humiliation - I know, I've been through it. But that's all over now. Les, that thing in your wallet, that's no ordinary piece of paper. That's a driver's license. — Meredith Castile

I don't think I am very easy to work for because everything has to be just right or we don't put it out. But at the same time, all the people that work for me have a "no asshole" rule, if you're a jerk you're fired, so it's a great team and a lot of skillful people at the top of the game, anybody from management to the agents to the publicists to the day-to-day website stuff and it's just a great team. — Jeff Dunham

A person with grace is somebody who's socially graceful or is a classy person, but sometimes you just feel the opposite of that, and you just feel like a jerk and a loser and a weirdo. — Matt Berninger

You betcha. If I get to punch a manic, lanky jerk in the face, my night will be complete." I gave her a fierce grin, still riding off the energy of the crowd. — Alexandra Martin

Dealing with Dillan being a jerk can mess up any saint on a good day. And you know I'm no saint. — Kate Evangelista

I feel like my own background in improv and doing documentaries makes me really comfortable with a situation where you're letting things unfold and you don't have to be a jerk, stomping his feet, trying to get his way on everything. — Seth Gordon

Nan was shocked. "What a jerk! Mina, you must feel awful. He didn't try to take advantage of you, did he? I'm so mad- I want to go searching for him and give him a piece of my mind, and a kick in the rear. And Brody, why did you bring such a loser for Mina to date? — Chanda Hahn

I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there. — Jerry Seinfeld

10:16am
Thinking about Tina.
11:04am
Thinking about Tina's perfect ass.
12:37pm
Thinking about Tina panting under me in bed.
1:02pm
Going to the bathroom to jerk off.
I walk back into my office after finally getting some much needed relief.
Not hard anymore, are you?! Take that, penis! — Belle Aurora

Don't point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off. That's how a real politician defers blame. — Jarod Kintz

The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other. — Julian Casablancas

Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk. — Jim Gaffigan

She smiled. "You're very sweet." "Now you go too far - " She shoved her hand under his nose. "This is your ring you see, my lord, and that gives me the right to tell you to be quiet. So, be quiet. I'll probably be back to thinking you're a jerk tomorrow, so live with the compliment while it's still in force. Got it?" He grumbled something she didn't catch. But then, to her utter surprise, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it in a rough, Richardy kind of way. Then he dropped it as if it had been a hot potato, set her on her feet, then leaned his head back against the chair and pretended to snore. Jessica went to bed with a smile on her face. — Lynn Kurland

I know that I was a total jerk for a few weeks. But I do trust you," Fitz told Sophie. "I hope you trust me. — Shannon Messenger

They say for every light on Broadway there is a broken heart, an unrealized dream. And that's the same in any profession. So you have to want it more than anyone else, and you have to be your own champion, be your own superstar, blaze your own path, say yes to opportunity, follow your instincts, be eager, and passionate, keep learning, nurture your real, lasting relationships, don't be a jerk, and free your imagination so you can become all that you want to be. — Sutton Foster

Will, you look like hell!" I yelled through the glass door.
"I can't say how you look," he said. "But if you look like you sound, you look like a jerk. Please help me. — Alex Flinn

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of. — Greg Behrendt

Australians and New Zealanders don't talk about Gallipoli in terms of invasion. I started talking about it and using that word and at first there were a few people who were getting upset in the same way that in any country, if you work for a newspaper you know exactly the dude you can go and talk to get a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to something to do with the military. — Russell Crowe

I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway. — Maha Erwin

Abby wouldn't want you to suffer because of some jerk that kidnapped her. She would want you to go on your trip so that she would have fun torturing you for not being a puddle on the ground with a box of tissues and an empty gallon of ice cream by your side. Then afterwards to hit you for thinking she was seriously hoping you would be doing that. — Ottilie Weber

Writing to you is like some embarrassing remake of Waiting For Godot. Why don't you jerk off on paper in my direction, as I've done. I am so unhappy it's amusing. — Maryse Holder

Suddenly Tink was right in front of my face, causing me to jerk back. "I know you're mad at me and you probably want to slice and dice me up and wear my skin as a new bracelet."
I glanced around. "Um. That's not exactly what I want to do."
Hope widened his eyes.
"But I kind of want to flush you down a toilet," I amended.
He gasped. "I'd get stuck! And these pipes are old. How would you even do that? I'm not a goldfish."
I rolled my eyes. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

What are the differences between computer and humanity??
If computer get hot, there is a fan for the computer. If a man get hot, which will mean to much information in head, the humanity start to masturbate!
But the question is why computer have one fan and humanity have two hands??
It's simple as that!
Fan can be replaced, but one hand can't be replaced if it's broken, so it's gave one more if you have problem with the one to use the other. Take it as a gift! — Deyth Banger

The Grand Canyon ... " Jason recalled that day on the Skywalk, when one of his jerk classmates turned out to be a wind spirit. "Dylan? Are you kidding me? I'm breathing Dylan?" "Yes," Kym said. "That seems to be his name." Jason shuddered. "I'll let him go as soon as I reach the surface. No worries." "Farewell, then," said the goddess. "And may the Fates smile upon you ... assuming the Fates survive. — Rick Riordan

You nightmare, gasped and jerk up all at once where I bolt too, hand flown to rest on his kidneys. Confused bedclothes, the sulphurous dark. Worse for you, the same war, another battle so undoing that in daylight you won't admit it, nothing, nothing, avert and work. His purple-circled eyes could have been anywhere. She sets a pan, quietly, of biscuits. Bring me morning's water bucket, then turn wordless out. Finished enough, now I will out too, Mr. Whitman in scandalous hand with a leaf to hold my place. Rivering. Greening. It all stops, water too silty and feet booted, she crooks in a moss-tree and is lost, forgets even to ask for moccasins. I have wrapped fear into linen and hoped it into lavender, saved for funerary. At noon he looks; returns, admits. Across the tablecloth can ask Where did you come from. — JSA Lowe

She'd cried loudly enough that the man sitting across from her had offered her a tissue, and she'd screamed, what do you think you're looking at jerk? At him, because that was what you did in New York. After that she felt a little better. — Cassandra Clare

You jerk off feel great you wanna go working out.Keep jerking off and working out life is good. — Elliott Hulse

How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don't give your chain to jerks! — Bill Crawford

If the boss is a jerk, get over it. First of all, don't you think there's a good chance that your boss's boss knows what's going on? If so, just keep your head down and do the work. Usually, if you put in maximum effort and produce excellent results, someone in the company is going to take notice. Either you will get promoted or your jerky boss will get the heave-ho. It happens all the time. — Suze Orman

I now watch porn, but I don't have the feeling to go to the bath and start to jerk off. It's the world bad idea ever came. I have quite jerk off and I will quit it's not the way I should live, the same is for you! — Deyth Banger

Good night, Gabriel.' [Kaitlyn] said
You jerk
[Gabriel] widened his eyes. 'Don't you want to stay? It's a big bed. — L.J.Smith

I want to give you back your first kiss, the one that jerk stole from
you. And I want it to be something that even a coma can't make you
forget. — Shelly Crane

But I've kept first of March as my birthday as I like to tease Zed about dating an older woman. And my parents wouldn't understand if I told them about the soulfinder bond and tried to change it."
"They don't know?"
"Well, I think they've picked up that there's something special between Zed and me but I'm not sure how I'd even start to explain to non-savants. I was exactly overjoyed when Zed filled me in about it all the first time."
"What did you do?"
"Thumped him with a shopping bag and told him he was a jerk."
"Ouch. — Joss Stirling

I pressed forward, pushing my body along hers, and wrapped my arms around her waist. Some of the intensity of my anger dissipated and drained away. After a very long, steamy kiss, I broke away, breathing hard.
Rimmel's head collapsed against the wall and she stared up at me with unfocused hazel eyes. The flecks of color in the center were green today. "Romeo," she gasped.
I pulled back enough so I could lift her arm and grasp her fingers. She made a sound of protest when I pushed back the material of the shirt once more and stared down at the dark blotches marring her skin.
"How were you going to explain this to me?" I rumbled.
"I wasn't going to lie, it that's what you're implying," she snapped.
"Ah, baby." I groaned and lifted her wrist to press my lips to the marks. "I'm being a jerk."
"You said it ... " She agreed, letting the rest of her sentence fall away.
I smiled against her skin and then kissed her inner wrist once more. — Cambria Hebert

Hey, Hot Stuff, Can't wait till you get over that guy you were with. He sounds like a real jerk. Hope it's soon. You're way too tasty to be alone for too long. Come find me. I'm out here waiting. Your Future — Greg Behrendt

He's not an JERK, he's just a JERK to you! — Renee Wade

There was so much to learn from every place. Or at least something worth watching. Who was in love with their best friend's boy- or girl-friend, who was in love with their best friend, who cut, who starved, who locked themselves in the handicapped bathroom to jerk off or cry, who was addicted to what or raped by whom
it was everywhere, a wonderful world of darkness and desire right under the roaring bleachers, if you had your eye out. — Brian McGreevy

I believe in the same thing they believe in,' I say, with a jerk of my chin toward town and St. Columba's. 'I just don't believe you can find it in a building. — Maggie Stiefvater

Good morrow to you, Jessie," Kendrick called. "Jessica," Richard said, giving Kendrick another jerk. "Her name is Jessica! — Lynn Kurland

The window rattles without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wind scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment building. I know all these facts about you and there is no longer any use for them. What will I do with your license plate number, and where you hid the key outside so we'd never get locked out of this shaky building? What good does it do me, your pants size and the blue cheese preference for dressing? Who opens the door in the morning now, and takes the newspaper out of the plastic bag when it rains? I'll never get back all the hours I was nice to your parents. I nudge my cherry tomatoes to the side of the plate, bastard, but no one is waiting there with a fork to eat them. I miss you and I love you, bastard bastard bastard, come and clean the onion skins out of the crisper and trim back the tree so I can sleep at night. — Daniel Handler

Okay. What do I have to do?"
"Unless you plan on creating a door and walking the Paths alone, you really ought to take my hand."
"I mean when we get there, you jerk. — Kiersten White

Did you seriously jerk off just now?" I demand.

He nods as if it's no biggie. "What, you think I can sit through a whole movie with blue balls?"

I gawk at him. "So you can't have sex with anyone while I'm in the house, but you can go upstairs and do that?"

A wolfish grin stretches his mouth. "I could've done it down here, but then you would've been too tempted to take over for me. I was trying to be nice."

It's hard not to roll my eyes. So I don't bother fighting the urge. "Trust me, I would have kept my hands to myself."

"With my cock right there in the open? No way. You wouldn't be able to help yourself." He arches a brow. "I have a great cock. — Elle Kennedy

Ruxs moaned a slutty sound, his hips speeding up and Green eagerly matched him. "Soon I'm going to put that pretty cock in my mouth and suck you until you explode down my throat," he said, licking the shell of Ruxs' ear. "Chris," Ruxs hissed. "I'm not gonna last." Green could feel his own balls tightening. It'd been too long since he'd had something besides his toys and his hand to pleasure him. Ruxs' cock was hot and heavy against his. Pulsing greedily. "You like me talking to you like that?" Green squeezed his fist tighter, making sure to flick the cap of Ruxs' bulging head with every stroke. "Answer me." He bent down and bit Ruxs' nipple, making him jerk so hard he almost fell off of him. "Shit!" Ruxs yelled. Green slowed his movement and raised his head. "Well, look what I found." "You talk too damn much." Ruxs gripped his head and lowered him back to his nipple. Green — A.E. Via

It's been kind of hard, I'm labeled as a jerk right now, you know what I mean? But I love it. I've been a jerk all my life. My momma loves this jerk. My kids love this jerk. I'm going to be a jerk in a good way, though. I'm going to be a jerk to the other teams and just go out there and play basketball. I can do that. — Stephen Jackson

My father used to say that if a man fools you once, he's a jerk. If he fools you twice, you're a jerk. Only he didn't use the word "jerk." — Ellen Goodman

Even thought you've been acting like a jerk all night, you're still here. I could tell you were angry. So you're angry; at least you're something. You're not nothing anymore. — Jennifer R. Hubbard

As an author the question I get asked the most is, "why do you write?" My knee jerk response is, "Because I love it," which is true, but not the whole truth.
So here is my revised response to that question; "I write for the thirteen year old me who hated reading and craved something different than the boring literature I was forced to read for school. I write to see something I want to read exist in the world. I write because it becomes unbearable to hold so many stories in my head without a way to express them, but most importantly, I write to be true to myself. — Day Parker

He tried to remove it as gently as he could, but it wouldn't budge so he gave it a pretty good jerk and it ripped the skin on my lip. He got the butt all right, only now I could feel and taste the blood that was starting to drip down from my lip onto my survival vest. "Christ, you're bleeding, am I gonna have to Medivac you as well? Hey Doc, Captain Spicer is bleeding heavily from his lip, what should I do?" "Well Captain, you could put a tourniquet around his neck." "Naw, he looks gray in the face already. — W.R. Spicer

Sometimes you walk into things, that, if you were paying attention, vibrationally, you would know right from the beginning that it wasn't what you are wanting. In most cases, your initial knee-jerk response was a pretty good indicator of how it was going to turn out later. The things that give most of you the most grief are those things that initially you had a feeling response about, but then you talked yourself out of it for one reason or another. — Esther Hicks

Hello-o-o-o-o, Nick," I said, hitting thek hard. "You're the world's biggest jerk for what you did to Jax. You ever show your scrawny face in Cincinnati again, and I'm going to shove a broomstick up your ass and set it on fire. You got that? — Kim Harrison

I look up but don't spot him. "I take care of myself. I ain't living with nobody. Got my own digs. What are you doing up there?"
"Tracking the Hag. Trying to devise a way to trap her. She's fast but she's not a sifter."
I jerk, and look around warily. That's all we need right now. "Is she here?"
"If you brought that crazy bitch near me again." Ryodan doesn't finish his sentence. He doesn't need to. — Karen Marie Moning

I'm grieving over what a jerk you are... — Maria Semple

Having been bullied growing up, it's something that's really near and dear to my heart. You probably won't have many friends on Snapchat if you're being a jerk. — Evan Spiegel

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk. — Rob Huebel

Is he bothering you?"
"Nah just some old pervert waiting for the sex show."
The ghost lips curled "If I was alive I'd teach you some manners First I'd-"
"I'm sure there are losts of thing you'd do to me if you were alive, but seeing as though your're not, I guess you're stuck watching ... " (makes a jerk-off gesture) — Kelley Armstrong

How can you possibly think I'd want you to sacrifice yourself to save me? As if there wasn't enough danger, now I have to worry you'll take a bullet for me."
My arms crossed as his anger ignited my own.
"As if, you jerk. You can take your own stupid bullet. — Corrine Jackson

Get off me, baby, gotta shower." I rolled off but he rolled right on top of me. "I thought you had to shower," I asked when I caught his eyes. He held my gaze for a moment and I couldn't read his face before his head dipped and I felt his nose tweak my ear. "I'm sorry I was a dick," he whispered there. There it was. That was all he had to do and I knew at that moment there would be times when he'd be a jerk and that was all he'd ever have to do. My arms slid around him. "Honey," I whispered back. He gave my shoulder a bristly kiss and then he was gone. — Kristen Ashley

I'm not sure what a good person is, exactly. On the one hand, it could be someone who always play by the rules. But someone can follow the rules and still be a real jerk, you know? In fact, some of the biggest idiots I know are people who follow the rules, usually because they make you feel like crap when you don't. — Michael Thomas Ford

Burnett wasn't fooled, that was aparent by his expression, but he didn't argue, either. Well, as long as one didn't call slamming the door an argument.
"Jerk" Holiday muttered.
"I can hear you" he retorted from the other side of the wall. — C.C. Hunter

You hate the very source of your life, it's ultimate basis - for there's no denying it, 'sex is fundamental. And you hate it, hate it.' 'Me?' It was a novel accusation. Spandrell was accustomed to hearing himself blamed for his excessive love of women and the sensual pleasures. 'Not only you. All these people.' With a jerk of his head he indicated the other diners. 'And all the respectable ones too. Practically everyone. It's the disease of modern man. I call it Jesus's disease on the analogy of Bright's disease. Or rather Jesus's and Newton's disease; for the scientists are as much responsible as the Christians. So are the big business men, for that matter. It's Jesus's and Newton's and Henry Ford's disease. Between them, the three have pretty well killed us. Ripped the life out of our bodies and stuffed us with hatred.' Rampion — Aldous Huxley

Yeah. Go ahead and pick something to watch," he answers. "I'm just popping upstairs to jerk it and then I'll join you."

"Okay, I think I'm in the mood for - wait, what? — Elle Kennedy

Who cares where you went to school or where you work? The question is: Is your everyday experience good, healthy, beautiful? Because I have to tell you, while it might be "cool" to work for certain companies, if your job is stupid, stressful and your boss is a jerk, there is nothing good or prestigious about that. While it might seem right to go to a prestigious school, if classes are overcrowded and students are nervous, anxious, religious zealots from certain counties, are you sure you want to go there? What's good about that? To believe in prestige is to privilege abstract, collective impression over palpable, daily experience. To which I say: fuck prestige. Do what serves your everyday vitality. — Daniel Coffeen

Last, but not least
in fact, this is most important
you need a happy ending. However, if you can create tragic situations and jerk a few tears before the happy ending, it will work much better. — Satyajit Ray

I know that I'm definitely not a big big snob, and I know that at the times that I am a diva I know I'm being a diva. It's kind of annoying to know that you are. Because it's a person I do not want to be. So I'm trying my best not to become a jerk. — Jackie Evancho

Keesha looked at me for a long time. "I did leave you alone. We all did. But you didn't get better. You didn't stop. You're still doin' all your weird shit. And I think it's time to stop."
"You think it's time to stop!" I exploded, and lunged at her with my hands outstretched. I pushed her real hard. She almost fell down. "I don't care what time you think it is!" I screamed. "Do you think I want to do this! Do you think I like it?"
"You pushed me!"
"Yeah. So what?"
"You're so afraid of being interrupted that you pushed me!"
"I'm not scared of being interrupted, you jerk! I'm ... I'm scared ... I'm scared of being." I crumpled into a ball and sat down where I was standing. I sat on a crack. Unevenly.
"Who are you anymore, Tara?"
Tears spilled over my frozen lashes and disappeared across my cheekbones. I had never felt so defeated. "I don't know. — Terry Spencer Hesser

Spoiler: I didn't win the Main Event. You had suspicions, you say? For one thing, the subtitle of this book would be "The Amazing Life-Affirming Story of an Unremarkable Jerk Who Won the World Series of Poker!" instead of having the word "Death" in it. For another, do these sound like the words of a motherfucker who won a million goddamn dollars? — Colson Whitehead

As you get to know me, you kind of figure me out, that I'm not as probably as bad of a guy that I've been reported to be. I'm not that jerk. — Terrell Owens

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. — Steve Martin

This is a terrible plan," he says to Han Solo - Solo, who crouches down so as not to be seen. Han Solo, the jerk. The very handsome, very charismatic jerk. "And I hate you very much. — Chuck Wendig

Someday, if we won, if humanity survived, we'd be in the history books. Me and Jake and Rachel and Cassie and Tobias and Ax. They'd be household names, like generals from World War II or the Civil War. Patton and Eisenhower, Ulysses Grant and Robert E. Lee. Kids would study us in school. Bored, probably.
And then the teacher would tell the story of Marco. I'd be a part of history. What I was about to do. Some kid would laugh. Some kid would say, "Cold, man. That was really cold."
I had to do it, kid. It was a war. It's the whole point, you stupid, smug, smirking little jerk! Don't you get it?
It was the whole point. We hurt the innocent in order to stop the evil. Innocent Hork-Bajir. Innocent Taxxons. Innocent human-Controllers. How else to stop the Yeerks? How else to win?
No choice, you punk. We did what we had to do.
"Cold, man. The Marco dude? He was just cold. — Katherine Applegate

Probably the most cold-hearted thing I ever did. There was this spider in my shower - and I'm usually very kind to all of the creatures of the world - and you feel very vulnerable when you're naked, and I didn't really want to be near this spider he was kinda big and gnarly looking. The only thing that I could reach in the shower was this hairspray. So I hairspray-ed this spider to death, which was awful. I felt like such a jerk. It was really, really harsh. — Patrick Stump

Kiefer Sutherland is a crazy jerk on '24,' but you love him because he gets the job done. And I think that that goes for a lot of action stars, I mean Steven Segal is a jerk, but you want to watch him because, eventually, he's a jerk who can beat up bad people. — Paul Scheer

When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job. — Catherine Anderson

I know that not every family is a clean-cut nuclear Mom and Dad at home situation - but I think every father needs to do whatever he can to be present in the lives of his kids. If you are in a situation where you have not been - fight for it. Don't give up till you get it. Don't be a jerk about it - don't "fight" mom - but "fight" whatever things tell you to just give up. Send cards, make phone calls, pay your support, and do whatever you can to be present in the lives of your children. — Josh Hatcher

On Dealing with Bullies "You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it." On — Justin Halpern

Creep" I said, cutting to the heart of the matter. - Stephanie
"Gosh, I wonder who this could be."
- Morelli
"You lied to me. I knew it too. I knew right from the beginning, you jerk."
Silence stretched taut between us, and I realized my accusation covered a lot of territory, so I narrowed the field.
"I want to knew about this big secret case you're working on, and I want to know how it ties in to Kenny Mancuso and Moogey Bues." - Stephanie
"Oh" Morelli said. "That lie " - Morelli
"Well?" - Stephanie
"I cant tell you anything about that lie" - Morelli
-Two For The Dough — Janet Evanovich

Oh my Queen Mab, I thought you were dead! Or at least knocked up! And I thought I'd be dead, because no one but Jerk-Face over there knew about me, and I thought I would starve. Starve to death!" "Tink," Ren warned, voice low. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Alan ... " Shelby kept her voice mild and patient as excitement ripped through her. "I've already told you, nothing's going to get started between us.Don't take it personally," she added with a half smile. "You're very attractive.I'm just not interested."
"No?" With his free hand, he circled her wrist. "Your pulse is racing."
Her annoyance was quick, mirrored in the sudden flare in her eyes, the sudden jerk of her chin. "I'm always happy to boost an ego," she said evenly. "Now,I'll get your shirt."
"Boost it a little higher," he suggested and drew her closer. — Nora Roberts

Don't accept less than what it is that you know that you want. Don't allow someone to be a jerk. Don't allow someone to disrespect you. Listen to the bigger voice in your head telling you that you deserve the best, whatever that is whatever that is you decide you like for yourself. It may differ from what I like or what is ideal for me. But the bottom line is to never accept less than what you know you deserve. — Kimora Lee Simmons

A small town called Phoenixville in Pennsylvania is invaded by aliens. Or maybe alien singular, it's hard to tell. Because this hostile visitor is an amorphous mass of goo that must be jelly 'cos jam don't shake like that. It doesn't do too much leaping (unless you count the jerk-edit special effects), but it's very good at sliding across the floor, killing puny humans by absorbing them. Steve McQueen is Steve is the boy who leads a group of teens who foil its evil plan to turn Earth into a giant trifle. — Garry Mulholland

I want someone who builds people up, not tears them down. I need someone who makes me laugh and isn't afraid to rib me when I'm being a royal jerk.' She smiled a little. 'You're that girl. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it. — Jen Calonita

Suddenly, they saw its back end drop down, as into a rut, and the gee-pole, with Hal clinging to it, jerk into the air. Mercedes's scream came to their ears. They saw Charles turn and make one step to run back, and then a whole section of ice give way and dogs and humans disappear. A yawning hole was all that was to be seen. The bottom had dropped out of the trail. John Thornton and Buck looked at each other. "You poor devil," said John Thornton, and Buck licked his hand. — Jack London

Morgan glanced over his shoulder to where Dougie walked behind him. "Dougie, you're lookin' a bit worn. Are you needin' to stop and, um, rest a bit?"
Dougie looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Rest? Are you daft?"
Morgan glared at him and gave a jerk of his head toward Amalie, who struggled on determinedly before him.
Dougie winked. "Och, aye, I am a bit weary."
In no time, word had gotten up and down the line that Amalie needed to rest but was being too stubborn to admit it. And suddenly Morgan was besieged with whispered pleas to stop, his men whining of sore feet, headaches, and aching backs.
Then Connor appeared at his side, looking fashed.
"What in God's name has come over the men? They're complainin' like old wom - — Pamela Clare

He pressed another kiss to her lips as he took her hand into his. "I'm sorry for being a jerk last night and almost making the biggest mistake of my life. I was afraid of hurting you. I know what I am and I also know you deserve a guy that can spoil you rotten and take you to all the nice places that you deserve. I-"
"Jason, I don't care about those things," she said softly.
He shook his head stubbornly. "It doesn't mean that you don't deserve them, but if you give me a chance to make up for my past stupidity, and I'm not just talking about with you, I promise that I will do my best to make you happy."
"Jason-"
"I want to try this. You and me, I mean. I know I'll most likely fuck up along the way and you'll want to ring my neck, but I want to try. I'll do my best not to hurt you. — R.L. Mathewson

He caressed my arm and then frowned as he leaned down and examined the marks Jac's nails had made in my skin, along with the blood I still hadn't washed off. "What is this?" His cold voice left me filled with dread. I tried to jerk away. "Nothing." "Maya," he growled. "Who the hell dared to lay a hand on you?" His voice was furious as his eyes flashed with rage. "Tell me. Now. — Rachel Van Dyken

There's nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that. — Reza Aslan

Don't be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people. — Judd Apatow

Would you like to come in?" I said. My hands were sweaty. Inside my chest an ocean heaved and crashed and heaved again.
"I would," he said. I saw his Adam's apple jerk as he swallowed. "Thank you."
I was distracted by that thank you. We had moved past the language of formality long ago. It was strange to relearn it with each other. — Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

Dearest Penelope,
I am a giant jerk. I don't mean to imply that I am abnormally sized human who happens to also be a jerk, but, instead, that I am a normal-sized human who happens to sometimes be an extra-large jerk. When you buy me an ugly holiday sweater next Christmas, it needn't be an extra-large man's sweater, but it should probably feature some much-despised ... figure that will serve to indicate to the world the immense degree of my jerkiness. What I'm really saying is ... I've thought more about it, and I'd like to be of help to you in your quest so that come Christmas you can just find me a basic ugly holiday sweater that has no other object but to be a basic ugly holiday sweater, and I can wear it the next time we beat God and the devil alike at trash can bowling.
Yours,
Flynt — Kate Ellison

What about you?" I ask her. "What do you think I should read next?" She takes my hand and leads me to the children's section. She looks around for a second, then heads over to a display at the front. I see a certain green book sitting there and panic. "No! Not that one!" I say. But she isn't reaching for the green book. She's reaching for Harold and the Purple Crayon. "What could you possibly have against Harold and the Purple Crayon?" she asks. "I'm sorry. I thought you were heading for The Giving Tree." Rhiannon looks at me like I'm an insane duck. "I absolutely HATE The Giving Tree." I am so relieved. "Thank goodness. That would've been the end of us, had that been your favorite book." "Here - take my arms! Take my legs!" "Take my head! Take my shoulders!" "Because that's what love's about!" "That kid is, like, the jerk of the century," I say, relieved that Rhiannon will know what I mean. "The biggest jerk in the history of all literature, — David Levithan

[Trip] "You're a pain in the ass. A wordy pain in the ass."
"Here are two more words for you. Interfering jerk."
"Stubborn idiot."
"Government patsy."
"Bookworm," Trip shot back, and then he had her up against her car, his mouth on hers, his hands on her body, taking as much of her as he could get. She came right back at him, curling her hands into his shirt, trying to drag him closer, which was impossible since the only thing between them was a couple of thin layers of clothing and enough heat to cause spontaneous combustion. — Penny McCall