You Gotta Be Kidding Me Quotes & Sayings

My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows." — Si Robertson

You've gotta respect everyone's beliefs." No, you don't. That's what gets us in trouble. Look, you have to acknowledge everyone's beliefs, and then you have to reserve the right to go: "That is fucking stupid. Are you kidding me?" I acknowledge that you believe that, that's great, but I'm not going to respect it. I have an uncle that believes he saw Sasquatch. We do not believe him, nor do we respect him! — Patton Oswalt

Shit. You've gotta be kidding! Didn't you jump your first day here?"
"Second"
Luke threw his arms up. "That makes so much more sense. So, you know the guy two days and what? He says jump and you say how high?"
"Actually, it'd be how far." I motioned my arm to show him. "You have to jump out."
"You're not helping!" He growled. — H.R. Willaston

There's a company that wants to put hair on me! I don't know if it's plugs, I'm sure it is. I laughed and said, 'You gotta be kidding.' — Terry Bradshaw

OCEANA: Are we here to take a tour of the museum? Is this your surprise?
ORPHEUS: This is my house.
OCEANA: (gasps) You gotta be kidding me.
ORPHEUS: (now glaring at her) No I'm not. — Scarlett Brukett

Then at the top of the hill, the road forks.
Which just figures.
"You gotta be kidding." I say.
One part of the road goes left, the other goes right.
(Well, it's a "Fork" ain't it?) — Patrick Ness

Mount You-Gotta-Be-Kidding-Me. — Rick Riordan

Well, good night," he said cheerfully. "Thanks for dinner."
"Oh. Right." I took a half step back toward the house. "You're welcome."
"Ella."
"Yeah?"
"You've gotta be kidding."
PECo hadn't some yet, so it was pretty dark where we were standing. I don't know how his hand found mine so fast, but one second I was thinking about how much I didn't want to say good night, and the next I was up against his chest, standing on my toes with my feet between his.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his breath chocolaty and warm against my forehead.
"Yeah," I answered, my own breath coming in quick little jumps. "Yeah."
"Good.I have something I have to tell you."
I waited.
"I hate that Klimt painting," he said. "I really hate it."
Then he was folding me into his coat and his face was right above mine, and there was only one kiss that mattered. — Melissa Jensen

If you ever get married again, don't tell your husband anything. Do you hear me?'

'Why?' said Mary Jane.

'Because I say so, that's why,' said Eloise. 'They wanna think you spent your whole life vomiting every time a boy came near you. I'm not kidding, either. Oh, you can tell them stuff. But never honestly. I mean never honestly. If you tell 'em you once knew a handsome boy, you gotta say in the same breath he was too handsome. And if you tell 'em you knew a witty boy, you gotta tell 'em he was kind of a smart aleck, though, or a wise guy. If you don't, they hit you over the head with the poor boy every time they get a chance.' Eloise paused to drink from her glass and to think. 'Oh,' she said, 'they'll listen very maturely and all that. They'll even look intelligent as hell. But don't let it fool you. Believe me. You'll go through hell if you ever give 'em any credit for intelligence. Take my word. — J.D. Salinger

You go back," Jack said. "And you catch the scum who did you." "Back?" I said. "Back to ... " "Earth, yeah," Jack said. "Chicago." He closed the folder and dropped it into his out-box. "You gotta find out who killed you." I arched an eyebrow at him. "You're kidding. — Jim Butcher

Well, it's a little harder in New York. It's not as forgiving to a film crew. You hold up a bunch of New Yorkers who can't cross the street, they're not going to take it well. Southern California? They'll wait. It's cool man. In New York, they're like, 'Are you kidding me? I gotta get to work.' — Matthew Rhys

Lunch? You gotta be kidding. Lunch is for wimps. — Michael Douglas

God always answers prayers. Sometimes it's "yes." Sometimes the answer is "no." Sometimes it's "you gotta be kidding. — Jimmy Carter