You Got To Be Kidding Quotes & Sayings

There! There it is again! What language is that?"
From the bed, Roarke shifted. "I believe it's known as rooster."
With the weapon at her side, she stared at him, slack-jawed. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Not a bit. It's morning, more or less, and that's a cock signaling the dawn."
"A cock?"
"I'd say. I don't think Sindead and her man want you to stun their rooster, but I have to say, Lieutenant, you make a fascinating picture."
She heaved out a breath, set her weapon down. "Jesus Christ, we may as well be on another planet." She slid back into bed. "And if your cock gets any ideas about signaling the day, remember I've got a weapon. — J.D. Robb

I was so worried that you wouldn't want to know me once you found out." I signed, relief flooding through me.
"Are you kidding me?" Xavier reached out and curled a lock of my hair around his finger. "Surely I've got to be the luckiest guy in the world."
"How do you figure that?"
"Isn't it obvious? I've got my own little piece of Heaven right here. — Alexandra Adornetto

I look over at Andie. "Please don't tell me she's going to touch chicken poop."
Andie's face is totally impassive. "Nope."
"Phew. That's a relief." ...
"She is going to touch their eggs, though."
... "Then she is going to touch their poop."
She laughs, sounding confused. "How so?" She takes a sip of her drink as she waits to be educated by me.
I cringe. "Ew, Andie. Because the eggs come from their butts, of course."
Andie laughs so hard she spits coffee out at me ... "You've got to be kidding me." She wipes tears away. "Oh, man, Candice, I sure have missed you."
I frown at her obvious ignorance of all things chicken. "I missed you too. But why are you laughing over simple scientific facts? Google is your friend, you know, Andie. You really shouldn't neglect your Googling. — Elle Casey

This is your grave."
"Grave? You've got to be kidding. I'm still alive."
"Burying dead people isn't as much fun," Saeki said, feeling this was extremely obvious. — Otsuichi

Everything happens for a reason," she finally said.
"What?" Chase scoffed as his eyes flashed back to hers. "Oh you've got to be kidding me."
"Why?"
"Because it's total horseshit," he laughed. "That's just some crap people say when something bad happens and they have no way to explain it. It's a pathetic way to try and make somebody feel better. And if anything, it has the reverse effect."
Andie shrugged. "I disagree."
"Anytime anyone has ever said that to me, it just made me want to punch them in the face."
"That's because you're an asshole," she said matter-of factly. — Priscilla Glenn

I'm not some piece of ass that you can just use for the night," Jake said, surprised at his own outrage. "You've got to be kidding. — Katie Rose

The counselor says that we are "at the beginning of a long, uphill journey." She says, "Relapse is a part of recovery."

I think, You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I say, "Do I look like someone who's ready for a long, uphill journey?" Lucy snickers for a second, and I love her. I lover her much more than I want to.

But I am worn down and out. The thought of another trip crushes me. I tell Lucy, You are my family. But I'm not coming with you. — Ariel Levy

And having a strong family, you know we've lost some members of our family and had some setbacks, but I think a good family and kids all those things I thought at one time ... you got to be kidding me ... Those things are so important they enable you to go on. — Brett Favre

He regarded us with dark, evaluating eyes. "This can't be good."
"I'll go first," Dabria began, sucking in a rattling breath.
"Not even close," I shot back. I faced Patch directly, cutting Dabria out of the conversation. "She kissed you! And Dante, who's been tailing you, by the way, caught it on camera. Imagine my surprise when that's what I got an eyeful of earlier tonight. Did you even think to tell me?"
"I told her I kissed you, and that you pushed me away," Dabria protested shrilly.
"What are you still doing here?" I exploded at Dabria. "This is between me and Patch. Leave already!"
"What are you doing here?" Patch echoed to Dabria, his tone sharpening.
"I - broke in," she sputtered. "I was scared. I couldn't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Hanoth and the other Nephilim."
"You have got to be kidding me," I said. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Suppose something would happen to the president, who would be in charge? The Vice President. Joe Biden? You have got to be kidding today when you say the Taliban's not our enemy. — Douglas Wilder

Lock glanced at the woman in his arms. She was no longer sobbing, but was now smiling and giving her best Queen Elizabeth wave to her nonexistent "people."
"I," she somberly intoned, not to Lock but her invisible "people," "as your ruler and sovereign, do thank you for this lovely throne."
She motioned to the chair. "You may now place me in my throne."
"You have got to be kidding me, Jessica."
"Place me! — Shelly Laurenston

As for Ms. Banks's claim that she didn't even notice that the gang rapists were Mexican and their victim white, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. The media always notice race. It is the first thing they look for in any crime - hoping against hope to have finally found Tom Wolfe's "great white defendant." They'll even turn a Hispanic perpetrator white, as the New York Times did with George Zimmerman. After the police shooting in Ferguson, did anyone need to ask: Hey, does anyone know the race of the cop or the race of the guy he shot? — Ann Coulter

He'd already put a shirt on each leg and had stacked every shoe I owned into a precarious pyramid. The room looked like a small, overly curious tornado had torn it apart.
"You have got to be kidding me," I said. "Maybe I should give you to Shamus. — Devon Monk

Moments later, Hawfield walked in. He wasn't alone.
"You've got to be kidding!" Hi blurted.
Carmine Corcoran's scowl was as deep as ever. He'd lost a few pounds, but was still a large man, with muttonchop sideburns and a bristly black mustache. His hair was graying at the temples, making him appear more distinguished than his forty-five years merited.
Ruth popped the back of her son's head. "Mind your manners, Hiram."
"Why does everyone do the?" Hi muttered. "And child abuse. In front of the police, I might add. — Kathy Reichs

Tell me you're kidding."

He grinned. "I'm not. It's the truth."

"Shit."

"Hey, you got any money?"

I shook my head. How did the guy on a soldier's paycheck become the one with the money? I dug around in my pocket, finding three dollars for him, then watched him fight with the vending machine over how flat the bills needed to be. — Veronica Rossi

On corsets: I said, You have got to be kidding. I am an ape and yet I am still expected to squeeze myself into one of those damn things. — Helena Bonham Carter

A second later, there was a knock on my door and a booming voice. 'Alexandria?'
Seth stilled above me, panting. 'You have got to be freaking kidding me.'
Leon knocked again. [ ... ] 'Lucian is requesting your presence immediately.' Another gap of silence followed. 'He is also requesting to see you, Seth.'
Seth frowned as the gleam in his eyes faded. 'How in the world does he know I'm in here?'
'Leon ... just knows.' I pushed at him weakly. 'Get off.'
'I was trying to. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I've been assigned to bodyguard you."
You've got to be kidding me.
Derek snorted.
Ascanio pretended not to hear it. "The Beast Lord spoke to me this morning. I'm responsible for your well-being, and if you get injured, I'll answer to him personally."
Oh, that bastard. Found the kid an impossible job, did he?
Derek laughed quietly.
Ascanio finally deemed it necessary to acknowledge Derek's existence. "Is something funny?"
"I don't even know you, and I feel sorry for you. — Ilona Andrews

You've got to be kidding me." I lean back to search his face. "You're going to worry about conventions when we're past the end of the world? — Stephenie Meyer

I need my warriors whole. You made each other bleed." I ignored Ren's bewildered expression. "Now undo the damage."
"You've got to be kidding me." Shay grimaced.
"I can't begin to tell you how much I'm not kidding." I stepped back, folding my arms over my chest. "Until I choose a mate, I'm the only alpha here; I've made it clear that I'm not making a choice right now. You two answer to me. Prove your loyalty. Heal each other. — Andrea Cremer

I do not want to date you."
He groaned. "Liv. You've got to be kidding me. I picked up my whole life, drove halfway across the country, and you've changed your mind? It's only been fifteen days since you told me you still love me!"
"Shut up, will you? Will you please just shut up and kiss me again, you big idiot?" With both hands on his face, she molded her lips to his as her heart did a happy dance in her chest. Between kisses, she said, "I want to live with you and marry you and have a family with you and share your life
all the things you said you wanted from me before I ruined it. So no, I will not date you. — Marie Force

Ornette Coleman wasn't sure whether he was going to continue with Charlie Haden-Charlie had some personal problems. I said "You've got to be kidding! There's no one on the globe who will be able to accompany you" and no one ever did. [Scott LaFaro] was playing atonally and certainly Ornette was not an atonal player. Jimmy Garrison was a tonal player. He wasn't even polytonal or atonal. — Paul Bley

Bianca, camp is cool! It's got a pegasus stable and a sword-fighting arena and ... I mean, what do you get by joining the Hunters?"
To begin with," Zoe said, "immortality."
I stared at her, then at Artemis. "She's kidding, right?"
Zoe rarely kids about anything," Artemis said. "My Hunters follow me on my adventures. They are my maidservants, my companions, my sisters-in-arms. Once they swear loyalty to me, they are indeed immortal ... unless they fall in battle, which is unlikely. Or break their oath."
What oath?" I said.
To foreswear romantic love forever," Artemis said.
To never grow up, never get married. To be a maiden eternally."
Like you?"
The goddess nodded.
I tried to imagine what she was saying. Being immortal. Hanging out with only middle-school girls forever. I couldn't get my mind around it. — Rick Riordan

President Obama has decided to have the United Nations review the law of Arizona. You have got to be kidding! We're now going to have countries like Cuba, Libya and Uganda sitting in judgment on Arizona's laws? Enough is enough! — Russell Pearce

FUCK!" Annie Montrose said. "You have got to be fucking kidding me! — Andy Weir

Come with me if you want to live."
Neva stared at the enormous hand the stranger extended her. Her gaze followed the black leather-clad arm up to the massive shoulders, the strong jaw, and the thick lock of wavy blonde hair hanging over his dark glasses. "You have so got to be kidding me," she said.
He shrugged. "I always wanted to say that line. Except I'm not kidding. — Dani Harper

Marked." My face was on fire, my limbs shaking. "All of you. I will take all of you out with my own bare hands!"
There was laughter building in Bram's voice as he responded. "As cute as I'm sure that would be, your attempt ... if we thought the people who might try to trace that chip could make you absolutely, one hundred percent safe, I would carry you to them and hand you over myself."
I gingerly rested my fingertips against my forehead, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down.
"There are some very bad men out to get you, Miss Dearly."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"By the way, you have quite the vocabulary, for a princess." He still sounded amused.
This statement was random enough to get my attention. "Princess?" I asked, confused.
"You know, a princess. A New Victorian girl."
My lips parted to fire off another question before it clicked. "You're a Punk."
"Born and bred."
"Fantastic. — Lia Habel

You've got to be kidding. No self-respecting demon would be caught undead here. Heck, we're so podunk we don't even have a Burger Doodle."
"Demons find this Burger Doodle attractive?"
"Nah, if I had to guess, I'd say they're more into soul food." She clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh, God, I made a pun. Slap me. — Lexi George

I think I sort of blossomed, so to speak, around 17. I started to get hips and put on weight, which I was very happy about. And that's when I met this agent, who told me I had to lose 10 pounds. I said, 'You've got to be kidding me. I finally got it on - I'm not losing it!' — Tricia Helfer

Doesn't he look just like a ring wraith?" she said thoughtfully.
"Are you kidding?" replied Cathy, "I most certainly won't be carol singing at your door this Christmas if you've got one of those ugly things hanging on it!"
"No, from Lord of the Rings," said Sue impatiently.
"I'm sorry," snorted Cathy, "I don't watch pornographic material."
"Have you never read a book?!" Sue snapped. "It's about a small man who travels through dangerous lands to drop a ring into a volcano, it's a classic."
"Does sound like a small man," she replied, "can't even face his marriage problems full on. — Paul Baxter

You mean I'm a frigging Werewolf! You have got to be kidding me, apart from a little, ok a lot of PMS, I don't howl at the moon!' This was too much, I'd been poisoned, and now I find I might go hairy and eat people once a month!
'No. child. You are descended from the first brave women who said 'no', who raised their children without the curse of the Lycanthrope. Your bloodlines enable you to tolerate the line and draw on its power. Now listen to the rest of the tale while I make you some more tea'. — E.M. Kernow

You've got to be fucking kidding me!" The words are out of my mouth before I can put my brain into gear.

He must have felt the pain from five pairs of eyes burning straight into the side of his head. Red hot, radioactive beams buzzing onto his temple as he quickly turns his attention to the group of people staring at him. Then his eyes fall on me. Yet again, I melt on the spot at the chocolate pools looking at me. — A.J. Walters

I walked back into the studio pretending to be someone who was amazing at reading her own story. I finished an entire paragraph without interruption. Then I looked up and the producer stared at me and said, "I don't know what you just did, but keep doing it." And I said, "I just did a lot of cocaine," and she looked a bit aghast and so I said, "No, I'm just kidding. I just got some really good advice from a friend. — Jenny Lawson

Oh, you've got to be kidding me. It's frat-cute Greg. I continue to have the literal worst taste in men. — Kelly Thompson

He looks again towards the door, expecting Mum to walk in and remind him of something he's forgotten. He smiles awkwardly.
'Is that it, Dad? I've got to go.'
'Your Mum said I should mention ... um ... satisfaction.'
'What!'
'She said young men should know things, should be told things so that the girl won't be ... ' his eyes plead for understanding, ' ... disappointed.'
[ ... ] 'No worries, Dad. My biology teacher said I was a natural.'
Dad looks confused.
'I'm kidding, Dad.'
[ ... ] Poor bloke, having to do the dirty work while Mum's off with her gang.
'Dad? What did Grandpa tell you about sex?'
'He said if I got a girl pregnant, he'd kill me. — Steven Herrick

If someone was to tell you that you were a witch, I think that it would be somewhat like, "You've got to be kidding me! I'm out of here! You're crazy!" — Britt Robertson

This next part might cheer you up. So my mom told me she was gonna drive me to my appointment at the sperm bank, and she handed me one of my dad's Playboys
I had something way dirtier stashed in my closet, by the way
and she asked me, all serious, if I knew what do do."
"You've got to be kidding."
"No, I'm not." He started laughing. "I was fifteen, Anna. I was and expert at it, and I did not want to talk about jacking off with my mom. — Tracey Garvis-Graves

Even if your husband is full of himself, he should be allowed to dream. Let him. Don't burst his bubble. Why would any man want to come home to a wife who rolled her eyes and said, "Right!," every time he had an idea or made a resolution? Maybe your husband wants to run for local political office. You know he doesn't have a prayer. He's running anyway. You want to say, "You've got to be kidding!" But in this case he doesn't want to hear the truth. He wants your support. So give it to him. Call all your friends and tell them to vote for him, stand by his side when he gives speeches, buy buttons and balloons and throw him a campaign party. It doesn't matter if he wins or loses, what matters is that you believe in him. — Ellen Fein

Ah, there you are, Bard," came a familiar voice, and she turned to see Alucard striding over.
"Saints, is that a dress you're in? The crew will never believe it."
"You've got to be kidding me," growled Kell. — V.E Schwab

There were place cards at the head table, which was one long, rectangular thing that would have everyone facing the reception room. I sat at the one marked Chritine Russell. Randy say to my left, with Denise to his right. To my right read Chris Pin. Who ... ?
"You've got to be kidding me," I said aloud. Why didn't I just shoot myself and get it over with?
"Justina, we meet again." Bones appeared and took his seat next to me as I vaulted out of my chair. "Wouldn't want to be rude, but I believe your table is over there. — Jeaniene Frost

You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?"
"I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate but ignored childhood letters. — Lia Habel

You've got to be kidding me. You're propositioning me in a church?"

"Now where else are you going to be civil to me? — Jae T. Jaggart

You've got to be kidding me. I thought you were the most powerful of beings. Even the gods fear you. (Stryker) We all have predators. The entire universe exists in a system of checks and balances. I just met my zero balance. (War) Are you honestly telling me that the most powerful creature on this planet is a pathetic Cajun guttersnipe who offed himself because one of my men killed his mommy? (Stryker) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard,
then pulled his hand back with a snap.
"Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security ... Turn around, please."
"What?"
"Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!"
"You have GOT to be kidding."
"Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn. — Rachel Caine

I'm not moping," I whisper back. "Of course you're not. A girl like you, spending time with a warrior demigod like me. What's to mope about? Leaving a wheelchair behind couldn't possibly show up on the radar compared to that."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"I never kid about my warrior demigod status. — Susan Ee

God always answers prayer, sometimes with a yes, sometimes with a no and sometimes with a 'You've got to be kidding!' — Jimmy Carter