Yahtzee Croshaw Jam Quotes & Sayings

This was how I would die. Strangled by an attractive, seminaked woman inside a fridge with a giant tarantula in the middle of a sea of carnivorous jam. As I blacked out, all I could think of was a fortune teller I'd spoken to a few years ago, and how full of shit she'd turned out to be. — Yahtzee Croshaw

I woke up one morning to find that the entire city had been covered in a three-foot layer of man-eating jam. — Yahtzee Croshaw

The jam had filled the courtyard and foyer and pushed the water out of the swimming pool. Where it touched the walls, little tendrils snaked their way upwards like searching fingers. There was an overpowering stench of strawberries. — Yahtzee Croshaw