Witty Self Deprecating Quotes & Sayings

I tapped my cup to his, grateful to have found Shaun, because for a minute there, I'd thought I was going to have to save myself. Instead, I'd wandered into the protective care of a sexy older man. — Becca Fitzpatrick

It is of interest of times to change, Mr. Helecki. And it is the business of gentlemen to change with them. — Amor Towles

'Star Wars,' 'Doctor Who,' 'Forgotten Realms,' even 'Firefly' and 'The X-Files' have shared world novels and other media. I can't help but notice these settings have large shelf space in bookstores, so their publishers and authors are getting something right. — David Conyers

Everyone knows you are supposed to read to young children. Well, that's what I hear when I have my kids watch Sesame Street so I can waste time on the Internet. "Read to your children." Interestingly enough, when you hear "Read to your children" on Sesame Street, they never say, "Did you hear me? Do not watch Sesame Street! Turn off the TV and read that kid a book! — Jim Gaffigan

Shane often grounds and fetters me, in more ways than one, but there are moments when he gives me wings and allows me to soar in his air stream. Such moments are exhilarating and though rare are worth waiting for. — Gillibran Brown

Suicide bombers caused us more than 50 percent of our casualties. The fence works. There is a decline in the number of those terrorist attacks against Israelis. — Silvan Shalom

In this world of numbness and information overload, the ability to feel, my boy, is a rare gift indeed. — Patrick Ness

If we are deeply moved by the sight of his love for us, it detaches our hearts from other would-be saviors. — Timothy Keller

Her engagement? That is a long story." He laughed, — Alexander McCall Smith

If you would not be known to do anything, never do it. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know your sister has been reading The Female Eunuch? And some old shite called The Women's Bedroom or something. She says your mother is a classic example of oppressed womanhood, and that the fact your mother disagrees shows how oppressed she is. She's trying to tell her I should be doing the cooking and cleaning and making out I'm some fecking caveman. But if I dare to say anything back she keeps telling me to "check my privilege". Check my privilege! I told her I'd be happy to check it if I knew where the hell your mother had put it. — Jojo Moyes

Well I love preppy style; I like J. Crew for guys. — Olivia Culpo

Michael Jackson has a very good heart. He was crying when he was giving me the award, 'cause his mind went back over the early days. — James Brown

A reader does not suddenly comprehend what is being read or studied, in a snap, miraculously. Comprehension needs to be worked forged, by those who read and study; as subjects of the action, they must seek to employ appropriate instruments in order to carry out the task. For this very reason, reading and studying form a challenging task, one requiring patience and perseverance. — Paulo Freire