Witty Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it. — K. Syrah

I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on! — Ljupka Cvetanova

It wasn't freedom she wanted. It was belief in something - a prize big enough to run for and to fight for and to keep on reaching toward no matter what. — Susan Dennard

We have a country that is $5 a gallon gas, $4 a gallon gas, we got unbearable unemployment and a federal government that is out of control. We have to take back this country and we've got to get off the sidelines and take it to President Obama. — Tim Pawlenty

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat."
I grinned. "I've noticed."
Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term."
"Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. — Cate Tiernan

A deeper thought on the surface is exactly the paradox we need. — Nema Al-Araby

Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn? — Jonas Jonasson

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain.
That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain.
I shrugged. I'm glad you guys are so close. — Holly Hood

If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? — Elbert Hubbard

Health is the requisite after morality — Thomas Jefferson

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

The law, in its majestic impartiality, forbids the rich and poor alike to sleep under the bridges of Paris. — Anatole France

Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems ... "
"Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue. — Robin Hobb

It is horrible, yet fascinating, this struggle between a set purpose and an utterly exhausted frame. — Arthur Conan Doyle

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. — Gasmaskman

The privileged individuals and families who comprise the global elite will happily bankrupt their own countrymen, decimate their own community and evict their neighbors from houses in their desperate bid to increase their wealth. — James Morcan

What am I going to do?" asked Ce'Nedra.
"First you ought to go wash your face," Polgara told her. "Some girls can cry without making themselves ugly, but you don't have the right coloring for it. You're an absolute fright. I'd advise you never to cry in public if you can help it. — David Eddings

Luckily we don't sleep standing. Who knows where the dream will take us! — Ljupka Cvetanova

If time is money and you wasted my time, then give me back my money! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Actual freedom has not increased in proportion to man's awareness of it. — Albert Camus

I know that you're worried about me, but crushing my lungs isn't going to help anyone. — Sara Massa

Television bosses should stop insulting the public's intelligence by assuming we are all idiots. — Jeremy Paxman

I watched you undress. Shame on you! — Ljupka Cvetanova

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload. — Courtney Kirchoff

bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes — Various

I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.
"I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good."
Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make."
"Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation. — Derek Landy

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. — Oliver Goldsmith

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors. — Ljupka Cvetanova