Wisdom Humor Quotes & Sayings

Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthier — Benny Bellamacina

Beware of anyone who says, "I love you" without hesitation; they've had a lot of practice saying it. — Benjamin DeHaven

Love and hate when stretched to their extremes blind reasoning. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I regard (parenting) as the hardest, most complicated, anxiety-ridden, sweat-and-blood-producing job in the world. Succeeding requires the ultimate in patience, common sense, commitment, humor, tact, love, wisdom, awareness, and knowledge. At the same time, it holds the possibility for the most rewarding, joyous experience of a lifetime, namely, that of being successful guides to a new and unique human being. — Virginia Satir

You can change your mind, don't let your mind change you — Benny Bellamacina

You could have learned from a book, they are for all intents and purposes quite safe. What one does with the information gathered however is a different matter altogether. — S. Vagus

Sometimes, our pride compels us to engage in costly wars when a true commitment to a compromising peace would have been the best course to pursue. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

...True classical dropouts in society are those who avoid difficult challenges and cling to the first opportunity that comes their way. They never test their talents. These latent talents will only help to produce the next cycle of dropouts... — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

When somebody you love dies, a phase of life's innocence dies with that person, and a part of you dies as well. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. — Terry Pratchett

Want wisdom? Laugh at yourself. — Maggie Bishop

She's SINGLE doesnt really mean she's AVAILABLE.
She's IN A RELATIONSHIP doesnt really mean she's NOT INTERESTED.
She's ENGAGED doesnt really mean IT'S OVER.
IT'S JUST COMPLICATED untill she's MARRIED! — Emmanuel Aghado

The statement 'There is nothing more American than an Indian' happens to be a multidimensional paradox. Try and not say too many of those. That might open your mind to ideas that could cause sanity point loss. — Charles Slagle

True heroes and ideas never fall in the final sense of the word. They can only encounter temporary setbacks in their difficult journey to progress and success, — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Hold onto your creativity, that idealism that is rooted in some degree of innocence and a firm belief in something finer than the things we already have. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I think I've discovered the secret of life
you just hang around until you get used to it. — Charles M. Schulz

We still need to give our best to life even if we do not understand the purpose of our existence on earth. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

We, humans, have come up with so many superficialities that are completely unnecessary for our existence and happiness on earth. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work. — Benny Bellamacina

Go naked. Trust me, if you don't have a thing to wear, that's the obvious choice. — Dave Freer

He made me feel an idiot, even when I knew he was a bigger one than I. — Tracy Chevalier

And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health. — Mike Birbiglia

Achieve everything and fail at the rest — Benny Bellamacina

In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel's it's impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human ... we really don't want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down ... so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to "stay" and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What's for lunch? Stay! I can't stand this another minute! Stay!" — Pema Chodron

The quickest way to the top, is getting off your bottom — Benny Bellamacina

It is the charge of us who survive to see another dawn each day that we honor the memory of the kind and brave souls who have pioneered and lived and loved before us. They have taught us how to interpret a melody, or how to play a rhythm, or how to laugh at one of life's many absurdities. Life lessons. Good deeds. Mistakes. The sum of a man's or a woman's life can take years to absorb and understand, but we must always appreciate the sacrifice, wisdom, love, and humor that our fallen comrades have left to us. — Peter Erskine

Moderation is the key to old age and the doorway to boredom — Benny Bellamacina

I'm trying to be diplomatic. The wisdom of my ass is well-known. If I didn't lip off to them, after shooting my mouth off to faerie queens and Vampire Courts
plural, Courts
demigods and demon lords, they might get their feelings hurt. — Jim Butcher

The Catholic wisdom of the people ... provides reasons for joy and humor even in the midst of a very hard life. — The Catholic Church

Sometimes it's better to fail with pride, than to succeed at a price — Benny Bellamacina

That's not a bad word ... hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't. — Judy Blume

If you have an old habit of competing and comparing yourself with others, then you are still living your life like a sperm. GROW UP!! — Saurabh Sharma

Don't live in the virtual world, get out there and buy yourself a laptop — Benny Bellamacina

Don't go looking for boys in the dark
They will say pretty things then
leave you with scars.
Do go looking for boys in the park
For that is where the true gentlemen are. — Anna Godbersen

When you don't fit in anymore, eat less. — Benny Bellamacina

They who suspect a Mephistophiles, or sneering, satirical devil, under all, have not learned the secret of true humor, which sympathizes with gods themselves, in view of their grotesque, half-finished creatures. — Henry David Thoreau

Never give up the freeness of your soul. Live your duty to mankind, nurture creatures of this world as a true mother of the earth, but never shut your imagination off from those desires that distinguish you from the ordinary. Never allow yourself to be sapped of that extraordinary energy that is the necessary ingredient for creating something new and progressive. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

...Bad leaders are known to destroy one, more or even all of the foundations of their people's way of life... — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Aphorism, n. Predigested wisdom. — Ambrose Bierce

He learned...never to show his anger or hatred against a stronger adversary, for fear of being crushed. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I've often wondered why Nature, widely publicized being infinite in its wisdom, should have made the grave mistake of creating redheads, always so impulsive and quick on the trigger. — P.G. Wodehouse

A man can't talk of true happiness if he has never known true love - the trusting, selfless and unconditional love that I took for granted. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt. — George Santayana

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

My dick's wisdom impeded my ability to have meaningless intercourse. — John Duover

...The world gets blessed every now and then with unique souls who though burdened by their invisible crosses, still have the extraordinary strength to forge ahead in life and give others a helping hand at the same time. Despite their tribulations, most of us think they are fine. Even when the weight of their crosses become unbearable, even when they proceed in a breathless manner, we still have a hard time understanding that they are drowning. In fact, we even condemn them for failing to sacrifice more... — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

A man who would letterspace lower case would steal sheep, Frederic Goudy liked to say. If this wisdom needs updating, it is chiefly to add that a woman who would letterspace lower case would steal sheep as well . — Robert Bringhurst

The only thing set in stone are dumb quotes and names of dead people. Everything else is subject to change. — Kimberly Spencer

What you see is what you see — Frank Stella

He's acting as foolish as a kitten ... but then, everyone's entitled to a little foolishness once in a while. — Christopher Paolini

Just think of them as your little pets. — Renata Suerth

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards — Benny Bellamacina

Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time — Benny Bellamacina

There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar: it keeps the mind nimble, it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor. — George Santayana

Fear is a basic human instinct and an indicator of the gravity of a situation. It becomes an asset if it is effectively controlled. It becomes a weakness for a man if he lets it prevail over him. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Isn't reality based on the prevailing culture, the trend that people want to identify with? — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

No one's an angel - especially if he's a man — Ken Follett

There are people who bring joy to our lives, but who fail to make us happy. They are the people for the moment. Never rely on their love because it is not sustainable. Their love is alike a comet that illuminates the sky, but then fades away because it lacks the sustainable energy of the sun. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

In Zen you practice zazen, mindfulness and other forms of introspection to find out who you are and what you want, to balance your spirit, develop willpower, increase your sense of humor and gain wisdom. — Frederick Lenz

Staring into the dragon's maw, one quickly learns wisdom. — Steven Brust

Master: When a human being asks 'WHO AM I?', the honest answer is eternal silence.
Disciple: Do we make noise to feel that silence, Master? — Saurabh Sharma

Kindness is a source of relief to the soul of the giver, creating a sense of fortitude that is incomprehensible to those who do not know what kindness is all about. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Be aware of the type of humor you use in your daily life. Just because people are laughing doesn't mean it is creating positive vibes. — Alaric Hutchinson

Duty has a trick of behaving unexpectedly
something like a heavy friend whom we have amiably asked to visit us, and who breaks his leg within our gates. — George Eliot

When you meet familiarity which demeans true integrity, run away! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Wisdom of the Ages "Assault and Battery" Weather forecast for the St. Louis Rams next Sunday in Seattle. — Matthew D. Heines

Lettie sighed - wisdom seems to be highly correlated with sighing. — Laura May

It is hard to forget that which it is worse than useless to remember. — Henry David Thoreau

With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

We always emerge from the death of a loved one like a phoenix arising from its funeral pyre. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

My hope is that we can navigate through this world and our lives with the grace and integrity of those who need our protection. May we have the sense of humor and liveliness of the goats; may we have the maternal instincts and protective nature of the hens and the sassiness of the roosters. May we have the gentleness and strength of the cattle, and the wisdom, humility, and serenity of the donkeys. May we appreciate the need for community as do the sheep and choose our companion as carefully as do the rabbits. May we have the faithfulness and commitment to family as the geese, and adaptability and affability of the ducks. May we have the intelligence, loyalty, and affection of the pigs and the inquisitiveness, sensitivity, and playfulness of the turkeys.
My hope is that we learn from the animals what it is we need to become better people. — Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

This town, this country, this world, is full to the brim with clever people, and just look at it. Never been in such awful shape. Clever people don't give a damn about anybody but themselves. Too busy being clever. The world doesn't need anymore clever people. It needs people with wisdom. — Jon Steele

In your selflessness pursuit of things higher than yourself, you appear selfish or inconsiderate to those who truly love you and who have cared deeply about you from the first day you came into their lives. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. — Benjamin Franklin

We can never skip growing old. As we grow older, we understand old things and things of old times better! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

In the world of today, human desires far supersede human needs. Waste, as you can see, is the result of all of those contradictions. That is how we ended up complicating our world. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Don't underestimate your own triumphs. Leave it to the enemy.
# Krishn — Sweety Shinde

Only a female could be as calculating and have the foresight that destiny requires,' the gypsy explained. 'Now fate is a man,' he went on, 'no planning, just go with the flow and see what tomorrow brings. — Traci Harding

Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything. — Washington Irving

Dangerously close to having to work for a living. — Rosen Topuzov

As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music. — Chogyam Trungpa

We, Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of the Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned by the wisdom of Almighty God and the unanimous voice of our people to the throne of our ancestors, do hereby proclaim ... — Evelyn Waugh

Other priests, he knew, found an intense pleasure in the raw, salty dialect of peasant conversation. They picked up pearls of wisdom and experience over a farmhouse table or a cup of wine in a workingman's kitchen. They talked with equal familiarity to the rough-tongued whores of Trastevere and the polished signori of Parioli. They enjoyed the ribald humor of the fish market as much as the wit of a Cardinal's dinner table. They were good priests too, and they did much good for their people, with a singular satisfaction to themselves. — Morris L. West

Remember to remember: sometimes your adversary is your biggest asset. Where would David be without Goliath? Jesus without Judas? — Brandi L. Bates

My own life is wonderful, but if I had to live the life of someone else, I'd gladly choose that of Julia Child or Dr. Seuss: two outrageously original people, each of whom fashioned an idiosyncratic wisdom, passion for life, and sense of humor into an art form that anyone and everyone could savor. — Julia Glass

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people — Benny Bellamacina

If I had only known kittens can climb drapes, perch on top of a traverse rod, and then screech like some femme fatale in a low budget horror flick to be rescued. That a kitten sounds like a herd of buffalo running on hardwood floors in the middle of the night. If I had only known a kitten's claws can sink through a sheet into your balls while you're jerking off. An old adage says, "Live and learn," and I amassed an encyclopedic amount out cat wisdom in less than twenty-four hours. — K.C. Kendricks

Your never over the hill to find true love because sometimes, that's where it is — Benny Bellamacina

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more ... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what.
[I saw hate in a graveyard
Stephen Fry, The Guardian, 5 June 2005] — Stephen Fry

One Monday, just for sport, Charlie grabbed an eggplant that a spectacularly wizened granny was going for, but instead of twisting it out of his hand with some mystic kung fu move as he expected, she looked him in the eye and shook her head - just a jog, barely perceptible really - it might have been a tic, but it was the most eloquent of gestures. Charlie read it as saying: O White Devil, you do not want to purloin that purple fruit, for I have four thousand years of ancestors and civilization on you; my grandparents built the railroads and dug the silver mines, and my parents survived the earthquake, the fire, and a society that outlawed even being Chinese; I am mother to a dozen, grandmother to a hundred, and great-grandmother to a legion; I have birthed babies and washed the dead; I am history and suffering and wisdom; I am a Buddha and a dragon; so get your fucking hand off my eggplant before you lose it. — Christopher Moore

A big part of wisdom is to learn which situations to get involved in, or not get involved in - it really is as simple as that. — Art Hochberg

Wisdom you speak, Obi Tina.'
'None of that - I'm the one who gets to speak backwards - no, we're both wrong - that's the little green guy, Yoda.'
'You're right. So I just get to pout and act badly when you try and teach me anything.'
'Try channelling Luke rather than Annakin - the outcome is better. — Joss Stirling

Tragedy plus time equals humor — Marie Osmond

But my personal favorite words of wisdom came from Gulley during the last thirty minutes of the trip, when she broke up a backseat scuffle by declaring, 'When you lick the person sitting next to you, there's a good chance you're going to get punched.'
I believe the only reason that gem is missing from the book of Proverbs is because Solomon must never have traveled with three kids in the back of his chariot. — Melanie Shankle

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn't do good for people, she did right by them. — Terry Pratchett

When one door closes, a window opens and then zombies pile in and bite you in the ass. — Unknown

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. — Henry David Thoreau

Control is a nice concept, little more. — Anna Quindlen

Writers understand the world better, but they lack the strength to change it. Perhaps that is so because they understand their limitations more than others. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. — Lili St. Crow