William Churchill Funny Quotes & Sayings

The other night I went out to have dinner in a London pub and the barmaid had this whole conversation saying, 'You look just like that guy from Twilight'. Every time she came up, she said something like, 'You literally could be his brother'. But she never put two and two together. — Robert Pattinson

Are not rays of light very small bodies emitted from shining substances? — Isaac Newton

I'm sure nobody wants to just work and earn money and all that stuff. I know it's difficult for people to break out of the syndrome, doing a normal job. — Paul Simonon

What's up with you and that new guy anyway?" Simon watched David leaving the room with contempt on his face.
"Nothing."
"Nothing or none of my business?"
"Both." I placed my hand on my chin over the table and pretended he wasn't talking to me. — Nely Cab

People don't have ideas, ideas have people. — Paul B. Rainey

Most people are only doing the best that they know how to do.Blaming and holding grudges only brings more pain. — Maggie Cox

Normally, I am a vocal advocate for 'looking both ways' and 'knowing the size of one's own body.' But working, socialising and simply running errands in Manhattan, means I am bound to break my own rules on occasion. — Sloane Crosley

I wish there were more true conversion, and then there would not be so much backsliding, and, for fear of suffering, living at ease, when there are so few to contend for Christ and His cause. — Donald Cargill

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways. — Norm MacDonald

The answer to the question, 'where's the drama?' is another question: 'what's the problem? — Billy Marshall Stoneking

The thing to remember about love affairs," says Simone, "is that they are all like having raccoons in your chimney."
...
We have raccoons sometimes in our chimney," explains Simone.
And once we tried to smoke them out. We lit a fire, knowing they were there, but we hoped the smoke would cause them to scurry out the top and never come back. Instead, they caught on fire and came crashing down into our living room, all charred and in flames and running madly around until they dropped dead." Simone swallows some wine. "Love affairs are like that," she says. "They are all like that. — Lorrie Moore