Why Not Me Mindy Kaling Quotes & Sayings

Kevin's always saying things like "You've got a real deep bench, now, kid." Or "You gotta keep your eye on the ball, and you're going to push it over the goal line." And I have no idea what he is talking about, but I nod enthusiastically and say, "Sure, of course, sports," and hope he doesn't ask any follow-up questions. — Mindy Kaling

People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What's wrong with me? — Mindy Kaling

If you're Natalie Dormer, you can take big fashion risks and shave half your head, and it looks good. If you're a normal person and you try that, you just look like you had recent brain surgery. — Mindy Kaling

I discovered that kids hate for any food to resemble the form it originally was in nature. They are on to something because that processed garbage was insanely delicious. — Mindy Kaling

I find it very sad that so many girls who look up to me are young women of color who have been told that they are ugly, and who feel that they are not normal ... I think it's so important that women look like me find that they can be beautiful or objects of love, attention and affection. — Mindy Kaling

My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive. — Mindy Kaling

You always want to keep your look clean and elegant, but you don't have to do the safe black-dress route. Have some fun! Wear something colorful with a hint of sparkle. — Mindy Kaling

I am always surprised at what movie studios think people will want to see. I'm even more surprised at how often they are correct. — Mindy Kaling

If I'm at a party where I'm not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye. — Mindy Kaling

No, that is boring. If people want to see medical stuff they should watch ER. — Mindy Kaling

People's reaction to me is sometimes "Uch, I just don't like her. I hate how she thinks she is so great." But it's not that I think I'm so great. I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave. — Mindy Kaling

I'm giving a lot of opinions, but I don't give any advice. I'm 31 and I'm not married and having kids. I'm five-foot-three. I weigh, like, 150 pounds and I'm not in this position to be telling people how to live. — Mindy Kaling

Which is why you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them. — Mindy Kaling

Something that's happened recently is that I don't beat myself up about stuff. — Mindy Kaling

So it was surprising that I killed it as a babysitter. Er, maybe "killed it" is a wrong and potentially troubling way to express what I'm trying to say. — Mindy Kaling

Sometimes a story just needs an ending, and I used to not be a creative enough person to think of an ending to a romantic story that isn't a wedding or a death. This story didn't end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life. All I had to do now was move on. — Mindy Kaling

Even though Mavis was my secret friend, she is the only one I hope I see again. She's the only one I wonder about. I hope she wonders about me too. — Mindy Kaling

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic. — Mindy Kaling

I also began to have a pretty disturbing attitude toward eating. I developed a real superiority complex to people who ate actual food. I realized that this is how fashion editors at women's magazines must feel all the time. Oh God, look at those sad piggos, munching away on their sandwiches. I'd just sit there, sipping my kale juice, quietly judging everyone as they happily ate their lunches. And — Mindy Kaling

I think I've always wanted to be a role model, and I think ... everyone should try to live their life like they'd like to be a role model. I think it's like the thing keeping me out of jail. — Mindy Kaling

When I pick songs for karaoke, I have three concerns: (1) What will this song say about me? (2) How will I sound singing it? and (3) How will it make people feel? — Mindy Kaling

I don't have very much time to surf the net, because it's as though my boss has a tracking device on me. The instant I'm looking at a Chloe sweater on Shopbop, I'll get a call in my office with a PA asking: "Paul wants to know where you are and why you're not in the writers room, and if maybe you're online shopping." — Mindy Kaling

It was October 2001 and I lived in New York City. I was twenty-two. I, like many of my female friends, suffered from a strange combination of post-9/11 anxiety and height-of-Sex-and-the-City anxiety. They are distinct and unnerving anxieties. The questions that ran through my mind went something like this: Should I keep a gas mask in my kitchen? Am I supposed to be able to afford Manolo Blahnik shoes? What is Barneys New York? You're trying to tell me a place called "Barneys" is fancy? Where are the fabulous gay friends I was promised? Gay guys hate me! Is this anthrax or powdered sugar? Help! Help! — Mindy Kaling

In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with the for the next forty years. — Mindy Kaling

Will (now renamed "Trouble Don't Pick Up" in my phone) came to L.A. with the president and asked me to dinner. — Mindy Kaling

If I sound bitter, that's because I'm still a little bitter. — Mindy Kaling

As a kid, I was curious but not remotely adventurous, if that makes sense. — Mindy Kaling

The great thing about true best friends is that when you go MIA for a few months, they inquire but they don't press. Best friends know the power of infatuation but also how quickly it dissipates. You just have to wait it out. And then afterward, tease them about it for decades. — Mindy Kaling

Just as long as it pays enough to give me the option to go back to work part-time if I decide to pursue my hobby professionally, which is photographing cool manicures for Instagram. — Mindy Kaling

I feel like the high-concept shows that have some kind of gimmick tend not to be the hit classic shows of all time. — Mindy Kaling

On 'The Office,' so much of the show is about disguising your true feelings and your romantic feelings because it was a mock documentary. — Mindy Kaling

I've worked in television for 10 years straight. If I were a man, it wouldn't be considered strange [to have confidence] at all. — Mindy Kaling

IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED, I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU As everyone knows, depressed people are some of the most boring people in the world. I know this because when I was depressed, people fled. Except my best friends. I will be there for you during your horrible break-up, or getting fired from your job, or if you're just having a bad couple of months or year. I will hate it and find you really tedious, but I promise I won't abandon you. — Mindy Kaling

Nobody wants to hear that any aspect of my awesome life is bad. I get that. But there are days, maybe two or three times a year, when I get completely overwhelmed by my job and go to my office, lie on the floor, and cry for ten minutes. Then I think: Mindy, you have literally the best life in the world besides that hot lawyer who married George Clooney. This is what you dreamed about when you were a weird, determined little ten-year-old. There are more than a thousand people in one square mile of this studio who would kill to have this job. Get your ass up off the floor and go back into that writers' room, you weakling. Then I get up, pour myself a generous glass of whiskey and club soda, think about the sustained grit of my parents, and go back to work. — Mindy Kaling