Whoopee Cushions Quotes & Sayings

Don't fall asleep yet. Contrary to popular belief, that's not where dreams get accomplished. — George Watsky

I don't look so much for tips. But when they interview a Nicklaus or a Palmer, I'm all ears. I listen to guys who have done it, been successful for years. — Pete Sampras

But I think schools also ought to be fair to all views. Because, frankly, Darwinism is not an established scientific fact. It is a theory of evolution, that's why it's called the theory of evolution. — Mike Huckabee

Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier. — George Clooney

I once compiled a list of events that frightened her, and it was quite comprehensive: very loud snoring; low-flying aircraft; church bells; fire engines; trains; buses and lorries; thunder; shouting; large cars; most medium-sized cars; noisy small cars; burglar alarms; fireworks, especially crackers; loud radios; barking dogs; whinnying horses; nearby silent horses; cows in general; megaphones; sheep; corks coming out of sparkling wine bottles; motorcycles, even very small ones; balloons being popped; vacuum cleaners (not being used by her); things being dropped; dinner gongs; parrot houses; whoopee cushions; chiming doorbells; hammering; bombs; hooters; old-fashioned alarm clocks; pneumatic drills; and hairdryers (even those used by her). — John Cleese

Roecker sure is a romantic about certain things, like art and music, though you might not know it from watching Live Freaky! Die Freaky!, his claymation musical retelling of the Helter Skelter Charlie Manson saga. — John Roecker

A wise man once said, 'Every one of us is given the gift of life, and what a strange gift it is. If it is preserved jealously and selfishly, it impoverishes and saddens. But if it is spent for others, it enriches and beautifies.' My fellow Americans: We can debate policies and programs, but in the end what separates the two parties in this election campaign is whether we use the gift of life for others or only ourselves. — Geraldine Ferraro

Legal dialogue is awesome, but you can't ad lib. It's much more fun to be looser and say things like, 'Can I work in a Han Solo reference?' I'm a 'Star Wars' freak. — Diane Neal

Anyway ... I'm a firm believe that every girl should get one Barbie dream wedding in her lifetime, but if that marriage craps out, I'm also a firm believer that all future weddings must be banned to beaches and back yards. — Chrissy Anderson

Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few whoopee cushions in the United Nations. — Ron Dentinger

In Boffo's Novelty and Joke Emporium in Ankh-Morpork, all the whoopee cushions trumpeted in a doleful harmony; — Terry Pratchett

This is fellowship: sharing with one another what God is teaching through the Scriptures, and this is an important part of true community. — Jerry Bridges

My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them. — Philippos Syrigos

I don't like it when they [media critics] see me as this little person who doesn't know what to do with herself
like I have no idea what I want, like I'm just a puppet ... That's demeaning to me, because that ain't how it is, and it never was. — Whitney Houston

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place. — Ice-T

Why, on my mother's birthday, am I thinking about 'Father Knows Best?' At our house, mother knew best at least as often as father did, but then the title of the old sitcom, a homogenized portrait of American family life, was meant to be slightly sardonic. — Tom Shales

Mister whoever-the-fuck you are," said Shadow, just loud enough to be heard over the din of the engines, "there isn't enough money in the world. — Neil Gaiman

Screw your courage to the sticking-place — William Shakespeare

I worked extra hard at my job in an effort to feel good about myself and keep depression from overtaking me. I attended the temple often. Those were things I could actually do, rather than just sit back in my misery and hope God would take it away. My — B. Russell McConkie