Who Is Josh Billings Quotes & Sayings

If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do. — Josh Billings

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are. — Josh Billings

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is — Josh Billings

It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days. — Josh Billings

As in a game of cards, so in the game of life, we must play what is dealt to us, and the glory consists, not so much in winning as in playing a poor hand well. — Josh Billings

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. — Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. — Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. — Josh Billings

A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it. — Josh Billings

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise. — Josh Billings

Fun is a sugar-coated physic. — Josh Billings

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. — Josh Billings

Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer. — Josh Billings

Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. — Josh Billings

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. — Josh Billings

Silence never makes any blunders. — Josh Billings

The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others. — Josh Billings

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. — Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. — Josh Billings

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes. — Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. — Josh Billings

Truth is the edict of God. — Josh Billings

I have always been fond of Josh Billings's remark that "it is much easier to be a harmless dove than a wise serpent." There are plenty of decent legislators, and plenty of able legislators; but the blamelessness and the fighting edge are not always combined. Both qualities are necessary for the man who is to wage active battle against the powers that prey. — Theodore Roosevelt

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor. — Josh Billings

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good. — Josh Billings

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? — Josh Billings

The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is. — Josh Billings

Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, But four times he who gets his blow in fust — Josh Billings

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him. — Josh Billings

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome. — Josh Billings

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. — Josh Billings

Everyone who does the best he can is a hero. — Josh Billings

As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals. — Josh Billings

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. — Josh Billings

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod. — Josh Billings

Jealousy is one of love's parasites. — Josh Billings

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. — Josh Billings

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it. — Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow. — Josh Billings

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other. — Josh Billings

There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel. — Josh Billings

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE. — Josh Billings

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough. — Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. — Josh Billings

Some folks are wise and some otherwise. — Josh Billings

He whom prosperity humbles, and adversity strengthens, is the true hero. — Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today. — Josh Billings

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. — Josh Billings

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles. — Josh Billings

The books are balanced in heaven, not here. — Josh Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. — Josh Billings

Where religion is a trade, morality is a merchandise. — Josh Billings

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into. — Josh Billings

If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. — Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. — Josh Billings

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich. — Josh Billings

I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. — Josh Billings

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. — Josh Billings

The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it. — Josh Billings

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. — Josh Billings

People travel to learn; most of them before they start should learn to travel. — Josh Billings