Well Duh Quotes & Sayings

You think food, dancing, and sex is the answer to everything.
Everything worth anything, duh! — Nancy Gideon

Without ever exactly putting his mind to it, he's come to believe that loss is the standard trajectory. Something new appears in the world-a baby, say, or a car or a house, or an individual shows some special talent-with luck and huge expenditures of soul and effort you might keep the project stoked for a while, but eventually, ultimately, its going down. This is a truth so brutally self-evident that he can't fathom why it's not more widely percieved, hence his contempt for the usual public shock and outrage when a particular situation goes to hell. The war is fucked? Well, duh. Nine-eleven? Slow train coming. They hate our freedoms? Yo, they hate our actual guts! Billy suspects his fellow Americans secretly know better, but something in the land is stuck on teenage drama, on extravagant theatrics of ravaged innocence and soothing mud wallows of self-justifying pity. — Ben Fountain

You're alive!" Fezzik cried.
The man in black sat immobile, like a ventriloquist's dummy, just his mouth moving. "That is perhaps the most childishly obvious remark I have ever come across ... — William Goldman

People want to be happy, and all the other things they want are typically meant to be a means to that end. — Daniel M. Gilbert

White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in "Duh" magazine. — Andy Borowitz

When I look at 'Napoleon Dynamite's style I'm reminded of how I spoke when I was an eight-year-old boy. It was just like capturing the essence of, 'Duh!' It was just like the stuff that I would say when I was like eight, nine, ten years old. — Jason Reitman

No duh, Susan said. You are like a walking vault of things you don't tell people. People who have secrets should pay you to hold on to them for them. You could be like a secret bank. — Chelsea Cain

My forehead hit the table again with a thud. Ow. The words left me in a rush.
"I'm-fucking-the-married-closeted-father-of-my-only-close-friend-in-the-entire-world-and-his-wife-is-going-to-be-here-in-two-weeks."
I heard the hiss as Robin sucked his breath in between his teeth. "Ouch."
"Yeah." I sighed, my forehead rubbing against the table as I nodded miserably. At least he didn't try to deny the idiotic part.
"You know there's absolutely no way that can end well."
"Duh. — Amelia C. Gormley

Sorry," I said, realizing I was taking my frustrations out on her. "I'm still getting over Soph," I said, referring to my old prep school friend.
Sophie Price was the most beautiful girl you'd ever met. Seriously. Take it from someone who's met Bar Refaeli in person. Soph was even more stunning. Especially since she'd had a personality makeover. I'd never regret anything as much as I would not making her fall in love with me.
"You can't make anyone fall, Spence. Either they do or they don't."
"I said that out loud?"
"Duh and it's been two years, Spencer. You seriously need to get over her. She's with that Ian guy anyway, right?"
"Right."
"That hot South African guy named Ian," she concluded.
"Thanks."
"That hot saffy named Ian who gives his life to mutilated Ugandan orphans and worships the ground Sophie walks on."
I stopped and glared at her. "That'll do, Bridge. — Fisher Amelie

What do I geek out over? I mean, totally, I geek out over Hanson. Duh. — Nikki Reed

I'm probably the only sixteen-year-old girl in a three hundred mile radius who knows how to distinguish between a poltergeist from an actual ghost (hint: If you can disrupt it with nitric acid, or if it throws new crap at you every time, it's a poltergeist), or how to tell if a medium's real or faking it (poke 'em with a true iron needle). I know the six signs of a good occult store (Number One is the proprietor bolts the door before talking about Real Business) and the four things you never do when you're in a bar with other people who know about the darker side of the world (don't look weak). I know how to access public information and talk my way around clerks in courthouses (a smile and the right clothing will work wonders). I also know how to hack into newspaper files, police reports, and some kinds of government databases (primary rule: Don't get caught. Duh). — Lilith Saintcrow

Till our next date?"
"Oh, yeah," he says, making a "well, duh" face. "All bets are off on our next date. — Kelley R. Martin

First, singles can't learn everything from singles. Duh. Nor can young adults learn everything from other young adults. To think that we're an island unto ourselves and can operate healthily under that construct is both arrogant and misguided. For one thing, we just don't know enough. We need older, seasoned believers to get up in our business and tell us what's what. We need to know where you've walked and what you've learned from the journey. — Lisa Anderson

My town was all-white and shut down Section 8 housing because they didn't want black people to move into the town. And I thought that was wrong - duh. — Cecily McMillan

Did you send an escort with my family?" "Yes. They're a target." "How did you know they would be leaving?" "My people saw them load up, called me, and I told them to follow." Duh. "Thank you." "You're welcome. I plan to hold them hostage until you sleep with me." I stumbled. He turned and gave me a brilliant, impossibly handsome smile. "Just kidding." Damn it. — Ilona Andrews

I knew it!" she said, glaring at me. "You're in league with the devil." "Duh. I'm affianced to him. Or, well, his son. I guess that makes me 'in league' with him, but you can't judge people by their in-laws. In-laws are all crazy. Everyone knows that. — Darynda Jones

Duh! So, we're asking you now, what are some of your favorite lines that this warlock brain produced? — Charlie Sheen

She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on his mouth. Name. He wanted her name. She had to think about it for a second before she remembered. Great. She must have hit her head. Which, duh, explained the headache. — Larissa Ione

You'll be okay driving home?" "Duh," I feel miffed that he'd pat me like a child, but also weird and glowy on the inside in places I don't even wanna think about. "I'm like a NASCAR driver. Minus the millions of dollars." "Shame, really. Imagine how many more people you could annoy if you were a millionaire." "At least ten whole people. And their grandmas. — Sara Wolf

Cimil's eyes lit. "The Niccolo DiConti? What an honor!" Niccolo stood a little taller then. "Yes, I seek your assistance." Cimil rolled her eyes. "Well, no duh. You didn't abandon your queen's side, risking her wrath, to see me in my fabulous birthday suit. — Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

I have an allergy to catching and throwing and kicking and dribbling of any kind. Noah is not a team player. Well, duh. Revolutionaries aren't team players. — Jandy Nelson

I d-duh-don't know wh-why you even b-buh -bother b-buh-because in s-six y-yuh-years y-you're g-guh-going to be j-juh-just l-like - ""Don't say that."Something inside me went cold. "I'm never going to be like him. — Joe Schreiber

This is very American, too - the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud's for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You're Worth It! You've Come a Long Way, Baby! And the insecure consumer thinks, Yeah! Thanks! I AM gonna go buy a six-pack, damn it! Maybe even two six-packs! And then comes the reactionary binge. Followed by the remorse. Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled enjoyment in this life. The reply in Italy to "You Deserve a Break Today" would probably be, Yeah, no duh. That's why I'm planning on taking a break at noon, to go over to you house and sleep with your wife. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Things she knew now, that she hadn't known two hours ago:
Park was covered with skin. Everywhere. — Rainbow Rowell

How did you get hired?" "I checked the box on the application that said "descendant" by mistake. I'm dyslexic and I thought it said something else."
"Okay," I said, thinking that was the worst employment application mistake ever. "And they all believe him to be the true ruler of Fallen?"
"All the Mei-Bettys do. They're, like, obsessed with it. It's a little like restaurant-of-the-body-snatchers, you know?"
"Then why do you work there?" I asked. "Clearly, you figured out something was wrong with them."
"Duh, but it pays well and they provide room and board. I sorta needed the job and a place to stay. It's got free wifi," she said, as if that explained everything. — H.D. Smith

I hate the attitude of, 'oh we already have a Lydia Lunch, so we do we need a Bikini Kill.' Well, there's like 2 hundered million all-male bands writting 'baby baby I love you, let me drag you around on my ankle.' Is that enough already? Duh! — Kathleen Hanna

Well, duh. He was six feet, six inches tall and built like a brick shithouse. — J.R. Ward

Mrs. Ishida smirked at the other parents. "Told you she could see demons." Ayden gaped.
"You knew?"
"Duh," Mr. Ishida snorted.
"Why does no one say anything?" I said.
"Plausible deniability," they all chorused. "Oh."
A & E Kirk (2014-05-26). Drop Dead Demons: The Divinicus Nex Chronicles: Book 2 (Divinicus Nex Chronicles series) (p. 510). A&E Kirk. Kindle Edition. — A&E Kirk

I bet you thought I was Alison, didn't you? Well, sorry, but I'm not. Duh. She's dead. — Sara Shepard

She took a second look at him, at his fancy tailored suit. Dark gray with pinstripes. Oh please, like she'd really believe he was a dom at all? "Gabrielle Anderson. Are you sure you're Master Marcus?"
"Why would you think I'm not Master Marcus?" he asked. Well, good grief. She waved a hand at him and kept the duh from slipping out. Just in case he really was Master Marcus. Maybe he hadn't changed yet or something. "The suit? Where are your leathers or latex or ... biker jacket or vest? And black? Did you forget to wear black?"
He stared for a second, as if she'd turned into a drooling idiot, and then simply roared. Deep, full laughter - amazing coming from someone who looked like he should have a stick up his ass. — Cherise Sinclair

Well, Karou had wanted to retort, with all the gravity and maturity she could muster. Duh. — Laini Taylor

The book, Sadie ... Sometimes it's helpful to have someone other than yourself inside your head, because one can slap the other. Duh, the book! — Rick Riordan

I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI].
"Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?"
"Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants."
"Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked.
"Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake."
"Yeah, but is that really the point?"
"Duh. — Darynda Jones

You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"
Y-yes, Mr. D."
Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"
You're a god."
Yes, child."
A god. You. — Rick Riordan

First. Don't get drunk. Don't smoke anything."
"Duh. What are you, my dad? That's easy. I don't drink. We aren't even twenty-one. I seriously doubt anyone will be drinking at the Hodjwick house. And who smokes cigarettes anymore? So gross."
Dustin shook his head. "You are so backwards. I wasn't talking about cigarettes, and if you truly believe no one will be drinking at a high school party on a Saturday night then you are too much of a baby to even leave your own house. — Anne Eliot

And I got myself a camel," Cordy finished with a smile.
Lex stared at her. "Why?"
"Duh, Lex, because I can . — Gina Damico

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free. — Will Durst

Don't duh me!" Puck snapped. "Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have."
Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head. — Michael Buckley

We crossed one of the subterranean rivers, then wound our wag through the library quarter and the Chamber of Birds.
(Carter says I should tell you why it's called that. It's a cave full of all sorts of birds. Again
duh. [Carter, why are you banging your head against the table?]) — Rick Riordan

Facinating." He broke into a wide grin. "I've discovered something, Khufu. This is not Memphis, Egypt."
Khufu gave me a sideways look, and I could swear his expression meant, Duh.
"I've also discovered a new form of magic called blues music," the man continued. "And barbecue. Yes, you must try barbecue. — Rick Riordan

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. — Jay Leno

Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.
Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone. — Kimberly Pauley

When you are starting a business or going down any challenging endeavor, you are bound to encounter challenges. You are going to hit many roadblocks and obstacles. These are obstacles that would make any sane person want to throw in the towel and quit. If you want your business to succeed, you can't do that (duh). — Richard Branson

She's giving me that duh, really? look that my little sister gives me. Women must be born with that special talent. — Georgia Cates

Reality took forever - the underwater way people walked and sent their voices wobbling through the air, how printed words lay inert like bugsplat, all manifesting the basic DUH of the physical plane. By the time he decided to go anywhere he wondered why he wasn't there already. As soon as he sent an email he felt he should already have the reply. And learning any fact, he was annoyed not to have known it already, because whenever anything happened, the conversation around it had already trended and backlashed and been reexamined and swallowed and shat and reswallowed and reshat in a thousand places online, until all thinking felt redundant. We needed brain-to-brain; only then would we catch up to real time. Right now everything progressed so slowly that by the time we arrived at the future it was the present again. — Tony Tulathimutte

Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says.
"They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows.
"'The bomb' is a good thing? Like 'sick'?
"Duh," I reply, and Dad lets out a sigh.
"Thirteen-year-olds should come with subtitles," he says, turning onto our street. — Maya Gold

This bulletin brought to you from the Department of Duh. — K.A. Mitchell

Duh, I'm hungry and your wife ate everything in the fridge. — N K Pockett

If you two are starting a detective agency, I want in," said Selene, adjusting her ball cap.

"Well, duh," said Eli, beaming at her.

"And we're going to need a name," Selene said. "Something good and catchy."

"You're right." Eli scratched his chin. "How about the Arkwell Detective Agency. The A.D.A."

Selene wrinkled her nose. "Sounds too much like a chemical or something."

"What about Booker and Associates?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not all about you, you know?"

Eli grinned. "Says who?"

"I think we should call it Selene Investigations."

"No, Nightmare Investigations."

"Dreamer Investigations."

"The Dream Team."

"How about Magic Eyes? You know, like private eyes, only for magic."

"Corny much? — Mindee Arnett

Duh, Winning!!!!


(hhahaha) — Charlie Sheen

How does Galdoila know about the reward?" i asked.
"He reads the signs," Grover said. "Duh."
"Of course," I said. "Silly me. — Rick Riordan

I'm having the weirdest sense of deja vu right now," said the green caterpiller.
Duh!" said the blue caterpiller. "Do you think, just maybe, that's because you predicted this?"
Oh, yeah."
The Looking Glass Wars — Frank Beddor

What happens when a sheepdog gets bit by a wolf?"
"Duh. It becomes a wolf."
"No. It becomes a sheepdog that fights with the lawlessness and savagery of a wolf. — Karen Marie Moning

People say I manipulate the media. Well, duh. We live in a media culture, so why on earth wouldn't I? — Paul Watson

Do you know what my name is, converted to binary code?"
He looked at her. "Is Tanzie your full name?"
"No. But it's the one I use."
He blew out his cheeks. "Um. Okay. 01010100 01100001 01101110 01111010 01101001 01100101."
"Did you say 1010 at the end? Or 0101?"
"1010. Duh. — Jojo Moyes

Well, duh. You're cuter than she is. He said it like he might say, Grass is green or, Gravity works.
Something warm opened up inside my chest. It was a nice feeling. — Lilith Saintcrow

If toting the standard equipment is not what male or female, exactly what does?
well, duh, its barrettes.
At least thats what kids think it is your clothing, hairstyle, toy choice, favorite color.
Slippery stuff, that. You can see how perilously easy would be to err — Peggy Orenstein

I did an interview earlier and somebody asked me if I [knew I] was onto something back when I was first writing. I said, "Yeah. I always thought I was good." We're not the Beatles or Led Zeppelin or AC/DC. But Helmet always sounded like Helmet, and we sort of developed our own sound. There's a vocabulary that's kind of universal now that's very simple. My friendDavid Sims, [the bassist] in Jesus Lizard, said, "I wish I'd thought of it." When you first hear it, it's like, "Oh duh." But that's cool. — Page Hamilton

-We've been dating for three years!He's my boyfriend!
-You have stronger feelings for Baz and Simon!
-Duh, they're Baz and Simon, like that's even fair ... — Rainbow Rowell

In short, we derive support for our preferred conclusions by listening to the words that we put in the mouths of people who have already been preselected for their willingness to say what we want to hear. — Daniel M. Gilbert

Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?" I asked it. "Preferably not a chain, since it's no longer the 1990s?" The sword didn't reply (duh), but I imagined it was humming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what? "I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?" The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. — Rick Riordan

I was having tea with a guy I was introduced to, about the possibility of working with him at his production company. He asked me if I'd written anything, and I said yes. Then he said 'why don't you just shoot it'? And I thought, "duh!" Best advice I ever got. — Chika Anadu

Orange is the New Black is a really boring porn. — Mitty Walters

He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two." My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex?" "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen." I gaped at her. — Gena Showalter

I've heard some stupid questions in my life. Usually they come in clusters: Why do you have that gun? What are you doing? Are you going to kill me? Uh, duh. I'm sure as hell not going to shoot myself. — J.M. Darhower

What are you? (Nick)
Completely perplexed. You remember everything that happened. (Acheron)
Yeah. Duh. Not like you're going to forget the killer zombie stalkers and psyched-out kitchen staff. What kind of freak show is this? (Nick) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

So out of the six major subcontractors who buy from us, there are two left? Man, that's a turf war, right there."
"And whoever's pulling this shit is probably going to try to work his way up the food chain." Trez spoke up. "Which is why iAm and I think you should have someone with you twenty-four/seven until this shit shakes out."
Rehv seemed annoyed but he didn't disagree. "We got any intel on who's leaving all those bodies around?"
"Well, duh," Trez said. "People think it's you."
"Not logical. Why would I kill off my own buyers?"
Now Rehv was the one getting the hairy eyeball from the peanut gallery.
"Oh, come on," he said. "I'm not that bad. Well, okay, but only if someone fucks with me."

-Rehv & Trez — J.R. Ward

The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler
from France. — Jay Leno

We're [Ocean Conservancy group] trying to convince people it's a bad idea to catch fish faster than they can reproduce. That should be a duh, but it's still going on. — Mark Powell

Loser loser Double loser whatever as if get the picture DUH! — Lisi Harrison

It's in the Bible. God created it. He did not create gay marriage. He created man and woman marriage
duh! — Victoria Jackson

Richie saw the empty street where nothing moved and suddenly burst into tears. Bill looked at him for a moment and then put his arms around Richie and hugged him. Richie clutched at Bill's neck and hugged him back. He wanted to say something clever, something about how Bill should have tried the Bullseye on the Werewolf, but nothing would come out. Nothing except sobs. "D-Don't, R-Richie," Bill said, "duh-duh-duh-h-h - " Then he burst into tears himself and they only hugged each other on their knees in the street beside Bill's spilled bike, and their tears made clean streaks down their cheeks, which were sooted with coaldust. — Stephen King

In theory, you're supposed to get
everyone's names and become lifelong friends. I literally had contact with half the kids
here last night, but how in hell do they expect me to differentiate one of my butt-to-butt
dancing partners from another? Am I supposed to randomly rub my buttocks up against
people to see if we've bonded booties before? "Yes, the particular musculature of your
ass does feel familiar. 1 remember you now!" Duh. — Megan McCafferty

When you're younger - duh - you don't really have the tools to deal with certain things in your life. — Scott Ian

Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!"
As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic."
"It's porn!"
"Duh
"
"Okay, I am not sitting through this with you"
The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing. — J.R. Ward

First," said Ms. Johnson, "I want you to know that you are all winners,"

Why do grown-ups always say that? Duh,we know we're not all winners. — Bruce Hale

What am I doing here?
I haven't talked to my dad in two days. He's probably moved from worry to sheer panic because I haven't come home. And maybe he's right to be afraid. Maybe I should be more afraid. I had sex with a guy I barely know. Followed him into the middle of nowhere because of it. Even after I found out about the gun. Even after Lindsey didn't go home. He swears he won't hurt me, but his past tells a different, violent story, and I don't know what to believe. I rationalized everything, telling myself that I earned this time away from home. But now, with too much time to do nothing but think, I wonder if I was just plain selfish. Just . . . stupid. — Trish Doller

Miguel hated the corn, said the plants seemed . . . alive. When Finn reminded him that, duh, of course the corn was alive, all plants were alive, Miguel replied that the corn sounded alive alive. As if it wasn't just growing, it was ripping itself out of the ground and sneaking around on skinny white roots. — Laura Ruby