Weight Loss Humor Quotes & Sayings

No cookie is a good cookie — Pete Abilla

I finally figured out the big, elusive secret to weight loss. Don't eat! Who knew? — Richelle E. Goodrich

If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas. — Jennette Fulda

You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones ... basically every part of you will notice, go into withdrawals, and stage a coup). Be prepared for this mentally, and you'll own this thing. — Lisa Jey Davis

Breathing heavily, Major-General Gudz was making his way towards Mostovskoy. He shuffled along, wheezing and sticking out his lower lip; folds of loose skin rippled over his cheeks and neck. At one time he had been impressively stout, and these sounds and movements were all that remained; now they seemed quite bizarre. — Vasily Grossman

I'd like to lose enough weight so that my bones creaked louder than the floor — Stanley Victor Paskavich

I will fix America's obesity problems by taking all motorized transport away from fat people. In turn, I will build an infrastructure of Fat Tunnels, where all the fat people can walk. This will create jobs and subsequent weight loss. — Olivia Munn

I'm going on a diet. (Crud, I know)
I am going to be cranky.
I am going to be irritable.
I am going to be moody and sad and mean.
And, yes, I am going to be hungry.
Please don't feed me, even if I try to bite you.
Please don't tease me, I may hurt you.
Please don't try to encourage me, I may growl and snap at you.
Please don't help me, I may blame you for everything aggravating in the known universe.
Please don't be offended by my scowl, I cannot smile.
But most importantly, please keep your distance until this trial is over to prevent any unnecessary casualties.
Thank you for your understanding. — Richelle E. Goodrich