Water Heater Quotes & Sayings

We make our public servants jump through quite a few hoops, you know. We get hysterical if they accept a $50 lunch from a lobbyist. We get hysterical if they accept a ride on some corporate jet. — Christopher Buckley

It's astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex - trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can't imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it's that cut-and-dried, though of course it's not. Hugh might do the cooking, and actually wear an apron while he's at it, but he also chops the firewood, repairs the hot-water heater, and could tear off my arm with no more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion. — David Sedaris

Abolitionists believe that, as all men are born free, so all who are now held as slaves in this country were born free, and that they are slaves now is the sin, not of those who introduced the race into this country, but of those, and those alone, who now hold them and have held them in slavery from their birth. — Elijah Parish Lovejoy

The effective prayers are affirmations. — James Redfield

I stared at the thing, blinking, thinking it would reveal itself to be, I don't know, a hot-water heater or something. Then I realized the monster-shaped shadow was, surprisingly, a monster. — David Wong

You can be so much in a room that the world outside turns to water. You've got the heater blowing out burnt air, but you still don't get warm. Your ankles are singed, but your head's in a bucket of ice. Time drips like a stalactite. The water for the coffee boils away in a tree of steam. — Iain Sinclair

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake. — Bob Hope

She did an excellent job, dear. We have a new water heater now. A waterless water heater. I plan to examine it tomorrow."
"No!" his entire family said, making him jump.
Even the granddaughter on his lap looked up into his face and said with the solemn wisdom of a four-year-old, "Don't, Grandpa. — Shelly Laurenston

When I go on stage man I just want people to have fun, I don't want people to think about their problems, I want people to get energy and nutrition and food from that so they can go back into the real world and work on their problems. — Jon Fishman

There's a lady in Midtown who does amazing therapeutic massage."
"I don't need a massage."
"I can see if she gives happy endings."
"I might need a massage. — Tiffany Reisz

After age twenty-five, you're not a victim anymore - you're a volunteer. — Chip Kidd

Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?"
I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing.
"Maybe you should try sitting on the intensity," Mom suggests, "just until your feelings catch up with reality."
"We could chain you to the water heater," Dad offers, "until these little moments pass."
You see what I'm up against. — Joan Bauer

Alice interrupted. No tears, no secrets. I want the life I'm meant to have, Etta. It's as simple as that. My father always says that the way to truly live is to do so without expectations or fear hanging over you, affecting your choices ... — Alexandra Bracken

Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear the day their parents kill. My mum killed a guy, at my wedding. So I can pretty much check that off. But, she's my mum. And no matter what she did I just can't walk away from her. She gave me birth. She gave me love. She gave me the ability to make a cigarette fire look like it was started by the hot water heater. — Christopher Titus

It's a very odd feeling for a daughter to see her mother blush over a man."
"You wouldn't?" Alan skimmed a thumb over her cheekbone. Shelby forgot her mother altogether.
"Wouldn't what?"
"Blush," he said softly, tracing her jawline. "Over a man."
"Once-I was twelve and he was thirty-two." She had to talk-just keep talking to remember who she was. "He,uh, came to fix the water heater."
"How'd he make you blush?"
"He grinned at me.He had a chipped tooth I thought was really sexy."
On a quick ripple of laughter, Alan kissed her just as Myra opened the door.
"Well,well." She didn't bother to disguise a self-satisfied smile. "Good evening.I see you two have met."
"What makes you think that?" Shelby countered breezily as she stepped inside.
Myra glanced from one to the other. "Do I smell strawberries?" she asked sweetly.
"Your lamp." Shelby gave her a bland look and indicated the box Alan carried. "Where would you like it? — Nora Roberts

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it. — Tina Fey

There was no stopping us now. We had running water, a heater, a cooker and a road. We were fast becoming slaves again to all the things we had come to this benighted spot to flee. — Chris Stewart

The point is that, whenever we propose a solution to a problem, we ought to try as hard as we can to overthrow our solution, rather than defend it. Few of us, unfortunately, practice this precept; but other people, fortunately, will supply the criticism for us if we fail to supply it ourselves. — Karl Popper

When you hire a plumber because no hot water is coming out of the kitchen sink faucet, you need to go to the water heater, not the faucet. — Joe Wurzelbacher

The sentences I write have their roots in song and poetry, and take their bearings from music and painting, as much as from the need to impart mere information, or mirror anything. I am not a realist writer, even if I seem like one. — Colm Toibin

In the year 2000, the solar water heater behind me, which is being dedicated today, will still be here supplying cheap, efficient energy. A generation from now, this solar heater can either be a curiosity, a museum piece, an example of a road not taken, or it can be just a small part of one of the greatest and most exciting adventures ever undertaken by the American people: harnessing the power of the Sun to enrich our lives as we move away from our crippling dependence on foreign oil. — Jimmy Carter

I'm not always interested in Hollywood norms and boy-next-door kind of characters. — Kelly Masterson

We want to change the world, but we aren't willing to change ourselves. — Christine Caine

That comes too late that comes for the asking. — Seneca The Younger

Oi, doll, ignore him,' said Sia, using a notebook to fan her face. 'Sweet lord, I'm like a human hot-water bottle wrapped in doona in front of a heater at the moment. And did I tell you about the constant farting? — Gabrielle Tozer

While that wasn't first and foremost in my mind, you can't get into this without being struck, on one side, by how far we've come, and then the other side, by how little things have changed. — Bill Condon

What we call evil, it seems to me, is simply ignorance bumping its head in the dark. — Henry Ford

Live in Today.
Live for Eternity. — Rick Talley