W C Fields Drinking Quotes & Sayings

We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky. — W.C. Fields

Understand, you wretched of the earth, we should strive to improve what we can. Here. Right here, in Moldova. We can clean our own houses; fix our own roads. We can trim our own shrubs and works the fields. We can stop gossiping, drinking and loafing. We can become kinder, more patient, more tender with each other. We can stop ripping pages out of library books and spitting on a cleanly swept floor. Quit deceiving. Start living honest lives. Italy- the real Italy- is in us ourselves! — Vladimir Lorchenkov

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache. — W.C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves ... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months. — W.C. Fields

How then does light return to the world after the eclipse of the sun? Miraculously. Frailly. In thin stripes. It hangs like a glass cage. It is a hoop to be fractured by a tiny jar. There is a spark there. Next moment a flush of dun. Then a vapour as if earth were breathing in and out, once, twice, for the first time. Then under the dullness someone walks with a green light. Then off twists a white wraith. The woods throb blue and green, and gradually the fields drink in red, gold, brown. Suddenly a river snatches a blue light. The earth absorbs colour like a sponge slowly drinking water. It puts on weight; rounds itself; hangs pendent; settles and swings beneath our feet. — Virginia Woolf

Have you heard of the illness hysteria siberiana? Try to imagine this: You're a farmer, living all alone on the Siberian tundra. Day after day you plow your fields. As far as the eye can see, nothing. To the north, the horizon, to the east, the horizon, to the south, to the west, more of the same. Every morning, when the sun rises in the east, you go out to work in your fields. When it's directly overhead, you take a break for lunch. When it sinks in the west, you go home to sleep. And then one day, something inside you dies. Day after day you watch the sun rise in the east, pass across the sky, then sink in the west, and something breaks inside you and dies. You toss your plow aside and, your head completely empty of thought, begin walking toward the west. Heading toward a land that lies west of the sun. Like someone, possessed, you walk on, day after day, not eating or drinking, until you collapse on the ground and die. That's hysteria siberiana. — Haruki Murakami

Ascend beyond the sickly atmosphere
to a higher plane, and purify yourself
by drinking as if it were ambrosia
the fire that fills and fuels Emptiness.
Free from the futile strivings and the cares
which dim existence to a realm of mist,
happy is he who wings an upward way
on mighty pinions to the fields of light;
whose thoughts like larks spontaneously rise
into the morning sky; whose flight, unchecked,
outreaches life and readily comprehends
the language of flowers and of all mute things. — Charles Baudelaire

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. — W.C. Fields

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments. — W.C. Fields

Having a mood disorder is not synonymous with having artistic talent, but it is true that people in the so-called creative professions-writers, actors, artists, musicians-have a higher than normal incidence of such illnesses, and there are also a disproportionate number of alcoholics in these fields whose drinking may be an attempt to medicate the anxiety of depression. — Tracy Thompson

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. — W.C. Fields

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. — W.C. Fields

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. — W.C. Fields

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin. — W.C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. — W.C. Fields

I became alcoholic at around age of 13 or 14. I was full-blown. Every day we would hide the alcohol, stealing from stores or stealing it from our parents and hiding out in dirt fields and drinking it before school and after school. — Reginald Arvizu

Candleford Green was but a small village and there were fields and meadows and woods all around it. As soon as Laura crossed the doorstep, she could see some of these. But mere seeing from a distance did not satisfy her; she longed to go alone far into the fields and hear the birds singing, the brooks tinkling, and the wind rustling through the corn, as she had when a child. To smell things and touch things, warm earth and flowers and grasses, and to stand and gaze where no one could see her, drinking it all in. — Flora Thompson

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth. — W.C. Fields

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — W.C. Fields

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. — W.C. Fields

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. — W.C. Fields

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days. — W.C. Fields

Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy. — W.C. Fields

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. — W.C. Fields

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol. — W.C. Fields

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W.C. Fields

Atrazine - a herbicide often used on corn fields, golf courses and even lawns - has become one of the most common contaminants in American drinking water. — Charles Duhigg

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice! — W.C. Fields

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason — W.C. Fields

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. — W.C. Fields

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. — W.C. Fields

I never drink water ... fish f**k in it. — W.C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours. — W.C. Fields

According to St. Augustine, the left hand represented the temporal, the mortal, and the bodily, as opposed to the right, which stood for "God, eternity, the years of God which fail not."25 For centuries the preference for the right hand over the left governed how people fished, ploughed fields, twisted rope, and ate their meals. The Greeks and Romans, for example, always reclined on the left side, propped on the left elbow, leaving the right hand free for the business of eating and drinking. Plutarch noted that parents taught children to eat right-handed from a young age, and "if they do put forth the left hand, at once we correct them."26 The prejudice against the left hand persisted during the Renaissance, with parents freeing a child's right hand from its swaddling clothes to ensure right-handedness at the dinner table as well as at the writing desk. — Ross King

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either. — W.C. Fields

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. — W.C. Fields