W A C Quotes & Sayings

Life is simply a collection of memories, but memories are like star light ... They live on Forever. — C.W. McCall

If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields

I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand ... and besides, I know what I dealt him! — W.C. Fields

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it. — W.C. Fields

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. — W.C. Fields

Sin is lawlessness and constitutes the doer thereof a rebel against the righteous rule of His sovereign Lord. — C.F.W. Walther

By the eighteenth century many were showing all the negative conservatism of a vested interest overtaken by events: dogged devotion to old techniques, suspicion of innovation, resentment of competition and xenophobia. — Timothy C.W. Blanning

In God, holiness and righteousness are the characteristics of the one Sublime, Sovereign Being, to whom no one can issue a command or lay down a law. In — C.F.W. Walther

I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home. — W.C. Fields

I enjoyed biology in high school, and that brought me to a research lab at U.C. Santa Barbara. I loved doing experiments, and I had fun with them. I realized this kind of problem-solving fit my intellectual style. — Carol W. Greider

When setting out on a photographic holiday, always provide yourself with two cameras, one to leave in the train going and the other to leave in the cab coming back. — W.C. Sellar

To them it was a holy crusade; not just a right, but a veritable duty, no less than an obeisance to God's commandment. — C.W. Lovatt

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. — W.C. Fields

What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an ax. — W.C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. — W.C. Fields

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards. — W.C. Fields

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town. — W.C. Fields

By its durability this settlement proved that conservative liberty is an oxymoron, not a contradiction in terms. — Timothy C.W. Blanning

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. — W.C. Fields

How could one comfort a disturbed person? He is already assailed with doubts about his faith. He would have to despair with such a doctrine. Rather one must seek to convince him that the Savior is there for him, has already forgiven him, and has already accepted him. As soon as one makes faith even in the least a requirement for justification, one takes from such a person all the comfort of the Gospel. — C.F.W. Walther

My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw. — W.C. Fields

The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents. — W.C. Fields

The best thing to break is a contract. — W.C. Fields

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother. — W.C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast. — W.C. Fields

I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically. — W.C. Fields

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose
to make people laugh. — W.C. Fields

If the teaching of Christ were a law, it would not be a gospel {glad tiding}, but a sad tiding. — C.F.W. Walther

No reasonable man, much less a Christian, can or should take part in the efforts of Communists and Socialists — C.F.W. Walther

First I went to C.W. Post and I was a psychology and theater major and then I transferred to NYU's Tisch School of the Arts as a drama major. — John Leguizamo

The world and those who dwell therein, 2 for he has w founded it upon x the seas and established it upon the rivers. 3 y Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his z holy place? 4 a He who has b clean hands and c a pure heart, who does not d lift up his soul to e what is false and does not swear deceitfully. 5 He will receive f blessing from the LORD and g righteousness from h the God of his salvation. 6 Such is i the generation of those who seek him, who j seek the face of the God of Jacob. [2] Selah 7 k Lift up your heads, O gates! And be lifted up, O ancient — Anonymous

I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine — W.C. Fields

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. — W.C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money — W.C. Fields

N-O-W-A-C-K."
"No C."
"Oh. Okay. N-O-W-A-C. — Marshall Thornton

3But p sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness q must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4Let there be r no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, s which are out of place, but instead t let there be thanksgiving. 5For you may be sure of this, that u everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous ( v that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 w Let no one x deceive you with empty words, for because of these things y the wrath of God comes upon z the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore a do not become partners with them; 8for b at one time you were c darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. d Walk as children of light 9(for e the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10and f try to discern — Anonymous

The Gospel does not say, "you must do good works." Rather, it fashions us into human beings, into creatures who cannot help serve God and fellow human beings. Without a doubt, a precious effect! — C.F.W. Walther

C.-C.: Tell me frankly, Kitty, don't you think people make a lot of unnecessary fuss about love?
LADY KITTY: It's the most wonderful thing in the world.
C.-C.: You're incorrigible. Do you really think it was worth sacrificing so much for?
LADY KITTY: My dear Clive, I don't mind telling you that if I had my time over again I should be unfaithful to you, but I should not leave you. — W. Somerset Maugham

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. — W.C. Fields

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. — W.C. Fields

The first letter was a "w," the second an "e." Then there was a gap. An "a" followed, then a "p," an "o," and an "l." Marvin paused for a rest. After a few moments they resumed and let him see the "o," the "g," the "i," the "z," and the "e." The next two words were "for" and "the." The last one was a long one, and Marvin needed another rest before he could tackle it. It started with "i," then "n," then "c." Next came an "o" and an "n," followed by a "v," an "e," another "n," and an "i." After a final pause, Marvin gathered his strength for the last stretch. He read the "e," the "n," the "c," and at last the final "e," and staggered back into their arms. — Douglas Adams

You may come as a proud prince today young Habsburg. But you shall travel many more roads in Castile in death than you ever will in life — C.W. Gortner

One day when George III was insane he heard that the Americans never had afternoon tea. This mace him very obstinate and he invited them all to a compulsory tea-party at Boston: the Americans, however, started pouring the tea into Boston harbour and went on pouring things into Boston harbour until they were quite Independent, thus causing the United States. — W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman

The saying is v trustworthy: If anyone aspires to w the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2Therefore x an overseer [1] must be above reproach, y the husband of one wife, [2] z sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, a hospitable, b able to teach, 3not a drunkard, not violent but c gentle, not quarrelsome, d not a lover of money. — Anonymous

Cordone, delighted with himself for swindling the gullible Indians out of a fortune in pearls, stood at the railing of his ship smiling down at the pursuers. He was about to order his soldiers to fire upon the Indians when he was struck in the chest by an arrow. He dropped to the deck. — W.C. Jameson

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. — W.C. Fields

Everyone has secret.
Like the oyster with its grain of sand, we bury it deep within, coating it with opalescent layers, as if that could heal our mortal wound. Some of us devote our entire lives to keeping our secret hidden, safe from those who might pry it from us, hoarding it like the pearl, only to discover that it escapes us when we least expect it. revealed by a flash of fear in our eyes when caught unawares, by a sudden pain, a rage or hatred, or an all-consuming shame. — C.W. Gortner

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night — W.C. Fields

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. — W.C. Fields

A good marriage is really good after serving together in Washington, D.C. — George W. Bush

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. — W.C. Fields

Between my first book tour, in 2003, and the next one, in 2009, many of the places I visited had undergone a significant transformation or vanished: Cody's in Berkeley, seven branch libraries in Philadelphia, twelve of the fourteen bookstores in Harvard Square, Harry W. Schwartz in Milwaukee and, in my own hometown of Washington, D.C., Olsson's and Chapters. — Azar Nafisi

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. — W.C. Fields

Test the Spirits 1 JOHN 4 Beloved, t do not believe every spirit, but u test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for v many w false prophets x have gone out into the world. 2By this you know the Spirit of God: y every spirit that confesses that z Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3and every spirit a that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and b now is in the world already. 4Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for c he who is in you is greater than d he who is in the world. 5 e They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and f the world listens to them. 6We are from God. g Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know h the Spirit of truth and i the spirit of error. — Anonymous

32And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that w he is one, and a there is no other besides him. 33And to love him with all the heart and with all b the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, c is much more than all d whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." 34And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God. — Anonymous

...according to God's Word, we should not give a singe drop of evangelical consolation to those who are still living in sin. ON THE OTHER HAND, we should not address the slightest threat or rebuke to the broken hearted--but only promises delivering consolation and grace, forgiveness of sin and righteousness. Life and salvation. — C.F.W. Walther

Even a bad review is still a review. It means someone cared enough to take the time to say: Hey, this sucks. Don't bother. Buy a DVD instead ... Yes, someone cared. And isn't that what every writer dreams of? ... So, how did I deal with bad reviews? How else? I cry. I get mad. I pretend not to care. Then I pour myself a glass of wine and call a friend to complain. — C.W. Gortner

Drowned in a vat of whiskey ... Oh Death, where is thy sting? — W.C. Fields

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason — W.C. Fields

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. — W.C. Fields

Know what I think?" said Perry. "I think there must be something wrong with
us. To do what we did."'
"Did what?"
"Out there."
Dick dropped the binoculars into a leather case, a luxurious receptacle initialed
H. W. C. He was annoyed. Annoyed as hell. Why the hell couldn't Perry shut up? Christ
Jesus, what damn good did it do, always dragging the goddam thing up? It really was
annoying. Especially since they'd agreed, sort of, not to talk about the goddam thing.
Just forget it.
"There's got to be something wrong with somebody who'd do a thing like that,"
Perry said.
"Deal me out, baby," Dick said. "I'm a normal." And Dick meant what he said.
He thought himself as balanced, as sane as anyone - maybe a bit smarter than the
average fellow, that's all. But Perry - there was, in Dick's opinion, "something wrong"
with Little Perry. — Truman Capote

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. — W.C. Fields

A person is either a Christian or not; there is no in between state — C.F.W. Walther

I care for you, darling, I love you,
the only reason I fucked L. is because you fucked
Z. and then I fucked R. and you fucked N.
and because you fucked N. I had to fuck
Y. But I think of you constantly, I feel you
here in my belly like a baby, love I'd call it,
no matter what happens I'd call it love, and so
you fucked C. and then before I could move
you fucked W., so I had to fuck D. But
I want you to know that I love you, I think of you
constantly, I don't think I've ever loved anybody
like I love you. — Charles Bukowski

Because life is a symphony it must have its C Minor. Days there be when we hear only a discord of sharps and flats, and we wonder whether harmony will ever be restored. On other days we hear only an ominous, deep strain which seems to say that hope is fled. But why this chill despair? Symphonies are a blending of many tones, high and low, over and under, major and minor. One day cannot make a life a whole any more than shadows can make a picture or minor notes a symphony. We need to hear life's song, not as the discord of a single day, but as the completed harmony of all the years. Then will today's sorrow and tomorrow's disappointment ring forth in major key as glorious melody. — W. Waldemar W. Argow

Archaeology, I found, comprehended all manner of excitement and achievement. Adventure is coupled with bookish toil. Romantic excursions go hand in hand with scholarly self-discipline and moderation. Explorations among the ruins of the remote past have carried curious men all over the face of the earth ... Yet in truth, no science is more adventurous than archaeology, if adventure is thought of as a mixture of spirit and deed. — C. W. Ceram

He had a W.C. Fields twang and a nose like a prize strawberry. — Kurt Vonnegut

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously. — W.C. Fields

A true Lutheran relies on God's Word and would not worry about it even if the whole world mocked and despised him for it. He does not consider the world an authority in religious matters. He rests his faith on higher authority: — C.F.W. Walther

Never give a sucker an even break. — W.C. Fields

I am sure no other civilization, not even the Romans, has showed such a vast proportion of ignominious and degraded nudity, and ugly, squalid dirty sex. Because no other civilization has driven sex into the underworld, and nudity to the W.C. — D.H. Lawrence

Vedanta is the teaching of the Upanishads, a collection of dialogues, stories, and poems, some of which go back to at least 800 B.C. Sophisticated Hindus do not think of God as a special and separate super-person who rules the world from above, like a monarch. Their God is "underneath" rather than "above" everything, and he (or it) plays the world from inside. One might say that if religion is the opium of the people, the Hindus have the inside dope. What is more, no Hindu can realize that he is God in disguise without seeing at the same time that this is true of everyone and everything else. In the Vedanta philosophy, nothing exists except God. There seem to be other things than God, but only because he is dreaming them up and making them his disguises to play hide-and-seek with himself. — Alan W. Watts

Now we Democrats, well, we're all for higher taxes, right? But man do we hate to pay those taxes, and most of the politicians I worked for took advantage of every tax loophole they could find, and if they couldn't find it, they'd just legislate one out of thin air. That's the D.C. way. Tax policy is a means to buy votes, but at the end of the day, we all share in a mutual disdain for government. It's — D.W. Ulsterman

Justice is the alignment of societal laws with natural Law, and the righting of wrongs. Justice creates liberty. Justice maintains the character of love and can be said to be a product of right actions by a society. Things that are right promote the well-being of individual selves and societies. What is right can be said to always be just. If a society commits to justice by aligning societal laws with natural Law and respecting the rights of natural Law, then it will promote love through liberty. — C W Newman

It is better to give your path to a dog than to be bitten by him, contesting for the right. — C.W. Abe Lincoln

We commonly confuse love with the strong emotions most often associated with it, such as joy, attachment, lust, infatuation, pleasure, pain, fear, and hope, to name a few. But, love is not a feeling; love itself is an action. There are countless emotions and beliefs that can cause us to love. Love is the willing giving of self to another living being. Love is giving the life, time, energy, and resources that we would normally give or use for our self to someone else. Love is an action that enhances the well-being of another living being. — C W Newman

One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a-a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone. — George W. Bush

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind. — W.C. Fields

Joseph Campbell understood critical doctrines of Christianity as myth and maintained that understanding myth was a key to making sense of key doctrines of Christianity in any society, including a highly-technological one. C. S. Lewis understood myth as one means among many used by God to point people to His Son, Jesus Christ. — James W Menzies

It is statistically irrefutable that those American cities with stringent "gun control" (e.g. N.Y.C., D.C., Chicago, L.A.) have higher crime rates. It is also irrefutable that those 31 states which have made conceal carry of handguns easy for law-abiding citizens have correspondingly enjoyed significant drops in their crime rates. — Kenneth W. Royce

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. 'I'm looking for a loop-hole,' he explained. — W.C. Fields

When the Duke [W.J.C. Scott-Bentinck] died, his heirs found all of the aboveground rooms devoid of furnishings except for one chamber in the middle of which sat the Duke's commode. The main hall was mysteriously floor less. Most of the rooms were painted pink. The one upstairs room in which the Duke had resided was packed to the ceiling with hundreds of green boxes, each of which contained a single dark brown wig. This was, in short, a man worth getting to know. — Bill Bryson

Where are they all going? What for? Do they never hear the rhythm of the wheels or see the bare plains outside the windows? They know everything there is to know about this life, but they still move on along the corridor, from the W.C. to their compartment, from the lobby to the restaurant, gradually transforming today into one more yesterday, and they think that a God exists who will reward them or punish them for it. — Victor Pelevin

Far from merely being a larger England, the United States had become something quite different: an incubator of lost or diluted British freedoms. As the Liberty Bell was originally cast in England but rang out in America, so those guarantees of the 'rights, liberties, and immunities of free and natural-born subjects' have found their truest expression across the Atlantic. 'That rifle on the wall of the labourer's cottage or working class flat is the symbol of democracy,' wrote George Orwell in 1941. 'It is our job to see that it stays there.' In Britain and beyond, that rifle has long been taken away. England's bell has fallen silent. Americans would do well to ensure that the crack in theirs grows no larger. — Charles C.W. Cooke

THE CHRISTIAN ALPHABETS
A = AMEN
B = BAPTISM
C = CHRISTIAN
D = DISCIPLE
F = FELLOWSHIP
G = GOD
H = HOLY SPIRIT
I = INSPIRATION
J = JESUS CHRIST
K = KINGDOM
L = LOVE
M = MODERATION
N = NEW BIRTH
O = OBEDIENCE
P = PRAYER
Q = QUIET TIME
R = RIGHTEOUSNESS
S = SALVATION
T = TESTIMONY
U = UNDERSTANDING
V = VISION
W = WISDOM
X = XMAS
Y = YEA & AMEN
Z = ZION
BY : ADEWALE OSUNSAKIN — Osunsakin Adewale

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature ... no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike. — W.C. Fields

The main thing to tell a person when you explain how to become righteous is to announce to him for free grace of God, concealing nothing, saying none other than what God says in the Gospel. Build a fence around Mount Sinai, but not around Golgotha ,because at Golgotha all God's wrath was appeased. — C.F.W. Walther

Though I strived for spiritual and physical unity in all of Spain, I believed a truly great country, one that would endure for centuries, must be built on the foundation of a literate and well-rounded society. — C.W. Gortner

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks. — W.C. Fields

MATTHEW 18. t At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you u turn and v become like children, you w will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 x Whoever humbles himself like this child is the w greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 y "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6but z whoever causes one of these a little ones who believe in me to sin, [1] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Temptations to Sin 7"Woe to the world for b temptations to sin! [2] c For it is necessary that temptations come, d but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! — Anonymous

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death. — W.C. Fields

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse. — W.C. Fields

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies. — W.C. Fields

According to tradition, the originator of Taoism, Lao-tzu, was an older contemporary of Kung Fu-tzu, or Confucius, who died in 479 B.C.1 Lao-tzu is said to have been the author of the Tao Te Ching, a short book of aphorisms, setting forth the principles of the Tao and its power or virtue (Te e). But traditional Chinese philosophy ascribes both Taoism and Confucianism to a still earlier source, to a work which lies at the very foundation of Chinese thought and culture, dating anywhere from 3000 to 1200 B.C. This is the I Ching, or Book of Changes. — Alan W. Watts

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields

For this gospel I was appointed w a herald, apostle, and teacher, x 12 and that is why I suffer y these things. But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me C, z until that day. a — Anonymous

Never trust a man who doesn't drink. — W.C. Fields

Walk in Love EPHESIANS 5 j Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2And k walk in love, l as Christ loved us and m gave himself up for us, a n fragrant o offering and sacrifice to God. 3But p sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness q must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4Let there be r no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, s which are out of place, but instead t let there be thanksgiving. 5For you may be sure of this, that u everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous ( v that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 w Let no one x deceive you with empty words, for because of these things y the wrath of God comes upon z the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore a do not become partners with them; 8for b at one time you were c darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. d Walk as children of light — Anonymous

Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. — Milton Berle

If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it. — W.C. Fields