Vintage Humor Quotes & Sayings

Meanwhile you just lived on and there was nothing to it. She understood perfectly well why people had cocktail parties, and jazzed, and Charlestoned till they were ready to drop. You had to take it out some way or other, your youth, or it ate you up. But what a ghastly thing, this youth! You felt as old as Methuselah, and yet the thing fizzed somehow, and didn't let you be comfortable. A mean sort of life! And no prospect! She almost wished she had gone off with Mick, and made her life one long cocktail party, and jazz evening. Anyhow that was better than just mooning yourself into the grave. — D.H. Lawrence

... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines! — E.A. Bucchianeri

I'll email you, he says as if he's asking me into the cellar to taste his vintage champagne. — Poppet

Some guys have it real fucked up in prison, real hard. Some guys will be doing somebody's laundry. Some guys will be on their stomach with the pillow in their mouth, some guys will be getting stabbed. If you're a man on the streets and you eat well, you'll eat well in prison. It just might be different food. — Suge Knight

Love's language starts, stops, starts;
the right words flowing or clotting in the heart. — Carol Ann Duffy

And in your deranged mind, what do you think the lesson of 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears' is?" Alex challenged him. "Easy," Conner said. "Lock your doors! Robbers come in all shapes and sizes. Even curly-haired little girls can't be trusted." Alex grunted again and crossed her arms. — Chris Colfer

Unsophisticated'," he said, cracking himself up again, " 'but nubile'. Jesus, where do they get that
stuff? Nubile."
"Try to contain your hilarity." Sophia sat behind the desk in her office in the villa and continued to
study the models Kris had chosen for the ads. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd warn me the next time
you decide to add a mystery vintage to the selection."
"Last-minute candidate. And it was in the name of science. — Nora Roberts

We all were there for the readings, the screen tests, and we knew. We knew Dustin was the guy right away. — Buck Henry

One time, I came off stage and a guy named Roman Decare, God rest his soul, he was a comic. 'Louie, if you do that family stuff, and you're a clean comic on stage, you'll become famous.' And, for some reason, a switch clicked, and I started doing the family stuff, and it became a giant part of my life. — Louie Anderson

Classic of '43. Don't knock it. A Vintage year. — Keith Richards

I'm obsessed - not just interested, obsessed - with folk music, street music, the parallels between a country's street music and its so-called classical and intellectual music, the way certain scales have travelled right across the globe. All this ethnological and musical interaction fascinates me. Have you heard any trance music? That's the thing. — Jimmy Page

But it is not really necessary to look too far into the future; we see enough already to be certain that it will be magnificent. Only let us hurry and open the roads. — David McCullough

He cracked his crooked smile that made all women swoon except the ones who wanted to slap him. Faye was a fence-sitter on the subject. — Sarah Scheele

The tone of his remarks filled me with a burning desire to kick Mr. Horridge; but that being impracticable, I should certainly, if left to myself, have told him to go to the devil and forthwith walked out of the house. — R. Austin Freeman

Many in America, as one social historian wrote, 'believed implicitly that New York's social leaders went to bed in full evening dress, brushed their teeth in vintage champagne, married their daughters without exception to shady French counts, and arrayed their poodle dogs in diamond tiaras.' ... — Greg King

You deserve to die," I whisper, suddenly realizing Iv'e said the words aloud.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing."
"Not nothing. You just told me that I deserve to be maggot feed."
"Not maggot feed, just-"
"Dead!"
"Forget it" "I don't know why I said that. Just daydreaming, I guess."
"Daydreaming about my death?"
"Forget it", I repeat.
"Are you sure you aren't still mad that I wouldn't let you borrow my vintage fishnet leggings?"
"More like I didn't want to borrow them, — Laurie Faria Stolarz

I was watching a collection of vintage '80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes. — Ernest Cline

Ed frowned. "Well, it's a terrible picture of me! Here, give me that. I'm going to tear it up. There ought to be legal action against publishing a bad picture like that without my permission . . . ."

A wild scuffle ensued as they tried to keep Ed from destroying the article before they could read it. — Sarah Scheele

And I'd have you know, through all of it, I still had perfect nails! Because I am completely swell. — Sarah Scheele

This is nice,' Melody said, picking up a red leather box with a vintage watch inside.
'Yes, it is nice. It's the watch I gave Walker as a wedding gift.'
'He gave it back?'
'Actually, he sold it back to the person I bought it from who alerted me and I reacquired it.'
'I'm sorry. That sounds upsetting.'
'It was. Very. Especially since he sold the watch to buy combs for my long hair and without knowing what he had done I sold my hair to buy a leather case for this watch. — Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney

Abraham Lincoln was often criticized for trying to make friends with his enemies instead of trying to get rid of them. He replied, Isn't that what I'm doing when I make an enemy a friend? — Sean Covey

When I tried to access one of the other entertainment libraries, Vintage Movies, the system informed me that I wouldn't be granted access to a wider selection of entertainment options until I had received an above-average rating in three consecutive employee performance reviews. Then the system asked me if I wanted more information on the Indentured Employee Entertainment Reward Program. I didn't. — Ernest Cline

I get cyber-bullied all of the time. Everybody has something negative to say. It is so hurtful. So I think that it is really important for kids to know how to deal with it correctly because it can be a really dangerous situation. — Sammi Hanratty

Moments later as we crossed the road to the 50's diner, I recited the restaurant rules in my head one more time.

Rule one: Keep your hands clean.
Rule two: Careful with the food trays.
Rule three: Visit the soda fountain as often as you like, but don't make yourself sick.
Rule four: Enjoy the poodle skirt. — Kate Willis