Quotes & Sayings About Viagra

You get my point now? Coz before I thought you missed it. I'ma viagra triple shot, you just a limp bizkit. WORD LIFE. — John Cena

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant

Viagra, Valtrex, Valium... you fuck enough strangers, you're taking a blue pill with a "V" on it. — Tyler Knight

This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra. — David Letterman

There's no magazine you open, unless its AARP, that shows a woman over the age of 45 in any other light, other than having to buy Depends or Viagra. — Doris Roberts

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am? — Jimmy Carr

Surely the people naming antipsychotics could have come up with something less hurtful. After all, we don't call Viagra the "floppy-dick pill" and hardly any of us refer to anger-management therapy as "maybe-just-stop-being-such-an-asshole class." I honestly can't think of any drug that has more of a stigma than antipsychotics. — Jenny Lawson

Oh, I can picture myself rattling along Route 66 on that thing, headphones on, singing along to ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man' or the opening line from 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf - 'Get your motor running ... ' The trike brings out that in all of us, which is no bad thing. Forget Viagra, get yourself a trike! — Billy Connolly

There's an impotency Viagra can't touch - the inability of a man to speak ... — John Geddes

Measuring national prestige by gold medals is like using Viagra to judge the potency of a man. — Ai Weiwei

That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information."
"Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system? — Christopher Moore

Using Viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. — Harvey Korman

Ecause when medical marijuana is fully accepted for what it is, we will see a phenomenon that makes Viagra's phenomenon seem limp. — Peter McWilliams

The discovery of Viagra was a similar story. Initially, the drug had been tested as a treatment for chest pain (angina), and for that purpose it was a failure. Then patients started reporting a curious side effect. (Imagine those awkward conversations: "Doc, my chest still hurts ... but, um, I've been noticing an effect somewhere else ... ") — Chip Heath

Dan, rabbits who've been fed oysters laced with Viagra don't like sex as much as you do. — Matt Dunn

In a nation committed to better living through chemistry - where Viagra-enabled men pursue silicone-contoured women - the national pastime has a problem of illicit chemical enhancement. Steroids threaten the health of the 5 percent to 7 percent of players proved, by a mild regime of scheduled tests, to be using them. Steroids also endanger emulative young people. Further, steroids subvert what baseball is selling - fair competition. And they strike at the pleasure of engagement with America's team sport with the longest history. — George Will

Female Viagra has been around for years ... it's called money. — Ziad K. Abdelnour

My your balls wither away and you develop and allergy to Viagra and all it's counter-parts
(Sophie to Royd) — Iris Johansen

There's no such thing as free love. Have you seen the price of Viagra? — Dolly Parton

denying his cock wasn't an option: When he'd backed off a couple months ago as a test pattern, within twelve hours he'd been ready to fuck a tree, he was so horny. Was there any such thing as anti-Viagra? Cialis Reversailis? Limpicillin? Rolling — J.R. Ward

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly. — Jimmy Carr

I'm human viagra. I'm Willagra. I'm a sex machine now. I'm raring to go every second of the day. My wife's loving it. (On the change in his body that Ali's intense physical training required) — Will Smith

Why not?" He sounds resigned. "Might as well fly into the heart of the enemy where the primitive natives can tear me to pieces, sell my body parts for money, and grind the rest to be consumed in teas for sexual potency." I tighten my arms around his neck. "We're not that primitive anymore." He arches his perfect eyebrow at me, sending waves of skepticism. "We have Viagra now." He gives me a sideways glance — Susan Ee

Yes, but I've already made my fortune in other things. (Solin)
Such as? (Geary)
Viagra. My brother learned to take a personal problem and profit by it. (Arik)
It's true. It pained me to see a man as young as Arik stricken with impotency. Therefore I had to do something to help the poor soul. But alas, there's nothing to be done for it. He's as flaccid as a wet noodle. (Solin)
How creative of you to project your problem onto me. But then, they say celibacy is enough to make a man lose all reason. Guess you're living proof, huh? (Arik) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Connor turned to Vanda. "I'll need to check yer bag, too."
"I thought you'd never ask." Vanda tossed her bag onto the table. She was ready for him this time.
He opened her silver evening bag. His eyes widened.
She was quite proud that she'd managed to squeeze a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, her back massager, and a bottle of Viagra
into such a tiny handbag. She smiled sweetly. "Something wrong, Connor? — Kerrelyn Sparks

Are you serious? What the hell does a stunt double do in a porno flick?"
Jake waved a hand vaguely toward his belt. "Extreme close-ups."
"Uh. What?"
"Historically speaking, it doesn't happen often. Especially what with Viagra now. But it isn't unknown for a director to bring in a double for the close of a scene, if the actor is having trouble finishing."
I blinked. "He thought I was a stunt penis?"
Jake laughed at my reaction. "Man. You are new. — Jim Butcher

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers. — Russell Howard

THERE'S ONLY ONE problem with L.A. It exists. L.A. is what happens when a bunch of Lovecraftian elder gods and porn starlets spend a weekend locked up in the Chateau Marmont snorting lines of crank off Jim Morrison's bones. If the Viagra and illegal Traci Lords videos don't get you going, then the Japanese tentacle porn will. — Richard Kadrey

He'd also gotten close to Prophet, moving next to him to get the right angle on the cast, his hip brushing Prophet's cock. And now his own had a more pressing need than covering up phone numbers. The light dappled across Prophet's face. He looked more relaxed, less on guard than he'd ever been. But somehow still lethal. Always lethal. Prophet turned onto his back, arms over his head again, casts sprawled on the pillow. Tom's erection nudged Prophet's thigh as he thought about Prophet tied up, and Prophet shook his head. "Did you take Viagra instead of migraine meds?" "Maybe," Tom murmured, wrapped a hand around Prophet's cock, which was hard again too. — S.E. Jakes

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own. — Jay Leno

Viagra isn't the only drug being prescribed off-label for women with arousal problems. Los Angeles urologist Jennifer Berman told me some doctors are prescribing low doses of Ritalin. Drugs like Ritalin improve a person's focus, so it stands to reason that it would make it easier to stay attuned to subtle changes taking place in one's body. 'It enables a woman to focus o the task at hand,' said Berman, managing, though surely not intending, to make sex sound like homework. — Mary Roach

If the principal smokers of cocaine were affluent older white men and the principal users of Viagra were young black men, using Viagra would land you time behind bars. — Ethan Nadelmann

I think that in our society we should do everything to encourage child-bearing and family-making. And I think that if insurance will cover Viagra for men, it should also be covering these kinds of methods to try to build families. — Joan Lunden

Variety is not everything! Viagra is! — Tiger Woods

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. — Rodney Dangerfield

Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra. — Emma Chase

REQUIRED TO TAKE A COMBINATION OF GINKGO AND VIAGRA, SO YOU CAN REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING. — Linda Howard

Rock guys were Viagra for my soul. — Nicky Wells

It is an extraordinary fact but a true one that there are thousands of men in Britain who will never need Viagra as long as steam trains are in operation. — Bill Bryson

She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. "May your balls wither away and you develope an allergy to Viagra and all its counterparts."
He looked at her, stunned. And then he suddenly exploded into laughter.
"God, you're a formidable woman"
"No, I'm not. I'm soft, remember?"
She slammed the door behind her. — Iris Johansen

Hell, I'm practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight. — A.T. Hicks

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife." — Frank Carson

We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra ... — Chuck Palahniuk

Viagra is a drug, just like cocaine. It can cause you to become addicted. — Jackie Collins

I've always said, 'If you need Viagra, you're probably with the wrong girl.' — Donald Trump

Since when did the scent of a woman make him throw wood the instant it reached his nose? Since when did a woman's hair color make him feel as if he'd just freebased a bowl of Viagra? — Anonymous

Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex. — Tim Reid

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off? — Margaret Cho

You're just a big softy," he taunted. "The last person said that to me got Viagra in his coffee next morning," Ty warned seriously. — Madeleine Urban

The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of his missiles seem to launch. — Jay Leno

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. — Jack Nicholson

Sex and commerce are fine things, but man cannot live by Viagra and the Dow Jones alone. A life led collecting things and experiences in pursuit of happiness is not necessarily a bad life, but it's not a good life either. Too often, the Democrats act like the Party of Lust, and the Republicans the Party of Greed. Both are deadly sins that eat at the soul. — Rod Dreher

Although he was a young and virile man at 37, he was not inexhaustible. In addition to food and drink, he had better lay in a couple thousand tablets of viagra. The drug would probably remain potent if he vacuum packed the pills in groups of 10 and kept them in a freezer. That would work unless civilization completely collapsed and power companies were unable to function. Fortunately, Jim had a propane-powered backup generator with half a dozen tanks of fuel already on hand. If Henry added to the propane supply, and he used the generator only for essential maintenance like keeping the viagra freezer operating in warm weather, he would be happy here on the farm for a looong, looong time. Unless, even now, dead Jim was out there in the generator shed sabotaging the machinery. — Dean Koontz

You suffer when you give birth, it doesn't matter, it's nature. They tell you, oh, those hormone pills, they're terrible, you'll get cancer. But when it comes to Viagra for men, they don't speak about cancer. — Jeanne Moreau

Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods ... a few seconds after he took Viagra. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but emails about low-cost funerals and Viagra. — David Letterman

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra. — Zach Braff

Stop stalling and spill the beans. What's up?"

Alexi tossed down her fork and leaned in close so no one else could possibly hear. "What's not up? We're like rabbits on Viagra. — Jennifer Saints

Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of these computers an entire day to send an email to the other one, which would immediately delete it, because it was a Viagra ad. — Dave Barry

I just about prevent myself from laughing, but the information that coffee is basically faery Viagra just totally took the wind out of my sails. — Liz De Jager

Democracy in China is like Viagra; no such thing as free elections. — George Montgomery

Abracadabra, I'm up like Viagra. — Lil' Wayne

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it. — Jay Leno

If a chemical drug like Viagra is accepted by society and by the world to ignite desire, then what is the problem with my audio-visual drug called cinema which ignites desire? Both are basically doing the same thing! — Mallika Sherawat

Your blood reveal your most intimate secrets. Are you dying of leukimia or AIDS? Did you smoke cigarette or drink a glass of wine in the last few hours? Are you prozac because you're depressed, or Viagra because you can't get it up? — Tess Gerritsen

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years ... it's called cash. — Alonzo Bodden

I am not overlooking any mail. I'm looking at all of it. I even wrote back to the Viagra people. — Randy Newman

To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride. — Rodney Dangerfield

Sex can be great in your seventies - no Viagra needed - and it certainly beats fish and chips. — Paul Daniels

My favorite Viagra ad, a Spanish-language print ad I saw some years ago, simply shows an image of the distinctive blue pill with the text "Un divorcio menos. Gracias, Pfizer." ("One less divorce. Thanks, Pfizer.") — Hanne Blank

The Internet is the Viagra of big business. — Jack Welch

I love Viagra. I don't need it, but I tried it. It's a great legal drug. — Kenny Rogers

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life. — Joan Rivers

I know that
On the store there is real
And fake

Viagra.... both can kill youx don't worry about that problem. — Deyth Banger

The Clinton presidency has at last stumbled on its rendezvous with history: While Ronald Reagan and George Bush presided over the fall of Communism, Mr. Clinton presides over the rise of Viagra. It may not be true that any young boy can grow up to be president. But at least, thanks to Viagra, any young boy can grow up to be this president. — Mark Steyn

Do you respond to every e-mail you get, Becky?" Luke turns, incredulous. "Do you have a fine selection of Viagra substitutes too? — Sophie Kinsella

Wow! My partnerships are multiplying like bunnies on Viagra. — Darynda Jones

I think religion for many people is some sort of moral viagra. — Daniel Dennett

Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many. — Anthony Jeselnik

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good. — Robin Williams

There's always something new with sex. We lived in a world without Viagra, now we live in a world with Viagra. We lived in a world without blowjobs and anilingus in the Oval Office, and then it happens and you get to write about it. We live in a world where now the government is screwing with contraception and holding back vaccines that could save 4,000 women's lives a year, and you get to write about that. It's not as much fun as anilingus in the Oval Office, but what are you going to do? If you pay attention, there's always something new, and it's always really invigorating. — Dan Savage

I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis.
Election, erection, election, erection!
Either way we're screwed! — Bette Midler