Very Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings

I'm working! What are you doing? Besides being...
Being what?
Wait a minute...
Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British?
It's an animal.
Where?
No, the word!
Still you have to admit, I am... very British. I don't say hard R's.
You know what I like? Brown sauce. What's it made of? Science doesn't know!
It's made of brown.
Brown. Mined from the earth by the hardscrabble brown miners of North Brownderton.
Oh, my God. I find lentils completely incomprehensible. What the sun-dappled hell is Echo doing at Fremont?
That's got nothing to do with the drug, which means our problems are huge and indomitable.
Ooh. I could eat that word. Or a crisp. Do you have any crisps?
You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches? C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
Oh my god, I'm having such a terrible day. — Joss Whedon

People are totally overusing LOL and a wink - and I'm very guilty of using the wink - that's probably my favourite emoticon to use because 'I'm being sarcastic, don't misinterpret; don't misconstrue; I'm just kidding.' Again, for as many benefits as it has, also picking up the phone and having a conversation speaks volumes. — Carly Pope

I don't fancy myself as a very sarcastic person in real life. — Reggie Lee

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes. — Emily Deschanel

I can be very dry and sarcastic. — Hayden Panettiere

My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood. — Paula Danziger

He has inhibited discussion by designating admonition as the method of dealing with a heretic- and the first method, too, because he is not a Christian. This is so that he would not seem to require correction again and again and before two or three witnesses as though he were a Christian. He ought to be corrected for the very reason that he is not to be disputed with. In addition, this is said because a controversy over the Scriptures can, clearly, produce no other effect than help to upset either the stomach or the brain. — Tertullian

I'm very bubbly, so when people meet me, they sometimes think I'm fake. I'm excited to meet new people, but I guess I sound like I'm being sarcastic. — Lyndsy Fonseca

And I'll wager you thought him the handsomest thing that ever you saw in your life."

"I did. And if you stuck him, and stuffed him, and hung him on the wall, I'd be very glad to admire him. But in life he's an arrogant pig, and I didn't care for him at all. 'Mind who you look at, wench.' Foo! — Diane Stanley

Let's say that your significant other has been paying less and less attention to you. You realize he or she has a busy job, but you still would like more time together. You drop a few hints about the issue, but your loved one doesn't handle it well. You decide not to put on added pressure, so you clam up. Of course, since you're not all that happy with the arrangement, your displeasure now comes out through an occasional sarcastic remark. "Another late night, huh? I've got Facebook friends I see more often." Unfortunately (and here's where the problem becomes self-defeating), the more you snip and snap, the less your loved one wants to be around you. So your significant other spends even less time with you, you become even more upset, and the spiral continues. Your behavior is now actually creating the very thing you didn't want in the first place. You're caught in an unhealthy, self-defeating loop. — Kerry Patterson

You have sensible women here [in England] but then, they are very devils
censorious, uncharitable, sarcastic
the women in Scotland have twice
thrice their freedom, with all their virtue
and are very conversable and agreeable
their educations are more finished. — Fanny Burney

He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously. — Oliver Goldsmith

I was very bored at school. I found it very easy and slow and grey. My teachers didn't really know how to handle me, because I was very sarcastic. I was over-confident, arrogant, a typical youngest child. I went through periods of withdrawing into myself and school psychologists tried to figure me out, work out why I didn't fit in. I found that irritating, too. — Carlos Ruiz Zafon

One of my friends compared me to Bruce Banner, due to my work with radiation and human health. So I looked up Bruce Banner and this is what I found: Banner, a physicist, is sarcastic and seemingly very self-assured when he first appears in Incredible Hulk #1, but is also emotionally withdrawn in most fashions ... Banner is considered one of the greatest scientific minds on Earth, possessing "a mind so brilliant it cannot be measured on any known intelligence test." He holds expertise in biology, chemistry, engineering, physiology, and nuclear physics. — Steven Magee

I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor ... My brothers and sisters are very quick, intense, brilliant, very sarcastic people. And they were always right there with you, right there, missing not one little throat clearing. — Mary Robison

I played a lot of sarcastic, wisecracking characters for a long time, and people would think that was me. And it's very much not me, and then people would think I was being sarcastic when I wasn't: 'Oh, you're making fun of me right now.' And I wasn't! — Zooey Deschanel

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. — Liberace

You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock."
"Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone. — Cassandra Clare

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it. — Kristen Bell

Yeah, that would be awesome. Me loaded and trying very hard not to make a scene, while the
guy who had one gay slip with me and his wife are not five feet away, also trying not to be awkward.
That'll be so much fun. I just might hang myself with a rope made of braided napkins."
"Aww. Nice touch with the braid. Very gay," Dylan told him, patting him on the back.
Roan looked at him with a frown. "No one likes a sarcastic bastard, Dyl."
"Well, I do." He paused briefly. "Obviously."
Ouch. — Andrea Speed

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it. — Oscar Wilde

Hermy, when she was not otter-hunting, could be very sarcastic, and he had a clear month of Hermy in front of him, without any otter-hunting, which, so she had informed him, was not possible in August. This was mysterious to Georgie, because it did not seem likely that all otters died in August, and a fresh brood came in like caterpillars. If Hermy was here in October she would otter-hunt all morning and snore all afternoon, and be in the best of tempers, but the August visit required more careful steering. — E.F. Benson

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must. — Bruce LaBruce

If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited. — Bryant McGill

Wow, you're quite a handful. You sure your parents didn't deliberately ship you off on that escape pod?'
Much to his surprise, rather than a sarcastic retort his little charge locked huge, brown eyes on his like a frightened doe in the sights of his 30.06 and bit her lip as her eyes filled with tears.
And at that very moment the term 'disarming' took on a whole new meaning and Jenkins knew he was toast. — Marcha A. Fox

In my work, and in my psyche, there's some very sentimental, traditional, conventional side that's always in argument with a more radical, sarcastic side. Some of my stories are really sentimental, but they're layered over with weird, satirical stuff. — George Saunders

I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey

I was speechless. Which is, as you know, very rare. — James Patterson

Are you from Hapsburg?"
He seemed to think about it for a second or two, then gave a small nod.
"I thought I recognized the accent."
The scowl was back full force. "You are an expert on accents?" He managed to sound sarcastic.
"No. My Uncle Otto was from Hapsburg."
He blinked again, and the scowl wilted around the edges. "You are not German." He sounded very sure.
"My father's family is; from Baden-Baden on the edge of the Black Forest but Uncle Otto was from Hamburg.
"You said only your uncle had the accent."
"By the time I came along, most of the family, except for my grandmother, had been in this country so long there was no accent, but Uncle Otto never lost his."
"He's dead now." Olaf made it half question, half statement.
I nodded.
"How did he die?"
"Grandma Blake says Aunt Gertrude nagged him to death."
His lips twitched. "Women are tyrants if a man allows it." His voice was a touch softer now. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You are, however, surprisingly light of touch."
"Pardon?"
"The way you're holding my hand. I always thought you'd be more of a mauler. Like a diseased wolf chewing the knuckles off me fist."
"That's very nice."
"Not really."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh. I see. Where are we? — G.A. Aiken

very funny my sarcastic friend — Cassandra Clare

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic. — Barbet Schroeder

Although Genesis didn't deepen their kiss or steal his own taste, he did lick his own lips, taking the taste of Curtis off his lips and into his mouth. With their lips still barely touching, Genesis murmured, "You are a little bad boy, aren't you?" Genesis brought his hand up and brushed a lock of hair behind Curtis' ear. "A very pretty bad boy." Genesis gave him another soft kiss, and Curtis swore he was in heaven. "You said we're supposed to be good. You have to stop touching me like that." Curtis panted. "I don't know how," Genesis whispered almost painfully. Leaning back in and kissing Curtis again. "Well, like brother like brother, huh?" Day's sarcastic voice killed their moment as he sauntered into the room without knocking. "Better pull back, Casanova, 'my two dads' are right behind me." Genesis — A.E. Via

All of your sarcastic - "
"Multilayered."
" - answers will not help your cause. You're very flippant about these proceedings. — Kresley Cole

The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever. — Heath Ledger

Stalin was the most audible and powerful spokesman in the campaign against what he contemptuously called uravnilovka (leveling). His hostility - voiced in sarcastic and dismissive terms - was so deep and so clearly enunciated that it rapidly became state policy and social doctrine. He believed in productive results, not through spontaneity or persuasion, but through force, hierarchy, reward, punishment, and above all differential wages. He applied this view to the whole of society. Stalin's anti-egalitarianism was not born of the five-year plan era. He was offended by the very notion and used contemptuous terms such as "fashionable leftists", "blockheads", "petty bourgeois nonsense" and "silly chatter," thus reducing the discussion to a sweeping dismissal of childish, unrealistic, and unserious promoters of equality. The toughness of the delivery evoked laughter of approval from his audience. — Richard Stites

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker

When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic - I'm not any of that. I can do it, but that's not what I'm like. — Robert Webb

I was never very good at being an unemployed actor. I always thought that I should have been doing something pro-active. I was never good at doing juvenile leads. I suppose it's because I have this big sarcastic head on me. — Deirdre O'Kane

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin. — Heinrich Heine

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. — Kurt Fuller

It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I found it very manipulative and controlling. It put the other person constantly on-guard. And it was extremely intimidating because you never knew when she was going to snap. I made a mental note to refine these skills within myself. — Augusten Burroughs

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. — Oscar Wilde