Up Doug Quotes & Sayings

My daughter is very strong-willed and is a great kid. She doesn't drink. She doesn't smoke. She doesn't fold to peer pressure. I think how affectionate my wife and I have been with her over the years all plays into that. She realizes the more people she is exposed to that kids who have both parents around grow up to be much better people. — Doug Flutie

One day I saw the big jaguar,Calypso, jump up from the sand and run quickly, snarling, into the jungle. I looked around and the monkeys were jumping and screeching in the trees. Gazing across the water I saw something moving out there, getting closer. It was a canoe with three men paddling towards my shore. I started to smile and then I worried that they might want to kill me. I ran to my house and brought out my bow and arrows. I stood there on the beach, with my feet shoulder-width apart, and prepared for their arrival. — Doug Hiser

My dad couldn't connect to my wanting to be a filmmaker. He was very connected in entertainment, and through him I met Steven Spielberg and got rides on his private plane to California. I'd see Spielberg's people reading scripts. I was like, 'That's what I want to be when I grow up.' — Doug Liman

The country has moved off track. The people in Washington don't have the hard-nosed business experience needed to get the economy up and running. — Doug Ose

I turn the tables and challenge our people, our scouts, and they respond. We had a meeting with our scouts this week and told them [we] will use and value their opinions. That perks them up. — Doug Melvin

Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it. — Doug Benson

It was so hard to see what the future held because to perform at this game, you have to be "in the mud," obsessed with the task at hand. Perspective is neutralized, stunted so that you can capture only the most relevant, time-sensitive data that will determine how to approach your opponent that day. Then you look up and realize your 20-year career has been a collection of days where you couldn't see tomorrow. — Doug Glanville

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes. — Doug Benson

So please, in the name of John, Paul, George, and possibly Ringo, do not be afraid to screw up once in a while. Life can beat every creative impulse out of you and make you scared to embark in new directions. I say, embark away. (Doug French) — Heather B. Armstrong

I think there is a hunger for things that wake you up, something that makes you peel back your eyes, that reminds you that you are alive. Art is at its best when it is in the 'now.' — Doug Aitken

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps. — Doug Stanhope

They speak little; it is as if the air has been churned up with decade's worth of fruitless pursuit and missed connections and thoughts unspoken, and they are waiting quietly for all this matter - these motes of opportunity forgone - to settle around them. — Doug Dorst

The stars up there at night are closer than you think. — Doug Dillon

Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing. — Doug Stanhope

My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag. — Doug Stanhope

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something's not accurate? — Doug Stanhope

You must think it strange that I'm digging up my grandfather."
"Not at all. I'm sure many young men dig up their grandfathers. — Doug MacLeod

The first thing I think of when I wake up is how close I am to death. But then it gets better during the day. — Doug Stanhope

To toughen up, is to calm down. — Doug Melvin

Mark told reporters why he always threw the ball back to the umpire to exchange for a new one after a base hit. "That ball has a hit in it," he explained. "I want that ball to get back in the ball bag and goof around with the other balls. I want him to talk to the other balls. I want the other balls to beat him up. Maybe that'll smarten him up so when he comes out the next time, he'll pop up. — Doug Wilson

[Stand-up] might be ballsy, but I'd rather not be an actor. Actors are tools. — Doug Stanhope

I learned mime back when I was in college, at Ball State University, Indiana. That woke up my body from the neck down and made me realize that acting and communication - portraying a story, event, or emotion - is a full-body experience. — Doug Jones

Engaging the body in acts of being present with God, including certain ceremonial practices, opens us up to God in new ways. People of faith in ancient times understood that such physical acts and practices as rest and worship, dietary restrictions, and mandated fabric in their wardrobes were of great value to their faith and life. — Doug Pagitt

A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking to me, I would up my pot consumption just to make that happen. — Doug Benson

The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need to be known anymore than I am. The slight sliver of fame I do have is hard to deal with. If I was actually well-known - I don't even know what to say to people who are at my show when I walk into the venue, much less having waitresses in diners asking for my autograph. — Doug Stanhope

There are times when democracy can be a disadvantage. There is an often-recounted and many-versioned story of the mercurial Doug Scott on K2. All versions end with Doug disagreeing with the others, who suggest that the matter be put to the vote. 'You know, youth,' replied Doug, 'democracy is a bit of a failure if you end up having to vote on it. — Victor Saunders

The world communicates subtly. Most people don't hear or see the signs because they're so wrapped up in their day-to-day lives. — Doug Cooper

Democracy is no solution - it's just 51% bossing the other 49% around. For God's sake, Hitler was democratically elected! Democracy is just mob rule dressed up in a coat and tie. — Doug Casey

Two nights later, she was out with some work friends at a blue-plate hipster joint near the L train when she spotted Doug. He had a heavy beard and wore overalls. She liked his eyes, the way they crinkled when he smiled. When he came up to the bar for another pitcher, she struck up a conversation. He told her he was a writer who avoided writing by hosting elaborate dinner parties. His apartment was full of obscure food prep machinery, vintage pasta rollers and a three-hundred-pound cappuccino machine he'd rebuilt screw by screw. — Noah Hawley

My first two years in the CFL, all I thought of was getting back to the NFL - it was like 'I'll put my time in up here and go back.' Then I went and signed a nice contract in Calgary and was like, 'Hey, I can make a living up here, this is great football, and I'm having a blast.' — Doug Flutie

So are you comin' back with me or what?"
Megan lifted her head and sighed. "I have a few conditions."
"Shoulda known," Doug said, rolling his eyes.
"First of all, I did not sign up for a truck stop bathroom," Megan said. "You guys need to start cleaning up after yourselves in there. No more blood, no more hair, no more stains that I don't even want to identify."
"All right, all right," Doug said. "That it?"
"Hardly," Megan said. "I want a hands-off rule on all my stuff. Including my bike."
"Okay ... "
"And I want everyone to stop calling me Megan C Cups behind my back."
Doug's jaw went slack as he flushed. "How did you know about that?"
Megan raised her eyebrows.
"All right, fine. — Kate Brian

promiscuousness? She looked back to Doug. 'I wouldn't use it as a moral compass on the poor girl,' he said, reading her thoughts. 'Was it a bad choice on her part? Or were events thrust upon her, out of her control? That's up to you to find out.' 'She was reported missing last week, and her body was found several days later,' started Erika. 'Yes. I believe the wounds were inflicted over a period of several days; some had already started to heal. The incision to the femoral artery — Robert Bryndza

Come on, guys," Mal said, dropping the wrapper on the floor. "Let's go find our dorms." She started up a flight of stairs. Carlos, Jay, and Evie followed her. "Oh! Uh, yeah, your dorms are that way, guys," said Doug, pointing in the opposite direction. — Walt Disney Company

The beating heart of your story ... that's not what shows up in a trailer. The other stuff is what shows up in a trailer, because that's what gets people in to the seats, and that's how studios make their money. — Doug Liman

I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and there's a hitchhiker with a sign and it says, 'Pick me up, and you can drive in the carpool lane.' I got to tell you, he was kind of smelly, but he was a good conversationalist. — Doug Benson

Communication is paramount, and what medium or what format you utilize should be a non-issue. In some respects, that has created a barrier for new media, especially web new media, because often times maybe the media itself comes before the concept, before the ideas, and ends up navigating or dictating the outcome. — Doug Aitken

The movie I end up with is the movie I aspired to make. — Doug Liman

I'm T. Thorne Rose and I did it hard
Til I wound up dyin in the Zen schoolyard
Can't you see it's more important here to use your brain
Than to poison up your body killin other people's pain
Yes, it's Other People's Pain,
That's a trick you might have missed
So let your Sister Rosie hip you to this little twist
The news, the Blues, the pain, the strain,
the lies we've heard since birth
Are only true if we, ourselves, think that's what life is worth
But when you realize that we are all Queens and Kings
You'll drop the death, take a deep breath,
and hear life when it sings
Don't get lost and washed away like a teardrop in the rain
No abuse of any kind has ever come to any gain
Sister T. Thorn Rose from the group Goldensealed — Doug "Ten" Rose

So, you are now talking to birds?"
Hanlon glanced back from looking up at the tree the crow sat in and said, "Not all birds, just crows, oh, and hawks and eagles, sometimes ospreys, but never vultures."
She laughed at his attempt at humor, "Why don't you talk to vultures?"
"Well, Sassy, because vultures aren't very good conversationalists. Doug Hiser -Montana Mist coming soon 2010 — Doug Hiser

You know, the mountains are full of dangers, and they swallow you up. But mostly, they give. — Doug Coombs

I have spent too much time with my eye glued to the viewfinder and ended up missing both the image of the mind and that on film. — Doug Peacock

I'm always trying to come up with something new and unique. I do a beatbox with a harmonica. — Doug E. Fresh

That's kind of how my jobs have happened over the years. It's been referrals throughout the creature effects/make-up world. The drawings happen, and they see that it's a tall, skinny thing, and they go, 'Let's get Doug Jones for that.' — Doug Jones

So, look, you can't leave," Doug said, sitting straight up and turning towards her. "if you do, Miller's gonna revert and Caleb and Ian are gonna ride roughshod and Sean'll go back to being ghost brother and Finn ... "
Megan's heart slipped. "Finn what?"
"Finn will be destroyed," Doug said, looking her in the eye. "You got that dude all up in a twist, you know that, right?"
"What does that even mean?" Megan asked.
"All's I know is, he found out you left and he locked himself in the shed and barricaded the door. No one's seen him since," Doug said. "When I bolted, Sean and Evan were trying to boost Caleb up onto the roof so he could look through the skylight and make sure the kid wasn't dead or something."
Megan swallowed hard. "Wow. — Kate Brian

If you are thinking that everything sucks, you'll end up where everything does. This is how people get caught in a downward spiral and screw up their whole lives by never recovering from one bad incident. — Doug "Ten" Rose

Comedy is like music; it builds on itself. Once someone comes up with a theory or a different way of doing things, people start to mimic it on some level. That's why you go back to the guys you loved in the 80s ... and it just seems tired now, because it was all foundation. — Doug Stanhope

They both fought to catch their breath, though Megan's oxygen deprivation had nothing to do with the game.
"You okay?" Finn asked.
"Yeah, you?" she replied. Every inch of her body was throbbing to touch him again.
"Yeah," he replied with a huge grin. He pushed himself around and got on all fours in front of her, pausing there with his face inches from hers. "I'm glad you stayed," he whispered, his breath warm on her face.
Megan somehow managed to reply. "Me too."
Then Finn pushed himself up and headed back toward the centre of the yard. For a moment, Megan couldn't move. Then Doug walked over and offered his arm. Megan grasped it thankfully and he yanked up to her shaky legs.
"Who's all in a twist now?" he asked with a smirk.
Megan laughed and shoved him from behind as they headed back to the line. — Kate Brian

When I was growing up, I really liked punk rock. I liked the sort of people that played really powerful music that was pretty unassuming otherwise - people who didn't dress weird or do much theatrics. — Doug Martsch

I'm dating Brandon," I told his bowed head.
"Really?" he asked without looking up.
"Yes!"
"I'll print you a wallet card to whip out every time you need to say that, so you can save your voice."
"Could you laminate it? — Jennifer Echols

You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger ... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science. — Doug Stanhope

Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up ... there are too many people. — Doug Stanhope

Lockie stood with his arms by his sides as she ran her hands over his hair and squeezed his arms. Tina could see how uncomfortable Lockie felt at being touched. Margie hugged him again and again. She didn't notice Lockie's face or she would have stopped. When Margie stood up she was crying. Pete, meanwhile, was watching Tina.
'Start talking,' he said to her and Tina could see he had already decided who was to blame for Lockie's disappearance.
'Her name's Tina,' said Lockie. 'She saved me. Can you take us home, Pete?'
Pete looked at Lockie. 'You know I will, Lockie, but first - '
'Please, Pete,' said Lockie. 'Can you just take us home?'
'Oh god,' said Margie. 'Doug and Sarah - we have to call them. We have to let them know.' She kept touching Lockie, on his head, on his arms and on his back. Tina could see Lockie wince. People wouldn't know that they needed to be careful when they touched him. Some touches can make you feel sick. — Nicole Trope

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect. — Doug Stanhope

It's no secret that my process is a little bit loose and can be a little bit infuriating to a studio if they don't know what they're signing up for. — Doug Liman

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk? — Doug Stanhope

The one thing about players today is that they're very sensitive, and very fragile. They didn't grow up with tough coaches. — Doug Collins

You can never really, truly, understand discrimination unless you've been fuckin' ugly. Ugly people face as much, or more, discrimination than any fuckin' minority group, and they have none of the ... recourse ... You don't have any group that's going to come together and fight for your rights ... 'cause there's no unity among the ugly ... And ugly isn't even a minority! We're the fuckin' majority, and we still take the fuckin' backseat!
...
Any minority would rather be called the worst racial slur according to their group than pointed out as unattractive: someone calls you a nigger, a lot of people fuckin' bunch up around you and go 'what the fuck you say to him?!'; someone calls you dog-dick-fuckin'-ugly, you wear that all by yourself. — Doug Stanhope

Since 2000, no important technology innovation in the United States has been scaled up to create millions of manufacturing, marketing, and engineering jobs here, as personal computers and related industries did. While selling online and social networking are clearly transformational movements that have created entrepreneurial opportunities, fewer than fifty thousand traditional jobs - those with full-time hours, benefits, and health insurance - have been created. — Doug Menuez

The entrepreneur must hire and delegate to senior management the responsibility of implementing and managing this control system. For many entrepreneurs, delegating constitutes the most personally challenging transition. Primarily, they fear losing control of a firm they've built from the ground up. Yet delegating to senior management is, in truth, the only way to gain back control. — Doug Tatum

The 20th century is a period defined by cultural and artistic movements. However, the 21st century creative-scape that we occupy now doesn't really have movements in the same way. Instead it's made up of diverse individuals working across various platforms simultaneously; art, architecture, film, music and literature. — Doug Aitken

Will you be my best man?" Furi didn't answer. He stared at his best friend for a few long seconds before he stood up and Doug knew what Furi wanted to do. He grabbed him and hugged him tight right there in the middle of the restaurant. He kissed Doug on the cheek when he pulled back. "Fuck yeah! I'd be honored, man." They — A.E. Via

Once I'm in the editing room, forget about what I intended to shoot. I take a cold, hard look at what I really did shoot, and then I edit that because, if you try to edit what you intended and you missed somewhere, that will show up. — Doug Liman

Ami leaned into his side and inhaled the fresh scent of man. "Uh, no. Sometimes my biological clock threatens to explode like a ticking bomb, that's all. Rachel is so lucky. Nat is a doll. Doug adores them. Don't mind me, I'm just wishing my laundry pile was filled with boxer shorts and Cinderella T-shirts. I'll get over it."
"Why do you have to get over it," Marcus asked gently. "Sounds like a nice dream to me."
... a few pages later
Things were looking up. If he could just convince her his boxer shorts belonged in her laundry basket, he'd be right on board with her six-month plan — Penny Watson

What ever happened to happy endings?
They got them on shows at Saturday matinees.
Sure, but what about life?
All I know is I feel good going to bed nights, Doug. That's a happy ending once a day. Next morning I'm up and maybe things go bad. But all I got to do is remember that I'm going to bed that night and just lying there a while makes everything okay. — Ray Bradbury

Falling in love creates beauty in every facet of life. A hovering bee, a gentle flowing creek, pale blue sky, the crinkle at the corner of an old woman's eye, bare feet on velvet moss, a songbird in a bush, even the howl of a far away wolf become so beautiful to those finding a new love. It was like that for Sassy and Hanlon, everything seemed sharper and clearer. It was like a new view of the world that they had never known existed had opened up to them. Doug Hiser Montana Mist — Doug Hiser

I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic. — Doug Stanhope

Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny. — Doug Stanhope

I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals. — Doug Stanhope

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons. — Doug Stanhope

My daughter just graduated college and she's a dance major. She's done a couple of dance videos already and won Miss Massachusetts a couple of weeks ago. She's going out for Miss United States the second week of July, out in Las Vegas. She will probably wind up going to New York and trying the Broadway thing. — Doug Flutie

Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno; come up with your own example, smart-ass. — Doug Benson

Learn to pause...or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you. — Doug King

Ease up on yourselves. Have some compassion for yourself as well as for others. There's no such thing as perfection, and life is not a race. — Doug Marlette

Father's Day was great, but all the family gatherings brought up my mother's death. Maybe it's me, because I am a wimp. We would get together, but there was someone missing! — Doug Davidson

The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing. — Doug Benson

I got a statistic for you right now. Grab your pencil, Doug. There are five billion trees in the world. I looked it up. Under every tree is a shadow, right? So, then, what makes night? I'll tell you: shadows crawling out from under five billion trees! Think of it! Shadows running around in the air, muddying the waters you might say. If only we could figure a way to keep those darn five billion shadows under those trees, we could stay up half the night, Doug, because there'd be no night! — Ray Bradbury

Giving up on your dreams, that's the only way to truly fail! — Doug Robbins

I'm so proud of you, Douggie," Sierra says, throwing herself on him. They start making out immediately, not caring who's watching or about Fairfield's PDA policy.
"I love you," Doug says when they come up for air.
"I love you, too," Sierra coos in a baby voice.
"Get a room," another classmate calls out. — Simone Elkeles

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces. — Doug Stanhope

Grace is wild. Grace unsettles everything. Grace overflows the banks. Grace messes up your hair. Grace is not tame. — Doug Wilson

Okay. This guy came to the bar and flirted with you, then he pummels some guy for hitting you." Doug counts off each attribute on his fingers. "Then he chases after you to make sure you're okay. But you blow him off because he's a cop." Doug shook his head. "I'm sorry, but what exactly is the problem?"

Furi's head was spinning at his screwed-up emotions. "I told you how Patrick started hitting me after I gave him what he asked for in bed. Whenever we'd fuck a certain way, he'd love it, but would always freak out later. I can see the same shit in Syn. As soon as men like that fuck, they lose their shit and immediately feel like they have to reclaim their lost manhood, on my face. Mark my words. Syn would snap just like Pat did."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Call it my gay man's intuition. — A.E. Via

What's up?" Doug asked with a loud whisper as he swung the door open. His short blond hair was in a state of disarray and the pajama pants he wore were horribly wrinkled. The poor guy looked like a disheveled mess. Pressing his finger to his lips, he stepped back and gestured for Sadie to come in. "Emily is finally asleep, and if she wakes up, I might actually cry. — Sara Humphreys

It is harder to be a lifter than a bodybuilder ... lifting is purely masculine whereas bodybuilding entails feminine traits. Bodybuilding reminds me of a woman getting ready to go somewhere. Can you tell me that greasing your body up and posing in front of a mirror is masculine? A bodybuilder puts strength secondary to his physique, whereas the lifter puts strength foremost because it is more masculine to do so. — Doug Hepburn

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason. — Doug E. Fresh

I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man. — Doug Benson

I probably shouldn't treat interviews as therapy sessions, but I don't keep a diary, so these end up being my way of keeping track of where I'm at and letting it all out. — Doug Liman

In the real world, if you're in a car chase, you're going to hit a million things and your car is going to end up a total wreck by the end. — Doug Liman

I was sitting with the rest of my college graduating class listening to the commencement speaker prepare us for life after graduation, and he had a lot of ground to cover because my liberal arts education had skirted the issue for 4 years. I was just waiting for them to call my name so I could go up, collect my diploma, fold it into a paper hat, and start flipping burgers at McDonalds. — Doug Lansky

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. — Doug Larson

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night. — Doug Stanhope

I'm coming up with new music, I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm real sharp, my energy is strong. I look at it as: I'm just following the energy. That's how I sum that up. — Doug E. Fresh

Will you at least have some coffee with me before you leave?" Furi pouted, immediately feeling silly for it.

"Dude. You're way too tatted up to ever make that face." Doug laughed. He bent over and pressed a kiss to Furi's forehead. "I will not have a cup of your nasty coffee. I will however, take you to breakfast and drink some real coffee with you."

Furi felt better already. He stood, wrapped his arms around Doug, and whispered, "Thank you for last night. I needed it."

"I know. Now go get dressed." Doug popped him on the shoulder. — A.E. Via

The ones that bother me the most are the media saying, He's like the next Bill Hicks. It's supposed to be complimentary, but then all these Bill Hicks fans show up thinking you're going to be like him, and then go, You're no Bill Hicks. And I'm like, I never wanted to try to be like him, I don't think I'm anything like him at all, and now you're mad at me for not being him because a journalist didn't have a better reference. — Doug Stanhope

I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days. — Doug Benson

. I wanted to hug her, to hold her and tell her that I would have killed him if he ever hurt her. I wanted to shout at her and tell her I would protect her and help her and always be there for her. In that moment I think I fell in love for the first time. I walked over to her not really comprehending what I was feeling but reaching out to her with compassion. I sat down beside Rae and put my arm around her. She hugged me back and whispered, "Thank you."
She stood up and touched my cheek with her fingers and went inside her house. I sat there awhile until the porch-light went off and then walked home, my feet about an inch above the ground. — Doug Hiser

All I know is, he found out you left and he locked himself in the shed and barricaded the door. No one's seen him since," Doug said. "When I bolted, Sean and Evan were trying to boost Caleb up onto the roof so he could look through the skylight and make sure the kid wasn't dead or something. — Kate Brian

The GOP leaders are upset with me, but the Republicans around the district are thanking me for stepping up to the plate and giving them a choice in this election of a real common sense conservative Reagan Republican. — Doug Hoffman

Even the best buzz wears off, and you wake up more trapped than the day before. — Doug Cooper

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you. — Doug Benson

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here. — Doug Stanhope